Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

reply to post by smyleegrl


You know I couldn't agree with you more.
I am also tired of how we all get lumped into whatever categories set forth.
But from my point of view, the masses fall easily into these categories.
I only speak of females I know of. I don't assume right off the bat that every single women I come across is that way. I give them a fair shake, however I don't usually get one in return from alot of them.
Now I am aware of myself on how I look and who I am and what most people think of me right off the bat.
Women I noticed are quick to judge. To use my ex as an example, she told me when she first seen me she thought I was the typical muscle bound idiot with a massive ego. The funny part is I am a quiet person. But based on my size alone she made that assumption. I have had lots of girls in the past tell me the same thing. I can just stand there without saying a single word and they don't even know my name but thats how they respond to me. They will ignore me in a crowd and talk with guys that, maybe they see as less threatening in comparison. I don't think I'm threatening, I certainly don't walk around with a scoul or a mean look on my face, but thats my stigma. OR what I also encountered is the girls that like the "bad boy" types think I am one of those as well, but when they discover I am gentle and kind, they get bored quick and move on. Those are the types I always hear them say "all I want is a nice guy! Where all of them?" Meanwhile I'm standing right infront of them.

I had a friend that was a major male whore. He dressed flashy like a rockstar. I was his "wingman" who looked average. I couldn't believe how girls would gawk at him, even though if you looked closely at him, his teeth were falling out, he talked to them like whores and was a pig in general, but just based on his style and gift of gab they went home with him anyways. He would use them in the worst ways and, well I'm sure thats what they really wanted. I had one girl interested in me briefly, but because I didn't jump her and try to get in her pants and instead treated her like a person, she choose him over me. So what I learned is there really are two kinds of females. Ladies with self respect and class which is rare, and women who just want to use and abuse just like their male counterparts.

I'm old enough to know I won't change who I am, I won't pretend to be one of those guys just so I can get laid more. I have no patience for those sorts of women either and they actually disgust me. The only time you see me turn into an a$$h*le is towards those jersey shore wannabe types which I will freely admit I really enjoy doing. lol!
But I have to be in a club or bar to encounter those types which I never go to those sorts of places. My rage meter is buried in the red the moment I step into one of those establisment.

reply to post by fadedface


You are a true pessimistic person. If a women will never choose you, like you keep saying they wont. Have you considered going homosexual? Cause obviously the glove is out the window for your fitting. Might aswell try batting.

Originally posted by fadedface

Originally posted by EViLKoNCEPTz

You do know you need to actually approach women and talk to them right? 90% of women won't directly engage any male in "dating" conversation. Sure they'll drop hints, but most women want to be wanted and pursued. They don't want to chase a partner down, it's just not in their nature. You can't whine that you lost if you never even attempted to play the game.

And therein lies one of the problems women expect men to pursue them so they allow men to compete for their attention and they just sit back and wait till the right alpha male (or their approximation of an alpha male) comes along. Which is why even the most shy female with insecurities will have a chance to have a relationship because men will compete even for the less socialable females.

The same cannot be said for socially awkward males like myself who lack confidence we are condemned by women to remain alone.

Women have to realize that some men like myself who have no confidence are not capable of competing or approaching them in any social situation so are we simply to be denied the chance to have a relationship by women? How can they justify this?

It is short sighted, close minded and downright unfair that women do not notice males who lack confidence and the importance they place on males having confidence is disheartening for those males who are bereft of it.

As women are inherently socialable they should go out of their way to give attention to socially awkward males and help them.

edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)

It has nothing to do with competition. Women want to feel wanted. It's as simple as smiling and saying "hello" and showing some interest. Women aren't psychic, they can't know you're interested if you don't show it. You seriously can't expect the woman to do all the work. They don't rain down out of the sky on anyone's lap, we all have to work for it. Some just have to work harder than others. If you're really wanting to find a partner you have to find your balls and put some effort into it. Women aren't just going to come knocking on your door asking to marry you. When I was younger I was a lot like you, afraid to approach a woman for fear of rejection. But you know what, being told "no" a few times isn't going to kill you, you just move on.

Originally posted by Computron
reply to post by fadedface

 

You are a true pessimistic person. If a women will never choose you, like you keep saying they wont. Have you considered going homosexual? Cause obviously the glove is out the window for your fitting. Might aswell try batting.

Well the only people I get on with and have anything in common with are other socially awkward and passive males who have no confidence so if I'm ever going to have a relationship with anyone they would be the most suitable. It would have to be platonic though.

As for being a pessimist I am one because life never gives me any reason not to be but I'm still a frustrated idealist but thankfully not as naïve as I use to be.

I use to think that by simply being a quietly spoken, polite and passive I would get and be entitled to a relationship with a female. How wrong I was and throughout my life I have never seen any evidence to contradict my belief that women care nothing for quiet and passive males such as myself and that they are only interested in socially accepted and confident males. I just wish someone had of told me this from the beginning so I wouldn't have had so many illusions about life (I wouldn't have had to start this thread for a start) and then maybe the disappointment would not have been so much.

reply to post by fadedface


Ok honestly, think of it this way, do you really want to be with an empty women who sees you for not who and what you are but what you can offer her in the worldly materialistic sense?
I know I don't and I'm stubborn enough to make that clear to them.
Confidence comes in all sizes and shapes.
You must have depth, you must have strong beliefs, thats alot more then the masses. Theres your confidence and strength right there.
Even if you find a women that makes you somewhat happy, she may never be on the same plane as yourself.
I have the feeling that even if I re-marry that I will always feel and be alone because of this deeper connection I seek I won't find with a women. I will find it myself on my own. Sounds bleak you may think?

So all I can say is your on a quest, whether you find someone to join you or not, its YOUR quest, push forward without them. You are in charge of one thing and thats yourself. Gain confidence from that because the rest don't see what we few see.
See yourself for who you are and maybe there is a women out there who will really see you for what you are.
So let the masses use each other and destroy one another from the inside out. They are beneath us, simple as that.

reply to post by fadedface


And therein lies your problem. No one is "entitled" to a relationship, you have to earn it. There's no rule that says life is fair and everyone gets a partner. Life is hard and you have to work to earn everything you have. You work every single day to live just by breathing, yes breathing is work it just happens to be on autopilot with the other vital functions. Your whole problem is you want something for nothing and that's just not how life is.

Originally posted by RiAcPeSa2A6M
I will find it myself on my own. Sounds bleak you may think?

So all I can say is your on a quest, whether you find someone to join you or not, its YOUR quest, push forward without them. You are in charge of one thing and thats yourself. Gain confidence from that because the rest don't see what we few see.
See yourself for who you are and maybe there is a women out there who will really see you for what you are.
So let the masses use each other and destroy one another from the inside out. They are beneath us, simple as that.

Yes I agree with what you say and going through life alone is bleak but that is the price I am forced to pay for being a quiet and passive male and even though I do still sometimes yearn for what others seem to have so easily I can see through it now for what it really is. These women and their confident males may be happy in their smugness but it won't last for them and sooner or later they too might feel what it is like to be alone and maybe then they will know the meaning of humility instead of imposing their greedy happiness on those like me who have nothing.

I have no interest in gaining confidence just as I refuse to compete and I no longer wish to participate in this unfair farce we called life which is based on cruel and unjust laws. I am happy to disappear now and fade away until I become as nothing. I might have some regrets but only for what life could never afford me and this is passing and transitory. I will be free of sadness and gone forever.

Originally posted by fadedface
.

As for being a pessimist I am one because life never gives me any reason not to be but I'm still a frustrated idealist but thankfully not as naïve as I use to be.

WRONG, you can breath on your own right? How many are stuck in hospitals on machines that help them breathe? Do you know how many want to just breathe on their own free will? You can see. Do you know how many are blind? You have hands to type. Do you know how many dont have hands/fingers? You can speak, do you know how many are voiceless? You have legs to walk on. Do you know how many cant walk and want to?! All that Ive mentioned is the simplist of human functions, yet so many go without, and you complain life hasnt given you anything to be happy about?!?!?!?!?! Get off your butt, and do something kid! YOU'RE causing your own demise no one else. You're basically begging for a pitty party, when you dont need one. NOTHING IN LIFE COMES FOR FREE, EVEN RELATIONSHIPS. IF YOU DONT WANT TO PUT IIN THE WORK FOR ONE, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LACK OF ONE.

reply to post by fadedface


Sounds like your on your way to suicide brother.
Not a good way to go, a cowards way. You a coward?
If you are then end it. What are you afraid of?

I don't care for most of the things going on in this world, I don't believe in anything out there either thats man made. But I have my beliefs. I break it down to whats worth living for. A reason to exist. I personally have always known my purpose.
No one can ever take it from me.

Happiness you won't find easily, you won't find it in others either. You have family? You have people you care about in your life? Do you want to see horrible things happen to them in your absence?
I say over my dead body, literally. I don't joke or say this stuff just to sound cool. I mean it.

Like everyone ever, I have been hurt badly, had my hurt ripped out. But that isn't going to stop me in my tracks. Not going to just give up. So what if you can't find a decent women and you feel alone. Thats just a feeling. Something you can control. This is a journey called life. Don't waste time on stupid girls and stupid people.

If I may ask what do you do for a living?

You even said in your post some males took the time to get to know you but how many quiet, socially awkward males with no confidence and no social skills did you take the time to get to know yourself. None would be the answer because women don't do this they wait for the males to come to them.

reply to post by fadedface


How dare you presume to know how I acted?

For your information....I was the girl who always listened to everyone. I went out of my way to talk to the quiet, shy people, because they were the only ones who I felt safe around. And yes, this included the socially awkward boys. In fact, I was often ridiculed for hanging out with the disabled children, or for befriending those who truly were disliked by all. You see, I've always cared about PEOPLE, been drawn to the people who seem the most in need. My career choices in life reflect this; missionary, chaplain, and now teacher.

The simple fact of the matter is, we have choices in life. We choose our paths, and we choose our actions. You are making a choice right now...to continue down a path that you know gets no results. Or you could choose to take a chance, approach a woman, and perhaps change your future.

Originally posted by Computron

Originally posted by fadedface
.

As for being a pessimist I am one because life never gives me any reason not to be but I'm still a frustrated idealist but thankfully not as naïve as I use to be.

WRONG, you can breath on your own right? How many are stuck in hospitals on machines that help them breathe? Do you know how many want to just breathe on their own free will? You can see. Do you know how many are blind? You have hands to type. Do you know how many dont have hands/fingers? You can speak, do you know how many are voiceless? You have legs to walk on. Do you know how many cant walk and want to?! All that Ive mentioned is the simplist of human functions, yet so many go without, and you complain life hasnt given you anything to be happy about?!?!?!?!?! Get off your butt, and do something kid! YOU'RE causing your own demise no one else. You're basically begging for a pitty party, when you dont need one. NOTHING IN LIFE COMES FOR FREE, EVEN RELATIONSHIPS. IF YOU DONT WANT TO PUT IIN THE WORK FOR ONE, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LACK OF ONE.

And its because of all those people you mention worse off than me that I can't be optimistic.

I've always believed no one should be happy until everyone is happy.

And anyone who is truly happy when all the suffering and misery is going on in the world is a very faceless person. And that goes for all those smug females in their happy relationships with confident males. Those are the people you should be yelling at not me.

If I was ever in a relationship with a woman (which I never have been and never will be) it would not be a smug happy one but a melancholy one.

reply to post by fadedface


Upon reading your OP and responses to the statements of others posters in your thread, it has come to my attention that you wouldnt know a real problem if it jumped up and put a bootcap through your jawbone. All this directionless whining, and insistence on your status as a passive person... let me give you a piece of advice. One is not born an alpha or omega male. Ones station is not decided upon by the act of birth, but by the way one allows ones self to be shaped by events.

And you know, there is a difference between passive, and passive aggressive. I would posit that far from being merely passive, you have the aggressive tendancy also. The thinly veiled blade of your indifference and barely concealed scorn for that which surrounds you are never going to attract female attention. You did not end up embittered and alone because there is something wrong with the female population, but because you yourself have a toxic and dangerous personality disorder, making you prone to despondancy, pessimism, and negativity, all of which are anathemic to anyone who possesses both a heart and a soul.

Your complaint is moot, your attitude disgusting, and doggedly holding on to either will see you keep them as your only, most solemn companions, all the way unto the grave.

NOTHING IN LIFE COMES FOR FREE, EVEN RELATIONSHIPS. IF YOU DONT WANT TO PUT IIN THE WORK FOR ONE, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LACK OF ONE.

reply to post by Computron


I'd applaud you if I could. Well done, great advice.

Originally posted by RiAcPeSa2A6M
reply to post by fadedface

 

Sounds like your on your way to suicide brother.
Not a good way to go, a cowards way. You a coward?
If you are then end it. What are you afraid of?

I didn't say anything about suicide I have a melancholy disposition and I was expressing how I'm moving beyond (or hope I am) the transitory aspects of life where I feel resentful and longing for what others have but which has been unfairly denied from me. I'll leave when I'm ready and not before and if its off my own volition then so be it.

But I don't consider people who commit suicide to be cowards and its a cop out for people to say this when they have not experienced what those who have been driven to it have (if they had they wouldn't still be here in my opinion). People who commit suicide are not cowards they have been failed by life.

I've always said life gave up on me before I gave up on it!

reply to post by fadedface


Ok, at this point after all your responses, especially this last one, you're either a troll trying to get a rise out of people, or you're a very deluded individual who wasn't hugged enough as a child. You have some very deep seeded issue's if your posts are genuine, and I would suggest seeking someone professional to talk with about them. It's no wonder no one is attracted to you with that kind of attitude, no one likes a grinch that thinks everyone should be just as miserable as they are, simply because they don't have the guts to take some risks and make an effort to succeed in life. You really need to crawl out of your cave and enjoy life otherwise you might as well be dead.

reply to post by fadedface


The 2 main things that I find a turn off in a man is 1.stupidity and 2.bullying!
Something I would not consider no matter what - even if you were the last man on the planet!
Ewww get it away from me!

reply to post by RiAcPeSa2A6M


I didn't say anything about not appreciating the sanctity of life which I do however I think human interaction and propagation is based on unfair evolutionarily precepts of survival of the fittest which reduce life to the misery you see all around us. I want a change in human nature so we all become passive and timid and move beyond the confines of false social interaction which belies the inherent cruelty of the human race.

It doesn't have to be this way but all the intolerance of the human race has made it like this and I don't believe in it anymore.

reply to post by fadedface


The only thing that would make suicide not cowardly is if you sacrificed your life for others. thats it.
And this whole life has failed them?
You know how easy we have it?
You can get food from a grocery store!!
You can seek medical help from professionals if injured!!
You can sleep in a nice warm home!!
You have access to water!!
You don't have to worry about larger predators trying to eat you!!

How about you have that taken away, and go back to mother nature from which we came from where every waking moment is a struggle to survive. Go take a walk into a forest somewhere without anything and see how long you live for. You won't make it past 2 nights before exposure to just the elements kills you, let alone the other species competing against you to survive, earning their right to live. You think just because we have evolved to where we are that makes you entitled to instant happiness? Get off the couch and look around boy, life is harsh no matter who you are.

reply to post by fadedface

If I was ever in a relationship with a woman (which I never have been and never will be) it would not be a smug happy one but a melancholy one.

You need to get some help. I do not say that in jest. Either you are trolling, or you have some serious issues that need to be attended to.

Yours is an attitude known as a downward spiral. You claim you are not happy, because others are not happy, so you refuse to be happy, until they are happy.

But you are one of the 'they'. You are CHOOSING to be unhappy, you are SEEKING unhappiness and there is not possibility, with this attitude, for you ever to be happy.

I am not kidding. You need to get some help. Before something bad happens.