Anger/Depression: A new, positive way of thinking needed. Help!

reply to post by RooskiZombi


Congrats on the garden....

I've been making and taking Lipo-C for the past 7 months. It's amazing. Here is the link to the original thread. In my sig file at the bottom of my post, is a link to the condensed version of the original thread. If you have the time, sometime, check it out. I can't say enough wonderful things about Lipo-C...and the dramatic positive changes in my life since starting it. It's now part of my life.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Des

reply to post by RooskiZombi


What helped me in a crazy harmful emotional period was a super B vitamin complex, 5000mg of vitamin D3 daily, and a supplement called SAM-E. Supposedly our bodies produce the SAM-E naturally, but it is depleted during high trauma and stress periods. We can't make enough to catch back up. From experience, when our bodies get shocked like that it depletes us. Over time we can refocus ourselves, but sometimes the immediate shock or the long term damage have just worn us down too far, and we need to give our systems extra support. I could tell a difference, my hubby really could, if I didn't take them for a day or 2.

A whole, natural food diet helps immensely as well. I can feel a difference if I cheat and make a box of macaroni and cheese for dinner (yup, I love that blue box ). I try to keep busy in positive endeavors, and avoid crappy people. It has been almost 2 1/2 years at this point since the stress event(s) and I have been doing good for awhile now. I took the SAM-E for about a year, I still take my vit D everyday (if I remember) and the B supplement when I need a boost. I never once took anti-depressants or pain pills or any other type of pharmaceutical agent for these issues, though I did start smoking again. My doc didn't even give me a hard time about until about 8 months later. I still smoke, but it is something that helps those crappy moments ( I AM NOT ENCOURAGING YOU TO SMOKE)! I also go outside and play in the dirt as much as possible, or hike or fish or whatever, being outside helps too.

Best of Luck to you, I hope you feel better. Know that it is possible without the drugs, and I had 2 docs helping me at the time. Have a beautiful day!

reply to post by RooskiZombi


Have you healed the little hurt girl within you?

reply to post by RooskiZombi


Here is some info on B-12 and thank you! B-12 works better than any antidepressant I have ever tried.but everyone is different.

www.prevention.com...

reply to post by RooskiZombi


You are too self loathing you only think of yourself even when you think you are thinking of others.

I used to date women who were always depressed even if they had everything they could want. They would tear me up and then say " I push you to hard, I am so bad to you , you deserve better blah blah blah"

Always negative always depressed... their problem was that they could not get over themselves and not stop thinking of only themselves. Even though they were completely convinced they thought of others.

I dated a woman like this for quite a few years.. and one time when she was having one of her self loathing episodes where she was saying i deserved better i agreed and broke up with her.

I ran into a few more later on and just walked away.

I will give you a tip GET OVER YOURSELF.

reply to post by RooskiZombi


One of the things that always helped me was simply writing things out. No one knows what your issues are so you dont have to worry about people making jokes about you or telling others and you have the satisfaction of relieving this stress at all times. After years and years of depression (note I am only 17 and diagnosed when i was 12) from struggling with an abusive step dad since I was 4 and never knowing my dad. Anyway, if writing does not work, find a niche for yourself. Getting your mind off of things is a huge way to help your mind take it easy. Life can be incredibly difficult but remember everything happens for a reason. One day, you will look back and find strength your going to need to make it pass someone else. Stay strong, live happy. You can do it

reply to post by votan


One woman does not reflect them all.

reply to post by votan


That was uncalled for. Downright mean.

Sorry you had a bad experience in the past...don't paint this OP and her thread, with your personal experience brush.

Des

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by votan

 

That was uncalled for. Downright mean.

Sorry you had a bad experience in the past...don't paint this OP and her thread, with your personal experience brush.

Des

While I agree, sometimes people need to hear things in a certain way to truly change. Its always hard to say exactly what the catalyst will be for a "positive" change.

I knew someone semi-recently (about a year ago) who was depressed. They were so self-centered about it they even attempted to take their life, which would have left their beautiful children (who are quite young) behind to deal with the baggage. Luckily, they failed..

To add to that, this individual would also asked for help in much the same way as this thread, but they were not interested in anything more than attention. I am just happy that they now have to deal with their own issues instead of pawning them off on their innocent children.

Perhaps harsh words would have better served in that situation to avoid such a deplorable act even happening in the first place. Kind and encouraging words certainly did not do anything. Everyone is different. Just because the words posted by Votan may not be what would help you make a change, we shouldnt paint others with our personal experience brush.

Originally posted by InTheLight
reply to post by votan

 

One woman does not make reflect them all.

That is exactly right. Also meaning that those words might be exactly what was needed for the OP to gain the determination to pull herself up by the boot straps. Prove that a-hole Votan wrong (I encourage you to prove him wrong Rooski, we all know you can).

If not, there is enough encouragement, kindness, and beauty in this thread anyway that it more than balances out.

I have no doubt the OP will find her way regardless, if she is willing to actually do so.

I believe yoga might be able to help you.

Not yoga as it's thought of here in the west, but the full eight limbs.

'You' aren't what 'you' think you are, and it is possible to shift which 'you' you identify with - that of the ego (memories, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, self-conception, etc.) or that of the experiencer: pure energy/awareness.

I've been where you're at, and I believe you may feel your life is without purpose. Know that you are worthy of giving AND receiving love, because you ARE love, and I believe true yoga (or its daoist, Buddhist, shamanic, Sufi, Christian... Equivalent) could help you remember this.

As much as myself and the others who read this forum would love to help you somehow, these are ultimately personal struggles, and while we can provide support and advice, it is ultimately up to you to take action.

One thing that can help when wanting to change a part of our self, is it to make a conscious decision to do so. Like giving up smoking for an example. In how we respond to our emotions is like developing good or bad habits, they do become hardwired into our thought processes, behavior and character. As with overcoming any bad habits, it does take will power and time to overcome, but it all starts with making the decision to do so.

Once you have made the decision and are committed to it, you will become more aware next time you cross the line and try to reign yourself in or take better control of what it is exactly you want to change. At times you may fail, but the clearer you can define what it is you want to change, the better the chance you will reach your goals.

reply to post by RooskiZombi


i have had my fare share with all that also,, i have said this many times before, even if it sound stupid,, there is no better cure, than to eat an avocado, and as many fresh carrots as you want, they work like magic to cheer you up.

@ RooskiZombi - Like you, I also went through various stages of depression due to events that seemed out of my control. There has been some good advice on here from fellow members but here is what worked for me.

1) Change the way you see things. Maybe everything happens for a reason, and there is a life lesson to be learned. Instead of seeing the bad in something, try to find something positive to be gained from this experience. The mind is very powerful, take the placebo effect for example, give someone a sugar pill and tell them it will cure them and they report to feel/ get better.

2) Find a way to vent your energy into a positive light. I was really bad at keeping things bottled up inside to only find myself exploding on someone for reasons that they did not deserve, that is unfair to said person and is also unhealthy for you. I found that I was able to take these types of emotions and channel them through music releasing the emotions and feelings into something that will not harm others directly. It is purifying, at least for me. This does not only work with music, you could draw and express yourself that way, maybe keep a journal, take up poetry, go for a run, hit the gym, etc…

Different stroke for different folks, you just need to experiment, after all, you know yourself better than anyone else. Please remember that we all go through hard times as life can be like a roller coaster ride, experiencing highs and lows, but know “no matter how low the ride goes eventually, you rise.” Maybe today was an off day, do not be hard on yourself, we all experience these days. When we do have one of these days, remember this “Tomorrow is a new day, and it is what you make of it.”

I wish you the best on your path to wellness and you are more than welcome to message me anytime. Understand that change is not immediate, so try and have some patience. Confucius once said "The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

A miles journey begins with a single step.

Take care and I hope you have a blessed day.

reply to post by RooskiZombi


I am sorry to hear of your difficulties, but I have something that may help. Most people I know who battle depression have very little, if any, faith. Faith is a cornerstone to happiness, at least one of them. Positive thinking in general will greatly help as well. Depression is something that all humans have to deal with but there is no doubt that some suffer from it more than others.

Let's start with faith. Faith in a higher power is very liberating in that it allows the individual to let go of things that are beyond explanation, like "why are we here" or "what the purpose of life is". When you come to an answer that makes sense to you, you will be in a better frame of mind. You begin to think of things bigger than yourself and how you are a part of this vast universe. There are many religions and philosophies that can help you get to that point. You need to explore what is out there and see what works for you.

To a certain degree I was depressed as a teenager and into my early twenties. I believed in a higher power, but was bent toward Christian way of viewing religion. I had too many unanswered questions with Christianity. Thus I began my quest and this was before the Internet was easily available so finding info was challenging. I personally ended my quest with The Urantia Book. It answered my questions and they made sense to me. It may or may not help you, but you can be sure there is something out there for you and you will know when you find it.

As far as positive thinking in general, search for the video The Secret on YouTube. It talks about positive thinking and how it can improve your life. Basically it says if you always think negative you will attract negative, but if you think positive you will begin to attract positive events.

To me the bottom line is that we are part of this vast creation and there must be a purpose. There is too much in life to say it was all just by chance. If you believe in any type of after life, when you put that in context to our life on Earth we exist as a mortal only a very short time. So there is much waiting for us beyond this life. To quote from The Urantia Book: ..."Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the mind of mortal man, the things which the Universal Father has prepared for those who survive the life in the flesh on the worlds of time and space.”

Love and accept your depression, don't be at war with it; it's a war you can't win.

Originally posted by RooskiZombi
I'm not typically the kind of person to ask for help, in fact my stubborn brain is convincing me not to even write this, but I'm at the end of my rope and am looking for some tips or advice.

I've suffered with depression my whole life. I've lost all, and i mean all of my friends. My father also has severe depression and I grew up in a very hostile and abusive atmosphere which has led me to have anxiety and abandonment issues and an awful tendency to push everyone away. Self sabotage, so to speak.

When people meet me, they think I'm full of light, happiness and a will to help people, but it's all an act. I'm a miserable, negative person and on a daily basis wonder what the point of even being here is, as it seems I just bring everyone else down around me. I have a loving partner, who I tear to shreds because I expect him to be like every other person to let me down when I know truly that they deserve better.

I consider myself very self aware. I've spent countless hours trying to find tips online on how to handle explosive anger and draining depression (without the use of pharmaceuticals) and I even read several people saying that "Positive thinking is a choice" but really, how could that be? How can you choose in a moment of emotional blindness to be better, I mean granted I always regret the things said/done after but how is someone to change that process from even getting to that point??

All I can say is Wow! You and I are identical in nearly every way!

Now that that's out of the way, here are a few things I've done to help myself get past where you are and where I was. Just a disclaimer, some of these may sound silly and ridiculous, but they've really helped me out and maybe they can do the same thing for you.

1) Meditation. Meditation can really help you figure out who you are on the inside, and it can also calm your mind and get everything cleared out. I typically meditate before I go to bed (for various reasons), but I also do it during the day when I feel myself slipping downwards.

2) Write an entire page full of "positive thoughts" and hang it up in an area you go to multiple times a day. Write down all of the good you know you are/have, or things others have told you (infectious laugh, sparkling personality, beautiful looks, etc). Sounds silly, but my list has kept me remembering what makes me who I am and what makes people like me when they first meet me. I put mine on my bathroom door. You don't necessarily have to read the list every day, but just knowing that it's there with everything that's great about you will help you remember.

3) Say "C'est la vie" (such is life) for the little things that would normally make you upset. There are always going to be things that we cannot change in life and sometimes it's better to just admit that then try to change them. Saying "c'est la vie" has helped me tremendously. It helps remind me to not get upset over the little things and to just let them go.

4) When you feel yourself getting upset at another person (particularly your loved one) walk away. I know it sounds easier said than done, but walking away before you get to the point where you say things you don't want to makes it so you don't say them. It helps you to calm yourself and think fully before you continue with the situation or conversation. Taking a break when things get heated is not something to be ashamed of like others would have you believe. It shows you have the strength to realize you need time to think things through and calm down before things get escalated.

This is just the few major things that have helped me out from where I was and where you are now. Give these few things a try for a few days or maybe even weeks, then PM me and let me know how things are going. Also, if you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, don't hesitate to PM me. Like I said above, I'm the exact same way so you will always have someone to talk to who's been there before.
Best of luck to you, OP, and I hope my pointers help you out in some way.

reply to post by RooskiZombi


I was reading another post and this tea, "brancha?" (or something like that - I have to look it up) made a fellows mood improve so much that it was his most important diet addition. I am looking for the stuff now because I have heard it is a staple in health circles.

From personal experience mood can remarkably and noticeably improve after just a couple days minus caffeine, sugar, alcohol and white flour. I think the alcohol has the most long term effects, dragging depression into the following days. I noticed I NEVER had severely depressive thoughts, during long spells of total sobriety but can't say that about other periods no matter how light the drinking. Learned in re-hab years ago that alcohol changes your outlook and mood quite a bit even during days you are not drinking. Sugars and white flours are treated much the same as alcohol in your body causing spikes and dips in sugar levels whipping the adrenals and making all of us feel a little crazy. Give all that up for a week and you'll think you're Buddha.


Eat 6 smaller meals with protein (preferably 2 types) spaced throughout the day to keep blood sugar levels even. Hunger affects mood quickly and this method is better rather than 3 large starch filled meals at a sitting. Probably a result of hunter gatherer days where we moved and ate all day long.

And then walk everyday or run depending on your fitness level.

Synthetic drugs are extremely dangerous and I do not recommend taking any of them.
Natural substances may be replaced for those. Good luck! I struggle with this myself.

reply to post by RooskiZombi
Ummm...As other posters have stated...Meditation and vitamin d3, (d3 is more easily absorbed by your body).

YouSir

you have my empathy. I suffered from depression from my teens on. I came close to suicide a couple of times, but after starting therapy with a psychologist and a psychiatrist, I started geting better. I have, and still do, use pharmaceuitals, and I can tell the difference If I stop them for a few days. I'm going to give you my suggestions.
take what you can use and put the rest on the shelf and come back when you are ready.

1. Counseling: get a qualified psycholigist. If the first one doesn't work out. Find another. But don't look for one that tells you what you WANT to hear. Look for one that tells you what you need to hear.

2. Drugs: Find a good psychiatrist. It might be good to go through your doctor. But DO NOT let your family doctoer prescribe antidepressants. They can handle colds, heart attacks, and other things, but psychiatry is way out of line.

3.Exercise: I personally reccomend some sort of martial art. You get a good areobic workout, and occaisionally you get to put the gloves on and spar with someone. You will be surprised when you get hit that you don't get angry. If you have room, get a heavy bag with a tie down. When you feel angry or enraged, put on the gloves and beat the hell out of it.
I speak from experience. I was 38 when I started martial arts and it helped me tremendously with my rage and my depression.

4: Finally, meditate. There are a million books on the market that deal with depression, rage, etc. pick up a few of these. They are dated for a particular date, so you can start tomorrow if you get one to day. Read the meditation, then spend at least a few minutes thinking about what it means to you and how it affects you life. Recovery want be fast, it won't be slow. It will be what it is. And just to reassure you that I'm not blowing smoke, I am 62 years old. I've been married to same sweet lady for 35 years, because she was my support system, my rock and my greatest love. Don't forget, YOU MUST HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM! And you psycholigist will help you with that.