I feel like I'm switching off.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I find that I do better with a woman doc. It's hard to find one in the Tricare system, though. No slights on the guys, it's just that women docs are more likely to take the time to listen to you.

edit to add: here's some TMI - when I was "re-integrating with civilian life" I went through this period of being really blue and sort of oddball for a while, which was finally diagnosed as separation anxiety from my old buddies (and/or inappropriate grieving, whichever you like). They tried me on trazodone, the first answer to anything from the VA, which just made me stupid although it beats cialis hands down for other side effects. Then some SSRI, which just made me whack, then the guys tried an old school med called imipramine, in tiny tiny doses, at the very bottom of therapeutic. BAM! Day and night, in about a week. They don't prescribe it much, but it was what the doctor ordered.

From my side of things, I couldn't tell you that a damn thing was different, but everyone I knew commented on the change, including the ones who didn't know me that well. I was on it about a year and got off of it.

reply to post by Bedlam


At my local GP, the patient pool is shared between all the doctors in surgery that day. I have had VERY VERY bad experiences with male doctors from the surgery in general, from being outright ignored, to being told they would send a referral letter and not doing it, misreading my test results etc. Unfortunately, its the closest practise there is and I don't drive.
If I get to see a woman doctor today, I'll be so lucky.

I can't take SSRI's, as they are proven to make bipolar episodes much worse (as I found out a few years ago when I was given a particular well known SSRI and almost ended up sectioning myself).

I don't think Trazodone would be prescribed in my case, since the side effects are what I'm trying to wake up from, but I appreciate your input on the matter!

The other thing they also have to be careful with is the potential weight gain caused by mood stabilizers, if that is indeed what I need.
The last script I was given is a well known beast for weight gain, known as "Depabloat" My friends ex wife gained 60lbs in 2/3 months on it, and it made her a zombie.
I'm currently assigned to a dietician and have regular weigh ins.
I know it's so easy to say "Watch what you eat and exercise more" but to be eating and doing as much as I do, any gain is going to exacerbate many of the issues I have about myself.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I recall that several docs said something like "That amount of Tofranil won't do #. It's a joke!"

But it was all I needed, and not more. The prescribing doc said "It has a lot of side effects, and the reason why is that IMHO they got the dosage wrong during the tests when it first came out. You need a fraction of what they say you need"

And he was right, at least in my case. I'm aware that the plural of "anecdote" is not "data". But it was amazingly effective. Old school is not = "bad".

Originally posted by Lulzaroonie
I want to discuss something that has been bothering me for, probably a year or so now.
I have no name for whatever this is, and I have no evidence, so it's purely something I want to discuss and play about with for the time being.

Since leaving mandatory schooling at 16, I've gradually felt that I am becoming dumber. This is probably no phenomenon in itself. Without the constant stimulation and feed of knowledge we would get on a daily basis, I guess our brains have stopped developing.
What concerns me is the rate at which I seem to be getting 'dumber'.

I'm only 26, I left school 11 years ago, and during that time, I've been to college three times and taken University courses.
The issue is that despite the constant thirst for knowledge, I don't understand anything any more. It's like the subject, the words, the material, has all stayed the same, but my ability to process it is just defunct.
I enjoy maths, but I'm finding it impossible to manage my finances. What should be a simple matter of looking after in going and out goings on specific dates, is such a challenge, I break down. I have to have someone help me manage it because I can't do it by myself any more.

The other thing, is that I feel like I'm not really even here half the time. I know it sounds utterly crazy, but I feel like I'm a just consciousness within a shell. But the shell isn't alert. I look through eyes that don't feel like they're really seeing anything. I stare blankly at things for a few minutes and all the while, my brain is ticking over, but I feel so vacant.
I don't feel alive, if that makes sense. I feel like I'm shrouded, and I can't pass beyond the veil and wake myself up. I don't ever feel alert.

I have normal faculties, I experience sensations, I have all my senses. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I rarely drink. I exercise 5 times a week but instead of feeling more energetic, I feel more and more tired.
I used to be so out going, and vivacious, I used to have a really active social life, but now I'm so tired all the time, I seek to be alone 99% of the time, despite having a family. I'm NOT depressed! I've been depressed, this isn't anything like it.
I've had tests, boy have I had tests. I've had so many tests, the results were pouring out my wazoo.
I wear glasses, because I have slight short sightedness and astigmatism. I also have a hormone imbalance (I have polycystic ovarian syndrome).

I'm really loathe to even share this on here, because I know I'm going to get a bunch of replies saying to seek medical attention, get brain scans etc.
The issue is how do I even approach the subject with a doctor?

"Doctor, I don't feel real, like I'm not awake but still awake, whats wrong with me?"

There are a LOT of psychotropic medications that produce exactly the effect you are describing, this is the first thing I would look into, if I were you.

When I first went to a therapist for depression (over 10 years ago) they prescribed Paxil and Zoloft. Within a very short time I felt very similar to the state you're describing.

If you are not taking medications then it could possibly be a result of electromagnetic sensitivity. Those of us who have this condition, and also happen to live in areas of high electromagnetic noise (near cell phone towers, etc) experience some of the effects that you describe. These negative effects have been confirmed time and again but they do not effect everyone in the population equally.

I'd try to go see a doctor is it was possible...but like you, the doctor seems to never want to listen to me, which is where the if possible comes in.....I just don't have t he money to keep going back to him week after week for over a year to get a diagnosist!!

but, well, it might actually be a physical problem with an easy fix.

meditation can be helpful, I've used it many times throughout my life to help control pain.

and I'd look at the drugs that you were on for bipolar, and try to think back, did these symptoms begin as you were going on or coming off from those drugs??

that latter would be my first guess to be honest...but
well
look into meditation, ask whatever you view as your God for his/her assistance, and find some quiet time to just sit back and get reconnected with yourself. ten or twenty minutes of quiet time can re-energize me more than 8 hours sleep.

and, I am like the some of the others, I think there is alot of people out there feeling like t his, maybe not as much as you are, but at the shop I was working at, our production rate was cut by about half last year, with more people....it was like we just couldn't get our crap together... and well, don't think our suppliers could either considering the poor quality of the felt, the flock and everything else..

last year was rough for many of us, and for many businesses, maybe the human group consciousness is worn out.

Well if things are emotionally difficult right now you have to face it, plain and simple. This requires soul searching, and and maybe to go places in your heart you don't want to go, but pulling a splinter out isn't pleasurable until it's gone, right?
Granted, physical illness can cause depression and vice versa, but if doctors haven't found anything, I would argue that you are okay physically. Exercise is only a patch (a good one, but a patch at best), maybe you need counseling? Maybe not even professional, but someone you can trust?


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reply to post by wjones837


it's good to know that there are still some out there that have faith in the healthcare system...
my experience has stipped most of that faith away.
sometimes, ya, depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, I will give the doctors a benefit of the doubt on that one. but sometimes, there are some danged good reasons for a person to be depressed and there is no imbalance whatever, they are in a situation that would make any of us depressed!!

I think that for many people, they just need a pathway that will solve some of those things that can be solved, and allowed to be sad about the things that cannot be solved...and given time.
but, nope, here just take this happy pill and do neither!! and a year or two down the road they can wake up and realize, that all that crap is still there waiting for them to plow through!!!

Originally posted by darkbake

The DSM-IV-TR specifically recognizes three possible additional features of depersonalization disorder: Derealization, experiencing the external world as strange or unreal. Macropsia or micropsia, an alteration in the perception of object size or shape. A sense that other people seem unfamiliar or mechanical.

The most common immediate precipitators of the disorder are severe stress; major depressive disorder and panic;

Okay, the second I read what you just posted, my heart sank. I was totally feeling like I have been experiencing these symptoms, but at the same time thought that they seem relatively common and might just be a result of having depression or anxiety. However, the second I read the part about the alteration in the perception of an objects size or shape, and that other people seem mechanical, I became almost positive that I have this.

I am dead serious, I am almost certain that you have brought to my attention the specific issue I am having. Another reason I am adamant about this being my issue is the fact that I have all three of those percipitators: severe stress, increadibly depressed, and occasional panic attacks that can get rather nasty.

So, I wish to thank you wholeheartedly for relaying that condition to me darkbake. Star for you.

Sorry for going off-topic and detracting from your issue OP, but I felt I should bring that up. So, if you have this too OP, I feel for you, it really does detract from your ability to properly absorb information and feel not as intelligent as possible. Dang this is a nasty feeling.

What your talking about sounds like depersonalization to me, but that is usually combined with severe anxiety or depression type symptoms, which you said you do not have.
The only thing i can think of would be your vital energy (chi) is out of wack, flowing only on one side.

Do a little test on yourself and see what nostril is more dominant. One should be either completely blocked or 95% blocked. Concentrate and breathe through the blocked one and see if u can swap the air flow.
They should naturally change from one side to the other every hour or so, so pay attention and check if it does that to. If one side is blocked for longer than 4 hours it usually indicates a problem.

I understand what your going through, i am a fitness freak and still feel switched off alot of the time.

reply to post by wjones837


I totally agree with you, I've never been one of those people to sit and do nothing when the world is falling down around them.

When I say things haven't been so good for the last few years, it's been down to things completely out of my control; I was gossiped about maliciously for years by an ex and all my closest friends, which in turn lead to having my son 3 months prematurely due to stress and illness. I want to stress that despite everything they said and did, I never fought back, because there is no point trying to stop people from talking about anyone, even you are the subject. I let them carry on like it was water off my back. In the end, the police were sent to my house on a malicious goose chase, and now they've stopped. But that went on for the best part of 6 years.

Both my grandparents have been on deaths door for the last two years. While my mum is trying to help them out, she has her own mental health issues, and since she doesn't have many friends, I'm the one she comes to. It's not great when you're own mum tells you she wants to kill herself, and admits to self harming often.

Couple those things with my own depression, bipolarity, and the approach of diabetes (because of the PCOS) which I am trying to prevent.

I've never hid from my problems. Sometimes you're just hit with so many at once, it's a trial to sort out which ones need the most attention.

I kind of feel like people are thinking that I've just sat and ignored the world and retreated inside to avoid it all. This isn't the case at all.

I'm trying to be as proactive as possible, but when you don't even feel like you reside within your own skin, it's difficult to make head or tails of a situation.

Well anything capable of doing great good is capable of doing great harm, and medical science does both, from what I've seen.
I just don't think a doctor is what OP needs, it sounds like an emotional one, and a need to be able to cope with the stress of whatever is going on.


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I don't believe you aren't doing anything; it sounds like you have done a lot and you are going through a lot. It sounds as if much of what's going on is out of your control, and for things like that to happen to those of us who are proactive, that can be the most devastating. To feel powerless is a truly fearful and de-moralizing feeling, especially when loved ones are affected, and "letting go" isn't necessarily an option.
But remember none of this is your fault, and much of it you truly can't do anything about. And in reality, many all over the world go through the same thing, and worse.
There's a way out, I'm sure of it, and that time will come. Until then keep your head up, and do what you can. If you don't mind, I will be in prayer for you and your family?



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I feel less alone I feel almost all of it except that I feel every part of my body and it freaks me out I feel as if ive been flipped inside out.



"The most common immediate precipitators of the disorder are severe stress; major depressive disorder and panic; "
This is what relates to me the most as I have such sever stress that my head and eyes begin to hurt if I even start to get anxious, I beg to die everyday but wish I wouldn't and have sadly began to have really bad panic attacks sometimes to the point where I have to hide from everything .

Personally I feel that it could have to do with point of view but that could only apply to myself , such as for example I never realized the inside of my body I knew we had heart lungs etc but until I saw a an autopsy and pictures and precise places its been hard to even lay on my side considering that Ill feel as if my rib cage was collapsing .

I hope you feel better, and we may not suffer from the same thing but if it starts to become an issue avoid letting your mind wander it will make everything a mess in your head. steer clear from stress and do things that motivate you if there's any , maybe try new hobbies it could be you're going trough a mental shift of some sort like becoming a new person.

reply to post by hoonsince89
Im interested in what you said about chi.
My left side has been blocked mostly for years.
What can i do about this?
And what is chi?

Originally posted by cody599
I get the same problem, I can litteraly feel myself getting thicker.
Turned out to be vitamin B1 deficiency.
I thought the doctor would laugh at me, man I was wrong take the trip do the bloods nothing to lose.

Second this. Try a b-comlex and maybe vitamin c for a while as well.

I've been thinking about the way I'm feeling for weeks now. I almost feel exactly the same as the OP describes.

I'm not sure what's happening. Ever since I started going to college, I've been on a cafeteria diet. I'm not sure if I can blame how I'm feeling on the food, but I know the food I got at home was some what better than this crap I'm getting at college. This stuff is barely above high school food, it's that pathetic.

I'm feeling more apathetic and docile. I also should mention that the town I'm staying in fluoridates their water. I used to have a strong urge to go research topics and absorb information like a sponge. But now, I have lost my interest in that stuff quite a bit, and I would rather do nothing and play video games or something.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just found this topic incredibly interesting because I've been feeling the same way.

Well anyway, I guess it could be a number of things, the fluoride, mercury and the GMO food. Maybe that's whats causing me to feel like a docile zombie.

Originally posted by LILY9
reply to post by hoonsince89

 

Im interested in what you said about chi.
My left side has been blocked mostly for years.
What can i do about this?
And what is chi?

Chi, Prana, Cosmic energy are all the same thing, a vital energy that exists everywhere and which the human body uses but is unknown to science at this time. It is well known in ancient healing and is the primary resource.
Your body harnesses this energy through what is called "Meridians" which are tied to the nervous system. The energies primary use is usually healing or bringing more spirit into the body through meditation.
The meridians have a cool and hot side, located on the left and right side of your body, left nostril & right nostril.

If your showing signs of "switching off" this usually indicates a blockage of hot energy as you are disconnected from your body to some extent.

Signs of distress and exhaustion usually indicate a blockage of cool.

Pranayama is ancient practice of heating and cooling energy point "chakras" to awaken your energy body.
This might be alittle advanced for a newby to understand.

Basically, if that one nostril has been blocked for an extended period of time, your what they call "a little off today"

All you need to do (easier said then done) is get comfortable, and focus on breathing through the blocked nostril until it becomes clear, you will notice a calming effect the more it opens. Then when both are open equally just breathe through both.
It will probably take some time to get the hang of.

two more things you might consider...

1 ... dental infection? gums being so close to the brain if they're infected it'll go thru the bloodstearm right to the brain. this can really cause a 'fuzzy head' feeling, if your mouth gets dry during exercise it really makes this worse!!

2 ... shallow breathing? as you feel better after exercise where you take in a lot of oxygen, maybe try some deep breathing when you are feeling bad later in the day.

i'd also go with the other posters who recommend vitamins c and b's
and get some orgone for those nasty EMF's [microwaves].

i've been thru the people talkin behind your back nonsense and it does mess up your brain, but for me , other that distancing myself from the situation, and giving it some time, basic care like the above has really worked well!

we're all 'pullin for yah' here !!

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

I went to see the doctor last night. Since he has no psychiatric background, he has referred me to a psychiatrist and for CBT, as well as prescribed me a low dosage SSRI for the meantime.
Not entirely sure how I feel about taking the pill since I don't really feel anxious or depressed, and he said himself that the psychiatry and CBT should be more beneficial.

Then he gave me the more insulting crap, diet and exercise more (I swear to God, when you tell a doctor that you're a very active person, they NEVER believe you), positive thinking etc.

I'd like to keep this thread going as long as possible, it seems as though quite a few people are relating to my experience without even realising there was anything wrong with them. Not that there is anything 'wrong' wrong, but obviously it's not normal to feel like you're not an active participant in your own life,

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


One thing I do suggest is to do EXTENSIVE reading on SSRI's.

I blame them for most of the violent outbursts in the US as of late and they do have the tendency of making young people suicidal. Even if you couldn't fathom having suicidal thoughts they could just pop up while you're on the SSRI and then actually intensify when you stop it (for some time) and you won't be thinking "Oh, that's just the pill I am taking." Just look into it.