Helpful suggestions for dealing with an apparent night time visitor to my little boy

When my son was three, he used to call out to me and I'd get out of bed and come see what was the matter. He was scared -- not crying -- but very scared -- saying the shadow man on the wall was pointing at him. The first time it happened, I remember telling him it was probably shadows from the trees outside onto his wall.

I was a bit unnerved, because it kept happening, and clearly there were no shadows from trees on any of the walls. We did have "ghostly" sounds in the hall, as if someone were walking down the hall in slippers. I often felt as if I were not alone in the house, but my husband and I would nervously laugh about the "ghost" to our selves (not in front of the kids) - thinking it was the old lady who used to live in the house.

My son is now 20 (well adjusted despite a lot of difficult times) and til this day brings up the fact that he went through sheer torture on many nights because of the shadowy figure, always beckoning to him with long, bony fingers. The torture was that I did not believe him and would re-tuck him in, and leave him there.

Since that time, so many unexplained things happened in that house, and seemed to have followed us to our new home. I've had Maryann Winkowski, the ghost whisperer, out to both homes...which seemed to alleviate things for a time. I've saged until I thought my lungs would burst.

So, my advice, as a mom and one who didn't want to believe, look into cleansing your home. I don't think it's wise to let a child see your fear of the "dark" things--or to arm them with magic swords and spells (that will make it even more "real" -- even if it is real. After many years, I've come to learn that it best to not be afraid, not let your kids see you be afraid, be assertive about your space and rights, and let kids dive into your bed if they need to. That age is pretty young to be questioning a child the next day. Best to watch, observe, see what else might be happening (or not) during daylight hours and at night.

Our cats gave us clear signs when things were bad in the house. At its worst, my cats refused to come inside the house, and when they did, they slunk in, scared and nervous, hurried to the food bowl and kept looking up until they ran to the door to be let out. Our rabbit kicked its cage apart in sheer terror twice during the night, during the worst times. Pets can give you a clear sense of what your child might be sensing.

Best of luck. Glad you reached out to the community. It's not a normal PTA or Little League practice convo with other parents. Sometimes you just gotta reach to uncoventional places to get out of the box advice.

reply to post by Galadriel


Thank you Galadriel. I posted it here because of three things. 1.) You're right it's not a conversation one can readily bring up in just any company. 2.) Because of my own history with "odd" and unnatural occurences. 3.) I've been a member here since 07 long before my son was born and I have read threads of a similar vein so I knew there were other parents here who have shared this experience.

Originally posted by DerepentLEstranger
ROFL
not laughing at you OP, but at all the mincing around.
reply to post by w810i

 

Other then that I did notice the air was colder in that area.

that's a textbook indicator of a ghost

1st you need to ask your son if he knows who it is
[you wouldn't want to do an exorcism/banishing on the kids grandpa]
whether if the deceased is unknown to the child or not you need to explain to him
that ghosts and spirits can't harm him, unless he feeds them with fear
provide the child with a "ritual" this can be a special prayer or what have you tailored to your beliefs,
as of course we cant have the kid quoting from grimoires like the keys of solomon, etc.
and will serve him in good stead

have a spiritual worker [priest or medicine person] deal with the matter., as some ghosts will become even more problematic if you try yourself [and do a bad job of it]
the boy's ritual is for self-empowerment, do not lie to the child as he will subconsciously detect this [lying parents account for many of the psychological problems adults have] also do not tell him he is seeing things, as he is seeing something, just because similar strategies and LIES deprived you of the ability is no reason to poke the kids inner eye out.

edit on 30-12-2012 by DerepentLEstranger because: added comment

Incredible advice You forgot the part about not giving the child a Winchester Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun.....'cause you'll shoot your eye out kid!!!! LL

This parent is asking for some practical advice. It's obvious that his son needs a careful and sensitve approach.
I am a parent and I have had some similar experiences when one of my children have been frightened. What I did was to ask questions carefully, and then proceed delicately to disprove them. Now, if this does not stop and becomes even more serious, then perhaps professional help would be needed. But first, I would carefully ask questions, listen, then take careful actions to help and show your child that it is nothing to be afraid of. I hope this works for you and your son! Peace!!

Children are more acceptable to ghost and seeing their guides before the are conditioned.
You shouldn't dismiss this possibility.

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Originally posted by w810i

I think there is a highly likely chance he saw something. For him to do that is completely out of character for him.

Yes, you would have to think there was a highly likely chance that he saw something otherwise you'd have dismissed it like most parents and would not have made this thread.

I believe that he saw something, I and my older sister have seen things when we were children, although we didn't tell our parents and only told eachother about our coinciding stories when we became adults. My nephew saw something, he went into my room, told me he was scared, I asked him to show me what it was that scared him, he took me by the hand and led me to another room, he said there's the monster, and then he started backing away and grabbed my hand and told me to run, he definitely saw something. Try teaching your son how to pray. It may help him.

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Shamans and psychiatrists, aka quacks! If your "shaman" takes Visa, be cautious! And psychiatrists are good if you are looking for meds, I suppose.

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reply to post by w810i


Hi there! I had a similar experience with my son when he was around 2-3 years old. My son's great grandma used to adore playing with him and the family spent a lot of time together, then she was diagnosed with cancer and went downhill fast. We would go to visit her and my son would sit on the bed and play with her - the nurses thought it was wonderful that we brought him as so often when people get sick their families don't visit and the person can become very lonely. Anyway, the whole family was there a lot, spending time with her, we were a pretty lively crew.

A couple of days after she passed away, my son began carrying on quiet little conversations with the wall (at least that was all we could see). He would chatter and wave his hands around, just like a toddler does when talking to anybody, but too quietly for us to make out what he was saying. We asked who he was talking to and he said "Grandma B..." (her name). He continued to talk to the wall for months, usually a couple times a week, then gradually stopped. I never saw any reason to dissuade him from this. He wasn't afraid and she had loved him very much. We didn't comment to him on it, other than when we first asked, we just let it be what it was. In my son's case, this happened any time of day, not just at night.

I have my son tonight so we shall see if there is another occurrence this weekend.

reply to post by w810i

Let us know... Btw - if that is you and your son in your avatar pic, what a lovely and bright little family the two of you are!!!

Let us know - and when I said I'd be curious to see a video it wasn't meant to see if you were telling the truth or not but to see if something was actually going on and you capture it...best of luck

reply to post by jasonl1983


Shamans are simply medicine people in their tribes - aka doctors and healers. You should do your research before making a generalization like that. Psychiatrists are also valuable to those with mental illness.

Originally posted by gwynnhwyfar
reply to post by w810i

 

Let us know... Btw - if that is you and your son in your avatar pic, what a lovely and bright little family the two of you are!!!

Thank you! That is my son and I. I need to update my avatar though.

reply to post by w810i


Your son is adorable!!

I hope that he has been sleeping well lately. Please do keep us posted.

reply to post by VegHead


Thank you! He is a blast and I'm a very lucky father. So nothing to report from this weekend. He slept soundly thru the nights. Which is good. Hoping this was a one time thing.

reply to post by w810i


Interesting. Sometimes, kids simply have a really vivid bad dream, and they think something is there. i remember one I had as a child, under seven years old (I know that because my brother wasn't born yet). Dreamed about this nasty little statue that came to life in a movie. Felt, even after I woke up, that it was in MY house, chasing me. Got into bed and cuddled up against my mom (who didn't wake up), and stayed there staring till I finally fell back asleep. Of course, the thing wasn't there.

That said.....I won't dismiss this that quickly. When we were stationed in Germany, there was this one room in our place that was, well, weird. Weird on our floor (1'st), and the same room (identical floor plans) on the second and third floors was also 'weird". When we first moved in, I stuck my young son in there. He was barely two. The teen sister got the larger room. We ended up switching them, though, because he didn't want to sleep in there. She didn't like it, but she wasn't as bothered as he was. What you said about the corner reminded me of what he told us. What he said (at two, remember) was that there was a "man with a lion" in this one corner, near the ceiling. We never could get a better description. Even after switching the rooms, there were a few nights where he got what some would call "night terrors"; waking up screaming, very scared, and very hard to settle back down.

The best thing to do is take the child seriously, reassure them, make sure they know that you won't allow anything bad to stay in the house (and don't!), and let them stay with you (lights on, if needed) for that night. You pretty much did what was needed.

That place we had...we didn't know the other rooms (other floors0 were weird till later. The lady above us said she had hints of spooky stuff in the same room, and the one on the third floor apparently had such a bad experience she would not use the room anymore. Kind of creepy, the way it was always that same vertical space.

Originally posted by w810i

Originally posted by gwynnhwyfar
reply to post by w810i

 

Let us know... Btw - if that is you and your son in your avatar pic, what a lovely and bright little family the two of you are!!!

Thank you! That is my son and I. I need to update my avatar though.

Absolutely adoreable! It's easy to see you are a proud Papa.

Let us know what happens. He does look right around the same age as my son when he was talking to his Great Grandma in the wall. I think they can see more at that age and just don't usually mention it, or make a big deal of it, because why should they? It's part of their normal world, at least for a while.