Addiction and Withdrawal. A special kind of Demon

First I must say this. I put in at least a solid two hours working on this thread. This is not including my hand written rough drafts! I had about two paragraphs left and I was ready to submit..........accidentally deleted everything. No way I know of how i can retrieve my work.......un-freakin- believable. I switched devices and am very determined not to let that happen again.

I can only hope that this is even worth the time and somebody out there gets an interesting read, and that this time is as well put together as the one I screwed up, becuase my energy/patience levels are operating at a diminished status.........anyway....forgive the rant please..............mods please feel,fee to move this thread if you find it's necessary, sorry if I was to much of a noob to place it right in the first place.



Withdrawal

Dear reader, and beautiful people all around the world, if you are one of us who has been unfortunate enough to have an intimate familiarity with that term. Then you may have just shuddered. I know I do when I think of a bad one....

Withdrawal is a broad term. It covers a full spectrum of emotional and physical effects.These symptoms are cuased generally but an abrubt discontinuation of a medication, recreational drug, and even some supplements. Depending on the substance, duration of use, and the individuals dosage withdrawal can range from the most minor and almost unnoticeable inconvenience, to an internal mental, emotional physical torment that defys a justifiable description. The severity of all factors I also believe has a strong connection with the individualis mental strenghthn and how they personally perceive the situation.

Not all WDs feel the same or run the same course. It all depends on the substance or combination of substances that you have allowed your system to become accustomed too.

Duration and dosage, if someone can't find control over those, some sort of realistic moderation, well, rocky rocky roads lie ahead.

Of all addictive substances I know of only two that can kill you with the withdrawal. One is Alcohol. Im pretty sure folks who are that scary lost in alcoholism, can cunvulse and die if they were to quit cold turkey at that point you have to taper effectively and possibly take anti seizure meds and even a strong Benzo like,Klonopin for short term.

The other is benzodiazepines. These can be an absolute God send miricle if you are actually panicking, that's about it tho. Benzos, need to be taken veeerrrry seriously and with extreme moderation. Otherwise, you're asking to possibly ruin a long portion of your life if not the whole dang thing....

Xanax in particular is very strong and very good at what it's meant for, but try the withdrawals (don't actually anybody, for the love of God ) when I was trying different things with limited knowledge like a fool. I got hooked pretty deep with the Xanax (legally prescribed, so I really hope I'm not breaking rules, this stuff is important.)

That pill can truly get an absolute hold on your soul and who you are. If can manage to avoid blacking out. (which means u gotta keep your heart pumping, also bad). If you're as stupid as I was, and I'm actually not even that bad. Some people are very lost, I'm fortunate enough to have love and support in my life, and the ability to know when enough is enough, and which priorities to focus on.

However if you act as stupid as I was, it'll be three weeks later and and entire bottle of the legally prescribed bottle of the benzodiazepine Xanax is 100% gone. Huge unspeakable mistake. 2 days later I was hit very hard with a tsunami of extremely unpleasant feelings.

.Skin was strangely numb
.so incredibly regretful and depressed
.really week, I lost a lot of muscle during that time
.my neck became progressively more and more tight and painful to move.
.all kinds of weird little brain twitches (I was trying so hard to to think about seizures, I was petty terrified I might get one...........never happened thank God.
.24/7 my brain felt like it had been zapped with a laser, (best way I can describe) it was very uncomfortable and concerning and would not get better or go away...........
....ect ect.....I don't wanna bore u guys and if thread has any success I'll gladly answer Any questions.......


So now current times, and a whole me style of WD, I gonna try and be a living expirement for you here ATS. I just hope I can do so and adhere to the T&C simontaneously. I think I can.

Life has been crazy for me lately, I'm not doing as good as a I should be, but have a strong motivation and a hot fre under my butt keeping me on my toes and moving in the right direction..........

On a positve note I've been an alcoholic for 14 years, this has caused mecountless issues amd so much unneeded and unfair negativity in my life and more importantly in the peoples lives around me. I finally had enough though. Geez. Took me long enough.

I have gone four weeks now without a drop and feel awesome....we're very lucky because this is easy for me, I enjoy this change so much that there is no way in hell I would ever even consider turning back. Plus I'm not having the slightest hint of what u could call a craving.....booze and I are through, I don't see that changing. I like having a stable blood pressure, among the hundreds of other benefits.

So here's the Bummer


And what prompted me to write about WDs in the first place. I'm becoming a bit of an expert, as we all should know,,that's a good thing. Starting tomorrow I and my best friend, someone I would give life for, , she's an incredible human being, an angel walking this earth. Starting tomorrow we are beginning a new chapter one with a unbreakable foundation of sobriety. I'm going to handle the WDs amd prove how it's absoluley possible amd how it doesn't even take that long if you do your best to stay positive and very heathy. Plenty of good hydration amd vitamins too.

I've done this like tem times before, and each time there comes a point where I'm just screwed and will never feel normal again......I'm ready for it and I'm not going to fail! You guys can join me of you want I'm gonna document the progress here...............

Oh yeah, another thing to discuss.

Do you thing a plant based vegan athletic person has a significant advantage over Just your average joe?


Thanks again for reading again, I better try and catch some sleep, were moving to our new apartment tomorrow and are crazy excited! It's a bit cheaper,,same basic size,built waaaaaaaay better, Its like rich man style, aaandn we re gonna live right on a lake....this new place will help tremendously in keeping us clean posotve amd distracted...............


Forgive the ramble, after the first one delete I decide to justwing it. Hope it at least makes,semse



Goodnight all wish us luck

The vegan thing I won't touch except to say nutrition is vital for the previously malnourished when recovering. If you were an alcoholic that alone will cause malnutrition. I'd suggest getting on thiamine large dose and b-complex to balance that out.

Exercise is important for many in recovery, though for some it can exacerbate negative symptoms like anxiety and lethargy. I have 19 months off my DOC. Had to go cold turkey everything except caffeine to do it right. Tried moderation a couple times prior, always ended up back to square one. I had a single drink of alcohol on new years and 5 drinks on July 4th, but stayed off my DOC.

So being a few weeks out, you're passed physical dependence, and can start to enter a stage where you feel invincible, or at least really good about yourself. Enjoy it while it lasts. It's good you're getting a start on making the genuine lifestyle changes, because after the initial high on life stage ceases, you'll be feeling stuck and lonely and those lifestyle changes are what's most needed. So I consider this a proactive mindset, kudos.

3-6 months in many relapse, but if you can make it over a year your chances are good you'll make it much longer. I simply can't imagine my life being compatible with my DOC anymore, so any cravings I still get are momentary and don't last long. Best of luck to you.

I've read a lot about opiate and alcohol withdrawals, along with seeing them first hand. But I have never heard much about Benzo withdrawals, specifically Xanax. I did not realize how much more aggressive they can be.

Thank you for the post and I wish you luck.

Excellent post. An honest one too.

alcohol addiction withdraws are by far the worst withdraws i have ever witnessed. i met a guy in rehab that went through it. the first day was ok, mostly shakes. that night/next day he was hallucinating and was not making any sense. he then spent the next few days in a hospital for the rest of it.
methadone addiction is actually quite common since it gives heroin addicts a crutch to fall back on that is legal and methadone clinics practice maintenance instead of tapering off so they can continue to get paid. horrible practice, but my point being that one could also die from methadone withdraws...
look into Iboga and Ibogaine if you have not heard of it. some amazing stuff forsure.

a reply to: GoShredAK

You WERE not composing the 1st here I hope? If important compose on computer then cut and paste into ATS!

Always!

Still reading....will get back...

a reply to: pl3bscheese
Thanks for the kind and supportive response, I really appreciate.....

So being a few weeks out, you're passed physical dependence, and can start to enter a stage where you feel invincible, or at least really good about yourself. Enjoy it while it lasts. It's good you're getting a start on making the genuine lifestyle changes, because after the initial high on life stage ceases, you'll be feeling stuck and lonely and those lifestyle changes are what's most needed. So I consider this a proactive mindset, kudos.

This part especially resonates so good job! I do feel pretty darn confident and strong especially now I've made it quite a few days. I'm going to harness it and keep the positve momentum going.....not squander it and just lurk stagnant and depressed like I have before........no way. Those days are over.

I find Synchronicity in you mentioning Life changes

I mean obviously quitting drugs and alcohol is a big change that I shared, but I'm also moving into my new apartment which we love! Today. Super stoked

Lol once were settled there and I've 100% detoxed I'm pursuing my new career as a corrections officer........(my dad is a warden at his jail, and he started right about at the same age I am now, so it seems like the most practical choice for me and will enable me to take good care of my fam,,,,,,,

So I agree wholeheartedly, change can be a wonderful new start,,sometimes necessary, I'm without question at a point in life where I must embrace change,

Thanks again

originally posted by: charolais
I've read a lot about opiate and alcohol withdrawals, along with seeing them first hand. But I have never heard much about Benzo withdrawals, specifically Xanax. I did not realize how much more aggressive they can be.

Thank you for the post and I wish you luck.

Oh man, if I can be completely honest, Xanax is the meanest one for sure.

The only reason Xanax would be easier than any of the others would because that individual is very lucky and hasn't reached an extreme level of addiction.

They're so bad because of how they mess with your mind, mainly your emotions, they mess with ur feelings and stuff bad, all the while you're going through physical torment......

My xani withdrawal was pretty heavy, but still minor compared to what they can be.

The physical numb feeling just about drove me insane because it does not go away and there is absolutely no escape

......back,when I drank I tried drinking it away and that just made things worse,,especially when you wake up four hours later still de-toxing plus a little bit of a hangover on top of that.

.......just writing that makes me happy those days are behind me.

It took 100 hours, once I went for the cold turkey. 100 hours for me to feel normal. I know cause I was counting, I couldn't help it.

originally posted by: us3d00
alcohol addiction withdraws are by far the worst withdraws i have ever witnessed. i met a guy in rehab that went through it. the first day was ok, mostly shakes. that night/next day he was hallucinating and was not making any sense. he then spent the next few days in a hospital for the rest of it.
methadone addiction is actually quite common since it gives heroin addicts a crutch to fall back on that is legal and methadone clinics practice maintenance instead of tapering off so they can continue to get paid. horrible practice, but my point being that one could also die from methadone withdraws...
look into Iboga and Ibogaine if you have not heard of it. some amazing stuff forsure.

Agreed, methadone is bad stuff. It is a terrible practice. Completely wrong and they are not helping anybody at all.

Methadone is so very physically addictive that stuff gets in your bones..............I think it's debatable which addiction is worse, heroin or methadone. I don't doubt at all methadone withdraws could also be fatal.

If I ran a clinic I would not use methadone at all. I would very gradually taper my patients down to lower dosages of H at first, then start cycling through opiate pills as well as some very strictly occasional benzodiazepines to help with anxiety amd sleep, the new one always just a bit weaker than the last.

During this whole time we would eat like total health food nazis and everyone would get as much exercise as they can handle......finally when the opiates are at a really low level, we will switch to something natural, like cannabis, or Kava Kava, maybe some other non addictive calming plant I just can't think of.

I think it would work.......unfortunately that wouldn't really benefit anybody except for the addicts that need help.

originally posted by: GoShredAK
However if you act as stupid as I was, it'll be three weeks later and and entire bottle of the legally prescribed bottle of the benzodiazepine Xanax is 100% gone. Huge unspeakable mistake. 2 days later I was hit very hard with a tsunami of extremely unpleasant feelings.

.Skin was strangely numb
.so incredibly regretful and depressed
.really week, I lost a lot of muscle during that time
.my neck became progressively more and more tight and painful to move.
.all kinds of weird little brain twitches (I was trying so hard to to think about seizures, I was petty terrified I might get one...........never happened thank God.
.24/7 my brain felt like it had been zapped with a laser, (best way I can describe) it was very uncomfortable and concerning and would not get better or go away...........
....ect ect.....I don't wanna bore u guys and if thread has any success I'll gladly answer Any questions.......

You were fortunate my friend. The most messed up thing is that the Dr's prescribing the stuff, often times to young people, don't say much at all in detail about how nasty this stuff is, maybe just that "it can be addicting", lol. Try mind shattering. Oh yeah, with all of this talk of Alcohol, you know that Alcohol and Benzodiazepines are cross-tolerant, right? Likewise with Barbiturates and certain sleeping medications. Taking one of any while in withdrawal from any can bring temporary relief, isn't that sick?

Alprazolam has a short half-life, so the receptors eventually rebound after the terrible WD. Clonazepam and Valium have very long half lives; up to a couple of days. If you've taken one of those daily for years, then stop, you experience the symptoms you just described, and worse, coming and going for months. After 1 full year of not taking that medication, if you were on it that long, you still won't feel normal, comfortable, or like your old self. It took me about 2 years after being legally prescribed a long-acting benzodiazepine for anxiety for about 6 years to even begin to get even close to normal. But I was an idiot and tried to quit cold turkey several times before finally tapering, then feeling like I quit cold turkey anyway, but by then I had made it too far and life situations called for me to see it through.

Never quite made it all the way back to normal, and it's been 3 years now. A range of nerve-pains, come and go anxiety, terrible stomach acid problems, etc. Some of the ills I experience now aren't necessarily from that, but it sure feels like it. Interestingly, battling the anxiety with healthy life practices (forcing yourself through the anxiety and embarrassment) has required me to really psyche myself out over time, thinking of new ways to be/think/act, and forcing myself to go through with seemingly any task even if the mere thought of it is making my heart race.

The truly saddest part is that while I typically only drink beer and wine, I never used to before that happened. And worse, my Father was a bit of an alcoholic so I think that system of my brain (GABA receptors) was a little shoddy to begin with, thus anxiety problems my entire life. I started drinking after about a year and a half of being in protracted, long term benzodiazepine withdrawal... because I needed to be able to function, rest, and most importantly, think clearly. Isn't that messed up. Even with sleeping medication, I'd typically only sleep for 3 to 5 hours at a time, wake right up back into hell mode.

So, I'm either learning things I never would've learned in a life of being medicated, or..
I'm slowly going mad from the whole thing. or..
I hurt my nervous system by quitting and now have some neurological damages akin to Multiple Sclerosis or..
All of the above.

It's the gaba receptors that barbituates and alcohol both hit. GABA inhibits the CNS. When you build tolerance to drugs that hit the GABA receptor hard, you're down regulating them so that your baseline while intoxicated all the time levels out as they should be. When you take away the drug, that baseline shifts and the upregulation takes a while to take in effect. This time period between upregulation and withdrawal of substance is where the hallucinations and potential cardiac arrest can happen.

When dealing with alcohol dependence the barbituates are there to titrate you down and not all at once take you off for your own safety. You then can incrementally upregulate. This does backfire on some and they choose to abuse the barbituates and become dependent. I think it's a bit of a guessing game to know how fast to ween someone off. Too fast and you risk the same as going cold turkey, and too slow you risk dependence. Then you have the fact that everyone's system is different, and will react at different rates.

originally posted by: pl3bscheese
Then you have the fact that everyone's system is different, and will react at different rates.

And that you're purely miserable and unable to safely perform your daily tasks any longer. So your life falls apart around you and the only way to instantly save it is to relapse onto your "medication" again to be normal enough to handle things. Then, when you try to ween, if you've got it real bad, you'll feel every single reduction as if it were a withdrawal itself, even if you do only one every two weeks. How so many functional people with families and/or important jobs and lives get prescribed this stuff across the board blows my mind. Especially middle aged mothers, good grief. If the world froze over and no one could get the xanax prescription, the fabric of our society would break down and people would be stark raving mad.

I felt like I was dying, while the doctor who was prescribing it to me was acting utterly ignorant to what I was going through, almost as if I was heavily exaggerating or making it up. I had to argue for a longer ween period, while he was saying just reduce every couple of days, then stop like nothing happened. What a joke!

a reply to: r0xor

Well I'm 19 months sober from my DOC, and don't feel normal. Sleep is still very erratic, but I'm hopeful it'll start to balance out after the two year mark. I've heard the vast majority get their receptors fully up-regulated by that time period. I still have anxiety that hits, but am afforded a lifestyle that allows me to walk off from most situations, and rebalance myself. I can imagine people would be compelled back into some form of addiction if they had a pressing life situation with a lot of demands. Feel for you.

originally posted by: pl3bscheese
I've heard the vast majority get their receptors fully up-regulated by that time period. I still have anxiety that hits, but am afforded a lifestyle that allows me to walk off from most situations, and rebalance myself. I can imagine people would be compelled back into some form of addiction if they had a pressing life situation with a lot of demands. Feel for you.

It sounds like you're a beast in your own right, 19 months? Awesome.

Yeah it's quite messed up; I used to read several recovery forums with people just horrified, then others so hell bent on quitting that they convince themselves of unrealistic recovery times and other wishful thinking. I personally think high-level benzodiazepine use can cause permanent brain damage, just like many substances, but the damage being a nervous system and GABA receptor modulation damage. (This is my OPINION.. from experience)

I gave up on feeling like my old self a long time ago; it was a fantasy that I was holding on to so that I wouldn't cope with reality being as terrible as it was, is, or will be. This is me now, and forever. Can't wait around and "heal" forever while doing nothing constructive or advancing in any area, telling myself that it'll be easier and feel so peaceful like it used to be .. that I just have to keep waiting, so that I never learn coping mechanisms.

If I'm depressed as well as anxious, as well as being in a terrible living situation, and the worse thing I do is drink beer (while I used to be prescribed multiple narcotics for years), you should be happy for me, very happy for me; don't feel for me. Battles were fought, damages were taken, and the victories have been gained.

My life isn't going to end if I don't have a beer -- to the contrary, my life very well could have literally ended from being under the immense withdrawals. I almost view a low % alcohol drink on a level with caffeine drinks, just quite opposite of effect. Would you feel bad for me if I was hopelessly lost in a life of coffee drinking?

originally posted by: GoShredAK
And what prompted me to write about WDs in the first place. I'm becoming a bit of an expert, as we all should know,,that's a good thing. Starting tomorrow I and my best friend, someone I would give life for, , she's an incredible human being, an angel walking this earth. Starting tomorrow we are beginning a new chapter one with a unbreakable foundation of sobriety. I'm going to handle the WDs amd prove how it's absoluley possible amd how it doesn't even take that long if you do your best to stay positive and very heathy. Plenty of good hydration amd vitamins too.

If you're capable of doing it like that, it sounds like you're not in too deep yet for it to crush you completely. Stop and stay far, far, away, and treat Doctors with reasonable suspicion for your own sake of health of mind, body, and spirit. They aren't you and they can't know how you feel, even though they think that going to college means they can read minds.

A few days of benzo-related or GABA-related withdrawals isn't too bad if it isn't too severe, it's actually a nice wake up call, because it irritates your brain receptors just enough to feel like a rare type of very bad crap that you dont usually get to experience too often in life; it can open your eyes.

a reply to: r0xor

That probably came off the wrong way. My bad. Well I don't see recovery or addiction as a black and white deal, and try to keep it real. You're a success in my book. Simply improving from where you were and keeping perspective is where it's at.

I long ago accepted that we're crazy hairless apes, and that I'll never be the same as I was say in high school. I've been in a car wreck that took the jaws of life to get me out, had concussions elsewhere, splat the ground blue faced after directly sucking off the helium tank for a brief moment, came back from alcohol induced hepatitis, next to no vocab, stuttering sober fool... yea so I've had to retrain my brain more than a couple of times. Just keep adapting. This life was never guaranteed to be anything but hard. Sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders.

I take time for scream therapy, letting anger out, allow myself to feel depressed for a bit, but channel that back into a will to improve. Work with what you got, not against... sounds like you figured that out a while ago. No point in denying all that bad, just put it to use in one way or another. Congrats.

originally posted by: GoShredAK
The only reason Xanax would be easier than any of the others would because that individual is very lucky and hasn't reached an extreme level of addiction.
They're so bad because of how they mess with your mind, mainly your emotions, they mess with ur feelings and stuff bad, all the while you're going through physical torment......
My xani withdrawal was pretty heavy, but still minor compared to what they can be.
It took 100 hours, once I went for the cold turkey. 100 hours for me to feel normal. I know cause I was counting, I couldn't help it.

Yikes, okay, read carefully my brotha. 100 hours was a God send. Get far, far away and never look back. When I was about 20yrs old, I went onto legally prescribed alprazolam 3 to 4mg a day, for a month. Perhaps a few extra were taken during that time, but I had no concept of WD; utterly ignorant to the whole thing. THAT FIRST TIME .. took about 100 hours..

If you quit for a few months and do it again for even a week straight, you'll catch another 100 hours of it at the least. Your brain never completely forgets.

originally posted by: pl3bscheese
came back from alcohol induced hepatitis, next to no vocab, stuttering sober fool... yea so I've had to retrain my brain more than a couple of times. Just keep adapting. This life was never guaranteed to be anything but hard. Sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders.

Work with what you got, not against... sounds like you figured that out a while ago. No point in denying all that bad, just put it to use in one way or another. Congrats.

Truer word never spoken

That's also exemplary; I lost a lot of temporary cognitive ability when I was in my worst times, and I was afraid it was permanent. The scary thing is, a lot of the truly stupid bumbling idiots in the world never figured out that they could retrain their brain and mind, and just kind of went along with it.

I'll go so far as to say.. even saying stupid things just to incur the reaction is a form of anxiety self-therapy. I mean, come on guys .. and you know!

originally posted by: r0xor

originally posted by: GoShredAK
However if you act as stupid as I was, it'll be three weeks later and and entire bottle of the legally prescribed bottle of the benzodiazepine Xanax is 100% gone. Huge unspeakable mistake. 2 days later I was hit very hard with a tsunami of extremely unpleasant feelings.

.Skin was strangely numb
.so incredibly regretful and depressed
.really week, I lost a lot of muscle during that time
.my neck became progressively more and more tight and painful to move.
.all kinds of weird little brain twitches (I was trying so hard to to think about seizures, I was petty terrified I might get one...........never happened thank God.
.24/7 my brain felt like it had been zapped with a laser, (best way I can describe) it was very uncomfortable and concerning and would not get better or go away...........
....ect ect.....I don't wanna bore u guys and if thread has any success I'll gladly answer Any questions.......

You were fortunate my friend. The most messed up thing is that the Dr's prescribing the stuff, often times to young people, don't say much at all in detail about how nasty this stuff is, maybe just that "it can be addicting", lol. Try mind shattering. Oh yeah, with all of this talk of Alcohol, you know that Alcohol and Benzodiazepines are cross-tolerant, right? Likewise with Barbiturates and certain sleeping medications. Taking one of any while in withdrawal from any can bring temporary relief, isn't that sick?

Alprazolam has a short half-life, so the receptors eventually rebound after the terrible WD. Clonazepam and Valium have very long half lives; up to a couple of days. If you've taken one of those daily for years, then stop, you experience the symptoms you just described, and worse, coming and going for months. After 1 full year of not taking that medication, if you were on it that long, you still won't feel normal, comfortable, or like your old self. It took me about 2 years after being legally prescribed a long-acting benzodiazepine for anxiety for about 6 years to even begin to get even close to normal. But I was an idiot and tried to quit cold turkey several times before finally tapering, then feeling like I quit cold turkey anyway, but by then I had made it too far and life situations called for me to see it through.

Never quite made it all the way back to normal, and it's been 3 years now. A range of nerve-pains, come and go anxiety, terrible stomach acid problems, etc. Some of the ills I experience now aren't necessarily from that, but it sure feels like it. Interestingly, battling the anxiety with healthy life practices (forcing yourself through the anxiety and embarrassment) has required me to really psyche myself out over time, thinking of new ways to be/think/act, and forcing myself to go through with seemingly any task even if the mere thought of it is making my heart race.

The truly saddest part is that while I typically only drink beer and wine, I never used to before that happened. And worse, my Father was a bit of an alcoholic so I think that system of my brain (GABA receptors) was a little shoddy to begin with, thus anxiety problems my entire life. I started drinking after about a year and a half of being in protracted, long term benzodiazepine withdrawal... because I needed to be able to function, rest, and most importantly, think clearly. Isn't that messed up. Even with sleeping medication, I'd typically only sleep for 3 to 5 hours at a time, wake right up back into hell mode.

So, I'm either learning things I never would've learned in a life of being medicated, or..
I'm slowly going mad from the whole thing. or..
I hurt my nervous system by quitting and now have some neurological damages akin to Multiple Sclerosis or..
All of the above.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this reply. I see a lot of good advice in there, i feel like I need to read to a few times to fully grasp it all.

I really appreciate talking with someone who knows what it's like to have panic disorder level anxiety and is aware of how it's easier to get prescribed poison that actually creates a mental illness that wasn't even there in the first place..................I truly witnessed first hand, several times how corrupt they can be.

One quick example of many: during the same time period when I was actively working on a self managed taper from Pristiq . I went to a new mental health specialist, just hoping for a second opinion, and I was still so anxious all of the time I was still hoping someone would be able to help me. (eventually I learned it was up to me and myself alone, a very valuable realization.) of course this new guy would be no help. Im not exaggerating in the slightest...I talked to this man for no more than five minutes amd that's all it took for him to officially diagnose me bi-polar amd severely depressed..........uhhhh ya ok.....not.........

So he prescribed me a drug that I believe was called lithium carbonate.......it's basically some some sort of gnarly salt derivative that is meant for people with true debilitating mental illness. Not a 19 year old who doesn't understand his anxiety and occasional panic........(once I learned what was happening to me,,it took some time but I healed myself, 100% med free..........This is why I'm so passionate about this subject......so sorry if I'm all over the place.......I'm just typing these thoughts as they come...........

Anyway, back to the lithium carbonate that he gave me for free in a sample pack (I may be wrong but I have a suspicion that when they're giving out sample packs, it means they're getting compensated for prescribing the certain med because big pharma wants their newest drug out. Somebody is getting kick downs, while many others are suffering from something they thought was supposed to help..........greedy amd evil are my nice adjectives for them.......

So with lithium carbonate there is apparently a very very margin of how much of the drug should be in your system. If the successfully get you to that very precise level, the drug will then be therapeutic. I little bit too much or too little, your condition may worsen and they over shoot the mark by just a little bit it can be fatal..........0h no, no,worries you read that right, Fatal..............you would think this a very important fact to share with a patient? I guess not tho because I learned all about the lithium on google along with several other web sites.......lithium therapy requires weekly bloodtests too. No Thanks,..........
.hmmmmm, thanks for the info doc. Lol

Needless to I did not touch that nasty stuff, and oh yeah! I'm not bi-polar! Lol never was. I'm loving hard working family man, with am amxiety disorder that I've learned to handle naturally, and with my own mind.

Healthy diet, positive thoughts and exercise truly work for anybody whomis capable, I have defeated so many mental challenges using those tools.

Here I am, several years later, 28 years of age, zero meds, physically in shape amd strong. Mentally stronger than I've ever been. My main issue now smo need to,get my addictive personality in check .......which im currently striving towards and kicking butt at it.................

a reply to: GoShredAK

Good honest post OP I really liked it.......Opiate WD are the real deal.