Helpful suggestions for dealing with an apparent night time visitor to my little boy

Originally posted by w810i
reply to post by SplitInfinity

 

What prompted me to write this asking for advice from other parents that have encountered this is that this is the first time he has acted this way.

edit on 31-12-2012 by w810i because: (no reason given)

I think that is the important thing to remember here....it was the FIRST time he as ever acted this way. I have 5 children and i would say it is completely NORMAL for any small child to have isolated incidents of this kind of behaviour or phases of it. I think going into any in-depth analysis of this upto yet isolated incident is hugely premature.


As for the suggestion that you should enable a child to feel empowered by the use of imaginary ghost traps or magical sword's etc....I have to agree with the other poster who felt it was a bad idea....at your son's age personally I wouldn't reinforce the idea he had to protect himself from a perceived threat. At that age, all a child need's to know is that YOU the parent are the protector and won't allow any harm to come to him and will come in the way of anything that tries! As a parent of 5 It's my personal belief that that will in-still more confidence and security in a small child than discussing how he deal's with perceived threat's himself!

Good luck

reply to post by w810i


Both of my children had night terrors around that age. It lasted until they were around 6 yrs old. We always had to check the closet and under the bed. I bought a can of lysol and covered the can with colored paper and drew a cute monster on it adding in big letters saying MONSTER SPRAY. I would make this big production. As I walked around their rooms with the spray. I would tell them (the monsters) it is time for bed and only angels are allowed here while we sleep, as I sprayed the areas of concern.

My children would get these silly little grins on their face. They are grown now and love scary movies. Go figure!

reply to post by w810i


Glad that it seems to just be a one time thing. Also, I have to say that I agree with you letting your child in bed with you and not making him feel as though he is imagining what he saw, while not overplaying it either.

I had this type of thing happen to me as a kid and all I remember about it is that I saw something, screamed for my parents, and dad came in and told me that it was my imagination and go back to bed. I was never allowed to go in their room and he wouldn't stay for any time in mine. That's all I remember, not what I saw, or any other details, just that my dad didn't believe me and I was forced to stay alone with my terror.

As another poster said though, I don't hold a grudge, I know my parents were trying to do what they thought was right. I've been a parent for almost 33 years and I always allowed my kids access to me and held them when they needed it. They are more well adjusted than I am.

I'm not sure there is any explanation you need to give your son. For me, it was sufficient that my parents were always sympathetic, never dismissive, and quite open about the fact they didn't know what I was experiencing but left it open that there are many odd things in this world, some of them kind of scary, but not necessarily harmful or even real, and that my parents were always within earshot and always vigilant and always open to my cries of help. Which was a good thing when an intruder broke in, once when I was a child and again later when I was older. I mean, it's not always about the supernatural after all. A parent's job is to secure the premises to the best of their abilities and let the child know they are doing so and will always answer a distress call and never make their child feel small or silly or burdensome.

It is interesting you found a cold spot. We have something very cold and human sized and shaped that turns up all over the house and even out in the front garden in the middle of a hot summer day. My daughter and I have even poked our fingers at it. We see less of it now that we had the pivotal conversation in the garden where we acknowledged it being there and said we were okay with it being around if it didn't harm or distress anyone. Now it is rare to experience it. Even my skeptic husband has "met" it, much to his shock and bewilderment.

There are still other less neutral presences and feelings around this place so I have finally had enough and am working on moving. But the cold thing seems the most neutral weird thing around. There are more of these things in the woods behind the house. I've no idea what they are and no plans to try and find out. I never encountered such things except in this house. I hope when we move we don't take any unwanted hangers-on.

Figured I would pop in and update this. So its been several weeks since I posted this and since then its happened 2 additional times, same set up, however I think I've possibly located a potential cause. When I sleep I listen to Tibetan Singing bowls or other white noise type of sounds from my computer. These occurrences have all been while that was playing in the background.

Originally posted by w810i
Figured I would pop in and update this. So its been several weeks since I posted this and since then its happened 2 additional times, same set up, however I think I've possibly located a potential cause. When I sleep I listen to Tibetan Singing bowls or other white noise type of sounds from my computer. These occurrences have all been while that was playing in the background.

That's an interesting twist; thanks for updating the thread. Good on you for making the connection between the music and the night problems. It's possible the music is seeping into his dreams, and causing some scary imagery for him. Hope the little guy (and you) gets some decent sleep from now on.

Had you thought to give him a flash light? Do this and tell him, "if he shines a light in their eyes it will blind them and they can't see him".
I have not read all the replies to you post, but this is the first thing which came to my mind.

When I was very young, I began to dream about an old woman coming through a window and trying to cut me. I would tell my parents about it and they told me "It's only a dream." Well yea! But it was still scarry to me.
I tried to stay awake but that don't work. Finally I had "dreamed" it enough. I decided one of us was not going to like what happened the next time this old woman came through the window. The next time she began to come in, I crawled up high in my bed and jumped at her as hard as I could.
I jumped off the foot end of the bed onto the floor and woke up everyone in the house. That was the last time I had that dream and the last time I remember being afraid of the dark. I think I just had to learn there was nothing in the dark that is not in the light.
Or, as I told my kids, "What ever is in the dark had best be afraid of me!" ha ha ha

Originally posted by avocadoshag

Originally posted by w810i
Figured I would pop in and update this. So its been several weeks since I posted this and since then its happened 2 additional times, same set up, however I think I've possibly located a potential cause. When I sleep I listen to Tibetan Singing bowls or other white noise type of sounds from my computer. These occurrences have all been while that was playing in the background.

That's an interesting twist; thanks for updating the thread. Good on you for making the connection between the music and the night problems. It's possible the music is seeping into his dreams, and causing some scary imagery for him. Hope the little guy (and you) gets some decent sleep from now on.

Thanks. I think thats a key factor, however, I think that its one part of an overall bigger picture. He has slept good since I've stopped playing it.

Originally posted by teamcommander
Had you thought to give him a flash light? Do this and tell him, "if he shines a light in their eyes it will blind them and they can't see him".
I have not read all the replies to you post, but this is the first thing which came to my mind.

When I was very young, I began to dream about an old woman coming through a window and trying to cut me. I would tell my parents about it and they told me "It's only a dream." Well yea! But it was still scarry to me.
I tried to stay awake but that don't work. Finally I had "dreamed" it enough. I decided one of us was not going to like what happened the next time this old woman came through the window. The next time she began to come in, I crawled up high in my bed and jumped at her as hard as I could.
I jumped off the foot end of the bed onto the floor and woke up everyone in the house. That was the last time I had that dream and the last time I remember being afraid of the dark. I think I just had to learn there was nothing in the dark that is not in the light.
Or, as I told my kids, "What ever is in the dark had best be afraid of me!" ha ha ha

edit on 4-2-2013 by teamcommander because: (no reason given)

When he is a little older I will potentially go that route I know now if I were to do that he wouldn't go to sleep he would lay there and play with it.

Somewhere around the age of 6 or 7 I remember staying up till midnight on Friday night and watching creature feature. I don't remember what the movie was but I had a bad dream and woke my parents up in the middle of the night, telling them that there was something in my closet. I remember my dad telling me to "man up" and quit being a sissy. I went back to bed and somehow managed to survive until morning. I don't recall having any more bad dreams but I realized I was more afraid of waking my dad up in the middle of the night than anything that might be hiding in my closet.
He was tough as nails back then and is still a force of nature. He's 72 and just bought a new Harley. I was never as hard on my kids as he was on me, but I can't fault him for his parenting skills. He was all about "tough love" before it was even called that.

I wouldn't humor my kids and give them any reason to suspect that their fears were anything more than their imagination. As by uncle Barny Fife used to say..."Nip it in the bud!"

reply to post by Sparky63


Which is fine. Just not my parenting style. I want my son to know that I am his protector and if something scares him he can come to me and not be afraid I am going to be dismissive of it.

wow

kids are "pure" receivers, they have little to no bias, but they also have great imaginations, so they are sketchy witnesses

I think kids are more in tune to their surroundings, so I would take him seriously, comfort him, but give him confidence that he is safe at home

I think its because they still so close to the veil that separates our worlds and also because they haven't been
taught that things like this do not exist.

reply to post by Sparky63


Wow, Creature Feature... the memories come flooding in. I used to watch that all the time. I can relate to your description of your dad. Mine would have been 93 this year. Never owned a Harley, but he did ride one in the service (Navy Seabees). Dad used to tell me when I was crying about something "you want me to stomp on your toe and make you forget about that?".

And on topic, right or wrong, that's what my dad did, told us it was in our imagination and go back to bed. I guess I kind of used the same methods when I was first a father in the '80s, but I wasn't quite as rigid. I did let my kids come in my room if they were having a really bad time.


Have to add, I'm now the father of a three year old boy with my current wife and he sleeps in bed with us every night. Says he's scared to sleep in his own bed. Mom started bringing him in our bed and now there's no getting him out.

reply to post by DerepentLEstranger


damn it man good post but now im going to go read these keys of solomon cause you mentioned it and taken with the context of this thread i would like to read these unless they leave me open to some sort of demonic or ghostly crap can i find them on the internet or library cause now im wondering but i dont feel like reading some possibly occcult book about magic for summoning demons or would it be safe to look at it just not do any thing in them soooooo yeah