Lost my Little Bro and my Big Sis in 24 Hours

a reply to: whyamIhere
My deepest sympathies for you and your family now, and in the days ahead as you work through such a tragedy.

My Bro was 49.

Sis was 61.

She was in poor health. I told her on the phone.

I cannot remember much more than sounds and screaming.

She was not the type that you would keep anything from.

The two were extremely close.

Thank you to everyone for the incredibly kind responses.

It really helps to know people care.

originally posted by: symphonyofblase

originally posted by: BeefNoMeat
a reply to: symphonyofblase

It wasn't too long ago there was a thread about an Idaho rancher shot and killed by police...his wife had a heart-attack on-the-spot. These things can and do happen.

I am well aware that people can die, when they receive news of their spouse dying or being killed.
I think you misinterpreted my comment you took offense to.

You're grasping at straws. I took no offense to anything - I provided an anecdote regarding the very premise of your post. Barking up the wrong tree.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It is a horrible feeling losing those you love.

Only time can help. Whatever you do..do NOT drink alcohol. It makes it 100 times worse.

a reply to: whyamIhere

OMG, I am so sorry! I can't imagine! Please know that you are supported by a fantastic group of people here... You'll be in my thoughts.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Ahhh, may I just wrap you up in an ongoing hug? My heart breaks for you. Talk to us, let it out.

You are not to blame for your sister's death. Do not even think of blaming yourself. Your sister would have wanted to know.

Just keep telling yourself how much they loved you and you loved them and focus on this.

My deepest condolences.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Whenever you are ready to do so, would you mind telling us about them?

Then they can live on in our memories as well.

a reply to: whyamIhere

I have only read the OP brother, but hold fast and try to stay strong. This is a heavy burden you will undoubtedly carry for the rest of your life irrespective of reassurances from family and friends of the facts.

I grieve for your loss mate, I too have a brother and sister and to lose both right now would gut me in every way possible, so I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Knowing the righteousness of your posting history, please consider talking to a professional - there are some amazing people ready to assist in this field, and I for one, without even meeting you, am in pain with this news.

PM me if you want to talk about it.

a reply to: whyamIhere
That's terrible news, but I'm still glad you felt led to share it with us.

I cannot even comprehend what you're having to deal with. I've lost close family members, but not as you have. So, giving advice is even harder; I think some other members can do that way better than I can. All I can say is that if you want to get anything off your chest, I'm a good listener and my message box is always open.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Chin up fellow member.

I've seen my fair share of passings and don't let anyone tell you how to grieve, that decision is yours and yours alone. Always remember that ATS always offers a shoulder to cry on and you feel the need to vent then remember the words of the great philosopher Nike- 'just do it.' I'm sorry for the poor joke but I found that humor does help in times of sadness.

Strength beyond strength OP.

All the love and prayers we can send right now are coming your way. The only advice I have is to allow yourself the grace and space you need to grieve. Even though it will be hard, going through it is much easier in the long run than trying to fight it or circumvent it.

Holding you up in our thoughts as you deal with this tragedy.

Thoughts with you...

Don't know what to say, and I doubt my poetry would help you right now...
So I'll save it.

Just know I've written a poem for you and you can PM me any time if you wish to hear it.
Or indeed if you just need a chat.


X

a reply to: whyamIhere

Bless you and your family... I lost a brother who was basically my best friend, we were exceptionally close, it's terrible and only time lessens the grief. I can tell you that all the cliche stuff about remembering the sweet moments really does help, some.

I am truly sorry for your loss, it's unimaginable. You are in my thoughts.

Springer...

a reply to: whyamIhere

So very sorry for your losses.
There's not much to say, but from experience, don't blame yourself.
I can't help but notice you add in the fact that you said to tell her. That doesn't make it your fault, ever.
I only say this after years of irrational guilt that I carried myself.

Please take care of yourself in this incredibly tough time. Eat well, and a drink couldn't possibly hurt.

originally posted by: Springer
a reply to: whyamIhere

Bless you and your family... I lost a brother who was basically my best friend, we were exceptionally close, it's terrible and only time lessens the grief. I can tell you that all the cliche stuff about remembering the sweet moments really does help, some.

I am truly sorry for your loss, it's unimaginable. You are in my thoughts.

Springer...

This website of yours is very special.

The souls that gather here from all over the world,

They are like nothing I have ever seen.

Thank you...

a reply to: whyamIhere
How are you holding up? I hope that all is as well as it could be.

a reply to: whyamIhere

My sympathies to you and your family.

whyamIhere, I am so sorry to hear of your family deaths. If I could reach out and hug you I would. It is a sad time, but the sadness will ease with time. Take care of yourself.

a reply to: whyamIhere

how tragic - I'm so sorry for your pain. I would take care with "the Medicate", in a case as like this a short term would probably be good to help you through. I'm not religious but a grief counsellor or churchie person could be a good start.

Condolences

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Lost my brother a couple of days ago.

Upon hearing the news my Big Sis collapsed and died.

We debated if we should tell her. I said to tell her.

I am completely in shock.

I don't know why I feel compelled to post it here.

People can't even talk to me. Nobody knows what to say.

Cause there are no words.

This has been the hardest thing I ever dealt with.

Any advice except medicate ?

Know that grief is not a linear process. You may have a day that feels more normal than you can remember in ages, only to be followed by one that feels like the worst of your life. Be patient with yourself. At times you will feel compromised, like half of your brain cells are on the lam. They are not. They are busy processing your loss and should be left to do their work. Honor them when it feels right to you, in the way that it feels right to you. There is no objectively right way to do this and no one knows better than you what is right for you.

Occasionally a good moment will sneak up on you. Don't run away from it. You may feel that you don't deserve it, or that you aren't ready for it, or that it represents turning the page too quickly on the pain and loss that you are obliged to experience as part of this process. None of those things are true. It is an oasis in a desert of grief and you need it to survive. It is more like coming up for air than it is like turning a page or proceeding down a path away from this place in which you presently find yourself.

Part of what you are experiencing is a universal experience that nearly every other human can understand and relate to. Part of what you are experiencing is a deeply private and unique experience almost no one will understand or relate to. You may find yourself surprised which parts are which. Let it be.

Pay some respects with your tears. If they stay inside they'll turn and become a sort of spiritual sepsis.

There will never be words from the mouths of others that can match the intensity and depth and realness of what is happening inside of you. Many people will say to you what I say to you now: I am so, so sorry for your loss. Those words won't ever be enough, but there aren't better ones. Please accept the small bits of comfort and understanding we others can offer you.