Two Questions for Transgender people

a reply to: solarjetman
So are you saying you wouldn't go out with JadeStar?

I'm just teasing but you either need glasses or maybe you are gay?

originally posted by: TrueBrit
That must have been a difficult thing to weigh up in your mind the first time you dealt with such a thing. I cannot imagine how tricky that must have been. Balancing ones need to be comfortable and happy, with the need to get that conversation out of the way must have put you over the wrack something awful. I am glad it worked out for you!

It's a tricky, scary and nervous thing to weigh the first time, second time, third time.... tenth time.

I didn't really want to count any higher but if you take away the 11 years I was a faithful married woman, I've still had 29 to try and figure out when the best time to have that conversation is and I still don't know. I do know a couple drinks helps sometimes.

a reply to: solarjetman

I have a question myself:

OP......would you be repulsed if you found out she was a hermaphrodite that chose to be female instead of male?

She was a female after all...

I don't even think of ya'll as the slightest bit unusual. I mean, I am a woman who got breast implants because it made me happy with my self confidence and body image - I see absolutely no difference. And I don't feel the need to disclose it before kissing a guy. LOL

I do, however, really feel for the families who have middle aged parents or spouses transitioning. It seems to me to be a really difficult thing to work through emotionally, for everybody involved.

I guess it wasn't accepted back in the day and people who identified with a different gender all their lives felt like they had to "fake it till you make it" in order to get along in society. It is such a shame we classify people as "them" instead of us all just being "us".

a reply to: tothetenthpower

That sounds like something you should discuss. OR if you want to have casual sex without getting to know a person first, that's a risk that YOU take personally, doesn't have anything to do with the other person.

Man I really disagree with you there. That's a pretty big deal for most people. I really think it's on the transgender person to inform a potential partner before the sexy times.

I'm having trouble coming up with a fair comparison that doesn't sound as if I'm trying to blast a person's gender identity or compare it to something inherently bad... I was going to say that someone with a venereal disease ought to be informing a potential partner. Let's say that it's more like a married person getting into a relationship without divulging their relationship status. Some people don't care about dating a married person, but others are deeply against the idea, even if it's an open marriage.

I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't. I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man, even if everything about the person is now super feminine. I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

It's not like a brunette who has her hair dyed. It's not like a pushup bra.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

Knowledge is the key here, there are so many "Myths" and Untruths about the GLBTQ+ community, and also Genderfluid etc. that open discussion and dialog is important. but it has to be Open minded and not shaming and insulting...

I think many people have Questions and some are afraid to ask because they don't want to offend someone, or don't exactly know how to ask.

There are some Trans People that are open about it, and some that don't discuss it or bring it up, i don't know if you can say one is "Right" or "Wrong" because it's a personal choice.

a reply to: Darth_Prime

As for questions:

I think questions are great as long as they are genuine.

For example: when I came out as gay to my parents, the first 6 months I had a conversation with my mother I would get at least 10 questions per conversation.

I was honest and now I have a GREAT relationship with my parents.

originally posted by: IslandOfMisfitToys
a reply to: solarjetman

I have a question myself:

OP......would you be repulsed if you found out she was a hermaphrodite that chose to be female instead of male?

She was a female after all...

Everyone was female if you go back far enough.

a reply to: IslandOfMisfitToys

Exactly, honest genuine questions...

i actually like people asking me questions (if they are Genuine) i'm completely Open with My Gay and Genderfluidity as you can tell

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

Um, but I never said you weren't a woman, just that you and I in the context of that other thread would be viewed differently based on the policy change that was being discussed.

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

Um, but I never said you weren't a woman, just that you and I in the context of that other thread would be viewed differently based on the policy change that was being discussed.

Thats kind of the same thing, I mean you did agree about being uncomfortable in the nude around someone like me and I find that silly and demeaning to me and the "in between" as we were called.

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

Um, but I never said you weren't a woman, just that you and I in the context of that other thread would be viewed differently based on the policy change that was being discussed.

Thats kind of the same thing, I mean you did agree about being uncomfortable in the nude around someone like me and I find that silly and demeaning to me and the "in between" as we were called.

I said I'd be uncomfortable in the nude around a non-op transgender woman who was not discrete about her difference. I assume you are discrete therefore I'd probably be ok around you.

Um can we please continue this via U2U? It's kinda off topic.

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

Um, but I never said you weren't a woman, just that you and I in the context of that other thread would be viewed differently based on the policy change that was being discussed.

Thats kind of the same thing, I mean you did agree about being uncomfortable in the nude around someone like me and I find that silly and demeaning to me and the "in between" as we were called.

I said I'd be uncomfortable in the nude around a non-op transgender woman who was not discrete about her difference. I assume you are discrete therefore I'd probably be ok around you.

Um can we please continue this via U2U? It's kinda off topic.

Oh but it is on topic since we are talking about our equipment and isn't that what always has everyone in a bother?

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: Domo1
a reply to: tothetenthpower
I consider it lying to present yourself as being born biologically female if you weren't.

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

What next a scarlet letter T?

And no one is lying by not telling if not asked

I am personally not interested in anyone that was born a man,

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

even if everything about the person is now super feminine.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

I don't at all begrudge people for feeling the way they do, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who was born with a penis. It may be ignorance, but that should be up to me.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

Yeah, you put yourself at risk for a whole bunch of things if you're cavalier in your relationships and sleep around. That doesn't mean it's OK for people to lie. It doesn't excuse it. Presenting yourself as biologically female when you aren't is lying by omission about something serious. People that are trans* are NOT the norm, and I don't think anyone should be expected to inquire about it.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

On account of genitalia I don't believe this is accurate and I believe you said as much to me in different words, remember? Remember how I am different and not a woman because I have a penis which you were born with? Tsk tsk all the double standards around here.

Um, but I never said you weren't a woman, just that you and I in the context of that other thread would be viewed differently based on the policy change that was being discussed.

Thats kind of the same thing, I mean you did agree about being uncomfortable in the nude around someone like me and I find that silly and demeaning to me and the "in between" as we were called.

I said I'd be uncomfortable in the nude around a non-op transgender woman who was not discrete about her difference. I assume you are discrete therefore I'd probably be ok around you.

Um can we please continue this via U2U? It's kinda off topic.

Oh but it is on topic since we are talking about our equipment and isn't that what always has everyone in a bother?

I did say please.

a reply to: Domo1

How is it a lie to have your body match what you are in your mind? How is it a lie if no one asks? Are you now going to go around asking every prospective woman you date if they were "once a man?"

Good luck with that....

a reply to: TrappedPrincess

Knock it off. Take it to U2Us like she politely asked.

a reply to: JadeStar

First of all last I checked our brain is biological. I was always female up there, you know, where it counts.

Last I checked you all claim that sex isn't the same as gender. If you were born biologically male, you were born biologically male, regardless of what you think you are and your brain chemistry. If you were born with a functioning penis and think you're female you are clearly abnormal, and instead of being a pain in the ass it's easier to say that you were born with male genitalia and a female brain. You may identify as a woman, but when you were born your were physically male. If you identify as transgender you are saying that your genitals and your brain don't match, otherwise you would just be normal.

I have spent my first six years having that ignored because of a fluke. So you're saying that the first 6 years are more important than the last 14?!

I'm saying that you were born with a penis, and that I am not attracted to people who are born with a penis. I'm also not attracted to people that are born with a vagina and identify as men.

No one is born a man. *facepalm* *help*

Don't be intentionally obtuse, you know exactly what I meant. If you think I'm ignorant, perhaps it's better to explain and not act like an ass.

I notice you used person rather than girl or woman. Why?

Because I don't consider someone that was born with male genitalia and a mental disease a woman. You may be female in your brain, but that isn't the same as being an authentic genuine female. If you were, there wouldn't need to any any distinctions. You wouldn't call yourself trans*, you would call yourself a woman.

You have been a little ignorant, that's true.

And you've been incredibly condescending and unhelpful. I'm trying to understand and be accepting, and explain my personal feelings and you just laugh it off, share no knowledge and basically reinforce all the negative stereotypes about transgender people being crazy, unrealistic people that act like assholes to anyone that doesn't agree with them totally.

We are not lying and biologically our brains are the gender we present. That's been proven in multiple studies.

You're certainly lying if you fail to inform your partner that you are not what the vast majority of people considers to be an authentic woman, someone with a female brain born with female parts. If you are born with the wrong parts for your brain, and you alter or hide your physical parts, you are certainly lying by omission if you don't inform a potential sex partner.

Very disappointed with anyone that thinks it's acceptable to lie for sex. Say I was born with a penis but I consider myself a woman mentally, that's telling the truth. Presenting as a 100% woman physically is lying.

a reply to: Kojiro

In most cases, you wouldn't even know. At all. There's no "right to know" if the person doesn't want to share that information with you.

Uhm, I'm having a hard time seeing how not disclosing the truth of your transformation to someone you are about to get intimidite with as not being irresponsible, dangerous, selfish, and uncaring for the well being of themselves and the other person who they are getting intimite with.

While you are correct that everyone SHOULD accept you as you are as long as you are not hurting others, that is not the reality of the world today. In addition, you could be hurting the other person.

There are many people that would not be able to cope very well with finding out the truth as the OP suggested. They could act out violently towards you, or even suicidal themselves with not being able to cope with the truth or have other psychological problems.

Just from reading some of the posts here and and the other thread I can safely assume that even a person who has made the transformation themselves likely didn't fully understand or accept it overnight. It appears that many parents and friends even needed time to come to terms with it and fully accept it and understand it.

So hiding this from a person you become intimidate with than walking away and leaving them to come to terms with it by themself is also irresponsible, dangerous, selfish, and uncaring for the well being of themselves and the other person who they are getting intimite with.