Two Questions for Transgender people

originally posted by: EKron
a reply to: Annee

I have no idea what it is like out there today and am probably glad I don't but it is unlikely that things will ever be like they were during those times. All I can say is we've seen and lived through some very interesting days.

You had alcohol and blow. We have alcohol and molly. Everything else sounds about the same, lol.

Oh one scary thing you didn't have to deal with were ruffies. Now a lot of places have a little card/coaster to test your drink to make sure it hasn't been tampered with.

originally posted by: EKron

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess
After sitting here and reading all the back and forth about "to disclose or not disclose" I must say that I am a bit conflicted. On the one hand I believe that it is the right thing for us to do prior to any sex or serious relationship, definitely not on the first date and certainly not upon first meeting. I do however understand some T-womens fear and reluctance to do so as the male's reaction could be explosive and violent. In that regard though I would ask if you truly thought there was even a remote chance that the male would act that way is he someone you really want to be with?

"Disclosure" - The aliens have landed and we are them!

Seriously, if we take the whole trans* crap out and when/what to tell out of this for a minute, being cautious, smart and safe and spending some time getting to know someone is good advice for your daughters and all girls and women. Yeah, the trans* thing turns the danger level up to 11 but it's not like other women don't need to be careful too especially in this day of Internet dating and hookups. Good general advice there, TP.

Exactly. I mean a lot of people just hook up over Skype and there is a dating site for just about any kind of person you can imagine. People can be a lot more selective in who they meet or hook up with prior to the actual date but the danger is always there for ALL women.

I was still fairly shy and quiet and hadn't automatically become a social butterfly but was reasonably attractive, a bit trashy/sexy, loved to party and had plenty of opportunities for getting laid but for the most part was a nice girl. If it wasn't for all this disclosure stuff and a little distrust or fear of most men in the first place, I would have slept around a lot more than I did.

It's never too late embrace your sexuality, just do so responsibly. Wasn't that part of what the Riot Grrl thing was about?

Can I say there weren't a few drunken coked or tripped out times I didn't have a casual one night sort of encounter when I didn't say anything? No but only just a couple because that was just kind of a thing then and sex was easy but I quickly learned to have a little more respect for myself and worked more toward relationships which did involve having "the talk". There's a fair amount of outright rejection involved.

It's a little different in that respect today. During that time when my longtime boyfriend and I agreed to see other people briefly I told you I dated a couple other guys who I told like right away on the first date. They didn't reject me. One even went so far as to lean in and kiss me before i could finish asking if he was ok with it.

What I didn't mention was I stealth dated another guy and slept with him after those two because idk, i was like "if it didn't matter to the other two and they told me they'd have never known if i hadn't told them then why not just not tell right away?"

I left out the third guy from most of our conversations on this issue because I felt i'd be judged harshly but it really was as simple as this: We worked together, met at work, had lunch together on a regular basis, was asked out a few times and went dancing, had a few drinks and eventually back to his place.

I kinda knew we would not have a long term relationship but I also wanted to feel what it was like to just be normal.

I also ran the risk that if I told him it would get out at work, etc. So I didn't. I guess i'm an evil alien girl in some people's eyes.

The fact is today not all sex is about a relationship. Guys often expect sex on the first date. It's not like the 1960s anymore.

I actually wish that aspect of traditional American society came back a little. I think girls are pressured for sex WAY too early in a relationship and WAY too early in general. It's not healthy.

I've lived alone and been uninvolved the last six years and that's unlikely to change mostly due to having to go through the whole spiel about something from 40 years ago and just not wanting to deal with it. I drive a 33 year old car and tinker on it a bit myself to keep it running and have been in the corner auto parts store 3 or 4 times in the last few months where this older good looking tattoo sleeved big bear of a guy has gotten fairly dang flirty and I've thought about it but nah, not worth the hassle.

Awwwww... *hug* i can't say that i blame you. It is a hassle and i can only imagine for a lot of people your age and older this issue is still a very hard thing to deal with.

I do think I might need to go get an air filter or spring or something though?

Do it! Flirt back! There's little harm in a little harmless innuendo. We all want to feel wanted, pretty, attractive and desirable. Even if you have no plans to hook up with him, he can still fulfill that need.

originally posted by: JadeStar
I just wanted to thank you Ekron for sharing more of your personal backstory with ATS now. I can totally imagine you in your teens and at my age now. That's why i posted that one girl in the t-shirt with the blond hair. I thought you probably kinda looked like her back then.

You have lived quite the life and I am glad that you are sharing it with us

*hug*

Thank you, ma'am!

Yeah, I was going to reuse your picture as that did do a good job of capturing the vibe I had going. I just took a look at the second one I posted above and whether it's the sideways glance or what but I get a lot of eff off if you don't like me attitude and that was so much me then and had been. I could be a real bitch on wheels when it was called for.

I approached that post about my teen years from a slightly different perspective to see if made any more sense or generated different responses. Other than use all the tropes like "felt like a girl", "gender identity", "wrong body" and such, maybe just going into who I was would be easier to understand? Yeah, I was a "boy" then but I was never a boy if that makes any sense? There was never any way I was going to grow up and be a man and no way to go back to being anything other than myself

originally posted by: JadeStar
Do it! Flirt back! There's little harm in a little harmless innuendo. We all want to feel wanted, pretty, attractive and desirable. Even if you have no plans to hook up with him, he can still fulfill that need.

Don't worry, I did flirt back! And yes, it can be quite validating and flattering.

I think maybe I said I only find something like 1-in-10 20 guys attractive or can see myself being with. This guy would be one of those ones on a purely physical/looks level. Not being totally superficial, he does seem really nice and funny too.

Probably married?

a reply to: EKron

Oh, they're almost certainly always married. The common trick is to take off the wedding ring and hide it in a pocket.

originally posted by: Kojiro
a reply to: EKron

Oh, they're almost certainly always married. The common trick is to take off the wedding ring and hide it in a pocket.

That's why we got our rings tattooed on us. We'd have to cut off our fingers or wear gloves to hide it, heh heh. That's not really why we did it but it's a fun bonus to tell people.

a reply to: Cuervo

Kinda off topic, but your spying on Beezzer location is hilarious, I was just in a thread with him; there must be some history there

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
a reply to: Cuervo

Kinda off topic, but your spying on Beezzer location is hilarious, I was just in a thread with him; there must be some history there

There's really not and it's not even an inside joke. I just know he lives over here and I was just seeing if he'd ever notice. You were first, heh heh.

Also, my avatar totally looks like some bunny tracking is going on in the woods.

originally posted by: JadeStar

originally posted by: EKron
a reply to: Annee

I have no idea what it is like out there today and am probably glad I don't but it is unlikely that things will ever be like they were during those times. All I can say is we've seen and lived through some very interesting days.

Oh one scary thing you didn't have to deal with were ruffies. Now a lot of places have a little card/coaster to test your drink to make sure it hasn't been tampered with.

And people always thought I was crazy cuz I kept my drink in a baby bottle. There's some really cute baby bottles out there. Doesn't work so well with beer, but does float in the pool

Soooooo...have any of you checked out the thread about the dead "alien hybrid" guy with crazy amounts of guns and ammo? The most recent post in that thread states that the father of said deceased "alien hybrid" was a urologist and this is the interesting part, a pioneer in SRS especially male to female. *que spooky music* maybe we are aliens...bum bum bum lol.


P.S. word to the wise, some of you folk should be nicer to us before we start breaking out the ray guns.

originally posted by: TrappedPrincess
Soooooo...have any of you checked out the thread about the dead "alien hybrid" guy with crazy amounts of guns and ammo? The most recent post in that thread states that the father of said deceased "alien hybrid" was a urologist and this is the interesting part, a pioneer in SRS especially male to female. *que spooky music* maybe we are aliens...bum bum bum lol.

P.S. word to the wise, some of you folk should be nicer to us before we start breaking out the ray guns.

Several cultures have suggested such things. And it's worth noting that the Mesopotamian religions people look to for the Ancient Astronaut stuff had Transgender priestesses and several Gods, the Dogon people who had such surprising astronomical knowledge of the star Sirius say their ancestors were hermaphrodite beings that came from that star. Several cultures say that the spirits of people who are destined to be Shaman come from a different source in the sky to other people's souls and of course traditionally in most of the worlds Indigenous and Ancient cultures Transgender people are Shaman, Priests/Priestesses, Sorcerers, Witches etc.

a reply to: Bayne

Incidentally, you'll notice "pili pili priestess" under my name. In a hymn to Inanna (whom I follow), it describes a process in which she grants what is essentially a divine SRS to her priest and priestess. They were called PiliPili (not to be confused with the Gala priests).

Crazy thing is that I've been following that pantheon for years and never understood that hymn until after I decided to confront my issues. It's great to have such spiritual confirmation for such a difficult thing.

a reply to: Cuervo

Indeed!
It's surprising how many of us will find our way to such things and discover that truths have been under our noses for years.

originally posted by: Kojiro
a reply to: pompel9

You're either going a long way at being obtuse, or you really cannot comprehend the intricacies of language. Perhaps English is not your first language? My mind does not match the body I was born with, ergo a deformity has taken place. It is a deformity to be placed in the wrong body.

With yourself, if you identify as male, the body you were born with, you have no such problem.

You are the second one that calls me obtuse. If you are trying to offend me, then you have certainly succeed.

First you call men deformed (and, yes I am a man), then you call me obtuse and further insult me by telling me I have no clue about language.

I certainly had a lot of sympathy for the condition transpersons have. But this kind of behavior have put me off. Not sure if I have any more sympathy towards you or other people that have similar condition if this is the what I can expect from you and them.

I am sorry to say that.

a reply to: pompel9

Considering that I have more than clearly stated several times over what I meant by the "deformed" comment and you're still pushing the very erroneous understanding that I somehow allegedly am applying it to all men makes it clear that you are not actually here for serious debate. Any further post from you will be ignored, because I feel I have sufficiently explained myself.

a reply to: Kojiro

"...even OB/GYNs can be fooled."

When I get an exam, my gyno also palpates my abdomen to feel check my uterus and ovaries, and also scrapes the cervix for the Pap smear, so unless they are constructing all that, it's a poor gyno who can't tell the difference. I'd look for a new gyno ASAP!

a reply to: new_here

Well, I'm not quite there yet. Nevertheless, there is testimony that it has happened. I think someone even supplied a link a while back. But thanks for the advice at least.

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: Kojiro

"...even OB/GYNs can be fooled."

When I get an exam, my gyno also palpates my abdomen to feel check my uterus and ovaries, and also scrapes the cervix for the Pap smear, so unless they are constructing all that, it's a poor gyno who can't tell the difference. I'd look for a new gyno ASAP!

All I know is that it's not that uncommon for a post-op transwoman to have to disclose her medical history to the OBGYN when things start to not add up. I've heard it a few times. The doctor normally assumes something else like a hysterectomy or other procedures.

It's a testament to talented surgeons, for sure.

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: Kojiro

"...even OB/GYNs can be fooled."

When I get an exam, my gyno also palpates my abdomen to feel check my uterus and ovaries, and also scrapes the cervix for the Pap smear, so unless they are constructing all that, it's a poor gyno who can't tell the difference. I'd look for a new gyno ASAP!

Really? I've never had that in my entire 68 years. Unless, there was an issue which was determined by questioning me.

Every Gyno I've had asks my permission to do more, like a Pap smear. They don't just do it.

originally posted by: Annee

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: Kojiro

"...even OB/GYNs can be fooled."

When I get an exam, my gyno also palpates my abdomen to feel check my uterus and ovaries, and also scrapes the cervix for the Pap smear, so unless they are constructing all that, it's a poor gyno who can't tell the difference. I'd look for a new gyno ASAP!

Really? I've never had that in my entire 68 years. Unless, there was an issue which was determined by questioning me.

Every Gyno I've had asks my permission to do more, like a Pap smear. They don't just do it.

Not sure where you live, but an annual pap smear/pelvic exam is WHY we go to the gyno in these parts (...well, unless you're pregnant then of course you go for that reason!)