I feel like I'm switching off.

reply to post by Julie Washington


I've been following the threads, though not really actively participating in them since right now, financial situation, while stabilizing, doesn't have much leeway for extra purchases.
I don't really take any vitamins and I probably should, though I don't see much point if the absorption rate isn't as good as the liposomal stuff

Originally posted by Lulzaroonie
reply to post by Julie Washington

 

I've been following the threads, though not really actively participating in them since right now, financial situation, while stabilizing, doesn't have much leeway for extra purchases.
I don't really take any vitamins and I probably should, though I don't see much point if the absorption rate isn't as good as the liposomal stuff

I'm sorry the finances keep you from trying out the vitamin c therapy, as I really think it would help. I'm glad things are starting to stabilze for you, so maybe you could check out where to get the items you need and their costs and put it on your goal list.

I always find that when something makes my "written down" goal list it magically happens, not always right away and sometimes not even the same year... but usually always happens.

I wish you well

Cat hurt to get a blood test ran , also look for b12 deficiency as well as Vit D. If you do not absorb these things, there is a test that will tell them that. Primary doc will do these tests. You can take sublinguel (under the tounge)
and it will absorb that way even if your intestines do not, (called intrinsic factor block) , and avoid the shots.

b12 deficiency will make you tired, affect your memory, along with neurological symptoms and can affect your heart if left for to long. It is common, and can mine went for so many years, I thought I was dying before it was figured out.

Just something to research and keep in mind.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie

Hi! You may be experiencing side-effects of microwave radiation. Do you often use wireless Internet, are there phone towers nearby? Please read this other thread if you want to compare your symptoms with what was established by scientists about harmful effects of wireless radio emissions. Also you can buy an electrosmog meter (three-axis is preferable) and check how much exposure you get daily. Try to reduce that exposure and compare your experiences. Wireless tech may be really dangerous, although not so many people have so far realized that.

Originally posted by michael1983l
reply to post by Wrabbit2000

 

What is Rx, I am very interested?

Rx is the shorthand for Prescription Drugs. It's often on a prescription pad or Pharmacy signs for context. Don't ask me what it stands for..but I'm sure there is a fascinating story there somewhere.

Anyway, to mention just one thing in context to the OP for example of what he's saying and I've been noticing more myself....... Do you recall when events a month or 2 or even 6 were still fresh enough to matter? I mean REALLY matter. Scandal as well as positive, but it sure wasn't long enough for major events of any kind to be forgotten and pushed to the side...right? I'm not just imagining this Golden Age when ADD didn't leave a whole nation (world?) moving from crisis to crisis so fast, a month feels like 6 and a quarter, as though a year had passed in the same time, right?


For instance... How much about the Benghazi attack do you recall in enough detail to give an accurate summary without looking up anything, of any kind? Maybe it's a bad example if you weren't deep into that debate..but of those who were? I'll bet a shocking % couldn't with accuracy to what they may personally have been debating just over 3 months ago. Seems like a lot longer, huh?

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


Sorry, I just had to say, men don't get ovarian issues. I'm a woman!

In regards to your question, I remember eff all about pretty much anything.
It's like I've become very insular, I'm living life just going through the motions, I don't do anything remarkable, I do the same thing day in and day out.
Unless I actively participate in a thread, I don't remember many details about anything, and the issue I have is that because I have such trouble processing what I'm reading, I don't read detailed or political threads. Partly to do with the processing, and partly to do with people clashing heads all the time.
And it's a sad thing. I read the news on a daily basis. But I remember more that I read on Twitter, than I do anywhere else.

I've noticed however, the fugue lifts for about an hour or two after working out. How to get that fugue to lift and stay lifted, that is the question...

reply to post by Lulzaroonie

Hmm... Well, I'll say you're talking abut something well beyond what I was then. What I'm talking about in adding to the discussion is more a general fuzziness that is right on the edge of being worth mentioning at all ..yet real enough to certainly see it if one looks for it.

On your description, if I might suggest a path to explore? (puts on student hat) One of the classes I tossed in for this Semester teaches success strategies for study in college. I wasn't sure about it's value...but it's just started and I'm impressed.

Our instructor happens to be a Dr. in Neuro-psych, of all things for this class, so we're getting a crash course in memory structure, function and training from the side of pure neurology. What I'd say you might find fun to start with is what are called "Dendrites". What they are, where and why they form..and ESPECIALLY HOW they form to become relational or NOT relational has already dramatically changed some of my study habits...with immediate result! it's a place to start, anyway.

Very brave of you to lay it all out.

When I was in my late teens, I noticed that I felt "half alive" -- like I was trapped in my body but not fully in it. Weird feeling. It's stayed ever since, but either I've gotten used to it or it's lessened. I remember trying to explain it to my then boyfriend, and boy did I feel stupid doing so. But I understand the feeling.

I've had chronic fatigue since getting very ill in high school, but it wasn't "diagnosed" until about the last decade, but I knew I had fatigue. It colored my mood, my interactions with family/friends, and my ability to concentrate, learn, etc. At one point, CFS was so bad, I had brain fog that was impacting my work, my ability to speak (I slurred my words sometimes, forgot words, etc.). I couldn't even balance my checkbook.

Over time, this has turned around dramatically. Here's what I've learned -- water-- healthy (not tap) water -- and lots of it. I tend to always let myself get dehydrated and it causes weird stuff to happen to you. Organic food as much as possible. Good Vit B complex, Vit C and Vit D. I found an incredible chiropractor who has helped me so much, with herbs, vitamins, energy work.

Maybe think about gentle, long-term detox with herbs, water, teas, etc. If you have mercury fillings, if you can afford to, get them replaced. Read about the liver. I now think CFS (and many other problems) might be because of liver overload, that impacts our brains by allowing toxins to reach it.

You owe it to you family to do whatever you can to physically get yourself as healthy as possible and see if you "half alive" feeling changes.

Best of luck to you. You'll be in my thoughts.

I watched an excellent documentary called the skinny on obesity. It links poly cystic ovarian syndrome to an overreaching metabolic syndrome, which is also associated with diabetes, etc.
I suggest you watch it and see if your diet has room for improvement.
I tested around 25 on my vitamin d levels a year ago, then began taking supplements. This last week they were tested and I'm up to 65. 30 is considered low, 50 being optimal.
I had physical symptoms of depression but i wasnt emotionally depressed. Dr wanted to use antidepressants but I really didn't think that was the solution for me. I feel much better today. I also have an auto immune disease that affects my absorption of food so I'm a bit more susceptible to deficiencies.
Keep seeking an answer, you know your body best and know when something's wring.

I began taking vitamin B12, K2 and D3 along with Krill oil, Chlorella powder and Spirulina powder a little over 3 months ago after feeling the way you have described for a few years... I have been feeling much better since doing this... I have been taking numerous prescribed medications for combat related PTSD, chronic pain, hypertension, arrhythmia and high cholesterol for many years but it was the staten drugs for high cholesterol that really messed me up both physically and mentally... I have been able to get off of all of the prescription drugs except for the morphine I take for pain but I take much less of it... I eat less, do not crave sweets, am able to maintain my focus and stay on task much better and have become more physically active.... I feel that I wouldn't have gotten into the bad shape I have been in if I had started taking the supplements and vitamins 15 or 16 years ago... I feel so much better that I'm going to treat myself to a new Triumph Speed Triple R motorcycle for my 63rd birthday next month unless I decide on something faster.

hey op.

you are not experiencing depersonalization. I saw an autobiographical documentary made by a depersonalized person and it is the level of crazy that is really beyond description. just the fact that you can form coherent sentences which reference things such as "my partner" and "my son" is proof of this. if you suggest it to the doc, he won't take you seriously about anything.

I would not be surprised to find that what you describe is extremely common in society. in addition, I think your case night be exacerbated somewhat by a legitimate chemical imbalance. but, if you want to, I believe that you can manually turn your brain back on.

1- diet. focusing heavily on bm regularity and elimination, micronutrients, and avoid overeating at all cost.
2- go to the arxiv (Google it). browse it. find your interest. read those instead of ATS and television.
3- do not avoid medications simply because you presume it to be the common "level headed" approach.
4- yoga. mmmmmm, yes. yoga.

Hey, OP: did you experience weight gain about the time you started feeling blank and slow?

Serious gain, maybe 20, 30% of your initial body weight.

reply to post by tgidkp


Depersonalization isn't a mental illness, it's a stand alone symptomatic disorder of an already established medical condition. The autobiography you saw probably focussed on a person who most likely had depersonalization disorder, but also had a very severe mental illness, or was heavily medicated.

Also, I looked into the arvix thing, and I really appreciate you telling me about it. However, just the words alone are not making much sense, I can't focus on what I'm reading and therefore am unable to process anything. I will look into it some more when I finally shake this fog.

I found this video on YouTube about it, and I picked this one specifically to share because this young guy says it all in his own words. What it is. How it feels. And everything he says is how I personally feel. I would also like to point out his voice. Very flat, sometimes monotone. What scares me, is that he is speaking with my voice. I sound like that.



The good news is, I am going to speak with the doctor this afternoon. Better sooner than later, I think.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I can relate to several of the things you've said here. Actually probably all of them, but not all at the same time as you described. A few years ago I felt like that (I'm 27 now), shrouded, etc. I would go out and play pool or do something and my mind would race and I would just go through the motions. My mind was preoccupied and I couldn't focus nor cared to put much effor into anything. Eventually that part faded I chalked it up to depression, but mostly anxiety, social pressures etc. I pushed through it.

Lately however I've been kinda feeling a little like you described, like dumber maybe? I've always wanted to write, stories/novels but I haven't had the inspiration and time slips by. Maybe that's lack of stimulation. I have stopped playing music and don't really get out much. My girlfriend has become on again off again because I enjoy staying home so much and don't like going out (we don't live together, so staying home alone/hanging with my brother becomes a problem.

However I've considered it could be a seasonal thing. Honestly I think talking about it is the best thing, as lame as that sounds. The fact you are concerned about it means you aren't completely numb or detatched. You would change it if you could, so eventually you will. At least you're not a sociopath right ; P

The reason I was asking about the weight - I have a buddy whose thyroid gland just quit, due to something called Hashimoto's Disease.

No symptoms really, you just kill your own thyroid, more or less totally. With your thyroid out of the picture, you start gaining weight, but you also lose interest in, well, pretty much everything. And you get this flat, monotone thing, and his IQ dropped like a bomb. Turned into this round faced thicko in about two months. Right after exercise, he was less thick. But when the exertion stopped, his metabolism shut back down, thicko.

Now he eats one pill a day, cheap as dirt, he's my old friend again. It might be just that simple.

edit to add: it's more prevalent in women in their late 20's early 30's...

Originally posted by Bedlam
The reason I was asking about the weight - I have a buddy whose thyroid gland just quit, due to something called Hashimoto's Disease.

No symptoms really, you just kill your own thyroid, more or less totally. With your thyroid out of the picture, you start gaining weight, but you also lose interest in, well, pretty much everything. And you get this flat, monotone thing, and his IQ dropped like a bomb. Turned into this round faced thicko in about two months. Right after exercise, he was less thick. But when the exertion stopped, his metabolism shut back down, thicko.

Now he eats one pill a day, cheap as dirt, he's my old friend again. It might be just that simple.

edit to add: it's more prevalent in women in their late 20's early 30's...

edit on 22-1-2013 by Bedlam because: (no reason given)

Sorry, I forgot to reply!
I've had thyroid tests, countless in fact over the last year or so, due to my quest to get my diagnosis for PCOS.
My aunt has Hashimoto's, but results have shown there is nothing wrong with my thyroid.
BUT, in the last 3/4 years, I've gained 50% of my body weight. I used to be 155-160lbs, and boomed up to 240 in what seems like no time at all.
Only now that I'm eating like a fairy and exercising on an almost daily basis, have I lost 20lbs. But that wasn't without really hard work.
However, exercise brings respite for the period shortly after the exertion. 1-2 hours tops. Then its back to Fogville.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


There's a specific test for Hashimoto's...you can also develop an auto-immunity to your own thyroid binding protein, in which case you have to take an AWFUL amount of thyroid to compensate. You can have what seems a normal thyroid level and no way to get it into the cells.

Buddy takes several hundred mikes a day to saturate what binding proteins he has left, it would kill a normal human.

Reply to post by Lulzaroonie

I hate to hear you're dealing with this, but I have seen, and and experienced this same thing, but and chronic emotional distress can cause the same thing.
Depression can sneak up on you, and if you don't have to feel that way, and so can stress. From your posts it appears as if you financial are really stretched, please believe that these things can cause a huge burden.
Bitterness, un forgiveness, and despair, over time can cause one to emotionally "shut off", just as you describe.
When you bear a pain to for so long, your body acclimated to it and you don't notice what the cause is. Could this be it? Now I'm no expert please take my words with a grain of salt, but from my few years experience in the ministry, I've met a lot of people who appear to behave in the same way, and I even in the past I have described myself in the exact same way, just numb.


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

Originally posted by Bedlam
reply to post by Lulzaroonie

 

There's a specific test for Hashimoto's...you can also develop an auto-immunity to your own thyroid binding protein, in which case you have to take an AWFUL amount of thyroid to compensate. You can have what seems a normal thyroid level and no way to get it into the cells.

Buddy takes several hundred mikes a day to saturate what binding proteins he has left, it would kill a normal human.

The thing that bothers me is the jumping through hoops I have to do to get my doctors to listen to me. It gets to a point now where I have to write down exactly what I want to say to my doctor because I get so stressed when I get there that I get flustered and can't properly convey why I'm there for fear that they won't take me seriously.

I might as well ask them to make me a residency at the hospital, and just hook me up to everything until they find something

As it is, whether this thing is just a side effect of bipolar (which I haven't suffered with in a number of years - until recently, it has to be said), or something entirely new, I really need for them to listen to me, and I'm one of those people that gets easily intimidated and when someone professional tells me no, I usually back down and leave.

Originally posted by wjones837
Reply to post by Lulzaroonie

 

I hate to hear you're dealing with this, but I have seen, and and experienced this same thing, but and chronic emotional distress can cause the same thing.
Depression can sneak up on you, and if you don't have to feel that way, and so can stress. From your posts it appears as if you financial are really stretched, please believe that these things can cause a huge burden.
Bitterness, un forgiveness, and despair, over time can cause one to emotionally "shut off", just as you describe.
When you bear a pain to for so long, your body acclimated to it and you don't notice what the cause is. Could this be it? Now I'm no expert please take my words with a grain of salt, but from my few years experience in the ministry, I've met a lot of people who appear to behave in the same way, and I even in the past I have described myself in the exact same way, just numb.

 

Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

 

Very much! I can't pinpoint when I began to feel like this so I can't entirely say what triggered it, but I can pin point when I started noticing it.
I don't mean to sound like a moaning minnie, and I say this only as a reference, but things have been emotionally hard for a number of years now. It's entirely possible that to just stop feeling like I was being # on all the time, I just turned it all off.

As it is, I use exercise as a mechanism to keep the blues at bay, and its been incredibly successful, and even during the classes I do, I switch off and go auto-pilot. I've done the classes a hundred time, it's all routine based, once I'm down on the routine, that's it. I retreat inside and the body keeps moving.
I got really sick at the beginning of December (for the first time since I'd starting working out regularly, which had been more than a year), and wasn't well again until Christmas eve. Due to taking time out from working out to get well again, my depression has slapped me full force and I even had a mild manic episode about two weeks ago where I ended up locking my other half out of the house for almost losing the cat. I shouldn't laugh, but it sounds utterly ridiculous when you tell other people about it.

That aside, the shroud has been there for as long as I can remember. And being that my memory is pretty poor right now, I can't tell if it's been months or even years.