Horrible Advice

On ATS, moderators love it when you argue with them over thread closures. It shows them that you enjoy a good debate.

a reply to: Skid Mark in'll be wearing long johns! oh no! underwear... and ragged clothing.
Streaking is gross, bad advice..moon a cop.

At grocery stores they give away free samples. So take the initiative and open a box of new flavored crackers and sample a couple while walking around looking for something to on top of those edible plates! And of course nothing really goes with habanero crackers so leave them within reach (basket height) in candy bin aisle!

a reply to: Skid Mark

I hope I'm first with:

When lighting a cigarette on a gas stove, place the cigarette between your lips and lean your face over the flame.

When cooking, go ahead and make that quick run to the store, you'll make it back before the dish is done.

a reply to: peppycat

Right.

It's a cool gag, when you see a cop car coming toward you, to make frightened motions and then run.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
On ATS, moderators love it when you argue with them over thread closures. It shows them that you enjoy a good debate.

I like to give them abuse via Pm's until they realise their error and reopen the thread.

It works 9 times out of 10.

a reply to: pthena just remember, it is caffeinated soda pop, in the 7-11 cup..so no shaky scarred spills... and it is rolled tobacco, okay?
Bad advice, go into one store, buy a product sold same as in the next store you go into, without the receipt...
Lol, in seriousness...


Bad advice, make sure your wearing a hoodie.

a reply to: peppycat

I can relate to the receipt thing.

When buying two identical electronically tagged items, it's fine if the cashier scans one and types x2 into the register.

a reply to: pthena long as they remove the device that sets off an alarm I'm good. Yet always ready to threaten with a law suit. Or just go back and have them remove the thing.
Bad advice, if you see a crazy person on the bus, try having a conversation with them.

originally posted by: peppycat
a reply to: pthena long as they remove the device that sets off an alarm I'm good. Yet always ready to threaten with a law suit. Or just go back and have them remove the thing.
Bad advice, if you see a crazy person on the bus, try having a conversation with them.

I don't need to start conversations with crazy people they always see me for what I am and instigate the conversation.

I once had a guy tell me out of the blue that he did not need to smoke anymore as he just wandered about looking for discarded nicotine patches and sucked the nicotine out of them, I got that same bus once a week and he was always there waiting for me....

originally posted by: nonspecific
I once had a guy tell me out of the blue that he did not need to smoke anymore as he just wandered about looking for discarded nicotine patches and sucked the nicotine out of them, I got that same bus once a week and he was always there waiting for me....

Stop judging me.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
I once had a guy tell me out of the blue that he did not need to smoke anymore as he just wandered about looking for discarded nicotine patches and sucked the nicotine out of them, I got that same bus once a week and he was always there waiting for me....

Stop judging me.

I miss our little rides on the bus mate, normal busses are boring when they have the window wipers only on the outside.

a reply to: nonspecific bad advice, leave nicotine patches around where young people and animals are...what a nightmare.
Bad advice, smoke all your tobacco until you have to scrounge around the town ashtrays... till the next check arrives.
Bad advice, take cans from wrong recycle bin in town and watch out for busy bodies being nosy about can collectors.
Usually when speaking to someone starring off into space having a conversation, I simply nod in agreement as to what they are saying... when they glance your way.... or make a face and then feel bad for not waving and smiling at a person who got their back slapped while making a face in the mirror... don't try it.

a reply to: peppycat

long as they remove the device that sets off an alarm I'm good.

It was at a big variety drug store. Some system without physical device, magnetic something or other. The price scanner de-thingamjigs the item.

When I got to the door, the alarm went off. Three store employees rushed me.

"Stop!" I calmly and firmly said, "For your own sakes, it is very important that you be aware of your words and actions in these next few moments, because very shortly you will discover that you are the ones embarrassed by this incident and not me." Long speech, but it worked. Them scratching their heads was preferable to them grabbing me.

So they dump out the bag, look at the receipt, can't figure out what the problem is. Then the cashier comes over and says, "My fault, I only scanned one of those 25 cent no. 2 pencils, and put x2 in the register. I'm gonna have to remember not to do that again."

Happy ending. Good way to delay your day!

a reply to: pthena great story, glad you held your authority as a shopper!

originally posted by: peppycat
a reply to: nonspecific bad advice, leave nicotine patches around where young people and animals are...what a nightmare.
Bad advice, smoke all your tobacco until you have to scrounge around the town ashtrays... till the next check arrives.
Bad advice, take cans from wrong recycle bin in town and watch out for busy bodies being nosy about can collectors.
Usually when speaking to someone starring off into space having a conversation, I simply nod in agreement as to what they are saying... when they glance your way.... or make a face and then feel bad for not waving and smiling at a person who got their back slapped while making a face in the mirror... don't try it.

A good mate of mine always has 2 small toy pengions in his pockets when travelling on the train or bus.

He finds himself a nice spot and then takes them out and talks and interacts with them to avoid people sitting next to him and allwong him to have a bit of space.

a reply to: peppycat

glad you held your authority as a shopper!

Oh, the stories!

Then there was that shopping trip which began with my companion and I in front of the tobacco rack discussing the relative merits of one rolling tobacco over the other.
... cut to final scene ---

"Well, if you aren't going to search me, and you aren't going to call the manager or security over to search me, then why are you bothering to question me, if all you are willing to do is call me a liar when I respond?"

For an enjoyable conversation with a store employee, pick up an item of merchandise while she's looking, then put it back when she's not looking.

Remember: after you have enjoyed your chewing Tabaco please swallow the packet and leave the streets clean.

You can always use your room mate's toothbrush! Why else would you be room mates? Share and share alike.

Expiration dates are only suggestions! Slice meat will last longer than any date on the package... besides, that is why there is mustard.

Tired of buying dog food? Just buy more people food, over feed yourself, and puke where Fido has easy access. Man's (and woman's!) best friend.

Tires going bald? Just over inflate them. If it works for NASCAR and Formula 1 then you will be just fine driving your Ford Fiesta around on bald tires at 65 PSI.

a reply to: peppycat
Cops love being flashed.

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF
They love it when you sample food like that. It shows how much you value the quality.

a reply to: pthena
I actually did that. I almost burned my face lol. In my defense, I was drunk.

a reply to: nonspecific
So, you either "beat" them into submission or annoy them until they give in lol.

a reply to: Skid Mark great advice, just smile pretty for the camera?..
And remember to jay walk.