The Legend of Zelda Conspiracy

reply to post by pgobbs2277


It appears that you have chosen to ignore the post I made and not respond. Regardless, I will continue to try to communicate with you and express my opinions here.

I don't doubt that your feelings and experiences are real. I do however think you've closed yourself off to other interpretations of these events. Thus you are the creator of the reality that you are perceiving.

You've expressed many times that you "KNOW" what it is all about. You seem to think that you judgment on these matters is infallible. I would then suggest that you need to quit blaming all these external forces and look within yourself.

Is it possible that these "demons" are actually part of your own inner self? Perhaps you need to accept the fact that you are not perfect. Every human being has both good and bad within them. The longer you try to deny and suppress your own inner demons the more they will begin to destroy you from within.

Forgive yourself, admit that you have faults and make mistakes. Forgive Carissa for her mistakes and the burden you are carrying will soon lighten the load. It's not ATS's or it's members fault that you posted the links to youtube.

It's not our fault that you basically dared, taunted and begged to be ridiculed. You said you could take it. You said you would ignore it. But most of your responses have been focused on the negativity directed at you. You have spent time and energy acting defensive and denying the fact that you brought this upon yourself.

You have an opportunity to acknowledge this or continue to deny it. You don't appear to be open to even the members who have offered polite, constructive criticism. You befriended this girl and then, in my opinion, you betrayed her trust when she confided in you. When she expressed and revealed some of her personal secrets to you. You decided to out her to her family and it backfired on you.

I can relate to some of what you are trying to convey. But you should try to be more receptive and open to the people trying to offer you their advice and opinions. I think you are ostracizing yourself here and beginning to play the role of a victim. I don't believe you are a victim of emotional vampires. I believe you are torturing yourself.

I am torn between wanting to sympathize with your emotional and spiritual state. While at the same time wanting to remind you that you have a majority of the responsibility for how these events have played out. People can only affect you to the extent which you allow. You need to accept your part in all of this.

Clearly the majority of people here believe you have not behaved in an appropriate manner. We are not all wrong. You have absolutely made mistakes during this thread and during your relationship with this girls online persona. It's not right of you to begin to call people vampires. You allowed yourself to get carried away within your own fantasy.

Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant.

I will listen and open up to what you have to say. But it should work both ways. You should try to open up and listen to what we here have to say also. It's truly for your own benefit. No one here is 100% correct or 100% wrong. The devil lies in the details and the truth shall set you free brother.

Let go of the ego and the defensiveness and allow the truth the flow freely.

You need to get some help... You just ramble and ramble on about things that are irrelevant to the story which clearly shows you are delusional.

Originally posted by stutteringp0et
I'm not reading through pages of replies....I couldn't even make it to the end of your second post - sorry. Not because it wasn't interesting, not because I think you're crazy (I do), but because it's painful to see someone do this to their self.

Make no mistake - you're doing it to yourself. I know, because for years I did it to myself. Occasionally I catch myself looking up that special person and I can feel the depression creep closer, as if it wants to take up residence again. Depression plays tricks on your mind. You'll grasp at straws looking for meaning, looking for signposts that signal that it's all part of a greater plan that you must suffer. Well, you don't.

First, stop cyber-stalking this girl. Stop the notifications that she's "gone live" or whatever. Stop writing her, and stop obsessing over her. It's never going to happen. She never wrote you back. Think about that, but don't let it rule your life. She is one of a million girls who aren't interested in you. And if she isn't interested in you, then she was never the right girl.

Second, stop smoking pot. It's a depressant. You're already low, don't make it worse. Maybe later, when you're free of depression, you can spark up again, but for now you should give it up. Don't think that I don't understand, because I do.

Third, work toward some short term goals. Things that aren't easy like tying your shoes - but things you can be proud of accomplishing. This may sound silly - but each successfully achieved goal will build a little more self confidence.

Fourth, think of some long term goals. You don't necessarily need to start working on them - just figure out what they are. At some point, you'll have achieved several short term goals and built up some self confidence - and you'll just decide to take on one of these larger goals.

Fifth, make some friends. I don't mean people online - anonymous liars hiding behind webcams, I mean real people that you have something in common with. Do something to meet people. Chances are that when you get yourself out there, you'll meet the right girl, and Carissa will become a vague memory.

Right, and because you didn't finish reading my post or any of the necessary replies, I have to hold your hand during this part.

I haven't seen Carissa on stickam in YEARS. That's the "went live" part, secondly, that's what most of this is, a recount of the past years, finally divulging a conspiracy I kept just to myself for so long (and a few others).

If you DID indeed continue the rest of my post or any of the replies, you would have seen that I have been moved on essentially, and just trying to conclude this whole thing properly, one of those methods being in fact posting here as an outlet and a finale of sorts.

I did at the end say, which you didn't bother to read, you reply without bothering to read the whole thing.
Or any replies.


Oh god, not with the Crazy term again. the term crazy is ENOUGH to drive a sane person Crazy. Hearing the word so many times, I'm desensitized to it. It's just a random assortment of silly sounding letters that really mean nothing, and I mean this to the utmost.

None of you are sane, none of US are sane. You have *some* stability, you have *some* comfort, but if you were to ever really tap into yourselves, you'd find you are not sane whatsoever. "Crazy" and "sane" are just guidelines you find suitable for yourself to describe and categorize those you encounter.

Leave me alone, poster. Don't neglect to read my entire post and the following replies and then try to give me advice.

For the last time, this is a RECOUNT.

I am FULL and ready to move on from this. I don't even have feelings of obsession, if I ever did, I don't know. I, more, have feelings of, I'd like to get this off my chest and move on.

Like you're suggesting. And that's WHY I'm posting it. I didn't and wouldn't dare post this in the midst of any involvement in it, for these exact reasons.



Your post is sincere enough that it deserves a response, but shallow enough that it deserves some correction.

Originally posted by quietlearner
OP if you still think that the connections are real and are set up by an external force
then you are not "moving on" you are just hiding it deep in your head
I'm not a psychologist but it can't be healthy to try to shove something like this and ignore it

You emphasize many times that you are moving on, can you explain in more detail what that entails?
what mental, behavioral or lifestyle changes have you gone through to feel like you are moving on?

I can tell you of plenty! But, I'll just tell you that it's mostly a gut feeling and a surefire readiness and happiness most here seem to neglect that I have which is helping me to move on.


AND FOR THE LAST TIME, well, probably not...


Just because I'm ready to move on, doesn't mean what has happened to me isn't real!!!

And that's the whole reason I'm here, ONCE AGAIN, is to tell you of these things!




You are saying the same thing that I'm arguing against "Just because you still think what happened to you is real, that means you are obsessed and not moving on" ABSURD.

This goes, again, right back to the mountain analogy me and another poster have discussed.

Whether I am ready to move on or not has NO factor in whether what occurred to me is real or not.


I do, MILDLY, see what you mean, in the sense, that, one ready to move on tries to forget of such things.

But that's all I see of what you're talking about.



This, posting this, was part of my recovery process, one of the final steps. And I was and still am feeling well about it.


So don't doubt that one bit.

Originally posted by jacktorrance
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

Thank you for your reply.

Off topic - Everything you type is very well thought out and you seem like a really genuine person. I appreciate that about your posts.

On topic - You're right. I did omit the fact that she admitted it. I didn't intend to leave that out, and I did read that part of it. I think that perhaps a reason why it didn't occur to me to include it was because I didn't see the evidence for it from her side. Not that I don't believe she did admit to it - I do. Even without having anything to go on besides your word, I believe you.

I don't know why exactly she admitted to it, or in what way, but is it possible that she was just playing along? I do mean this with the utmost respect to you, but with her being young (18, while technically an adult, is still young. Hell, I'm 25 and still young minded...) do you think she simply didn't want to confront the things you were telling her, and maybe she decided an easier way to approach it would be through acknowledging everything as the truth?

Of course, I have no way of knowing. I didn't see the posts between you two, I didn't see the interaction or the way she admitted it, so I may be way off base. I'm just thinking back to when I was a high school girl and terrified of any kind of confrontation. To the point that yes, I would admit to things that I didn't necessarily feel, just so I could avoid it. Is that a possibility?

I'm not trying to get you to evaluate this. While I am going to school for psychology, that's not my purpose on this thread. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was trying to examine you and/or the situation or make you take a look at it from an outsiders point of view. I just think that your entire experience is fascinating on many different levels. I'm just trying to talk to you as a person, not someone that is sitting back on their sofa trying to sort your life out.

Your post resonated with me and made me want to respond. I think it resonated with everyone that responded for different reasons - some because they wanted to poke fun, others because they have been where you've been, or at least somewhere similar. I think for me, it's because I've done a couple of the things you typed about. Granted, the connections I've found have been purely through me having fun with it - the whole Pandora, switching to the random song, yep I do that even now to answer questions for myself - but I've had some bizarre things occur that didn't feel like coincidence.

Just last night I was reading a thread on another website, completely unrelated to ATS in a forum that has nothing to do with the supernatural. A man's name was brought up and I had never heard of him, so I googled him. He was a famous author from some years back. Well, I forgot about it and then today when I get on ATS, the first forum I check out has a response from someone with this man's exact picture as their avatar. It kind of blew my mind, considering the first time I ever saw this guys pic was last night, and now - boom, here it is again. So, I get it.

And I understand psi vamps and things like that. People that just drain you of your entire lifeblood. People that make you weak, emotionally, physically. I have known quite a few of them. They're frustrating and I try to distance myself from them entirely. If you feel that's what she is, why pursue it? I mean, you don't seem to be now, but why for so long?

I genuinely appreciate this response! And not even for the validation, but for the sheer willingness to admit to the paranormal "coincidences".

Absolutely I know what you mean, and I believe what occurred with you was no coincidence. Imagine if that very type of thing happened to you everyday for a matter of months, but regarding a SINGLE person. That is the type of stuff I'm talking about! Thank you. This is the type of responses I was looking for. Sincerity and honesty.


Now, if It old you the way in which she admitted it, and you could read the exact letter she wrote me, and you could have lived through it, you would know that it wasn't just a "highschool play along" avoidance like you mentioned.

Poster, hear me, I am very sensitive to such things!!! I don't push people nor want to burden people in such a way.

Im not a high school type bully, nor was I in high school, I was more sensitive to the girls who were being pushed around by the jocks, etc....

Or do I even follow such mindset. If I ever picked up on such a thing, that's when I pick up my things and move on. But it didn't happen. This person kept calling *me* back, not the other way around.

That's what so many fail to realize, but also because I left it out for the most part. I wanted to see what people would say at face value regarding "my experience" not so much what I knew that she was doing on her end.

Originally posted by jacktorrance
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

Thank you for your reply.

Off topic - Everything you type is very well thought out and you seem like a really genuine person. I appreciate that about your posts.

On topic - You're right. I did omit the fact that she admitted it. I didn't intend to leave that out, and I did read that part of it. I think that perhaps a reason why it didn't occur to me to include it was because I didn't see the evidence for it from her side. Not that I don't believe she did admit to it - I do. Even without having anything to go on besides your word, I believe you.

I don't know why exactly she admitted to it, or in what way, but is it possible that she was just playing along? I do mean this with the utmost respect to you, but with her being young (18, while technically an adult, is still young. Hell, I'm 25 and still young minded...) do you think she simply didn't want to confront the things you were telling her, and maybe she decided an easier way to approach it would be through acknowledging everything as the truth?

Of course, I have no way of knowing. I didn't see the posts between you two, I didn't see the interaction or the way she admitted it, so I may be way off base. I'm just thinking back to when I was a high school girl and terrified of any kind of confrontation. To the point that yes, I would admit to things that I didn't necessarily feel, just so I could avoid it. Is that a possibility?

I'm not trying to get you to evaluate this. While I am going to school for psychology, that's not my purpose on this thread. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was trying to examine you and/or the situation or make you take a look at it from an outsiders point of view. I just think that your entire experience is fascinating on many different levels. I'm just trying to talk to you as a person, not someone that is sitting back on their sofa trying to sort your life out.

Your post resonated with me and made me want to respond. I think it resonated with everyone that responded for different reasons - some because they wanted to poke fun, others because they have been where you've been, or at least somewhere similar. I think for me, it's because I've done a couple of the things you typed about. Granted, the connections I've found have been purely through me having fun with it - the whole Pandora, switching to the random song, yep I do that even now to answer questions for myself - but I've had some bizarre things occur that didn't feel like coincidence.

Just last night I was reading a thread on another website, completely unrelated to ATS in a forum that has nothing to do with the supernatural. A man's name was brought up and I had never heard of him, so I googled him. He was a famous author from some years back. Well, I forgot about it and then today when I get on ATS, the first forum I check out has a response from someone with this man's exact picture as their avatar. It kind of blew my mind, considering the first time I ever saw this guys pic was last night, and now - boom, here it is again. So, I get it.

And I understand psi vamps and things like that. People that just drain you of your entire lifeblood. People that make you weak, emotionally, physically. I have known quite a few of them. They're frustrating and I try to distance myself from them entirely. If you feel that's what she is, why pursue it? I mean, you don't seem to be now, but why for so long?

With that said, I've known this person 3 years. I'll state this again, but all of you have been aware of this case for maybe almost 48 hours. I've been aware of this case for 3 years, and let me re-iterate to you that I am one of the most skeptical ATS'ers of all!!!

Even threads that sound like mine I am skeptical of, I am one of the people sitting back on ATS reading all the main threads that all of us read thinking "oh gosh.. this can't be true.. waiting for the rationale....." more than MOST posters.

But with that said I can't ignore truth or facts, or things that are too overly coincidental to be coincidences.

I have talked to this person many times, I've received many disturbing letters from them over the last few years.

Trust me (not that you know enough about me), if it were that, what you said it was... just a "willingness to agree so I would leave her alone" I would have been very sensitive to such a thing and gladly left her alone.

I absolutely hate pursuing or pestering anyone who isn't interested in me. This happens with me and many girls, they show no interest, I have no trouble moving on. Even ones that astound me. That's boring to say the least.

I urge you to consider that I wasn't the stalker. Not that she was either, but I am much too founded in my thoughts and beliefs to pursue someone who has no interest in me. Many like that, but it's a waste of time to me.

Originally posted by jacktorrance
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

Thank you for your reply.

Off topic - Everything you type is very well thought out and you seem like a really genuine person. I appreciate that about your posts.

On topic - You're right. I did omit the fact that she admitted it. I didn't intend to leave that out, and I did read that part of it. I think that perhaps a reason why it didn't occur to me to include it was because I didn't see the evidence for it from her side. Not that I don't believe she did admit to it - I do. Even without having anything to go on besides your word, I believe you.

I don't know why exactly she admitted to it, or in what way, but is it possible that she was just playing along? I do mean this with the utmost respect to you, but with her being young (18, while technically an adult, is still young. Hell, I'm 25 and still young minded...) do you think she simply didn't want to confront the things you were telling her, and maybe she decided an easier way to approach it would be through acknowledging everything as the truth?

Of course, I have no way of knowing. I didn't see the posts between you two, I didn't see the interaction or the way she admitted it, so I may be way off base. I'm just thinking back to when I was a high school girl and terrified of any kind of confrontation. To the point that yes, I would admit to things that I didn't necessarily feel, just so I could avoid it. Is that a possibility?

I'm not trying to get you to evaluate this. While I am going to school for psychology, that's not my purpose on this thread. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was trying to examine you and/or the situation or make you take a look at it from an outsiders point of view. I just think that your entire experience is fascinating on many different levels. I'm just trying to talk to you as a person, not someone that is sitting back on their sofa trying to sort your life out.

Your post resonated with me and made me want to respond. I think it resonated with everyone that responded for different reasons - some because they wanted to poke fun, others because they have been where you've been, or at least somewhere similar. I think for me, it's because I've done a couple of the things you typed about. Granted, the connections I've found have been purely through me having fun with it - the whole Pandora, switching to the random song, yep I do that even now to answer questions for myself - but I've had some bizarre things occur that didn't feel like coincidence.

Just last night I was reading a thread on another website, completely unrelated to ATS in a forum that has nothing to do with the supernatural. A man's name was brought up and I had never heard of him, so I googled him. He was a famous author from some years back. Well, I forgot about it and then today when I get on ATS, the first forum I check out has a response from someone with this man's exact picture as their avatar. It kind of blew my mind, considering the first time I ever saw this guys pic was last night, and now - boom, here it is again. So, I get it.

And I understand psi vamps and things like that. People that just drain you of your entire lifeblood. People that make you weak, emotionally, physically. I have known quite a few of them. They're frustrating and I try to distance myself from them entirely. If you feel that's what she is, why pursue it? I mean, you don't seem to be now, but why for so long?

I again, urge you to consider that I was the rational one through all this, attempting to move on at every opportunity I could.

But what if telepathy was real, and in this very day and age we honed in on it enough that we could pester and call out to others just enough to let them know we don't want them to leave?

This is what I believed happened. She has even admitted to this very thing. That she did not want to stop the cycle we were in, that she did not want to "admit in the physical" yet wanted to continue "calling to me in the ethereal" because it would ruin the whole cycle of what we were going through. Heck, because it might even end up in a relationship where I decide I don't want her anymore. Getting me????


Please. I want nothing more than to move on and lead a rational, balanced life. That's my desire. I could do without all this, and I could have when I turned 23. Except there was still some things I didn't understand, that's why I pursued it. I didn't, even after 23 years of experience, believe that someone could be like she is, and that's why I pursued her the way I did. It's still hard to believe that some are drainers and some are givers (if you will). Why can't we all be givers? But, I'm now beginning to come to terms with that, and even now it's hard.

It still boggles my mind even how so many can be so hateful here on ATS. That's just the way of it, though.

Originally posted by MagicWand67
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

It appears that you have chosen to ignore the post I made and not respond. Regardless, I will continue to try to communicate with you and express my opinions here.

I don't doubt that your feelings and experiences are real. I do however think you've closed yourself off to other interpretations of these events. Thus you are the creator of the reality that you are perceiving.

You've expressed many times that you "KNOW" what it is all about. You seem to think that you judgment on these matters is infallible. I would then suggest that you need to quit blaming all these external forces and look within yourself.

Is it possible that these "demons" are actually part of your own inner self? Perhaps you need to accept the fact that you are not perfect. Every human being has both good and bad within them. The longer you try to deny and suppress your own inner demons the more they will begin to destroy you from within.

Forgive yourself, admit that you have faults and make mistakes. Forgive Carissa for her mistakes and the burden you are carrying will soon lighten the load. It's not ATS's or it's members fault that you posted the links to youtube.

It's not our fault that you basically dared, taunted and begged to be ridiculed. You said you could take it. You said you would ignore it. But most of your responses have been focused on the negativity directed at you. You have spent time and energy acting defensive and denying the fact that you brought this upon yourself.

You have an opportunity to acknowledge this or continue to deny it. You don't appear to be open to even the members who have offered polite, constructive criticism. You befriended this girl and then, in my opinion, you betrayed her trust when she confided in you. When she expressed and revealed some of her personal secrets to you. You decided to out her to her family and it backfired on you.

I can relate to some of what you are trying to convey. But you should try to be more receptive and open to the people trying to offer you their advice and opinions. I think you are ostracizing yourself here and beginning to play the role of a victim. I don't believe you are a victim of emotional vampires. I believe you are torturing yourself.

I am torn between wanting to sympathize with your emotional and spiritual state. While at the same time wanting to remind you that you have a majority of the responsibility for how these events have played out. People can only affect you to the extent which you allow. You need to accept your part in all of this.

Clearly the majority of people here believe you have not behaved in an appropriate manner. We are not all wrong. You have absolutely made mistakes during this thread and during your relationship with this girls online persona. It's not right of you to begin to call people vampires. You allowed yourself to get carried away within your own fantasy.

Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant.

I will listen and open up to what you have to say. But it should work both ways. You should try to open up and listen to what we here have to say also. It's truly for your own benefit. No one here is 100% correct or 100% wrong. The devil lies in the details and the truth shall set you free brother.

Let go of the ego and the defensiveness and allow the truth the flow freely.

edit on 21-2-2013 by MagicWand67 because: (no reason given)

I didn't mean to ignore your reply, there are just quite a few.

Do you know that the Sky is blue (granted it changes colors) do you know that mountains are made of rock (granted different types of rock)

Do you know that the grass is green and that penguins are a type of land-bird?

I tell you! I know these things just as well!! What if I tried to tell you that the Sky isn't real, and Mountains are made of cream cheese, and grass is actual made of steel and diamonds and penguins are actually a mammal.

What if I said "But look, you've got to be willing to listen to other sides to this....."

The things that have occurred with me are just as evident as these things. That's the only reason I can't "switch points of view" .... it's not because I'm not open to other points of view, I am!!! It's just nobody can convince me that a turtle is a type of bird. Get me?

That's all it is. I've been doing this so long, so many different experiences.

Originally posted by MagicWand67
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

Forgive yourself, admit that you have faults and make mistakes. Forgive Carissa for her mistakes and the burden you are carrying will soon lighten the load. It's not ATS's or it's members fault that you posted the links to youtube.

It's not our fault that you basically dared, taunted and begged to be ridiculed. You said you could take it. You said you would ignore it. But most of your responses have been focused on the negativity directed at you. You have spent time and energy acting defensive and denying the fact that you brought this upon yourself.

You have an opportunity to acknowledge this or continue to deny it. You don't appear to be open to even the members who have offered polite, constructive criticism. You befriended this girl and then, in my opinion, you betrayed her trust when she confided in you. When she expressed and revealed some of her personal secrets to you. You decided to out her to her family and it backfired on you.

I can relate to some of what you are trying to convey. But you should try to be more receptive and open to the people trying to offer you their advice and opinions. I think you are ostracizing yourself here and beginning to play the role of a victim. I don't believe you are a victim of emotional vampires. I believe you are torturing yourself.

I am torn between wanting to sympathize with your emotional and spiritual state. While at the same time wanting to remind you that you have a majority of the responsibility for how these events have played out. People can only affect you to the extent which you allow. You need to accept your part in all of this.

Clearly the majority of people here believe you have not behaved in an appropriate manner. We are not all wrong. You have absolutely made mistakes during this thread and during your relationship with this girls online persona. It's not right of you to begin to call people vampires. You allowed yourself to get carried away within your own fantasy.

Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant.

I will listen and open up to what you have to say. But it should work both ways. You should try to open up and listen to what we here have to say also. It's truly for your own benefit. No one here is 100% correct or 100% wrong. The devil lies in the details and the truth shall set you free brother.

Let go of the ego and the defensiveness and allow the truth the flow freely.

edit on 21-2-2013 by MagicWand67 because: (no reason given)

And in a way I can somewhat control them now it has been so long. Not so much control them, but I can anticipate and make the prominence of such coincidences stronger if I do certain things. I can make more "coincidences" occur than would normally, in other words. Sometimes, I can get them to describe in detail the things that are going on at that very moment in my life!! and this is recorded, popular media!!


I fully accept and KNOW I'm not perfect. Sure, it's possible some of these demons are part of my "inner self" but it's also possible they have nothing to do with me at all, and are in fact separate entities.


I do forgive Carissa and myself, even though it is a continuing process. And the following after that is true, but if you notice I'm not responding to the jokes and the quips and obvious attacks, only the sincere posts. So I don't quite follow what you mean. I'm not spending time focusing on the negativity, I'm spending time focusing on the actual replies that come in.

I have been most open to constructive criticisim. But once again, you know what is real, don't you? So do I.
Woa, woa, I detected some hesitance there. How come YOU know what is real, but I don't? I know what is real just as well as you do. Think about that for a minute.

And yes, I know what you're saying, I somewhat agree... she confided me at certain points. But you must understand the strain I was under at that point, and the type of letter that I TRIED to get her mother/family to read. It was over the top ludicrous, it was like she was the devil herself revealing everything. It's tough to explain.

Originally posted by MagicWand67
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

You have an opportunity to acknowledge this or continue to deny it. You don't appear to be open to even the members who have offered polite, constructive criticism. You befriended this girl and then, in my opinion, you betrayed her trust when she confided in you. When she expressed and revealed some of her personal secrets to you. You decided to out her to her family and it backfired on you.

I can relate to some of what you are trying to convey. But you should try to be more receptive and open to the people trying to offer you their advice and opinions. I think you are ostracizing yourself here and beginning to play the role of a victim. I don't believe you are a victim of emotional vampires. I believe you are torturing yourself.

I am torn between wanting to sympathize with your emotional and spiritual state. While at the same time wanting to remind you that you have a majority of the responsibility for how these events have played out. People can only affect you to the extent which you allow. You need to accept your part in all of this.

Clearly the majority of people here believe you have not behaved in an appropriate manner. We are not all wrong. You have absolutely made mistakes during this thread and during your relationship with this girls online persona. It's not right of you to begin to call people vampires. You allowed yourself to get carried away within your own fantasy.

Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant.

I will listen and open up to what you have to say. But it should work both ways. You should try to open up and listen to what we here have to say also. It's truly for your own benefit. No one here is 100% correct or 100% wrong. The devil lies in the details and the truth shall set you free brother.

Let go of the ego and the defensiveness and allow the truth the flow freely.

edit on 21-2-2013 by MagicWand67 because: (no reason given)

*if you scroll up to look at where I began the quote here*

I am beginning to feel your point here. And I've thought the same things many times. This has been the in and outs of the last 3 years, in fact. "Is she really doing this, or am I doing it to myself?" So I begin to move on, and get healthy, and forget about her only to be called back by her and these taunting and HAUNTING things coming back.

Gladly to say, though, I have found a new reason and technique to move on, and this has become a thing of the past. I simply wanted to relay to you all what I had been doing these last 3 years,I wanted to tell you, I wanted to share it, I wanted you to know... um... I wanted feed back, too! Validation so much? No. It was for the same purpose anyone posts conspiracies here. To be discussed, to be experienced, and whatever else.

If you notice, I am entirely receptive to what people have to say, when they don't downright and blatantly insult me for no reason. That's when I, and any well-meaning, person should skip right over their posts.

But your point, what if you said that you saw a black man and a mexican woman at the store today, holding hands?

And I sat you down, and said "Look... you need to come to terms with this... just because you saw this.... doesn't mean it's real....... you need to be open to different interpretations...... it could be anything. You could have just thought you were seeing a black man and a mexican woman holding hands. Look, maybe it was actually a black person you imagined from your child hood, and you just thought it was..." anyway...

Is anything I say going to change the fact of what you saw? Alright then.


And what you said after that is ABSOLUTELY correct! It takes two to tango!!
I WAS a part in it. Just as there are two involved in any relationship (or struggle.)

But I was not involved in the way you might think, and ACTUALLY you are pretty right here, at some points I was in love a lot, and did put more of myself in than I should have, and made myself more responsible than I should have. Kind of like I am now. Very right there. I do understand, and I'm using that very coping technique to recover now.

I HAVENT behaved in an appropriate manner? What I'm feeding you is built up from what people have dished to me. Does it seem pleasant? It shouldn't. This feeling is the same energies people have inflicted upon me. With childish remarks, sublte attacks.

reply to post by pgobbs2277


Hey, I believe you.

And I can imagine how frustrating it would be to constantly see coincidences in everything I did, daily, and all centered around the same person. Synchronicity can drive us to the brink, friend. I believe that.

I also believe that sometimes things are more than coincidence and synchronicity. What you've experienced may have very well been that.

Now, if It old you the way in which she admitted it, and you could read the exact letter she wrote me, and you could have lived through it, you would know that it wasn't just a "highschool play along" avoidance like you mentioned.

I believe this as well. I think that because you could only post your side of things, people were not getting the full story and it prompted some (undeserved) rude behavior towards you. Although, for the most part, I saw people trying to give you some assistance or guidance. Maybe some of it came off as condescending, and maybe some of those people should have read your entire thread before responding, but I think it did come from a place of compassion on their part.

I understood from your initial post that you weren't looking for guidance. You've simply posted this here to share your experience. And a strange experience it has been. It was one of the only threads recently that has really sucked me in and kept me glued to the screen to the end - if for nothing more than just seeing how everything was connected. (Maybe it's just me, I was a big fan of the Number 23, so... )

I trust you when you say that you aren't pushy. Of course, you've got to give me some credit - I don't know you and didn't have the full story, so I couldn't have known that initially. But I do understand why you left some things out.

If you were receiving threatening letters from her, as well as what sounds like incredibly mixed signals on a personal level, I can't see how you even dealt with it for three years before finally coming to the decision to do this finale. I think I would have been forced to cut ties a lot sooner, so I commend you for trying.

I can also understand feeling a deeper connection with someone, feeling like they are reaching out to you through the ether, trying to make contact, even if they shun that contact physically. That too, must have been confusing/frustrating.

I get you, and I certainly didn't try to imply that I thought you were irrational or a stalker. I don't know enough about the situation to make that determination. I'm glad you want to live a balanced life. I'm glad that this is your post to try and end this relationship. However deep this relationship was between the two of you, it sounds volatile on both ends.

I'm off to bed for tonight, but if you ever need to talk about anything, you can also message me. I'll also reply to any other messages in this thread tomorrow morning.

I do hope nothing negative comes from this for you, and while I feel like you certainly shouldn't feel like a victim in this situation, (as you did post this expecting feedback) I hate that some of the posts deteriorated into name calling and that the word "crazy" was thrown around. I too, hate that word. It's too subjective and demeaning for my tastes.

Anyway, goodnight and thank you for the conversation.

Originally posted by MagicWand67
reply to post by pgobbs2277

 

Clearly the majority of people here believe you have not behaved in an appropriate manner. We are not all wrong. You have absolutely made mistakes during this thread and during your relationship with this girls online persona. It's not right of you to begin to call people vampires. You allowed yourself to get carried away within your own fantasy.

Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant.

I will listen and open up to what you have to say. But it should work both ways. You should try to open up and listen to what we here have to say also. It's truly for your own benefit. No one here is 100% correct or 100% wrong. The devil lies in the details and the truth shall set you free brother.

Let go of the ego and the defensiveness and allow the truth the flow freely.

edit on 21-2-2013 by MagicWand67 because: (no reason given)

and you say I haven't behaved in an appropriate manner!

Remember, I have to be at the receiving end of all those childish remarks, and it builds up. So I really do sincerely apologize if it's coming back out. But I'm only a person, and I build up what goes in and have to release it. Thanks for listening, though and being sincere with me. I DO care what you have to say, and I AM listening. It's just I think it escapes you and a few others on here that I AM A VERY RATIONAL person like yourself but the difference is, is that I've been DOING this for THREE YEARS.. I have come to MANY of these same conclusions you guys have, in fact... ALL of them. not to be arrogant. But you would have done the same!!!


No, no. It has been long concluded that she is indeed a "psi-vamp" she leads me on as I feed her my own confusion and pain. You can look it up, people do it. Quite wide-spread.

And, in the off chance that she messes up and I begin to leave her alone, well, she doesn't care. Not a big loss. But as long as I was willing to play the sucker, she was willing to suck (my blood.)

I'm not angry and calling her a vampire as an attack. I'm trying to help rationalize for you what was going on between her and I. I don't *want* her to be a vampire. But, she is. I wish I had the chat where I discussed this with someone, it would help you see what I mean.

"Online relationships are not the same as real life relationships. Fantasy is a huge part of the appeal with online relationships. You don't get any of the reality that a true loving partnership entails. You don't smell the other persons farts or bad breath. You don't see when they throw a tantrum over which TV show to watch or who drank the last beer in the fridge. You don't have to worry about dressing up or taking a shower or paying the check at a fancy restaurant. "

This almost makes me sad. While you probably dread these things and see them as common inconveniences. I'm very sad I got to miss out on these things with Carissa. As silly as it may sound.

Once again, this is where I wanted it to lead. I wanted every day for the "fantasy" to stop. Which is what i find so humorous (pardon). But, that people think I want to play into this fantasy, when all along I've wanted it to end and lead a normal life.

What I don't think you guys are seeing, is my point that I believe SHE is the one who wanted to keep the "fantasy" world. In which is why she kept me at such a distance, on a string, on a hook.....


Yes, thank you for the very last paragraphs. Please don't take anything I say the wrong way, I'm just trying to relay to you where I'm already at on this thing (please, please do imagine 3 years of studying something). I have to push a little bit to get you to (hopefully) see that I've been over many of the same trains of thoughts that you're just now beginning to go through regarding this. And I am very grateful for your time dedicated to my responses. Don't think otherwise.

Thanks, poster.

Wow, although it took a pretty long time to to read through all of this while also keeping up with the story.. It was very well thought out and written. I'm not going to try and give advice because I'm not too sure what I cod say that has not been brought up already but I have also gone through a period of maybe 2 years , albeit not over a girl or any single interest but a whole accumalation of synchronicities.

It became so hard to focus on any goals or anything like that but it was just so awesome and fun for it to happen on such a consistent basis. As kids similar things would happen but it would just be luck or happenstance.
How cool to grow up and learn whatever it is that you have learned about life and see the interconnectedness of it all. What a trip! Now given it was a lot of fun I focused on it far too much and started to lose a grip of what life was like beforehand.. Instead of trying to figure things out all of the time and becoming fixated on one certain situation , how fun was it to just try to be learn and apply yourself to everyday situations, the excitement for life before you got hung up on trying to figure out how life works. I used to love being in the flow, some days I would be bomb at video games and the next I was trying to get better at basketball. What happened to those days!

What a ramble, my bad
And to the OP.. Best of luck man hope all turns out well you almost seem too smart for your own good lol, or you are able to focus on one thing too intently, if that makes sense/
Mahalo

reply to post by jacktorrance


Truly a godsend, and once more not due to the validation factor.


After a night of complete stress and being upset about accidentally posting her Youtube link, this has been a very peaceful read.

I don't have much else to say about that, poster. Thank you.




Except that, yes, I came here to tell you all a story.

I got a bit upset when I accidentally (yes it was MY fault) posted her Youtube channel and exposed a bit of our private lives.

There's probably even guys from ATS trying to hit on her and get with her just to piss me off, and knowing her she'll probably go through with it. Sorry, I'm being hateful. But, good luck to them, maybe they'll have better luck than I did.

Anyhow, I got a bit upset when I accidentally posted her Youtube link (and exposed mine as well since I had commented on her site) and it was intended to be an unhateful thread. Until that happened...

When that happened, my whole idea (of simply relaying my story for relief and finalization) was pretty much abrupted. This definitely makes things harder for me to move on, but you know what?

It doesn't matter. When one is ready to move on, they are ready, it doesn't matter if tests or abruptions get in their way. And maybe that's what this was, a test to see if I was really ready, or if I would get jealous at the possibility of ATS assholes trying to step in on her, or if I would be so overwhelmed with guilt and anger that I would try to continue this cycle I've been in with her for so long.


At least, I hope that's all it was, a test. She had just recently threatened to call the police since I was bugging her about all this again, and I told her I'd leave her alone. And I was starting to do so, one of the ways was by writing this as a finalization effort. (not to mention, I've been finalizing this whole thing for a long time anyway. The only reason I've written her recently was to, I don't know... I don't know really... probably just due to being so used to this cycle.)


Then all this happened.


Oh boy....

Well, I hope things work out for me legally.

I'm definitely no harm to this person, or anyone for that matter. Maybe a bit of a bother and the very worst a mind-hack, but no more than that.


And, like one of the posters said. I'm not perfect, nor am I trying to be. I had my fair share in this obsessive bit. But who wouldn't?
But that doesn't mean I'm all to blame. It doesn't even rightly insinuate that I am the primary controller or continuer of the situation.

There are times I let the fantasy get the best of me, but ultimately I have not wanted this fantasy. I have wanted a normal life, a kid or two, a nice happy home since I was probably 18... maybe 19...
I delved into fantasies a lot when I was younger, through video games and what-not like any geek did in the early 2000s, but I had seen enough of it. I was plenty ready by the time I was even 19 for that to be a past time.



And that's precisely what I wish people would get. They say "move on, it's not worth it, be happy."

I know, guys!! I want the same thing!! I am probably around the same age as a lot of you, and believe me, I'm right there with you!!

We just each have different plights, I suppose, that end at different times.

Maybe this girl needed me for a while, who knows? I remember several times being completely ready to move on, but looking back and thinking "Wait a minute, if I move on right now... she'll be stuck with this... " ...... "instead" I thought... "i'll just give her these years of my life since I haven't quite met anyone like her. that's what husbands who feel they have very special partners do afterall, they give big parts of their life to them."
and that's what I decided to do, I decided to neglect my own feelings of moving on from such sickening and distasteful fantasies (not to mention fantasies i wasn't really interested in. Come on... ZELDA!?!? most people here think I have an obsession or an inkling towards zelda or this fantasy. No!! I don't!! I hardly played the game!! Too busy doing it in real life I guess ) I wanted it to END.

It was my care for her that drew me back in, not an obsession. The obsession part is just the part that I "willingly" went along with at some points, who knows why, to make it more fun or interesting, who knows......
Maybe even possibly to sustain myself while I waited for something real, for her to snap out of the fantasy.
Maybe, ALSO, the more fantasy I proved to her and the more "majestic" things I could prove to her, would cause her to wake up and realize that we should share something special and NORMAL, and not FANTASTICAL.


Anyone who found a a girl (or guy) that they felt this way about, and actually got to be apart of their life.

Just let me say... hold on to them, and cherish them... Forget the crap you get angry about.

You are delusion and dangerous. You need to just leave women alone and let them be with, you know, guys they actually want to have a future with and do have a genuine connection with.

Weirdo.

I believe what you are saying.

However, this girl you are obsessed over doesn't have anything to do with all these coincidental events, what is happening to you is that you are being psychologically influenced by disembodied entities.

The reason she's freaking out on you is that she genuinely doesn't know what you're talking about.

These entities are speaking into your head and you are interpreting these words as your own thoughts. You think that you are noticing these secret things in these songs and TV shows, but all these things are actually being deliberately pointed out to you and you are being deceived into believing that they are your own thoughts.

reply to post by pgobbs2277


i heope things work out for you, at first I was a bit concerned. quite an elaborate conspiracy, and i agree with the general sentiment that you overdid it a bit.

forget that girl, if shes such bad news. she probably isnt as evil as you make her out to be. Many girls get ugly if you push them too far.

i feel your error was putting too much of yourself into an online relationship.. I had a similar experience where this girl I was in highschool with, we used to IM each other every day for hours, for months and years. but we didnt really talk much at school, and I became rather obsessed. she could make or break my day. in the end the basis was an online relationship which aint a good foundation,
anyway, cool story bro. But you say you barely played the game.. so how can you base an entire conspiracy on it?

zelda didnt really look all that human, ever. so I dont know how anyone could look like her.

I dont think you over her, or you wouldnt be posting super rambly rants about some girl you met on a video chat site, no matter how many coincidences you think there are. the analogy about buying a new car was a good one.

sounds like a case of pareidolia to me, as with many conspiracies. people find connections and get excited by insignificant or random occurences. ibe been in a similar situation, except I was playing chrono cross. coincidence would have it that the girl I liked at the time had red hair like the girl in the game. the game became more than a game, it became an ideology.

i feel like ive wasted my time. cos I know your type, so wrapoed up in your little fantasy you cant see it frim the outside. I think you are probably quite capable of inflicting harm on others, your pranoid delusions and denial, coupled with this pareidolia, make you more likely than you might think. you could probably be provoked into violently defending your beliefs.

come back to reality, friend. you couldnt save her, but you can save yourself. first post, btw

reply to post by pgobbs2277

This, posting this, was part of my recovery process, one of the final steps. And I was and still am feeling well about it.

So you admit that you are a "recovering" troublesome stalker?

I've read all your posts here and all your comments on youtube, and you my friend are a classic stalker, all stalkers will blame everyone but themselves for their behaviour, and I notice that on the youtube channel you have taken to blaming the members of ATS for your current postings there

reply to post by pgobbs2277

Do you know that the Sky is blue (granted it changes colors) do you know that mountains are made of rock (granted different types of rock)

Do you know that the grass is green and that penguins are a type of land-bird?

I'm going to attempt to expand your field of vision and play the devils advocate in a sense. I'm not trying to be argumentative here. I'm just going to try to point out that different points of view can both be correct at the same time.

Technically, the sky is not blue. The sky actually has no color. It is the refraction of light hitting the Earths atmosphere that causes it to appear blue. It is the absence of light that makes the night sky appear to be black and it's this refraction of light that also what makes the beautiful multitude of colors during sunsets.

Do you know and understand that the human eye can only perceive a very small fraction of the energy waves that the sun light gives. There are many other frequencies that are invisible to us. But they are there and we have developed ways to detect these other light frequencies. An example is ultra violet and infra red light.

What we perceive as color is actually not what people think it is. Technically, humans perceive color because objects reflect the light at different frequencies. I am not a scientist so it would be hard for me to explain. I will post a short video for you on the subject of how we perceive color and why grass "looks" green. Believe it or not we have no idea what the true color of grass is. Because the only part that we can see is green does not mean that it's actually purple. In fact when you look at grass using the ultra violet or infra red light spectrum it's more light blue or purple.



I could say that mountains are made of dirt or minerals and actually that "rocks" are just a generic term for different types of substances that have been compressed together over time. There are many different types of rocks you see.

Penguins are not just land birds. They spend a large percentage of their lives in the water. Nearly all of their food comes from the ocean. So they can also be considered a sea-bird. They swim through the water like normal birds fly through the air. Technically all birds are "land birds". But very few are sea birds.

I know that these are just semantics. We would both be right. One definition just has more detail than the other.
Do you see how extra information can expand your point of view?

I think you've been using tunnel vision in a sense. This is not meant as a put down or an insult in any way. Just a common occurrence when we become focused on a task or certain outcomes / desired results. We tend to ignore the bigger picture. Especially when moving at a faster pace than normal.

The faster a race car driver goes the more blurred his peripheral vision becomes because they must focus on the road ahead. This is also a metaphor and can apply to what happens to us in life. We become fixated on the road in front of us and the finish line that we lose sight of the world around us.

This quote below is from a different response to a different poster but I feel the need to respond as it is kind of directed at everyone.

With that said, I've known this person 3 years. I'll state this again, but all of you have been aware of this case for maybe almost 48 hours. I've been aware of this case for 3 years, and let me re-iterate to you that I am one of the most skeptical ATS'ers of all!!!

I have been aware of this and thought very extensively about it a lot longer than 48 hours. In fact I'd say a minimum of 17 years. I am 41 years old. I have gone through, in my own way, what you are going through. I have also had many experiences with synchronicity in my life. Some of these events of being "tuned in" lasted over well over a couple of years at times. They also have involved people I loved.

Some of the early experiences started when I was 23 - 25. It happened again when I was 28 - 29 and yet again in my late 30's. I have had books, movies, music all relate to my life. I've held conversations in my head with the TV and even as I flip through the channels I couldn't escape the voices that seemed to talk to me and even mock me at times. I have heard birds chirping and dogs barking, cars honking, streets signs flashing, random conversations from people I pass on the street or in the supermarket all seem like they were talking to me and about my life at that moment.

The human experience is not new and many people have gone through what you are experiencing. There are some pretty famous people in ancient history who would be called crazy these days. In the Bible for instance. Moses talked to a burning bush. Or in Greek mythology different heroes spoke to the Gods. Man has made statues and idols that they pray to for centuries.

Here's the video I wanted to post but I ran out room

Why grass is green 3:00 - 3:30


Why the sky is blue 1:15 - 2:05


Anyway, I am not sure if you understand what Pareidolia is. It's worth taking a look at.

Have you ever heard the expression. "Life imitates art"

Well that's part of what makes a great movie, book or song, etc.. it's a story that not only relates to multiple people but it relates to multiple situations.

You can read a book, watch a movie or listen to a great song and each time you will hear something new that you can relate to.

This doesn't discount the existence of psychic phenomenon. I do believe in ESP and ghosts. Maybe even past lives and reincarnation.

But notice that not all people who relate to a particular item of art, in this case a video game, also relate to paranormal activity.

The fact is it doesn't matter if you saw a ghost, a UFO, big foot, or talked to aliens, God or a psy-vamp from the internet. There will always be a majority of people who want to call you crazy.

It's no wonder very few people want to come forward and talk about it openly. So I applaud your bravery in telling your story.