If you love your lover, would be ok with them having sex with another if it gave them joy?

reply to post by arpgme

 

First off, do you believe that "Love" can be "Jealousy"? Because they are two completely different things. Love is caring for the person and wanting the other person to be happy. Jealousy is greed, wanting the person for yourself regardless of how they feel.

In your own words, "Love is caring for the person and wanting the other person to be happy."

If a man loves his girl and she loves him back, they would care for each other and want their other to be happy. Now if one says, 'I want to have sex with another, for my own pleasure, you should love me and considered my feelings', they become a hypocrite; not caring for their significant other and seeking to pleasure their own selves.

If they truly loved their significant other, sex would not be important to them; it would be as, "You are not pleasuring me enough, I will seek it elsewhere" in their heart.

That is not love. That is selfishness.

If both people are in a open relationship and both can have sex with different people, than their is no harm. but thats just my opinion. But if its just one person that is benefiting then HELL NO its not okay.

reply to post by arpgme


I don't speak from experience but I know many who have. It has ruined every relationship! If they want to sleep with someone else, get rid of them now and save yourself the pain later that will be a whole lot worse. Loyalty is necessary and if you cant make your love happy in bed then they wont be happy with the whole relationship even if they wont admit it.

reply to post by arpgme


Since they make toys and machines that can fill that need, it is more than just sexual pleasure. End of story.

It has nothing to do with love, at all to let your partner sleep with another and or be encouraged to do so by whatever means or theories. Sex outside the laws of God and the Creation is based on lust. Now you might disagree,which is fine, but wait a minute. Could you cease to have sex with your partner, and still "love" him or her? I thought so.
Lust is not love. The elite wanna be rulers have done alot to instill this mentality.

Human is designed by creation to be monogamous and to be true to one mate. It is selfdestructive the other way. When a society have families that are crumbling that society is on the vedge to fall. Look what happened with Rome. The same is happening now.

It is against the laws of God and Creation to have sex outside procreation,and with your wife/husband.
www.phoenixsourcedistributors.com journal 27

reply to post by arpgme


I don't believe in monogamy for the purpose of sex. SO yeah, I'm totally fine with it. Actually my husband and I have always had an open sexual relationship and we've been together for more than a decade.

Emotional and live in Monogamy I believe in entirely, I don't require any such simulation outside our relationship.

But no one person can satisfy your physical needs for the rest of your life. It's just dishonest to say one person can.

~Tenth

This lifestyle is incompatible for most without it provoking raw emotion. For you few, that's how you play the game. Not all people share your thoughts on this matter. And not all people share standards regarding love as everyone is in their own right, to set "their own" as being committed or not. Assuming this is your stance at the helm of life, rolling the dice on human emotion is a dangerous game. One day you'll open a door you can't shut and come across someone who'd rather be carried by six than tried by twelve.

Yes, I am the epitome of selfishness and will continue to be so without the feeling of regret.

reply to post by arpgme


Technically... sure. If truth be known I have some evolving to do on this question becausr my ego and biology want to kill interlopers... besides... swingers are sleazy.

Their joy may turn out to be your next STD. It's not worth it. It's disrespectful to their body and yours. I could never support such a stance. People should be prepared for the consequences of their behavior. Hope you don't go down that road.

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by arpgme

 

I don't believe in monogamy for the purpose of sex. SO yeah, I'm totally fine with it. Actually my husband and I have always had an open sexual relationship and we've been together for more than a decade.

Emotional and live in Monogamy I believe in entirely, I don't require any such simulation outside our relationship.

But no one person can satisfy your physical needs for the rest of your life. It's just dishonest to say one person can.

~Tenth

I agree with you completely, my wife and I are the same. I am no sooo macho to admit that I am the end all be all, I own her heart, she owns mine, anything else is meaningless fun

reply to post by arpgme


Only if my partner wanted to have sex with other women and I was allowed to watch.. That's fine with me..

It's quite simply a delicious wickedness............... and it will end in destruction.
And No, It's wrong. But if your looking for justification from others.......... I'm sure you will find it. Beware.

reply to post by arpgme


No.


The way I understand and experience love may be different than the average person. I believe a spousal relationship is made of many different elements, not simply love. Saying you love someone, but desire to have sex outside the relationship, is not a truly committed relationship with faith.

A relationship where both people are truly in love with each other leaves no room for straying, sexually, outside of the union. This is because there are many different elements required to sustain a long term relationship with someone you are in love with, not simply a 'plutonic', or a 'puppy' love

Trust in one of the most important foundations a lasting relationship needs. It takes a lot of trust to bare your soul to someone and to have sex with them as well. Working to be sure your partner is always happy - at least by the actions you control - is a responsibility each half of the team must take on.

Respect and consideration of your partner's emotions are not the only aspects one spouse must focus on, they also need to respect and consider their own outlook and emotions.

It is probably the case where the person who is requesting an affair has never reached the same level of commitment or love the other half has. It could be a sign that the straying partner may be a manipulative user.

Saying things like, 'I love her and love seeing her happy, even if it means sex with someone else', could be a signal that the person allowing the affair is co-dependent and they do not qualify their own emotions against the desire of their partner.

Another point could be made that the person seeking the affair is a controller who never considers the emotions of their partner, only their own desires, regardless of anything else.

This entire scenario sounds like the product of a relationship where one party is co-dependent and the other is a controller/manipulator.

Personally, it's a first-time and last-time type of deal for me;

~~THE FIRST-TIME my GF/fiance/wife mentions the desire to have an affair will be
~~THE LAST-TIME we will talk ( . )

reply to post by Plotus


Well in this thread at least it seems almost everyone is agreeing with you it's wrong.

I very much don't agree.

It's as right or wrong as you believe it to be. Each person and each relationship gets to decide that for themselves.

A relationship means both parties need to see eye to eye on whether it's right or wrong. People that want a monogamous relationship should be sure that's communicated when forming a relationship. Likewise, the polyamours should do the same. Communication and honesty.

reply to post by arpgme


That whole premise kind of sounds like a rationalization in order to convince yourself that it's okay to cheat. Because here's the thing...if your partner really loves you, they won't want to sleep with someone else, because they wouldn't want to hurt you like that.

Part of love between partners is the intimacy of sex....sharing that with someone other than your partner kind of detracts from that intimacy don't you think?

reply to post by arpgme


Your wrong. In-fact it is pretty arrogant of someone to tell people what love actually is. From reading some of your posts what you're describing is more of a view of what love is or maybe more of a character trait.
Personally when i love someone i don't fill the need to have other multiple partners just for the "joy" of sex. I am pretty fulfilled with my TRUE love. Sure i find other people attractive but if i were to kiss another person I'd feel pretty # and uncomfortable.
I think that what the majority of people feel, if it is true love why anyone else?


ETA: i know there are some people out there that like to swing and what not. And i don't think there is anything wrong with 2 consenting adults wanting to spice up there sex life by playing out some fantasies with other consenting adults.

To be honest the first post did get me thinking, although personally my stance stays the same. Also I suppose it depends on the people in question and how much they relate physicality and love, whether they see sex with their partner as a 'bond' or a 'perk'.

I guess it's possible to have sex with other people even if in love with your partner but it seems in our society a majority of people show their love and commitment to a single person by willingly devoting themselves sexually to that person.

Personally I can't agree with it though, especially as someone who has been cheated on before. If it's a mutual decision by the two people then it's their business and benefit as otherwise they would most probably be unhappy together.

Originally posted by arpgme
reply to post by hhcore

 

It is special because the bond is with that other which is the whole point of the relationship, even though sex is happening with others, there is no bond like that one person... so yes, it is special.

You are just greedy/jealous and wanting to control a human for yourself alone.

That may be the case, then they can split. I have an opinion to the question at hand, and I voiced it. At least I'm not going to piss backwards and say "yeah, you know what? You're right."

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