Yes, guns should be illegal. And...

Here are some statistics for you to consider:

Number of deaths for leading causes of death:
Heart disease: 597,689
Cancer: 574,743
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 138,080
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 129,476
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 120,859
Alzheimer's disease: 83,494
Diabetes: 69,071
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 50,476
Influenza and Pneumonia: 50,097
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 38,364

All homicides
Number of deaths: 16,259
Deaths per 100,000 population: 5.3
Firearm homicides
Number of deaths: 11,078
Deaths per 100,000 population: 3.6
Source: Deaths: Final Data for 2010, table 10, 11
www.cdc.gov...

So there you have it, folks. Firearm deaths account for .003% of the population.

Ok. I'm not going to dispute the fact that guns should be outlawed. Let's face it, humanity sucks. We will always try to harm one another, and a gun is the most efficient way to do just that.
So let's make buying or owning a gun illegal, since we are all humans, and as humans we are all .003% likely to kill another human with a firearm. It's that simple.

But the reason I am posting today is not because of guns. It's because of all these other dastardly causes of death in the US. So here is my outline of what we should do to eliminate ALL deaths, and we can all finally tell nature to screw off!

Heart Disease:
Having a heart in this day and age is obviously a big problem. I mean, 600,000 people die every year because they were born with a HEART! I propose we make owning a heart illegal immediately. There is no time to wait! Every day over 1500 people die at the hands of their heart!
Ok, so no more hearts, we all good with that? Let's all get our president to executive order the S--- out of that right away.

Cancer:
Well this one's easy. Let's just outlaw hot dogs, baby powder, bleach, GMO crops, diet cola, artificial sweeteners, air fresheners, shampoo, condensed soup, fried chicken, yogurt, baby food, cigarettes, and THE SUN.

Chronic lower respiratory disease:
I have no idea what that is, and I'm not much in a researching mood. So I'm just gonna plaster "The War On Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease" all over the MSM. It should be eliminated in about a week.

Stroke:
See Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease.

Accidents:
Well darn, it seems like you can regulate almost anything and still people manage to accidentally kill themselves. Um... well... lets eradicate carelessness?

Alzheimer's Disease:
I've been saying for a long time that the brain is the #1 killer. Well I was wrong, because its #6. But still, that's not good. SO NO MORE BRAINS! Duh...

Diabetes:
Sugar? Ok, that's tough, it's in almost everything. How about we make people go through a 6-week mandatory training, annually, so they can earn the freedom to eat sugar. If that's not enough, we'll impose ridiculous taxes so that buying a candy bar means taking out a second mortgage. And you'll also have to register that candy bar with the department of homeland security.

Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis:
See Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease

Influenza & Pneumonia:
Government grants to NyQuil!

Suicide:
Ok we're finally at the end. We are all now protected from everything that could ever possibly harm us. Except... ourselves. It's best just to stop thinking now. Can we make that illegal?

Well that's my say on how to make the world a better place. It's so simple! If we just eliminate every single object that could possibly do us harm, no one would have to die! Yeah AMERIKER!

Also, you have to agree with me, because independent thinking is now a federal offense.

When you get the proscribed number of states to change the US Constitution by ratification of a numbered amendment, you may see that happen. Until then, there is simply no legal, possible avenue in this nation to achieve that end result. Not one.

Thanks goodness, in my personal view of it.

@..and I did get your OP point. It's the concept, title and presentation in general I reply to.

Nice post. Good job in your research. Keep up the Infowar!

reply to post by rockintitz

I missed 'ALCOHOL' in that list you compiled.
Good list though.
Good point.

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


I was being serious though. I like to spend my days living vicariously through totalitarians.

Nice post

Guns should not be illegal, they should be mandatory

So let's make buying or owning a gun illegal, since we are all humans, and as humans we are all .003% likely to kill another human with a firearm. It's that simple.

But, criminals don't follow laws.

Why should I lose my ability to protect myself (and family and property) against them?

It would be nice if it could be that simple, but, that is just not the case.

As for the rest of your post, death is a part of life. People spend an incredible amount of time running from something that simply cannot be escaped from. I am not saying that we shouldn't care about health, because, we really should. It just amazes me the way everyone freaks about it when it is a totally natural and normal part of the cycle.

reply to post by butcherguy


Those were the top 10 causes of death listed on the website I used.

reply to post by daryllyn


I wish you read the whole OP

reply to post by rockintitz


Never mind.

reply to post by daryllyn


It just seemed like you stopped right there. I'm really glad you didn't take my post seriously.

Originally posted by rockintitz
reply to post by butcherguy

 

Those were the top 10 causes of death listed on the website I used.

Not faulting you.

It says here that alcohol causes 75,000 deaths per year.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which published the study, estimated that 34,833 people in 2001 died from cirrhosis of the liver, cancer and other diseases linked to drinking too much beer, wine and spirits. Another 40,933 died from car crashes and other mishaps caused by excessive alcohol use.

The CDC should include it.

reply to post by rockintitz


SnF op, brilliant!

Though I am of the oppinion banning death by any means is more likely to result in the desired outcome.

Fricking brilliant!

reply to post by rockintitz


Great post a good job at making people realize just how backwards thinking government is in terms of percentages of deaths and how non relevant the regulations of gun usage would come be to be if passed!

Think about how irrelevant the math of gun control would come to be in the future, if passed. We currently suffer a. 003% chance of dying at the use of a gun. All the while, we currently witness Autism in children spike to an alarming 1 in 110 children... that equals to a close 1 full %. Not to mention that the care taking of Autistic children affects the lives of parents of these children as well. That adds another 1.5% of life affect to the parents of the already 1% of children dealing with Autism. So, we all have a 2.5% chance in our lives, that our lives could be drastically altered towards hardships by procreating. Yeah, let's ignore finding a cause for this alarming statistic so we can prevent a 003% chance of our children being affected by a bullet, says government. Of course grieving occurs when a child dies by bullets, but does the parents of that children have to raise the death of that child going forward?

Government is a joke to say the least. To think we vote these uneducated, uncaring clowns, with red and blue gang flags into positions of authority is all the more laughable... laughable to which voters that support them should feel embarrassed about. Government knows they are a joke, and that's why they chose guns to go after rather than something that kills us at a higher rate. They feel the pressure of 'We The People' waking up to these facts, and they are setting up their defenses to the rise of the people.

reply to post by butcherguy


Hmmm. Thats strange that they didn't include that.

Originally posted by rockintitz
reply to post by butcherguy

 

Hmmm. Thats strange that they didn't include that.

Yeah, I'm not sure what is up with that. They might be listing cirrhosis and auto accidents that are linked to alcohol as just accidents and disease.
But then they should list a gunshot wound to the heart as 'heart failure', shots to the liver as 'liver failure' and so on.... Right?

reply to post by rockintitz


I must disagree.

Very simply, if you outlaw deaths, only outlaws will die!

Just make dying punishable by, um. . . death! (But make it a very slow death, like "death by eating dry toast!" or "death by watching re-runs of Honey Boo-Boo")

reply to post by butcherguy


Of course! And I would also like the state to pay me damages for all the stupid stuff I do when I'm drunk. Lol

reply to post by rockintitz

All homicides Number of deaths:
16,259 Deaths per 100,000 population: 5.3
Firearm homicides Number of deaths:
11,078 Deaths per 100,000 population: 3.6

If we made being an ahole to other people a crime, a lot of these deaths and criminal records could have been avoided.



Ban bullying, not Guns.

reply to post by Theflyingweldsman

Good toon.

As a libertarian, I want to go on the record as being pro-SKUB.