Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

Originally posted by smyleegrl

There is always time to change. And how do you know someone is less deserving than you? No one ever truly knows the hardships and challenges others face. Everyone has difficulties in life. Everyone has setbacks, and pain, and problems. Some choose to rise up and overcome these setbacks. Others choose to wallow in self pity.

Have you made your choice?

I say less deserving people because I've seen it all my life - proud, overconfident and selfish males get the females but quietly spoken and polite males such as I get left behind and slowly fade away. To me its in injustice and I will speak out against any injustice if I see it and in my experiences women have perpetrated a great injustice by rejected the quiet and passive males.

As for making any choices I'm a very indecisive person but I'll just go on being the polite and friendly frustrated idealist I've always been if that isn't enough then so be it.

reply to post by Ange7Heart


Well I've always maintained that if quiet and passive selfless males got noticed by women instead of the 'jerks' we could do good even great things and if women chose us over the 'alpha jerks' then society and human nature would become more tolerant and passive.

I'm glad that you've become the person you truly are and even though I dispute the term 'alpha' I respect that you once like I am now was reduced to a social outsider by females because they place such importance on something as superficial as confidence but you have proved that confidence is not necessary in finding contentment in yourself.

As long as women place importance on something as superficial and fleeting as confidence they will never be spiritually evolved and tolerant beings.

Originally posted by fadedface

Originally posted by smyleegrl

SOME women do this. Not all. Just like SOME men are shallow, conceited people who only want shallow, conceited partners.

The thing that disturbs me so much about your posts is that you are insisting that all women are the same. Sure, some are exactly the way you've portrayed them. But not all. Not even the majority of women are like this.

If the only women you see act this way, then you need to broaden your horizons.

Well maybe if just one just one female throughout my entire life had of liked me and shown interest in me and seen past my lack of confidence and social awkwardness then maybe I would think better of women. Was that to much to ask?

It never happened though despite how much I wanted it to and the females ignored and mocked me and gave themselves to the socialable males just because they had the superficial quality of confidence.

edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)

Maybe if you didn't act like a whiny, petulant child that didn't get his way and ooze disdain for women while seething about your problems a woman might be attracted to you. You do know you need to actually approach women and talk to them right? 90% of women won't directly engage any male in "dating" conversation. Sure they'll drop hints, but most women want to be wanted and pursued. They don't want to chase a partner down, it's just not in their nature. You can't whine that you lost if you never even attempted to play the game.

reply to post by fadedface


I was bullied in elementary school. One day I just stood up and said "this ain't happenin' any more" - and it hasn't, with any degree of success, to this very day. One does not have to be domineering nor condescending to make that happen - he simply doesn't allow it any more. That was the day I discovered that no one does anything to you that you don't allow them to do. Now, I understand that there are some people who just can't go that route, for whatever reason. Even those folks, however, determine their own destinies by their own decisions and reactions to events. Life is only 10% what happens to you - the other 90% is how you react to that.

If you've developed the shell as you say, then you have it whipped already. The worst that can happen in approaching women is rejection. If that doesn't matter any more, you just take it and move on to the next. Rejection is not a world-ending event, it's just part of living. If you persist, and move on to the next, and the next, and the next, you will eventually run into one who DOESN'T reject you. may not be "the one", and probably won't be, but it's a start.

Women who "subtly mock" you are not your problem - they have their own issues. Just blow 'em off and move on to the next. They have deeper problems than you, and you don't need the headaches their needy asses bring. If you're a religious man, the Bible says those types are "heaping coals onto their own heads". Religious or not, that tends to be true. It eventually catches up with them, usually when they're too old and grouchy to snag any man any more, and then it burns them down. It's a self-punishing behavior, and there is no particular reason you should make their problems yours, or take their foolishness to heart.

Also, there is no particular reason you SHOULD care what others think about you. If they're your friends, they're not going to think ill, and if they're not, why should their opinions matter anyhow? Doesn't matter whether they're hypocrites or not - that, too, is a self-punishing behavior.

I'm gonna have to git for the time being. I need a nap to keep my old butt from getting cranky and out of sorts, and this storm is threatening to knock me off the internet anyhow. Good luck, and I'll check back in later.

Originally posted by EViLKoNCEPTz

You do know you need to actually approach women and talk to them right? 90% of women won't directly engage any male in "dating" conversation. Sure they'll drop hints, but most women want to be wanted and pursued. They don't want to chase a partner down, it's just not in their nature. You can't whine that you lost if you never even attempted to play the game.

And therein lies one of the problems women expect men to pursue them so they allow men to compete for their attention and they just sit back and wait till the right alpha male (or their approximation of an alpha male) comes along. Which is why even the most shy female with insecurities will have a chance to have a relationship because men will compete even for the less socialable females.

The same cannot be said for socially awkward males like myself who lack confidence we are condemned by women to remain alone.

Women have to realize that some men like myself who have no confidence are not capable of competing or approaching them in any social situation so are we simply to be denied the chance to have a relationship by women? How can they justify this?

It is short sighted, close minded and downright unfair that women do not notice males who lack confidence and the importance they place on males having confidence is disheartening for those males who are bereft of it.

As women are inherently socialable they should go out of their way to give attention to socially awkward males and help them.

I say less deserving people because I've seen it all my life - proud, overconfident and selfish males get the females but quietly spoken and polite males such as I get left behind and slowly fade away. To me its in injustice and I will speak out against any injustice if I see it and in my experiences women have perpetrated a great injustice by rejected the quiet and passive males.

reply to post by fadedface


I could change one word in your statement and it would be true for a lot of women in this world.

"I've seen it all my life- proud, overconfident and selfish females get the males but quietly spoken and polite females get left behind."

All I'm trying to get you to understand is that this rejection comes from both sexes.

I have never been a great beauty. I'm average looking at best. In high school, the only guys who gave me the time of day where the ones who took the time to know me. The stereotypical, confidant, socially prominent males never looked twice.

In college, this started to change. Not because I became a ravishing beauty, but because some guys began to realize that there are other qualities desirable in a life partner besides looks. You've already recognized this, I believe, at least for yourself.

People grow up, mature, and their adolescent attitudes change. Guys look beyond the physical. Girls look beyond the material. It takes time, but it happens.

Keep being your nice, polite, gentle self. I PROMISE you, there are many women out there who would love to be with someone with those qualities. And the positive side of this, those women who choose the quiet types are far less likely to involve their partners in drama.

Originally posted by Ange7Heart
trust me, you will become a womans best friend if you do this. Again, The Alpha Male courses teaches you not to become something you are not, but rather it teaches you to be confident with yourself, no matter who you are or what you did in your past.

Bro, if someone "becomes" an alpha male just to score with chicks, well, he's doing it wrong! That's the result of what one is ("alpha male" or not really doesn't matter), not the objective to aim for.

My wife says no one can "become" an alpha male any more than they can "become" a diesel engine. You either are are you're not. Myself, I dunno. I suppose you could learn to ACT like one, but I don't know what the real net results of that would be. Seems to me that what you project on the outside better have a real close correlation to what you've got on the inside for it to work right. Just being themselves works for most, regardless of "alpha-ism". There aren't really all that many alphas around, yet most folks still manage to find someone to be with even if they're not an "alpha".

reply to post by Ange7Heart


Why thank you!
A true alpha is compassionate, reasonable, rational and maintains control of him/herself.
Bullies, they are weak and afraid. hence why they gravitate towards positions or power and control, just masks how hollow they are.
A good movie for an example: the experiment.
Outlines the difference between bullies and reasonable people.

Originally posted by nenothtu
reply to post by fadedface

 

If you've developed the shell as you say, then you have it whipped already. The worst that can happen in approaching women is rejection. If that doesn't matter any more, you just take it and move on to the next. Rejection is not a world-ending event, it's just part of living. If you persist, and move on to the next, and the next, and the next, you will eventually run into one who DOESN'T reject you. may not be "the one", and probably won't be, but it's a start.

Women who "subtly mock" you are not your problem - they have their own issues. Just blow 'em off and move on to the next. They have deeper problems than you, and you don't need the headaches their needy asses bring. If you're a religious man, the Bible says those types are "heaping coals onto their own heads". Religious or not, that tends to be true. It eventually catches up with them, usually when they're too old and grouchy to snag any man any more, and then it burns them down. It's a self-punishing behavior, and there is no particular reason you should make their problems yours, or take their foolishness to heart.

Also, there is no particular reason you SHOULD care what others think about you. If they're your friends, they're not going to think ill, and if they're not, why should their opinions matter anyhow? Doesn't matter whether they're hypocrites or not - that, too, is a self-punishing behavior.

Well thank you for the good sense and I don't fear rejection I've been ignored by women my entire life so am use to it and expect it now. I just feel compelled to point out the injustice that a lot of women (everyone I have ever seen from my own experiences) ignore quiet and passive males. It doesn't matter to me anymore though I just resent seeing women in relationships with all confident and socially accepted males because it reminds me of what I have been denied and women like to impose their happiness with confident male idiots infront of me to enforce my own sense of isolation and loneliness. I wouldn't feel so alone if didn't have to see women in relationships. Its wicked the way women do this.

Hopefully I will become more like you and resilient to bullying that alpha males and women inflict on me often by their very own existence sometimes. I have to stop caring and give up completely and just accept I do not have what

Originally posted by smyleegrl
I could change one word in your statement and it would be true for a lot of women in this world.

"I've seen it all my life- proud, overconfident and selfish females get the males but quietly spoken and polite females get left behind."

As I keep on pointing out what you fail to grasp is that even the 'quietly spoken and polite' females have more of a chance of a relationship than a 'quietly spoken and polite' male who lacks confidence because although your right a lot of confident males will go for the popular females there will always be males competing for the interest of the quieter and more reserved females as well.

The disparity is that the quiet and polite males will have no females vying for their interest because females expect males to have the confidence to approach them something which quiet males like me cannot do.

You even said in your post some males took the time to get to know you but how many quiet, socially awkward males with no confidence and no social skills did you take the time to get to know yourself. None would be the answer because women don't do this they wait for the males to come to them.