Hernando's Hideaway. Another Thread "almost certainly not for you."

a reply to: guohua

Grandson doing well .. dropped him off at school before going to train station .. yep told him was time I return to the mountain..

Between son trying talk me into staying with them and lady at karaoke lounge bringing up the terrifying subject of marriage time to go .. so going to go kick around in beijing for a few days since not been in awhile ..

Thanks definetly need a drink this fine morning .. though I dont start singing till after the fifth drink .. also recommend earplugs as am terrible singer ..

originally posted by: Expat888
Eh ?? Did I hear drink ??? Could do with another Drambuie neat ..

Morning all .. hows everyone this fine sunny morning ?

Kind of in .. taking train to beijing today been awhile since been there .. besides had to exit the ao fast lady at karaoke club started talk about marriage .. thus discretion ruling the day it time to exit the ao ..

You need to una$$ the AO that's for sure when they start talking Marriage.
You're just to good of a singer,,,, and your Dancing,,, those twinkle toes of your's.

originally posted by: Expat888
Eh ?? Did I hear drink ??? Could do with another Drambuie neat ..

Morning all .. hows everyone this fine sunny morning ?

Kind of in .. taking train to beijing today been awhile since been there .. besides had to exit the ao fast lady at karaoke club started talk about marriage .. thus discretion ruling the day it time to exit the ao ..

hell, hit the buie with a couple rocks and a shot of scotch. you'll be there in no time.

originally posted by: guohua
Ok, Ok, How many T-Bones was that again?
Bar maid, Bar maid,,,we need food and drinks!!

Hello, my Good People of ATS, @ tsingtao, Great record.

Oh,,,, the wife is Bumping me off,,,, BYE!!!!!!!

is that a bad thing?

a reply to: tsingtao

tsingtao, how have you been doing?
I hope all is well.
It's nice to take a break from the threads and just answer questions and get answers to some questions.
Like, what do men Today, look for in a wife?
I've been think of this, most young people I see today are more interested in their cell phones or cars than their prospective Life Time Mate!
I believe Charles brought this up earlier also.

a reply to: guohua

Very true .. old habit having escape route planned in advance .. luckily got out alive and whats left of my sanity reasonably intact .. will take being back in a war zone over marriage anyday .. better odds of survival in combat ..

Contrary to rumours it wasnt me dancing on the tables .. erm.. meant no comment at this time and I know nothing of those events ..

How goes life there ?

a reply to: tsingtao
Morning .. am a purist when it comes to drinks and never ruin a good drink with ice ..

Find it amusing that in places it not safe to drink the water see people put ice in drinks .. they dont stop to realise where the water to make the ice comes from ..

Welcome to Hernandos hope you enjoy it here nice place and great food ..

a reply to: Expat888
ROFLMAS,,,, You're on the Table and I can Prove it!!!!!!
@ tsingtao,

is that a bad thing?

Make the husband the Bar tender. and cook and chef bottle washer


True, All drinks are best at Room Temperature.

a reply to: Expat888

Find it amusing that in places it not safe to drink the water see people put ice in drinks .. they dont stop to realise where the water to make the ice comes from ..

No kidding, when I was living in Taipei we were always told "don't drink the tap water." So everyone got bottled water delivered. One day my friends and I went by the "bottling plant" and it was just a small building and workers were filling the bottles using a hose. LMAO.

a reply to: guohua

What look for in wife .. hmm .. usually I stop for a sanity check if start thinking of marriage again ..
as to list .. lets see .. *fires up cigar*
1.sanity
2. good personality and intelligent able to hold a civil converstion on a wide range of subjects without using one or two word replies .
3. affectionate - able to show and accept affection .. ( icequeens not allowed )
4. caring
5. neat and clean cant stand lack of hygiene in people nor in living envireonment.
6. they dont spend money like a drunk sailor on useless # ..
7. honest .. have no use for liars and cheats ..
8. doesnt nag .. scold or show the blackface all the time ..

It a long list that goes much further ..

originally posted by: MarlinGrace

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe

originally posted by: Expat888
Just dropped in for a drink and cigar .. though nearly fled in sheer terror over the discussion on intersex communications .. still trying to find a translation app to translate woman speak .. no luck locating a reliable translator ..

You don't need a translator.... You need a woman who says what she means and means what she says. There are still some out there. I prefer that tact myself as I am too impatient to try and relay my messages in code only then to have to wait and see if he will get it this time since he didn't get it the last 500 times.

I prefer to cut to the chase and save that time for something else.

Once again the voice of reason and profound understanding. You are so right about say what you mean and mean what you say, it took 40 years but I found her and after 33 of being single I decided to get married again. Understanding is what we have about us and the love we have and share for each other. Your last two post were clear as fresh spring water deep from within the earth medicated or not. Mr. Kang is lucky to have had it for all these years, I am on 7 months, and it has been great.

Your flattery will get you everywhere Marlin.

It's a fight you know? Even though I hate that behavior, I do catch myself easing into it on occasion. I think it's human nature. Truly. We do really want for people to know exactly what they've done wrong and why they've hurt us without having to say so. The behavior or the words were so hurtful that we can't imagine why nobody would know that it was just crushing to hear/see it. Then we are hurt even more because they didn't realize it without having to be told. But the truth is, sometimes we just take it all wrong and when that's not communicated it just blows up over time.

In calmer moments we have to think.... Did I really marry someone who would go out of their way to hurt me like that? Does this person regularly try to hurt me on purpose? When we are calm (and if we are sane) the answer is definitely NO. We forget that though when we are on the middle of the "storm".

I'm nowhere near perfect. The first 5-7 years of my marriage had me wanting to drive my car off of a cliff. I kid you not. I seriously did not think we would make it out of that. I can't recall being happy... in those first few years. I am quite sure he was just as miserable. We dated for 3 months before we married. We married on March 14... I found out I was pregnant on April Fool's Day. I was 20 and he had just turned 21.

We did a hell of a lot of growing up together. I didn't appreciate anything he did. Nothing. Embarrassing to admit, but shared in the hopes that someone else can see that it isn't always just fun and fairy tales. About the time we started pulling it together we lost our second daughter. It was almost like having to start over again. Somewhere in there we realized that we had grown in love and that if a loss of that magnitude didn't pull us apart, then maybe we had something.

It's been over 17 years now. We still argue on occasion, but we deal with it and it's done. We don't argue for days, throw up divorce every 5 minutes, and sulk afterwards. Both of us have learned to say we're sorry (of course it's usually him saying it more than me... ) and move along.

It's still work, but it's work done on something that you love. My mom always said that if it's worth having that it's worth fighting for.... she was right.

I am glad that you took a chance again and I hope that it is everything you ever wanted. There's nothing like being married to not only your spouse but also your friend. Someone you don't always have to impress (because we all know that's useless after so long), someone you look forward to coming home to and sharing the stories of your day with. Someone that you can make your own story with. Someone you know will be there for you no matter how ugly you get, how sick you get, or even how argumentative you get on your bad days. A safe place to fall when the world reminds you how cold and hard it can be.

I wish you many years of happiness with your new bride.

As far as the medication, it makes me far more "wordy" than I normally am. I realize I am doing it, but can't stop lol. I'm still on it and probably will be for a bit. I am thinking about putting a warning in my signature line.

a reply to: Expat888
Have I got about two Dozen Women For YOU!!!!!!!
No, it's best to be as you are, Happy.
My husband said the same thing, if I was to go first, that's it, I was his Finest Catch he say's
There won't be another so he'll just travel.
If he goes, I have may patents to keep me busy and I substitute.
I could go to China, but it's to Cold and crowded, I think I'd sell our Condo there and just stay here, carry my husband around in a jar!

Somebody called me????

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
My dear friend it's so good to see you again.
your statement:

I'm nowhere near perfect. The first 5-7 years of my marriage had me wanting to drive my car off of a cliff.

You know how right you are, I think the first 7 years are the Hardest! Really, I didn't know if I make it either.
I've found out from other's now that their first Seven Years was a Night Mare for them too. Mostly Money and Kids.

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
Somebody called me????

Yes, Friend What're you drinking, with ice or with out?

a reply to: charles1952

Charles, where are you Dear Charles,,,, have you heard the song for your thread from tsingtao.
Very fitting!
Charles, My dear Friend, your feeling OK tonight I hope.
If not please let me know and I'll get some candles and incense burning for you and I'll meditate for your CHE.

Come on in and have a drink, I'll make you a Gin & Water, light on the Gin.

originally posted by: guohua
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
My dear friend it's so good to see you again.
your statement:

I'm nowhere near perfect. The first 5-7 years of my marriage had me wanting to drive my car off of a cliff.

You know how right you are, I think the first 7 years are the Hardest! Really, I didn't know if I make it either.
I've found out from other's now that their first Seven Years was a Night Mare for them too. Mostly Money and Kids.

Same here. That does seem to be a common theme. I think the divorce rate is so high because nobody fights through those first few years. Many Americans (not sure about other places) have somehow given in to the notion that their marriage should be something out of a Disney movie and that's not anybody's reality. They have been led to believe that married people shouldn't ever fight, times shouldn't ever hard, and if it is, it must mean they aren't supposed to be together.

Marriage has become a "test drive" of sorts and in turn that has lead to "throwing it away" at the first sign of inconvenience or hardship IMO.

Just because you fight, it doesn't mean you don't love each other, and just because you don't fight, it doesn't mean that you do.

Marriage definitely isn't a trip to the carnival (unless we are doing the spooky horror house of mirrors). If people wouldn't enter into it thinking that way, the divorce rate would plummet I think.

I'm willing to bet that you are happy that you stuck with Mr. G now?? It was worth fighting for?

And it's ALWAYS good to see you Guohua! The feeling is mutual.

originally posted by: guohua

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
Somebody called me????

Yes, Friend What're you drinking, with ice or with out?

I'll take a couple of shots of Southern Comfort, a wee bit of grenadine, a splash of lemon juice, topped off with some cranberry juice. That's what I refer to as a Scarlet O'hara.

No ice required.

originally posted by: Bilk22
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Brilliant post. I gave you a star. You should write a book - no kidding either

The one I read said we pick partners that in some way, represent our primary caregiver or other person who had profound influence on our day to day existence during childhood. Then we try to fix or correct in them, that which "bothered the heck out of us the most", during those formative years

So yeah, we try to fix people instead of understand them. They do the same and we get a tossed salad no one likes.

I will take that as a compliment coming from you Bilk. Thank you.

Your post is on the money and sounds just about right to me. I think those of us who have realized what kind of horse's ass we can be deal with it a little more factually than those who haven't caught on to their own dysfunction. We all have it, it's just harder for some people to admit than it is for others I think. You can't really fix the problem if you don't know or refuse to even see what is causing it.

It's also good to pick your battles like most of us do with our children. Nobody can win them all, so there's no point in fighting them all. Sometimes you just need to let things go so when there is a bigger issue you don't look like a complete controlling witch for bringing it up.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I'll take a couple of shots of Southern Comfort, a wee bit of grenadine, a splash of lemon juice, topped off with some cranberry juice. That's what I refer to as a Scarlet O'hara.

Another double Jack D for me barmaid, where's that table Expat was dancing on?

Wrrowww!

On a different note, I really miss the old emoticons.. these just seem flat.

originally posted by: Bassago
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I'll take a couple of shots of Southern Comfort, a wee bit of grenadine, a splash of lemon juice, topped off with some cranberry juice. That's what I refer to as a Scarlet O'hara.

Another double Jack D for me barmaid, where's that table Expat was dancing on?

Wrrowww!

On a different note, I really miss the old emoticons.. these just seem flat.

The icons are a bit much. I like it when I use the duh one so that it looks kind of sad and other members think I am using it to say duh.

In all my years on this planet, I have never seen anyone make that face when they say duh...