Dead Beat Dad - Completely Unfair Label?

I think calling someone a Dead Beat Dad and forcing them to not only pay child support, but also support the mother financially is completely unfair, and I'll get to my reasoning in a moment. I don't know about other countries but here in the States, if you are male and get a girl pregnant and she keeps the baby, virtually 100% of the time you are ordered to support the child and more often than not, the mother as well, regardless of your relationship status with her.

Now, the reason I think this is unfair has a lot to do with the abortion argument. If a woman has the right to get an abortion simply because she didn't want a child, and the man has no right (which I agree with) to tell her what she can do about it, then shouldn't the man have the equal right to say he doesn't want anything to do with the child? I'm the father of a four year old son, and I love him more than anything, so I believe any parent, regardless of gender, should be there for them as it's not their fault, however I do not believe either parent should be forced to support the child or the parent who has custody. I said any parent because in rare cases, the mother will give the child to the father and will be required to support them.

Mind you, I am not referring to divorces, or people who were in lengthy relationships AFTER the child was born. If you were married anytime after pregnancy, of course you should be obligated. I'm kind of conflicted over unmarried relationships, but am leaning towards saying no one should be required in that instance as well.

I guess to simplify it, for the time being I am mostly referring to one-night stands or people who weren't married. As I said, I believe any parent should be there for their child, however, I believe there shouldn't be a double-standard when it comes who has the right to choose if they want a child or not.

A man only pays 15% of his wage to a mother of his children.

I know one guy who has 4 kids from different mothers. He pays and gets on with life,

His kids are provided for well, and he sees all of them and although he isnt with the mothers at least the tax payer doesnt have to pay.

So two options have the men pay

Or the tax payer....

And he has plenty of money left for holidays, girlfriends, his apartment and fun.
Hes an average earner.

If a man has sex with no condoms he should face the consequences - men are not children. They know this....

There are always chances of all sorts of " happenings " without condoms.

Its perfectly fair, and its perfectly reasonable.

There is a large debate to be had as far as mens rights, but regardless, if you are man enough to stick it in, but not man enough to support your CHILD, you are a deadbeat. Flat out.

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat


Any man can give up his parental rights, and not have to pay child support, unless, the mother is on public assistance. In that case, he may have to pay.

Giving up Parental Rights

reply to post by FreedomEntered


Do you believe women should be allowed to have an abortion simply because she doesn't want the child?

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat


Well its her body and this is a different topic. I think you need to take this to a thread discussing abortion and mens rights.

But my point of view is this - from the point of conception both parents are responsible for the welfare of the child. It should be the case that both have to sign for an abortion - my opinion on the matter.

If the man doesnt want an abortion, then the woman should continue the pregnancy but give " FULL rights " to the father after the baby is born. Meaning if she didnt want the baby , then the father becomes the full parent.

But this is quite complicated... because where feelings concern people will fight. And this child will be brought into very sad circumcstances.

Id say most aborted babies are probably from " one night stands" and such like.

I'm sure we'd all like to not be called names that make us look or feel bad. But there's really no place you can go to make people stop doing it.

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

 

Well its her body and this is a different topic. I think you need to take this to a thread discussing abortion and mens rights.

I think that's what he's trying to achieve with this thread.

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

Do you believe women should be allowed to have an abortion simply because she doesn't want the child?

Yes.

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat


I agree with almost all of your points.
That said, I have known some real dead beat dads who still owe for their contribution.
I do agree that if a man can be forced to pay, he should also have the right to abort or abandon the child cleanly with no obligation.
There are many here who will say "old enough to play, old enough to pay", and other nonsense but...
If these women want equal treatment and all of the perks, they should also be willing to take the bad too.
You want the rights of a Man, well I want the rights of a woman!

As far as for paying the spousal support/alimony I see this as absolute nonsense, "If you were old enough to play, you are old enough to pay", AMIRIGHT???

I also challenge the idea that a woman is the best parent to put the kids with, I have known many excellent single Dads.

reply to post by Blue Shift


Deadbeat dad is what they are - a man who doesnt give a damn.

There is also the term dead beat mum. And they too abandon men and their children.

. There is no going around it. When a parent is absent and not paying they are avoiding their responsibilities .

If I had a child out of wedlock, I'd want to be the father to that child.

I would sue for 50% time with the child.

Way back when I was in high school my mother told me, if you don't want a woman involved in you life for the next 18 years... Don't have sex with her. She got her point across.

reply to post by g146541


The baby is HIS DNA and he MADE the baby.

You seem to forget this simple fact.

Half of this child is literally HIM.

reply to post by MadhatterTheGreat

What I fail to understand is that men who choose to have sex with a woman of child bearing age cannot seem to grasp the concept that there is always a risk of pregnancy. You really want to run the risk of a one night stand without protecting yourself? If you're in a relationship then surely you must be willing to accept the consequences of your behaviour, it isn't soley down to the woman is it?
Not getting into the abortion debate; you help create a life, you help take care of it. Maybe if more people took responsibility for their actions instead of whining like little girls that a woman they CHOSE to have sex with is pregnant, there may be fewer children growing up with absent / resentful fathers

reply to post by FreedomEntered


You state,

Well its her body

You are partially right, unless someone has found a way for an untouched woman to get knocked up.
The egg is of her body, but the seed is of his body.
Both should have equal say, unless they just want to give up their rights to the child.
This is something the woman can control and the man cannot.
Yet women cry of inequality still...
I payed for my six yes 6 children, I was fortunate to have found a reasonable partner who was not bitter and hateful.

Yes, funny - but id say make a man pay even higher child support and then he would probably NOT make the same mistake again. Men often make the same mistake.. have foot loose fancy free sex thinking they can " get away" with having sex without condoms or by relying on a woman they feel no trust for.

Then to find out shes pregnant. Well helooooooooooo now its time to pay for your OWN DNA on earth and not expect hard working citizens to fund your bottom .

Child support is neccesary in a lot of cases but its unfair sometimes
to see really good lawyers take a parent to the cleaners for a higher
commission. There should be bench marks set not just left up to judges
and lawyers.

As well it would be nice to see which ever parent WANTS to leave the
relationship also has to give up full custody of tue child and.pay support.

If a mother just suddenly decides she made a mistake in her choice of
partners she shoild not be rewarded with support while she goes out and
finds someone else. If she wants to leave him then she leaves the.child
and pays her share.


Its very one sided and void of the fact women dont always make the best
decisions same as men.


on a side note: having to file taxes as a couple just because you have
children together is an invasion of privacy ( ya ok thats a personal beef)

The topic is on supporting the mother not on the child. I see way too many people in this thread with reading comprehension skills that are lacking. With that being said How many people have seen a mother who collects money from the government and collects money on the child from the father? This issue is a two way street the mother also had something to do with making the child so she needs to pay as well. 400 dollars a month not including medical bills or school supplies seems pretty fair to me and believe it or not its a huge chunk of money out of a pay check when taxes are collected.

Think about it you make 2000 dollars a month 500 of that is taxed then 400 is gone to the child wooo hoo 1100 dollars to pay a 900 dollar rent and pay for gas. and if you make more money your order to pay more yeaaaaa! but hey its the guys fault right? I mean she uses the government for food so cut that out, she can get rent assistance so drop apartment bills in half 400 dollars and you just paid for her rent. While the guy has to struggle and if he misses a payment is a deadbeat yeah thats real fair people lol

I'm aware that there is more to the issue regarding single parents hell i had a single mother raise me. Its a hell of a job raising a kid by yourself but even still its an issue with the way the laws are setup and the amount of help that is issued to just the mother and not the father

reply to post by FirstCasualty


Its not one sided because dead beat mums get chased up for child support too.

The women dont get away with anything either, nor should they.

The same applies to them , they wanted abit of " nookie" and now its time to take responsibility for your life on earth.

Giving up parental responsibility is too EASY. For both genders.

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
Yes, funny - but id say make a man pay even higher child support and then he would probably NOT make the same mistake again. Men often make the same mistake.. have foot loose fancy free sex thinking they can " get away" with having sex without condoms or by relying on a woman they feel no trust for.

Then to find out shes pregnant. Well helooooooooooo now its time to pay for your OWN DNA on earth and not expect hard working citizens to fund your bottom .

Ahhh I see, so you are just bitter toward men that can and do have fun.
Sad, very sad.
Are you a scorned woman or an awkward guy?