Lost my Little Bro and my Big Sis in 24 Hours

I am so sorry for your loss.....and your sister did need to be told . She deserved to know , and had the right to know about her brother . ....my only advice to you is this : " there is no right nor wrong way to grieve. We all grieve in different ways and we all heal in different ways . If you want to cry...cry....if you want to scream...scream...what ever it is that helps you grieve, do it. Just remember , there is no right or wrong way to grieve " .......again , so sorry for you loss, and will say a prayer for,you and your family .

a reply to: whyamIhere
It could not possibly be your fault. You should rest or type on here, whichever makes you feel better. It will be a long time until you feel normal. Read about stages of grief, you will know what to expect. Keep close to other family members. Take care of yourself, first and foremost, this is quite a shock to the psyche.

a reply to: whyamIhere

Can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling after such a loss whyamIhere , all I can offer is my heart felt condolences and deepest sympathy.
Thinking of you today and wishing you and your family the strength to help you through this time.

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Lost my brother a couple of days ago.

Upon hearing the news my Big Sis collapsed and died.

We debated if we should tell her. I said to tell her.

I am completely in shock.

I don't know why I feel compelled to post it here.

People can't even talk to me. Nobody knows what to say.

Cause there are no words.

This has been the hardest thing I ever dealt with.

Any advice except medicate ?

I am devastated for you and can only emphatically say that you are not in any way responsible.

originally posted by: WP4YT
Snippedt

Are you kidding? Some (a lot) of people have undiagnosed medical conditions that can be brought on by certain events.

Wrapping you in light.

So very sorry to hear of this monumental loss to you and your family. That is some of the rawest kind of pain to walk through. This is the time when community can help carry you until you can find your feet again.

-AB

I am so, so sorry to hear your news. You did the right thing telling your sister, try not to worry. I know that's easy to say, but do try not to hold yourself to blame, you couldn't possibly have known.

The only advice would be lots of hugs and lots of crying - and don't stop talking to them. Let them know how you feel and tell them what you want to say.

Take good care of yourself, hope to see you around soon.

B x

a reply to: whyamIhere

What a horrific thing to go through.
I'm so sorry you've had to endure something like this.
You did the right thing, don't ever question that... what other option did you have?
This is just one of those horrible events beyond our control.

Hang in there. I'll be praying for you and your family.

My prayers are with you and your family.
You did what you knew to be right. Nobody could do any different. It was her time.

I lost my sister suddenly as well. The thing that seemed to help bring us all out of shock was going through pictures. The funeral homes in our area take family photos and put together a slide show for the family. Just the act of going through all those photos brought floods of memories back. Lots of wonderful memories!
It brought the family together outside of the formality of the funeral home. Everyone brought their favorite pix and contributed to the memorial we created.
May your memories have more laughter than tears.

People tend to abandon people in their time of grief, so if you ever need an ear...

I am so terribly sorry to hear of your heartbreaking news. Something similar happened to a friend of mine first her mum and then when grandma told she went to hold her daughter in her arms on the other side. Thats all your sister has done gone to give your brother a cuddle. And when the time comes they will be right there waiting for you, but not just yet.

Although you are in shock now and your heart is breaking soon you will get angry and then the memories will come, the happy times and all will become clear to you why you were left behind.

Take each day at a time, sometimes you will go forward and sometimes you will feel the need to go back scared if you let go you will lose them forever but you wont they are right next door loving you and willing you to enjoy life however tough it may be x

a reply to: symphonyofblase

It wasn't too long ago there was a thread about an Idaho rancher shot and killed by police...his wife had a heart-attack on-the-spot. These things can and do happen.

originally posted by: calstorm
People tend to abandon people in their time of grief, so if you ever need an ear...

Do they?
I am very interested to learn more about this social behaviour.

originally posted by: BeefNoMeat
a reply to: symphonyofblase

It wasn't too long ago there was a thread about an Idaho rancher shot and killed by police...his wife had a heart-attack on-the-spot. These things can and do happen.

Yes... they do happen.
It's almost more common than not, actually.


I just wanted to know how old mate chose to explain it.


In his own words.

I'm very sorry for your terrible loss.

originally posted by: SaturnFX
one bit of advice
swap out alcohol for tea. you dont need booze anywhere near until it is time to drink with a smile with friends to toast their life and how their ripples remain.

I second this. Grief and sorrows may not be able to swim forever and might go below the surface if you try to drown them, but they can hold their breath indefinitely.

a reply to: whyamIhere

I'm sorry for your losses whyamIhere


I have a twin brother and a little sister, I couldn't even imagine losing them both within 24hrs.

I envy your strength to be able to post it up here for everyone to see, and I think that will help greatly.

a reply to: whyamIhere

you posted this not long ago to me

Both my Parents are dead. I would chop off my right arm to see either one for 10 seconds.

Just to say I love you one more time.

my heart sunk reading you have suffered another tragic loss.. sir I want you to know that your post was the one that kept me from running away from my family and never look back to just sucking it up.. mum called me today and she had the cutest smile on her face.. i dont know what else to say but that you were so right and thank you for being around when I needed help from all of you .. no words

you also wrote this

Kind of funny to read this in light of the week I have had.

I have to disagree. People care, even people in online forums.

I understand the caution about listening to advice from unaffected people.

However, an online friend for over 10 years died this week.

He was 47. He had two beautiful kids and a great wife that he loved.

I cried like a baby when I heard he passed. He was my friend and I do care.

There are some wise people here. Doesn't hurt to run it up the flagpole.

You gave me hope and aid my heart to recover .. please don’t disappear .. I wish i could take your pain away really I do I am sorry to hear all of this .. but you mean so much like to myself (you may not even know it ) like yourself I do care we do care

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Lost my brother a couple of days ago.

Upon hearing the news my Big Sis collapsed and died.

We debated if we should tell her. I said to tell her.

I am completely in shock.

I don't know why I feel compelled to post it here.

People can't even talk to me. Nobody knows what to say.

Cause there are no words.

This has been the hardest thing I ever dealt with.

Any advice except medicate ?

I am so sorry for your great loss.

I don't have any advice for you, that you don't already know.

I have been reading your threads for some time now, and it was the first thread I read, that made me say to myself, whyamIhere is a real genuine good person, with common sense. (something we don't see to often anymore).

You don't need advice, you just need a good hug.

Here is the thread I was talking about.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

originally posted by: BeefNoMeat
a reply to: symphonyofblase

It wasn't too long ago there was a thread about an Idaho rancher shot and killed by police...his wife had a heart-attack on-the-spot. These things can and do happen.

I am well aware that people can die, when they receive news of their spouse dying or being killed.
I think you misinterpreted my comment you took offense to.