Psychological Child Abuse?

OK, bear with me everyone. It's my first thread, so I'm sure I'll get better at this in time.

Anyone hear about the 6 year old "transgendered" boy/ girl who's parents are suing the school system, because "he" can no longer use the girls bathroom? Yes folks, you read that correctly. Apparently this child has been gravitating toward being a girl since he was 18 months old. At the age of 4 he apparently asked his mother when he is going to the doctor to get fixed, so he can be a girl. Check out the link and watch the video and let me know what you think. I'm sure we should be able to have a lively discussion about this.

www.cnn.com...

My thoughts here are:
1) Is this psycological abuse by the parents?
2) A 4 year old does not possess the mental maturity to be able to choose his gender.
3) Perhaps the mother has pressured the child into believing he is transgender?
4) Should the school system be forced to let the child use the girls bathroom/ locker rooms?
5) What are the ramifications for the rest of society?
6) What constitutes psychological abuse?

Personally, after watching the video and reading the article, I think this mother is delusional. It's the parent's actions that have caused their child to believe he is, indeed, transgender. How could a child of 4 years old have any idea about a sex change operation, unless his mother had explained it to him? To me this all points to psychological abuse and I can't believe the parents are getting away with it! There's just so much here that I don't even to know where to begin, but I'm sure we can sort this all out together.

If this is in the wrong forum, sorry. And if it's already posted, then delete it.

reply to post by chrome413

I couldn't agree more. Sexuality and Gender identity is a topic well in range for the maturity and intellect of the parents. In the under-developed mind of a 4 year old?? What place does ANYTHING relating to sexuality have?? The story said if the efforts to settle this don't work the family can always still sue. I wonder if that hasn't been the whole point? Their 4 year old son represents a jackpot from a jury verdict or settlement and too bad that his self image is ruined...perhaps for life.

Maybe transgender is a born thing. That's a very valid area of research and the jury is still out by the reports I have read on the genetics of it. However, there is NO excuse for introducing such heavy topics and life changing decisions to the life of a toddler. This is just wrong.

reply to post by chrome413


More than likely, in a few years, the boy will outgrow this phase. During that time he will feel bad because he feels that he will be letting down his parents in some way. The parents need to get their heads out of their asss because they are damaging the child more than they could imagine by pushing their PC crap on everyone. Kids shouldn't be used to make political statements. They are incapable of understanding the implications of what is going on around them. The kid gets a bunch of attention now because of whats going on. What do you think will happen when the child decides he's done acting like a girl?

MOTF!

P.S. the parents should be ashamed of themselves for using their child to push their social agenda. They represent what is wrong with parents in general and why the youth of today doesn't care to listen nor give a crap about authority.

reply to post by MessOnTheFED!


Bingo! That's exactly what I'm thinking, but having trouble putting into words.

ive heard all this before first hand,
Let me try to lay it out to you guy's.

They dont outgrow it lol Did you outgrow being a hetro male?

I am a pre op transsexual have been all my life.
i grew up in a time where people hated me for who i was.
it's more open now but still a lot of ignorance on the subject.

Unlike the brave girl in the story who has gut's if you ask me..i had to go my entire life until 18 not even knowing why i thought and acted like a woman.
Everyone thought i was a homosexual but i knew i didnt like guys.i was attracted to only women.
But not 1 thing i do is a guy or man thing.
I played with dolls the whole 9 yard's.
So dont think cause a a kid is 6 year's old they dont know what they are.
A boy who's a boy thinks he is a boy regardless of how much you say otherwise.
and vise versa..

reply to post by Kentucky75


I agree completely. My thoughts are in this thread, now closed. www.abovetopsecret.com...

It amazing how many people are uneducated and unwilling to learn more about the subject... because they think it's some sort of "taboo". My hope is that, as we progress, we will open our minds and hearts and listen to and respect our children and their self-knowledge.

Yea,I remember two points in my youth when I wanted to be a boy first when I was 5yrs old. I was a tomboy and hung out with boys and wanted to be one of them. Second, was in my teens I sort of was the same. I had fantasises about being a man. Anyway.I think it was due to just observing the other and having an active imagination.I did grow out of it. But had my parents listened to me they may have followed the route that the above parents did. Then I would never have had the chance to understand what it was to be a woman.

I mean I think we understand our gender as we go. Its a long journey at first. And sexuality and our ways of relating to the world is part of it, also our inner feelings.

Its too much of a responsibility to put on a parent. That like me their child grew out of the desire and then they deprived that child of their born gender.

Childhood and teens is painful for many not just trans. For a myrid of reasons. So that isnt a justified reason to go ahead and do it.


...

reply to post by Kentucky75


I'm sorry that you have been bullied for who you are. That is wrong. People SHOULD be able to express themselves however they want. I completely believe that. However, you say that this isn't a phase because it wasn't a phase with you. How do you know what this little boy will think in 5 years? You can't possibly know, because you aren't him and you can't read the future. So, with that said, why should the school have to build a new restroom? Obviously, there is a boys ang girls restroom for a reason. Obviously, parents dont want a little boy going to the restroom with their little girl. Obviously, using the nurse and staff restroom isn't good enough for the little boy. Whats the answer? What about when another kid wants the same? Does every school now have to have a unisex restroom? How much do you think that will cost taxpayers?

Maybe the parents should fork over money for a sex change operation for the little boy if they are so sure he wants to be a girl. I know, thats about as outlandish as schools having to construct a unisex restroom for a kid that could change his mind at any moment. That kid isn't any more special than the next kid and if the parents don't agree with the facilities that the school has, then they need to homeschool him/her.

MOTF!

reply to post by FreedomEntered

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
But had my parents listened to me they may have followed the route that the above parents did. Then I would never have had the chance to understand what it was to be a woman.

The feelings of the child in this story were not fleeting thoughts. It was a constant and consistent knowledge through the years that the child had and she was evaluated by professionals.

Its too much of a responsibility to put on a parent.

Agreed. That's why they sought professional opinions.

So that isnt a justified reason to go ahead and do it.

Do what? They haven't done anything.

I think it's disingenuous and a little intellectually dishonest to judge a family and a little girl, based on an article on CNN.

Which might I remind you does the best it can to create the most controversial material in order to generate viewership and therefore advertising revenue.

We aren't a part of these people's lives, or their child's.

We need to take a step back and perhaps agree that we have not enough information to start judging folk.

~Tenth

This is pretty creepy. He's six years old for Christ's sake. Most kids that age don't even really have a concept of gender identity. It's clearly being pushed on him by parents that wanted a girl instead.

Also, he should be using the male washroom. It's quite simple really; if you have a bird and two eggs you use the men's loo. If you have a pie you use the girl's loo. Gender is determined by anatomy. Try walking into a women's washroom if you're a man and saying "Well I feel like a woman!" I'm willing to bet that it wouldn't reduce the amount of screams and slaps you get.

reply to post by Xaphan

Originally posted by Xaphan
This is pretty creepy. He's four years old for Christ's sake.

She is six.

It's clearly being pushed on him by parents that wanted a girl instead.

They have 2 other girls.

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
I think it's disingenuous and a little intellectually dishonest to judge a family and a little girl, based on an article on CNN.

He isn't a girl...

Six-year-old Coy Mathis was born male, and thus presumably has all the appendages males tend to have. The difference is that Mathis wears girls’ clothes all the time.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
She is six.

Apologies. I got mixed up with something somebody else wrote in the other thread.

um kids are gender aware. You know some kids do have little " partners" at school around the age of 5yrs even younger. So thats nonsense.

But again I ask what about kids like me who wanted to be the opposite gender for quite a while during school and then grew out of it. You have to be extremely careful, this is afterall a rare issue.

reply to post by FreedomEntered

Originally posted by FreedomEntered
But again I ask what about kids like me who wanted to be the opposite gender for quite a while during school and then grew out of it.

Did you cry to your parents, telling them you were afraid to grow up and get breasts? Were you riddled with anxiety about it for YEARS? Did you dress and act like a boy? Were you psychologically evaluated by professionals, like the girl in this story?

Or was your experience more like "there were two points" in your childhood that you wanted to be a boy? Fleeting and passing. There's a HUGE difference.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Yes,I cried to my parents . I used to tie down my breasts when growing as a teen with clingfilm.. I wouldnt go out for months on end. I couldnt deal with starting a period, so I would literally stop them through the power of my mind. I had a depression .So eventually I became quite ill. This was when I was 13yrs and I used to dress up in boys clothes and want to be a guy.


Wouldnt say this was fleeting probably lasted for 7yrs.

I grew out of it.

reply to post by FreedomEntered


So, the parents in this story are doing nothing different by allowing their child to express her identity. What's the difference? What are they doing that would prevent this little girl from growing up to be a man (if she grows out of it)?

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Okay, they should listen to him/her but they shouldnt be how can I say like where they encourage it. Because there is a thin line.

You know parents can be pressurising too. Like to choose this or that. Parents tend to put pressures on children.

But from my experience Im saying that it can be something that one grows out of.

I know a few transgendered people and some who want the " change" they are adults and I think its a better age to make such decisions.

They should also give this child alot of understanding.

But also teach them patience. Like when they have the op they can use the girls/ladies toilet. Hes obviously excited to be a girl, hence wanting to do all of the things they do.

Lets say Im about to play a cricket match. Its right and proper, that if I am carrying a baseball bat, I have turned up to the wrong ball game, and will be required to equip myself for the game being played on the pitch, or get the hell off the field.

Similarly, which toilet one uses, is about what trouser equipment one happens to be packing, not which floor of the department store does the best job of servicing ones needs in terms of clothes and accessories. If, to put it baldly, one has a penis, one should be using the mens room, and thats the end of it. Until this child becomes an adult, and has something done about the offending article, that is the way it will remain.

That is not discrimination. That is the same rules applying to everyone equally.

lol they are spoiling their child. Bottom line. You cant go to a school and complain about everything just because your child demands. You have to say " no". Because school is no easy ride for any child. School is about following rules.