Dead Beat Dad - Completely Unfair Label?

What about fathers who want nothing more than to be part of the child's life but the mother wants nothing to do with the father and refuses access rights. This happened to a good friend of mine he is a great father but the mother fought tooth and nail to restrict his rights to see his child on a regular basis. When the courts ordered the mother to let the father see his son at least twice a week she moved to another state, giving only one days notice to the father, he didn't even get to say bye. Now he still pays child support (garnishing his wage) and lives a sad lonely life... very sad to see.

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
reply to post by FirstCasualty

 

Its not one sided because dead beat mums get chased up for child support too.

The women dont get away with anything either, nor should they.

The same applies to them , they wanted abit of " nookie" and now its time to take responsibility for your life on earth.

Giving up parental responsibility is too EASY. For both genders.

edit on 21-5-2013 by FreedomEntered because: (no reason given)

Not the deadbeat moms who just murder the child in the womb to avoid responsibility,
2nd line.

reply to post by g146541


haha not bitter. I had a dead beat mother infact and saw my dad struggle and work his bottom off to provide for me and him. He had to juggle everything. Of course he resented her. Why wouldnt he?

As for me. I feel she could have acted more responsibly. Of course, she was very attractive and I dont blame him for falling for her.

On another note, I dont hate men. On the contrary.

I hate people who think their problem is everyone elses problem..and dont clean up their own mess.

reply to post by g146541


Abortion IS NOT MURDER get your facts straight. Look outside of the bible for a second and read a biology text

Didnt say I agree with abortion did I. But as the law stands now. If a woman feels she is unable to parent and becomes pregnant, weather by accident or by one night stand, what ever than she has a right. Because the baby isnt seen as fully human .

I dont agree with it. But thats the law...

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
reply to post by FirstCasualty

 

Its not one sided because dead beat mums get chased up for child support too.

The women dont get away with anything either, nor should they.

The same applies to them , they wanted abit of " nookie" and now its time to take responsibility for your life on earth.

Giving up parental responsibility is too EASY. For both genders.

edit on 21-5-2013 by FreedomEntered because: (no reason given)

ahahahahah what planet do you live on most often the mother is a deadbeat and most often it equals to nothing as more women are given slaps on the wrist then men when child support isn't paid.

Originally posted by Agent008
reply to post by g146541

 

Abortion IS NOT MURDER get your facts straight. Look outside of the bible for a second and read a biology text

No no sir, to call me a bible thumper or even a believer is a faaar stretch.
Organized religion is for idiots.
There is a life wholly separate from the womans when she is carrying a baby.
You may gild the lily as you see fit but I see life within anothers life.
Abortion is murder.

In the UK its 15% of a wage its hardly taking a man to the cleaners....

And many men know how to screw the system and not pay at all...

What is odd however, is if a man is accused of being the father and hes not and hes paid child support for years .... meaning if he didnt take a dna test. He will will still be seen as the father till the childs 18yrs of age.

So if any doubts a man needs to go straight for a DNA.

reply to post by digital01anarchy


Not really no. Women are chased up for child support if they arent in that childs life. And rightfully so...

Well, that didnt take long. Another thread to toss in the "abortion is MURDER" pile.

So predictable.

reply to post by captaintyinknots


ATS is going to hell in a hand basket.....

this site is terrible now a days.Everything is de-railed and the OP bashed while the information he posted is read with blind eyes.

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

Now, the reason I think this is unfair has a lot to do with the abortion argument. If a woman has the right to get an abortion simply because she didn't want a child, and the man has no right (which I agree with) to tell her what she can do about it, then shouldn't the man have the equal right to say he doesn't want anything to do with the child?

Well firstly, I disagree that men have no say in abortions. If both a man and woman made a choice to have a child and then woman gets cold feed afterwards, that in no way should limit the father from having equal say in that situation.

Secondly, no, you don't have the right to decide you want nothing to do with your child. You made him, you're responsible for him.

Period.

Child support is a great thing, so long as it's done fairly and that the money is used for the child. If it's not, then that's up to the father and a good lawyer to make his case in court.

Now there are those one off cases where a judge makes some insane judgement on this and of course we should decide on a case by case basis, whether the support is deserved or not.

But you certainly don't get to "mulligan" your hand after you create life. Be it intentional or not.

~Tenth

One needs to see struggling single parents to realise this isnt a light matter. And money wont make things better even. It will pay for certain " basic needs " the child has but thats about all. And if a single parent is lucky the other parent will be more than helpful in times of dire need. But again its all relative....

Ultimately responsible parents who care for their children to the best of their abilities are worthy of a medal. Because they are good folk..

Both parents need to be held accountable in what ever way possible.

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

 

I agree with almost all of your points.
That said, I have known some real dead beat dads who still owe for their contribution.
I do agree that if a man can be forced to pay, he should also have the right to abort or abandon the child cleanly with no obligation.
There are many here who will say "old enough to play, old enough to pay", and other nonsense but...
If these women want equal treatment and all of the perks, they should also be willing to take the bad too.
You want the rights of a Man, well I want the rights of a woman!

I'd like to point out here that the median child support payment in the US is $280 per month. If by pay to play you mean that the women who have chosen to face the consequences of their actions and raise the child do not pay, well, lets just say it takes a lot more than that to raise a child.

Penny

What folk also forget is that children can take after this dead beat dad, or the dead beat mum also.

Like lol they may be more like them, so why then does the primary parent then have to take the " full load"?.. Makes no sense.

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
If a man has sex with no condoms he should face the consequences - men are not children. They know this....

There are always chances of all sorts of " happenings " without condoms.

If a woman has sex with no condoms she should face the consequenses - women are not children. They know this...

There are always chances of all sorts of "happenings" without condoms.

And ultimately, with a pregnancy, IT'S HER BODY and she should be 100% responsible for what SHE does to it.

Sexual hypocricy me thinks.

reply to post by nerbot


Yes ,precisely and women should be. Nothing hypocritical about it....

Ive already made clear I dont support abortion..

The women should be quicker at making these choices, the after morning pills allows for 3 days for them to decide. Its ample time. They are just lazy..... but there are MANY of them who are this way.

Unfortunately in some cases, abortion is THE FORM of contraception.

But AGAIN men and women deadbeats need to be held responsible for their actions too.

Originally posted by pennylemon

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

 

I agree with almost all of your points.
That said, I have known some real dead beat dads who still owe for their contribution.
I do agree that if a man can be forced to pay, he should also have the right to abort or abandon the child cleanly with no obligation.
There are many here who will say "old enough to play, old enough to pay", and other nonsense but...
If these women want equal treatment and all of the perks, they should also be willing to take the bad too.
You want the rights of a Man, well I want the rights of a woman!

I'd like to point out here that the median child support payment in the US is $280 per month. If by pay to play you mean that the women who have chosen to face the consequences of their actions and raise the child do not pay, well, lets just say it takes a lot more than that to raise a child.

Penny

There is no "median" on a case to case basis, there is a program called the dissomaster that divies up the parents paychecks and bills, all of these numbers can be skewed one way or another.
In some cases, some parents do not even need a measly $280. and could shower their kids with all they want and need.
Both parents should "pay to play", unless one or the other can be let off of their responsibility and lose all rights.
Women enjoy this possibility but men do not.
And both parents should be able to afford their kids wholly separately or maybe neither should be having them.
Times when I could not afford my kids, I worked more!

reply to post by FreedomEntered

Unfortunately in some cases, abortion is THE FORM of contraception.

I'm curious, and this question isn't addressed to you only, anyone can answer this. What is your definition of abortion?

Many people are opposed to hormonal contraception, like "The Pill", IUD's and "The Morning After Pill" because they make the womb a hostile environment so that a fertilized can't implant, therefore, causing an abortion.

INFACT id like to see the abortion scientists publicise the findings that unborn babies do not feel.

They know its a crock of nonsense. Of course they feel.....

In these times we are seeing women and men having kids without a care in the world. They think sex is ONLY pleasure. They are frickin clueless and need to be taught lesson.

BUT they know what people are like. And thats why the whole system is kinda messed up. They are probably trying to prevent there being tons of orphans in the world.