Why do I attract.....

reply to post by jziegler

He wants me to move in with him and get married but I don't know if I should

If you even have to ask, the answer is of course, NO.

He wants it all, the freedom of being single and the security of a mate. What's in it for you? His PSTD and mother don't even factor into it...this is about YOU. You are obviously a caring and generous individual, and caring for these losers makes you feel good. These kinds of guys sense it of course, and take advantage of it. You are definitely attracting them...probably due to a lack of self-confidence.

Have you asked any girlfriends their advice? Often, they can give it to you more straight than you'll see yourself. I've been happily married now for 9 years, my only marriage, and to my soulmate. I know my wife relies on her gal pals often for advice so I'm hoping you have that same support, but if not, the only one stopping you is you.

I wish you the best of luck, but my honest advice is to steer clear of this guy, cast a bigger net, and try to find another fish in the sea. This guy won't be the controller type, but also, you won't be able to reign him in, and will have to settle for not being exclusive with him. (which could lead to other baby mamma drama, etc.). Do you even know he doesn't have kids with others? Who needs that kind of complication?

P.S. See you are now in a good relationship. Awesome.

That is what I am planning on doing. Working on myself and figuring out who and what I want in a relationship. My question to men is: Why do they feel the need to sleep with so many women? is it a power issue?

Men don't. Boys do. Men can commit to a relationship. Boys cannot. Has nothing to do with power.

reply to post by littled16


Thank you so much. Everyone around me have also commented on how happy I now look. They said I looked miserable before. Now I just focus on myself and if the guy doesn't like me for who I am then that's just too bad for them.

reply to post by Gazrok


He does have other children whom he doesn't talk to. I've walked away from him and moved on to figure myself out. I posted an update regarding this new guy that just happen to walk into my life. Interesting gentleman but this time around I'm going slow and focusing on myself and friends. He is ok with that and is willing to take it slow for me too. We'll see in due time I guess.

reply to post by jziegler


Congrats, and best of luck, from that followup, sounds like you found your nice guy, and a keeper.

reply to post by Gazrok


I hope so, he's more than what I can ask for. Thanks for all your opinions and help in this matter.

reply to post by jziegler


Your body is emotional addicted to the feeling you get in these relationship. Emotions are as addictive as drugs.

reply to post by jziegler


I understand that you are in a different place in your head than you were when you first opened this thread. I thought I would just chip in with a thought for you.

The fella you deserve is one who, since meeting you, cannot recognise female charms in any other woman but you, so awestruck is he by your presence. The fella you deserve wants to see you flourish, and accomplish everything you ever thought you could, and will encourage you to believe bigger, and better things about yourself than you ever thought possible before. He will stand by you, protect you, respect you, and will let you know by his actions, that short of a cometary impact directly on his head, theres nothing that can stop him from being your rock. He will appreciate the little things you will end up doing for him, and return them in kind.

That fella will enjoy conversing with you, sleeping next to you, eating dinner with you, and when you arent in the same place, he will be happy to know that you are out in the world, making it a brighter place, because he will believe (no matter wether you feel that he should) that the sun shines out of your eyesockets, and that you leave an invisible trail of magic behind you were ever you go.

Sounds ridiculous, but if he hasnt got all that going on, he probably isnt doing it right.

Hope you find one like that.