Helpful suggestions for dealing with an apparent night time visitor to my little boy

Originally posted by ChaoticOrder
reply to post by anton74

 

A nightlight could be considered a utility.

Yes but a nightlight is useful against real threats too. It works because the child doesn't like being in a dark room where they can't see what's happening. That poses a real threat to them because there could actually be a burglar or something.

But giving them magic swords and ghost traps is absolutely absurd. Perhaps it may make them feel a bit safer, but it will also make them feel like the threat is real, which can be much much worse. What happens when the traps don't catch anything?

They are now going to feel completely defenseless against a threat which they now feel is so real it requires traps to stop it.

Yes magic traps and Magical swords are absurd, just like the Boogeyman. Would I be correct if I said you don't have children? They spend the majority of their time in a land of make-believe. A real threat? How is a 5 yr old going to stop a burglar? That is the parents job. You are trying to make they child feel like they have control over something that THEY AREADY FEEL DEFENSELESS AGAINST. They already feel the threat is real. Please remember we are already past the point you are talking about. This isn't a mental illness, it is a stage in a childs life. They traps will never catch anything, but it is a defensive measure for them. I think maybe your don't understand what I''m trying to say. You want to make the child feel like they have control over their fear. It doesn't have to be a trap or sword. It could me anything.

reply to post by w810i

I've been debating whether to reply public or U2U, simply because it's getting awfully rough again and ugh... I didn't know Paranormal was an aggressive debate forum, eh? I guess every forum can be these days.

I appreciate your replies and additional information. I'm also considering what you have said you felt or at least believe possible by your own gut and intuition. That's 250,000 years of evolution speaking to us when it bothers to pipe up with something to communicate. I think we ignore that at our peril...in general terms.

So, if your impression during this wasn't to strictly humor your son for a completely baseless night terror only the young can seem to create, then I for one take that as enough to consider the idea he may have very well been looking right at something.

As some others have said and I've seen myself...Animals absolutely do appear to see and visually track motion of things we cannot see. It seems the ultimate in hubris, to me anyway, to look upon the world around us and assume we know all there is to know and all there is to discover in any fundamental way.

With all of the above in mind for context, if this had happened in my home I'd be doing 2 things. First, I would question my son as lightly in mood and tone as possible ...and remain light and casual regardless of what's said or what it might trigger internally for reaction... Another poster had a good point about feeding into a problem, especially before being confident something really happened. I also WOULD NOT do that in the home. Whatever was there or he thought was there, scared him badly. You indicated that even when it shouldn't have been an issue, he was whispers when it came to the critical part. Perhaps he's not as sure about it being entirely over in his mind. Kids are Kids...if nothing else here. So heck.. I'd probably take my Son over to pizza for lunch or even the park. Somewhere totally removed from the drama and intensity of this ...and then find out what he saw.

Second..and if the first question leaves an open issue for what happened here ... I'm a tech-minded sort of guy. I've got a few but buying one is only $15-$20. Get a web cam so if this ever happens again or continues to be an issue you can record that area. A few bucks from a site like Monoprice will get you up to 25ft USB extensions and quite a bit further if a bit more can be spent for a powered extension. (Yeah, people say it can't run on 25ft..I learned that in Networking courses myself...and my Webcam in the carport on 30ft of un-boosted USB cable disagrees...lol)

^^ The Camera will give you two things. First, IF there is actually something to this..you MAY catch something in what he's seeing. Maybe nothing but a shimmer like heat mirage on a hot day. That may quite possibly be all it ever catches too...so watch it VERY carefully if you get that far. Otherwise? Your recording during a future incident will serve later to convince him in a way kids accept these days (pics or it didn't happen after all,..lol) that nothing was actually there.

(The Cam I have in the carport..$20 at Big Lotts...Also has light amplification. NOT Night Vision..just amplifies what is there, so I can easily see people better than opening the door and looking with my eyes at night...it'll see more than you can if tuned a bit)

Originally posted by CJCrawley
Not a parent myself so don't know how useful this is going to be, but one thing stood out from your post head and shoulders above everything else - your son sleeps with you frequently.

Probably every kid goes through a phase of waking in the dead of night scared stiff and making their way to their parents' bed for safety.

I certainly did and occasionally my mother would let me sleep in the bed; but my father would often berate me and make me get back in my own bed. I turned out fine, by the way.

It's up to you how you want to play it; offering your bed to your child is fine now and then, but I wouldn't encourage it.

And I never, but never "dived" into my parents' bed!

Sounds like he feels he doesn't even need to ask permission...maybe something you need to look at.

As for spooks...please.

w810i, if your son is scared and needs reassurance there's nothing wrong with him "diving" into your bed.

I've been a single parent for 14 years; I was left with three young boys and I never, ever discouraged them from climbing into bed with me when they were young. Divorce or separation is difficult for children of any age, and toddlers especially have a tough time dealing with the change in lifestyle. My youngest son had recurring nightmares of being lost, looking for me and not being able to find me. His subconscious mind was dealing with the fact that mom wasn't around and his fears of abandonment were coming through in his dreams. They all went to sleep in their own beds, but many nights during the first years I woke up to one (or more) kid next to me.

Many years later, my sons have grown into fine young men, well adjusted and secure.

As for the issue in your OP, I would suggest getting him to draw a picture of what he thinks he saw. He likely has difficulty expressing in words what he saw, but maybe putting his fears on paper might get them off his chest.

I hope your son doesn't experience any more of these night terrors and you get many nights of good sleep.

reply to post by w810i


May I ask, the next time this happens to you, try to say, " in the name of The Lord Jesus Christ depart from me". I do not mean to offend you, but see how the boy reacts when that happens, perhaps?

I do not mean to push my beliefs on you. Just offering a suggestion to try.

Ive had this with my 6year old son,he seems to have inherited clairvoyancy from his father.The creepiest episode yet occured when he was between the ages of 2-3,one night.I was sitting outside,it was December,so, hot as hell here in summer.I had hairdye on my hair,which is why i went to sit outside,by the kitchen door.Also,it was pitchdark outside,the outside light was broken,but with the kitchen door open,there was enough light to see by.He was outside with me,when he started pointing into the kitchen,saying:"Close the door,close the door,it's ugly!!" Almost hysterical with fear.I said that if i closed the kitchen door,i'd be cutting off the light+we'd be outside in the pitchdark(figured he'd find that even more scary) Next thing he crawls onto my lap,buries his face against my body and screams:"Cover me,i don't wanna see it,cover me!" I was alone too,the hubby was on standby+got called to work.I took my son inside and distracted him with toys,but that was really creepy.Then one day him+the hubby was outside in broad daylight when he saw it.My husband did a prayer/ banishing and he told me,our son was gleefully happy to report that "It" was running away.So far,it has'nt returned.Re your experience,i read somewhere that entities/spirits often appear in the top corners of a room?

Just do what Sarah Connor did when John Connor was afraid of the monsters hiding in his closet. Shoot 3 rounds of ammo into that closer or corner. No more bad guys!

Yes I did get that from a Fictional Story.

www.fanfiction.net...

"I don't have any bothers or sisters." Connor said finally. "When I was your age, the monsters in the closet bothered me a bit too. So I told my mom. Mom came into my room, pulled a gun, and shot three holes in my closet." Sarah and Robbie giggled. "Monsters are terrified of kids with big brothers and sisters. You know why? Because big brothers and sisters have already faced the monsters, and gown up big enough to scare them away. There's no monster alive that can beat someone who is unafraid. So Robbie, you're safe. You've got Sarah here to scare the monsters away. Okay?"

By the way that is a 410,000 word story, and it is an awesome story. Get reading it if you like the Terminator!

quote]Originally posted by samsamm9

And the next time your boy points at that spot, take a gun and just SHOOT.
That's what an American should do, I suppose.



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Thats crazy but hilarious!

On a serious note, pray in your house and clear it. If you have/stream porn in your house or anything, it's normal to attract spirits. Sometimes they are attracted anyways for various reasons. Kids are more sensitive to these things on some level I think. I can remember as a child I sensed and saw things quite a few times.

quote]Originally posted by samsamm9

And the next time your boy points at that spot, take a gun and just SHOOT.
That's what an American should do, I suppose.

Originally posted by milkyway12
reply to post by w810i

 

May I ask, the next time this happens to you, try to say, " in the name of The Lord Jesus Christ depart from me". I do not mean to offend you, but see how the boy reacts when that happens, perhaps?

I do not mean to push my beliefs on you. Just offering a suggestion to try.

This will only work if you believe in the power of Jesus.

In any case, you are his dad and have a say in what visits him. If it happens again, tell whatever it is that is there to go away and not come back, that you forbid it to visit your son. Out loud.

i suggest introducing to your son the concept of guardian angels, read up on them if you want to kno more or ask me. there is lots of protection out there that we all have.

Originally posted by avocadoshag


if your son is scared and needs reassurance there's nothing wrong with him "diving" into your bed.

I beg to differ. There's nothing wrong with your son asking to sleep in your bed; it's the "diving" bit I have a problem with.

I don't think it is healthy to encourage your kids to sleep with you, you have to promote independence even at an early age.

At any rate, if you're fine with your kids diving into your bed night after night, you can't really be surprised when they see ghosties and ghoulies in the corner of the room. You're kind of to blame for that.

Promote independence and my guess is that the ghosts will magically disappear.

In my own case, I was scared because I awoke in pitch blackness, so maybe a night-light would help. Or leave the landing light on.

reply to post by w810i


Firstly, believe your child. Its quite possible children see things and at times remember things that living life has not taken away from them yet. The good thing is children believe in magic so just maybe.......a magic blanket will keep the "whatever" away. One thing is that children dont forget trauma and they dont forget who didnt believe them. Just my 2 cents. What ever it is...........Daddy can save him from it. A secure child turns into a well adjusted child.

reply to post by w810i


I read and re-read your OP, but I'm not clear about something. Did you talk to your son about this "event" after the fact? Like well into the next day? I ask this because I have 3 daughters myself. The oldest 2 are adults and moved out but my youngest is still a pre-teen. She had slept with us off and on for a long time and there is nothing wrong with that unless you have no heart. Anyway, she would often "wake up" in the middle of the night and either have a conversation with us or try to get up or whatever. Sometimes it was a little unsettling. In the morning, however, she remembered none of it even though to us she seemed wide awake and conscious at the time. It has become somewhat of a joke now, but even then it helped to know that she was really not awake.

So have you asked your son about this after the fact? You may find that he doesn't even remember it. If he does remember though, in my experience it is very comforting for a child to be "protected" in bed with mommy and/or daddy. I'm not saying you play along though. I still to this day remind my children (mostly my youngest...my older daughters have their own different opinions ) that there are no ghosts, no boogie-men, no aliens in the room or anything - it's just their brains making shapes out of the darkness and shadows (pareidolia)...

When my boy was about 4-5 years old he had my current office as a bedroom, one night he came in to our room as he had just seen 3 faces looking into his room through the glass panel above the door, he was in his bunk bed. I got him to explain what he saw, which was 3 peoples faces but they had black eyes like a demon. Just told told him he would be OK and to tell me if he saw anything else then he went back to bed, I have always been honest about the paranormal things. The room has had orbs in it over his bed, it is quite now it is my office.

Originally posted by CJCrawley

Originally posted by avocadoshag


if your son is scared and needs reassurance there's nothing wrong with him "diving" into your bed.

I beg to differ. There's nothing wrong with your son asking to sleep in your bed; it's the "diving" bit I have a problem with.

I don't think it is healthy to encourage your kids to sleep with you, you have to promote independence even at an early age.

At any rate, if you're fine with your kids diving into your bed night after night, you can't really be surprised when they see ghosties and ghoulies in the corner of the room. You're kind of to blame for that.

Promote independence and my guess is that the ghosts will magically disappear.

In my own case, I was scared because I awoke in pitch blackness, so maybe a night-light would help. Or leave the landing light on.

I beg to differ. Showing your children that you love them and that, while you don't see anything and that there's nothing there in reality - but it's still ok to jump in and not "ask permission" to get some comfort like some rigid, unfeeling prison camp - actually will show your children that they are loved unconditionally and that you are there for them.

Sheesh - children are beautiful gifts to be cherished and loved, not some soldier to stand at attention in the hallway until they have permission to be consoled... wow!

Originally posted by samsamm9

And the next time your boy points at that spot, take a gun and just SHOOT.
That's what an American should do, I suppose.

Wow - can you be any more brainlessly generalizing?

I suppose all of those Americans screaming for gun control would have just taken a gun out and shot at undefined shadows as well? I am an armed American and, other than targets at a gun range, I have never shot anything. And I was once robbed at gunpoint...but I still don't blame the gun. Perhaps we should outlaw cars since more people are killed by cars than by guns? It has been claimed in some reports that doctors/hospitals are the third leading cause of death in America due to mistakes, infections, unnecessary surgery, etc. Perhaps we should make healthcare illegal in America since doctors and hospitals kill more people than guns?

reply to post by milkyway12


Just uttering those words is like admitting the insane notion that Jesus had superpowers is true. Despite your claim, that is pushing your beliefs on someone.

Hello -
I'm a mom of two young children, and also someone who has had a lot of nightmares and night terrors as a child herself.

First, paranormal aside, I personally believe it is important to acknowledge the fear your child was feeling (meaning, don't just brush off something that is very real and very traumatic to them - he looks to you for comfort and understanding)... but it is also important to not dwell on it. You could say something like "sometimes I have bad dreams too, and they scare me. But they are just dreams and they cannot hurt me. Want to hear my favorite lullaby?" and sooth him back to sleep.

Of course, with kids nothing is ever as easy - right? That's what always cracks me up about 80% of parenting advice - it assumes things actually work. Kids are not that simple.

When I was a kid and had nightmare and terrors, I got to an age that I understood it was my imagination. When I was about 5 or 6 I decided that if the monsters were just imaginary, then they could be destroyed by an imaginary gun. So I'd use my fingers, point at the monsters with my 'gun' and blast them away. This worked for me. It was kid logic, and it worked. But every kid and every situation is different. I don't know if this kind of reasoning would work with a toddler. You know your kid, so you may be able to come up with a appropriate plan.

I've heard professionals (yes, professionals) advice trying "monster spray" before bed. You, or even better your kid, sprays the room with a water bottle before bed that keeps the monsters away. So to the person that said professionals never suggest this, I disagree. But it doesn't mean it's the best solution for every kid. For example, here is a short article by a family counselor on BabyCenter discussing monster spray, saying that it works great for some kids, but with others it can backfire: www.babycenter.com...

Now... for the paranormal aspect of this. I have no idea. I do believe children can see/sense/remember (pre-birth) things that adults cannot. In all probability, this is just a case of a normal kids with a healthy imagination seeing things in the dark. Very common, very normal. However, I do believe there is a small chance that there is more to it.

Do you have any reason to believe the house may be haunted? Have any loved ones passed on recently, maybe just before your son was born even? If you really want to get crazy with it, keep your camera by your bed. Next time it happens, snap a picture where the kid is pointing.

Good luck! I hope this was just a isolated occurrence and you and your son can sleep well.

Originally posted by VegHead

Of course, with kids nothing is ever as easy - right? That's what always cracks me up about 80% of parenting advice - it assumes things actually work. Kids are not that simple.

Exactly! And what works for one kid won't necessarily work for the next one. In my case, my kids needed to know I was there for them, always, unconditionally.

Night lights always worked for me, and i was a VERY superstitious boy. I was also easily scared. But when I got a lava lamp all me fears stopped, I still sleep with it today! His imagination is on the run! He'll grow out of it.

reply to post by CJCrawley


Don't let your kid sleep with you? It is more unhealthy when your kid only gets a couple hours of sleep because of some imaginary night time terror. When a child imagines something scary, it is scary. A child's imagination can play with the child in VERY SCARY ways. I know from experience...