You heard of the Three Amigos, meet the Three Idiots...

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

In 1981, our central air conditioning unit for the main villa went out for 3 hours.

So I know what it's like living in the barrio, in the squalor, in the 'hood.

a reply to: DBCowboy


Experiences like that are the only true test of a persons toughness. Not living in some nameless city in, say, Mississippi.

If your hometown was so bad why didn't it even have a name? Huh?

Hell, my neighborhood was so bad I once saw a brown person. They were of course cleaning the pool but he was within only 10-15' feet of me, it was intense.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Scary.

I once had a parking valet ask me how my day was going.

I mean, he actually wanted to have a conversation with me.

I was so frightened that I had him fired. I mean, he didn't pull a gun on me, but it was probably next on his list.

a reply to: DBCowboy


I don't doubt that he was armed with a bazooka or similar assault type grenade thing. I would have had him fired too, but first I would have called all my homies to beat on him a little and then taken the car keys for everyone else's cars because it looked like they were all driving BMW's and not Bentleys. Paupers.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Scary.

I once had a parking valet ask me how my day was going.

I mean, he actually wanted to have a conversation with me.

I was so frightened that I had him fired. I mean, he didn't pull a gun on me, but it was probably next on his list.

A gun would've been the LEAST of your worries. "Those People" are just crawling with diseases like Ebola and Halitosis.

a reply to: IAMTAT


Were you ever robbed at gun point?

I was robbed at West Point, I wanted to be a 4 star general but they only let me have a couple.

The only time I was actually robbed was when I rented a villa on St. Barts and it was only a seven bedroom, 6 bathroom instead of an eight bedroom, seven bathroom.

They lied to me.

Fortunately we already had a bigger place and didn't stay at the dump (it was for the cats and the people who fed them) but I felt so used and dirty afterwards.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I was threatened by a minority gardner with a suspicious looking Pez dispenser.
Naturally, the police in my gated community ruled his death 'Self Defense'.

a reply to: DBCowboy


If I were you I would've pulled a gun on that person.

Or at least had my valet pull a gun on that person and (how does the saying go?) 'bust a cap in his buttocks'. Word.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I was threatened by a minority gardner with a suspicious looking Pez dispenser.
Naturally, the police in my gated community ruled his death 'Self Defense'.

People just don't recognize our turf.

I even spray painted our tags all over, '1%ers rule!'.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I was threatened by a minority gardner with a suspicious looking Pez dispenser.
Naturally, the police in my gated community ruled his death 'Self Defense'.

A Pez dispenser?

You're obviously over paying them.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy


If I were you I would've pulled a gun on that person.

Or at least had my valet pull a gun on that person and (how does the saying go?) 'bust a cap in his buttocks'. Word.

I hired someone to pen a strongly worded letter on parchment.

I even authorized the use of "underlining" certain words and/or phrases.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I was threatened by a minority gardner with a suspicious looking Pez dispenser.
Naturally, the police in my gated community ruled his death 'Self Defense'.

People just don't recognize our turf.

I even spray painted our tags all over, '1%ers rule!'.

To mark MY turf...I took out my old lawn jockey and replaced it with a Confederate statue from S.C., that I picked up cheap on EBAY.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I hired someone to pen a strongly worded letter on parchment.

I even authorized the use of "underlining" certain words and/or phrases.

Were 'doody head' and 'BB brain' among them? People like him only respect fear so you need to be as intimidating as possible.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
To mark MY turf...I took out my old lawn jockey and replaced it with a Confederate statue from S.C., that I picked up cheap on EBAY.

The last time I marked some turf was on the 8th fairway at Bushwood, I did replace the divot though.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
To mark MY turf...I took out my old lawn jockey and replaced it with a Confederate statue from S.C., that I picked up cheap on EBAY.

The last time I marked some turf was on the 8th fairway at Bushwood, I did replace the divot though.

What kind of cheap-ass club do you belong to?
Didn't they have any Mexicans there to do that for you?

originally posted by: IAMTAT
What kind of cheap-ass club do you belong to?
Didn't they have any Mexicans there to do that for you?

Are those like the people in MSG-13? I ain't afraid of them, I watched a couple of Steven Seagal movies.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Be wary of PMS-13 gangs.

They. . . they. . . . they frighten me.

a reply to: DBCowboy

I'd be afraid of MPG 13 too.

...That's terrible fuel efficiency.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Be wary of PMS-13 gangs.

They. . . they. . . . they frighten me.

I willing to take them on using my numbchucks.