Scientific Dating Advice for Women

Perhaps some of the perception of the things women want from a man is that he is CONFIDENT, as that is generally a deciding factor of ability to provide and protect as part of the intrinsic qualities that we have evolution to thank for.

Due to plenty of men being basically loudmouth jerks, even the nice guys have to show a level of 'I can take on those guys' in terms of confidence, which often translates as mouthing off or talking a certain way that shows they can handle other guys and can be part of the pack.

Most nice guys realise that early on. They sometimes alter their personalities to 'fit in' as a way of avoiding being bullied by meat head idiots.

Google Russel Brand / Ed Milliband kitchen interview for a 'grown up' example.

a reply to: Cancerwarrior

It's all in the eyes.

My trick which isn't as such is to be a nice guy, just as a base stat.. That's scoring 0.
everyone should be nice..

I got turned down all the first few times for me as well. Then I stopped asking and started inviting instead. There is a distinction here that you have to know I can't explain that. It's like a question put on a table, and you let it sit there. Asking is like putting it on the table and then watching the persons eyes and trying to eye ask..

If I want to be noticed I'll just look past you over your shoulder, but to the point you know I am trying to "check you out" without you seeing. Oops caught me. Have a buddy sit at the end of a bar, and you at the end of the next bar over.. Whenever someone comes into a bar the other guy should hit on, you send the text out.. Then your friend walks in, you stand up at the bar and say hey Jack over hear man! The cutie is between the guy who stands up and the door..

Some girls like being chased faster than others.

I've never found 2 that had the same anything really. I guess guys are all different too.

It's all played by ear. Something developed by actions, not thoughts..


^^ I am obviously not saying any of this at you per se..



You already got it together, as long as your relationship is happy. You sound a little jealous, and I can't tell why she is telling you these things. Me and my ex would tell each other.. It was sort of fun to us. Besides people were always checking us out.. Not sure if it was my ridiculousness, or that hottie beside me.. It built us stronger together actually..

She could be saying:

"Find me attractive! "

Or if she is like me, she might just be saying it, for no reason other than it did happen.

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

and I am sorry if it freaks people out

but imagine a lesbian is talking to you

can I as a lesbian ask you what do u find attractive ?
many straight woman end up with a lesbian

and sorry if this is a phobia
or u think it is sick
and I offend you

originally posted by: InTheLight

originally posted by: theabsolutetruth
a reply to: InTheLight

I have been in that situation often, I can vouch for that.

It's happened to me too often, though I wish it were not the truth.

Dating is not a science it is a natural mating ritual which needs much thought and work (by the male).

I guess while the girl smiles and is showered with praise!!!


Not a partnership of shared attraction, trust, morals and commitment. No it's an audition of a slave to his master. Where it's all on the guy to have enough "game" (bs talking points that sound good with little or no actual thought put into it) to win the affection of the beautiful flower he should thank whatever god he worships for allowing him to sit in the same room with her!!!



Lol... Just lol! That's definatly the way dating works in the modern era!!

originally posted by: InTheLight
It seems this thread is more about men without game, or men expecting games, or women being game.

Yep definately men without " game"! Not untrustworthy, unintelligent, liars with little or no emotional depth....


It's a lack of "Game" aka BS talking points that sound good but have little or no actual meaning....



Just out of curiousity who is the bargain bin, second rate females in this conversation. I forget?

originally posted by: MimiSia
a reply to: Entreri06

I am confused

1. what are you trying to say personally

2. what is this scientific advice..

is it to

not to make man jealous? ok that is common sense if you want to be in a relationship



if a woman is trying to make you jealous that means she is insecure

Except for it's a very common tactic amongst the women of the world that as you said prob leads back to insecurities.


So while jealousy does make a fairly decent chunk of the female population more attracted to a mate. It makes males have a negative reaction. If looking for a strategy to get your other to pay more attention to you or whatever. You should try one of the many other strategies (here's the science part) because men are wired to react violently to compitition. We weren't given pre selection as a mate choosing strategy. We were given territorial "attack the threat" wireing.

Not that if a woman intentionally makes her spouse jealous it's her fault if he gets violent. The whole point of civilization is ignoring our primal natures and doing what's best for the group.

originally posted by: MimiSia
a reply to: TruthLover557

Also ever think about the possibility that no one is trying to make you jealous and you are just jealous?

I thought the same thing!!!

Nope because in a first date senerio I'm not even remotely emotionally involved enough to care enough to feel jealousy. Maybe in a long term relationship situation.

originally posted by: Entreri06

Just out of curiousity who is the bargain bin, second rate females in this conversation. I forget?

All the women who get played like a game obviously.
I hope people know with everything I am writing that just cause it sounds like "tricks or games" it's not like that, because I don't think like that.. But to put it into words, it sounds like its a planned out thing, a game...

In fact all human interaction involves these subtle games.. People just get offended, when you are saying members of their sex can be "manipulated." And I make is clear nothing I have said is about manipulation or tricks.. It's just natural getting noticed, and getting some words in..

I don't put on clothes to trick you into thinking I'm a normal human that wears clothes for instance. That's just what I'm like I'm a clothes wearing dude (a lot of the time).




I thought the OP was ok (and later noticed when someone pointed out that the title said SCIENCE.. )

It's the main thing that has put me off to girls.. I don't need to hear any bragging. I'll listen about any of your past relationships AFTER we have a common bond set up, not before. Or before too, but only if I detect you are just saying it.... ie "Not Playing Games."

in Summary:

Actions being a game or real, are not dependent on the action itself but the motivation behind the action. You have good enough motives you can tell me anything you want.

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting
a reply to: MimiSia

I am confused

You finally said something I agree with. Just be careful to speak for yourself, and not all women, okay?

Yes only the feminist types who think no males should comment on anything female related are allowed to speak for all women. You aren't!!!

a reply to: MimiSia

can I as a lesbian ask you what do u find attractive ?

You can ask, but what difference does it make? I get the impression that you are searching for a type of formula, or particular suggestions to assist in finding a mate, or having someone fall in love with you. It doesn't work that way.

A person can find another person attractive because of the way they look; or how they move, or how they think. They can find another person attractive because they are charming, or because they are abrupt. Because they are outspoken, or because they are shy. Because they love their heart, or because they love their personalilty. Because they always agree, or because they always argue. Because they are sane, or because they are insane.

The heart has it's reasons.

In answer to the question what do I find attractive? Johnny Depp. : )

But seriously, You'll be fine. Maybe stop focusing so much on what others want, and focus on what you want in a relationship. Once you know that, you'll know what to look for.

eta: one more thing -- ya know, I can't think of anything more awful, than if we were all attracted to the same type, can you?
That would be so dreadful! For every Jack, there is a Jill, thank goodness!

originally posted by: Cancerwarrior
I haven't really dated alot in my lifetime, but I have been married to the same woman for almost 15 years now. we have been together for more like 17 but here is my observations on it all:

If somebody hits on my wife when she stops at the gas station or wherever, thats the first thing she tells me about when I ask her "How did your day go?" when she gets home. Its like she literally cannot wait to let me know that there was another guy that found her attractive (whether real or just perceived by her as such) I always tend to downplay or ignore it when she tells me and she seems to get irritated when I do. The thing is when I observe and point out this behavior its like she really doesnt notice it at all.

And this is something else I've noticed throughout the years, if you ask a woman what kind of man she wants, 90 percent of the time they will all say the same things: They will tell you they want a nice looking guy who treats them like a lady and takes care of their family and has a good job and is a good provider and doesnt cheat on them etc. etc. Then many of these very same women I see get men like this, exactly as they describe them. Then (I think unconsciously) its like they purposefully sabotage their relationships with the guy. They'll do and say things to distance themselves from him, or make him distance themselves from her. Then I see many of these same women get with a guy who treats them like a doormat, talks down to them, uses them for money while they never work, on and on and they stay together for years.

I know I cannot say that about all women for sure. I do know some women that actually have a good man and have been happily together for many years, but that does'nt seem like the trend to me at all.

I was home schooled for most of grade school and I went to a public high school becasue I wanted to play sports. So when I hit 9th grade, I felt like this total weirdo becasue all of a sudden I was thrust into this environment where all of these social factors(that I had never really thought about or considered unimportant up until then) came into play over who your friends were, what group you hung out with, how to talk to girls was a biggie too becasue it seems most people start flirting/learning how to talk with girls in jr. high and I had skipped all of that. I had always assumed "Well, if a girl is interested in me, she will find a way to let me know if I just be Mr. nice guy like girls say they want."

I was 21 years old and in college when I finally lost that mindset. A cute redhead girl started going to classes there and she always hung outside in the smoking area after tests, bumming cigarettes off of me and talking non stop (usually about her ex-boyfriends). I wanted to ask her out but figured I'd get the awkward "Sorry, but....blah blah I like you as a friend" speech that I had gotten from practically every woman I had ever asked up until then, so I did something that I just generally don't do to people. I started to make fun of her and say stuff like "damn, looks like you need to lose a few pounds" or "Do you consider getting botox to get rid of those lines around your eyes." Within a day....A SINGLE DAY she was waiting for me by my car to leave one day and wanted to know if I wanted to get a drink with her after class. I could'nt believe it.

So I guess some dating advice to guys would be talk down to your woman, treat your dog better than her, let her know shes fat and ugly and hit her up for money all the time!

(I'm joking by the way, I would have not been married to the woman I have for as long as I have if that's how I really was. Still does'nt mean I don't see it all around me though.)

Shhh all the ladies in the thread are pretending preselection is a made up conspiracy to .... I don't even know what the end game would be...

I just wonder how the illuminatti got all the other animals who use it as a mate choosing stategy to do it.... Obviously they are magic ... Maybe anchient aliens!!!

originally posted by: ladyinwaiting


In answer to the question what do I find attractive? Johnny Depp. : )

But seriously, You'll be fine. Maybe stop focusing so much on what others want, and focus on what you want in a relationship. Once you know that, you'll know what to look for.

Oh yea he's pretty interesting. I find minds very sexy.

a reply to: Entreri06

i still don't get it

why would it be jelousy

why not sexy skirt
or make u laugh

if I am trying to attract you then I am confident that I want to gett your attention

ok picture this
the club 1am half drunk scenario

we are at a dance floor I would be focusing on you
not at others or showing u pic of my ex or talking about "baby daddy" (phrase u used)

the first date scenario
give me an example

ok or at least define jelousy
if nothing makes you jelous why does it matter if she is trying to make u jelous

if you think that is a pathetic strategy
no 2date move on

a reply to: ladyinwaiting

see there is a reason it is Johnny

attraction never left the building you are still attracted to the person you are in a relationship

not you I will just use that

that means ur partner is Johnny
well that depends if u fetched him

lol btw we are all saying the same here in this thread
everybody is different

not?

a reply to: Entreri06

I don't do the dating scene thing, though if I did and thought a man had 'game' I would think him a 'player' and as such unattractive.

Most discerning women choose men for RELATIONSHIPS and PARTNERSHIPS because of their suitability for long term relationships and that doesn't mean being a player or ''having game''.

I guess women and men out for one night stands might be into that sort of game /player thing but scrupulous people looking for long term partnerships aren't.

originally posted by: theabsolutetruth
a reply to: Entreri06

I don't do the dating scene thing, though if I did and thought a man had 'game' I would think him a 'player' and as such unattractive.

sort of agree enough with the rest, we are different so it's no bother.

I mean really what are we doing here talking in circles. You said it right there. And that was one of the original points in the op.
That girls were using games, and it turns guys off.

So it really is simple as:

Be yourself. The more you act as you the more you become you. The more you know who you are the more nothing phases you. Other people see this, and other people like people who have personalities that are unique unto them. This is the confidence men and women love.

People like Matt Bellamy Aren't "having game." He is just actually Matt Bellamy.

So truthfully giving out advice that you have learned from knowing yourself is skipping steps, and really just be yourself..

Of course some people need a leg up. Just a boost.

a reply to: theabsolutetruth

god

I always want to reply to u in every thread not just this one

but never do because I just agree or u just like the thing u say

ok here it is I like it all
so far there was not one post I didn't like

a reply to: KnightLight

ok so why are u single lol

originally posted by: MimiSia
a reply to: KnightLight

ok so why are u single lol

5 year relationship. Ended a year ago.
Next girl crazy. maybe I broke her brain.
She was arrested for assaulting me.

then it's been craziness.

I'm single cause I am supposed to be atm.

a reply to: MimiSia

Thanks.

Nice feedback is welcome. Sometimes ATS for me has been rather negative.