I feel like I'm switching off.

I want to discuss something that has been bothering me for, probably a year or so now.
I have no name for whatever this is, and I have no evidence, so it's purely something I want to discuss and play about with for the time being.

Since leaving mandatory schooling at 16, I've gradually felt that I am becoming dumber. This is probably no phenomenon in itself. Without the constant stimulation and feed of knowledge we would get on a daily basis, I guess our brains have stopped developing.
What concerns me is the rate at which I seem to be getting 'dumber'.

I'm only 26, I left school 11 years ago, and during that time, I've been to college three times and taken University courses.
The issue is that despite the constant thirst for knowledge, I don't understand anything any more. It's like the subject, the words, the material, has all stayed the same, but my ability to process it is just defunct.
I enjoy maths, but I'm finding it impossible to manage my finances. What should be a simple matter of looking after in going and out goings on specific dates, is such a challenge, I break down. I have to have someone help me manage it because I can't do it by myself any more.

The other thing, is that I feel like I'm not really even here half the time. I know it sounds utterly crazy, but I feel like I'm a just consciousness within a shell. But the shell isn't alert. I look through eyes that don't feel like they're really seeing anything. I stare blankly at things for a few minutes and all the while, my brain is ticking over, but I feel so vacant.
I don't feel alive, if that makes sense. I feel like I'm shrouded, and I can't pass beyond the veil and wake myself up. I don't ever feel alert.

I have normal faculties, I experience sensations, I have all my senses. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I rarely drink. I exercise 5 times a week but instead of feeling more energetic, I feel more and more tired.
I used to be so out going, and vivacious, I used to have a really active social life, but now I'm so tired all the time, I seek to be alone 99% of the time, despite having a family. I'm NOT depressed! I've been depressed, this isn't anything like it.
I've had tests, boy have I had tests. I've had so many tests, the results were pouring out my wazoo.
I wear glasses, because I have slight short sightedness and astigmatism. I also have a hormone imbalance (I have polycystic ovarian syndrome).

I'm really loathe to even share this on here, because I know I'm going to get a bunch of replies saying to seek medical attention, get brain scans etc.
The issue is how do I even approach the subject with a doctor?

"Doctor, I don't feel real, like I'm not awake but still awake, whats wrong with me?"

What is your diet primarily comprised of?

I'm just going to say, you're not alone and you may be rare in actually having the capability to self analyse and realize it's happening ....but for that too, rare doesn't mean unique or alone.

I'd also ask what Rx you're on and for how long you've been on it. Don't answer that..it's rhetorical. T&C and all to get directly into it ... but ask yourself that. If the answer really is one of those rare no's ... What is your water supply for drinking , cooking and bathing ..and how much Rx are you consuming through THAT in interacting trace amounts every day? (Studies for how much trace IS actually in water we consume in all ways is ....life changing to learn about)

No, you're not alone...and somehow, I think it's comforting to hear by others that there are others not just experiencing some of the same things but realizing it too.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


Sincere sympathies

As you stated other than to seek medical advice theres not much I can say.
Have you told the DR what you just told us? using the same words I mean?

Have you tried meditation?

In my personal non expert opinion it seems like you have become disassociated, do you have any hobbies or interests?
How about a BF (or GF if thats your thing)?

I have the same feeling. What i think it is hormone imbalance I how ever am a male. Don't know if it helps if your on birth control i would get off it for 90 days plus.

"Doctor, I don't feel real, like I'm not awake but still awake, whats wrong with me?"

Tell your doctor this exactly...and go into description as you did in your OP. Since you knew the suggestions were going to be medically related then perhaps that's your subconscious screaming at you to go do so.

It could be something as simple as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or as extreme as a brain tumor, there's no way of knowing unless you go see those qualified to assess your symptoms, possible condition(s), and any necessary treatment.

Good luck!

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I don't know of anyway I can help you aside from to say that you are certainly not alone. I feel EXACTLY the same way you have described there. Maybe it is something we are eating or drinking?

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


What is Rx, I am very interested?

reply to post by michael1983l


Prescription medication = Rx

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


I'm no doctor of course, but I would not recommend or advise medication as another poster suggested. Personally, I think you seem quite "normal". Think of our minds as a computer but living and more intricate, but just like a computer we need to rest/sleep and we need shut down time and when we get overloaded with information such as knowledge, learning, pressures, work, relationships, money and the things we witness happening on a grand scale, we might feel overloaded to deal with these things. I call it the numb mode, some people live there, some people just go there to regroup and come back stronger.

Anyway, I hope you feel better and try not to over analyze yourself and focus on what's most important and vital in your life and take it all in steps

Thanks for the speedy replies, everyone, I was expecting much more "You nut" and not so much support!

In short, regarding medication, I'm not taking any. For anything. Used to be I was taking a med for bipolar disorder, but after taking up exercise on a regular basis, I've not used it in the last 2.5 years, because I've not needed it.

Diet wise, not too bad, could be better in places. I eat as much fruit and veg as I can afford, we love them in our house. I don't really eat red meat because I can't afford it.

I have a partner, we've been together five years, and have a son. What should be a constant source of joy (though they are when I'm not being like this) I seek to stay away from, and thats something that really hurts me.

I did a little bit of internet research once I found some terms which I could work with properly on Google.
Came up with something called Depersonalization.

Individuals who experience depersonalization feel divorced from their own personal physicality by sensing their body sensations, feelings, emotions and behaviors as not belonging to the same person or identity.

This couldn't be more spot on for how I feel. And the fact this marries up with sleep deprivation (I'm up around 5:30 every day, whether I like it or not), migraines (which I used to get so often but stopped once I began exercising more) and bipolar disorder as a symptom perhaps makes me think that despite not having any of my usual bipolar markers, perhaps I'm just riding out a really long episode. Like I say, I don't really know how long I've felt so detached.

I just really don't want to go back on medication. Nothing has been more beneficial for me than exercise, hoping more exercise will sort me out.
But I WILL (and I promise all of you) go to see the Dr as soon as this snow is melted. It so happens I'm going on Thursday for a trip to the dietician, so if I can fit in a double whammy, and see a doctor at the same time, that'll be a bonus.

I didn't think this was actually a thing, I thought I might just be ill in the head or something.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie
I have had some weird health issues over the last couple of years as well and literally felt like someone was flipping my "life switch" off and on. I am doing better now that I went off the birth control pill as was suggested here already. I also went to a nutritionist that does iridology and kinesiology and confirmed that I have a problem digesting gluten, corn, fats, and sugar. I've made some serious diet changes and feel pretty good now - no more switch getting flipped off. My next step is to try NUCCA chiropractic. I had a preliminary evaluation and appear to be a good candidate for that.

Someone also mentioned meditation. There is a siimple chakra opening exercise that you can do to get yourself grounded. (lots of info on the web re: chakras if you are not familiar) Sit (or stand) up straight, eyes closed. Breath up from the ground into your 1st chakra then back down 3 times. Next breath up from the ground, through your 1st chakra and into your 2nd chakra then back down 3 times. Repeat until you have completed for your crown chakra. Then reverse the process starting with your crown chakra and breathing down from the sky/sun through each chakra in turn. Do this exercise with the intent of becoming grounded and centered.

Be very encouraged that you are self-aware enough to realize what's happening and to seek help. Hope you find some answers and relief soon.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


It is amazing how you mention Bipolar Disorder, I too was taking meds for this for a long while, maybe there is a connection there to what you describe. I seriously have exactly the same symptoms as you so maybe there is much more than just a coincedence here. Did you ever take olanzapine?

Nope you're not alone Lulz. The only concern I have is that you're only 26.
Lately I'm feeling that my batteries need a recharge but I'm 46. I attribute
it to being a 40 something mental condition and my less than stellar diet.

You could have Depersonalization Disorder.

Wikipedia: Depersonalization Disorder

Longstanding or recurring feelings of being detached from one's mental processes or body, as if one is observing them from the outside or in a dream.

Reality testing is unimpaired during depersonalization

Depersonalization causes significant difficulties or distress at work, or social and other important areas of life functioning.

Depersonalization does not only occur while the individual is experiencing another mental disorder, and is not associated with substance use or a medical illness.

The DSM-IV-TR specifically recognizes three possible additional features of depersonalization disorder: Derealization, experiencing the external world as strange or unreal. Macropsia or micropsia, an alteration in the perception of object size or shape. A sense that other people seem unfamiliar or mechanical.

The most common immediate precipitators of the disorder are severe stress; major depressive disorder and panic;

It doesn't really sound that serious to me compared to other things that are out there, so don't feel bad, maybe go see a psychiatrist. No brain scans or anything should be needed. I would bet there is definitely some depression.

It's so sad that I've had to come to an internet forum and you people have listened to me and accepted what I say off the bat.
When it comes to things like this, it's never been this easy.
I battled for 3 years to even get a diagnosis for having ovarian issues, and I had months of counselling before anyone thought to send me to a psych.

I'm not a hypochondriac but often I have looked into something, and thought that the symptoms sound like what I am experiencing, particularly with the bipolar and the PCOS, and it has turned out to be spot on.
I just went to go and talk to my fiancé about the things I was struggling with, and how I was feeling, and the first things out his mouth where, "What is it this time? You always think there's something wrong with you."

It bothers me too that I am so young, and yet I feel physically, emotionally and mentally twenty years older than I am.

I get the same problem, I can litteraly feel myself getting thicker.
Turned out to be vitamin B1 deficiency.
I thought the doctor would laugh at me, man I was wrong take the trip do the bloods nothing to lose.

reply to post by cody599


Doesn't help my spelling though
Easier to post again than edit

I don't know if any of you have visited the Vitamin C threads, but all the symptoms I see you experiencing have been greatly reduced by higher doses of vitamin. Higher doses that are not available through diet or pills.

I'm not going to try to sell you on it, but offer the information for you to read up on so that you can make a decision whether this would benefit you.

I would actually love to see one of you that are experiencing these symptoms to try the Liposomal Vitamin C and share your feedback on changes or improvements in your life.

The links are all in my signature.

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


It might be a good idea to look into acupuncture or acupressure. Also try to get get at least 8 hours of sleep a night as sleep deprivation causes exactly what you describe. Try drinking mint or peppermint tea in the evening about an hour or so before going to bed.