It's time my story needs to be heard

You said you felt like they were suprised you could notice them?

Kinda like they were looking at you but standing still...

reply to post by therovers


No problems, and no apology is necessary. You didn't strike me as a mindless skeptic, so no worries there. It's just so easy for people to "pick apart" my story with the sleep paralysis and narcolepsy explanation. But, it's the wrong conclusion to jump to. It's not like I was trying to hide my sleeping disorder or deny its effects. I announced it right up front to show people that I know what it is all about and that I know how to differentiate these unusual states of consciousness and the tricks they can play on our minds.

I still think that sleep paralysis does create a unique condition (Remember, everybody experiences sleep paralysis, it is totally inducible and abort-able at will [my personal belief]; narcoleptics just seem predisposed to the experience due to their pre-existing sleeping disorder) that allows us to perceive something that others cannot while in waking consciousness. Shamans across the planet have been doing it for thousands of years (observing other realms of consciousness not visible or accessible to the average Joe Six-Pack; not necessarily through sleep paralysis though.)

I could expound on what I believe this all to be..but that's just asking for more trouble. Besides, I'm still putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Anybody who thinks they know the full picture is lying! That's why I don't claim to know all the answers. I just have a few beliefs that I'm still "investigating" shall we say.

But, I am not convinced that it was just all a meaningless hallucination brought about by hysteria and a big Mexican dinner before bedtime and neither should anybody else be convinced of this.

Originally posted by KingAtlas
You said you felt like they were suprised you could notice them?

Kinda like they were looking at you but standing still...

Okay, I saw 3 distinct beings during my "encounters". I will give a detailed run-down of my impressions on all three as I watched them:

There were the Gray Men. I had seen these beings on at least 3-4 separate occasions. Each time, I barely caught a glimpse of them that lasted only mere seconds. I would wake up suddenly and be immediately, totally alert and aware of my surroundings. I wasn't groggy or half-asleep or anything. Just like totally stimulated and taking scope of my surroundings. One time, it was at the foot of my bed staring dead-on at me, another time it was in a turning-around motion and seemed to be walking away, and yet another time it was standing in the far corner of my room just kind of hunched over and looking in my general direction. Each time, they seemed to simply ignore me. They didn't have any reactions to me being awake and just went about their business (whatever that is supposed to be .) They did not care that I saw them. Rightly so, since each time after I got a sneak peek at them I instantly slipped into unconsciousness. What amazed me most is the total lack of sheer terror I felt while awake and looking at them. Maybe I just wasn't able to see them long enough to feel afraid? I don't know..fear seems like it would be one of the quickest emotions we feel (fight or flight and all.) But, I felt no fear.

Now, there is the Boxy Michelin Man. I saw this one on only a single occasion. I also awoke instantly as described above, and got a quick look at the thing. It was also in motion as if it was performing some task. It seemed kind of strange and comforting. My impression was "you've gotta be kidding me" as a reaction to how silly it looked. But, I felt like it was just doing its thing and meant no harm (just my own imagination, maybe.) It did not seem to react to me in any way. It had a grin on its face and its cartoonish eyes even blinked! But it still seemed to have only a visceral interest in me, not a personal one.

Then we get to the meat of the bone! The Hooded Entity (which was also a once-in-a-lifetime thing.) When I woke up and saw it, I immediately thought something along the lines of, "Okay, what is this?! I have to see if its real." This is when I sensed surprise from it. It's facial expression didn't really show a look of shock or surprise. Maybe there was a subtle change in its eyes that I seem to remember? But, it's a little hard to remember some of those finer details. Suffice to say, I mostly "felt" its surprise, rather than saw its reaction in the face. Almost as if I could feel what it felt. Then I had a thought like I wanted to get up and approach it. This is when I felt an impression like he was thinking "Okay, enough is enough" and then I slowly fell into unconsciousness while watching it the whole time until I blacked out a few split seconds later. So, yes, the Hooded Entity did give me a sense that it was shocked I could see it. How did it even know I could see it? Perhaps it knew what I was thinking!

Truth is, I don't really know. It was just a feeling that I had--an impression that I got. It did not have a significant change of facial expression to mark its supposed feeling of "surprise."

Hope this clarifies. Thanks for taking an interest and posting.

Hi NarcolepticBuddha. I've been following ATS for about 2 years, but your post made me create an account to comment on it. Like GLontra, since my childhood (around 7 years old) what I most feared were greys and alien abductions. My parents and other close people never believed in these stories nor showed any interest in this subject, yet every time I watched a film or TV show on abductions I couldn't sleep at night. But I don't remember ever seeing anything I could label "paranormal", but after I read your story and GLontra's comment, I started wondering if perhaps I had an encounter with greys when I was a child that, different from yours, was extremely scary for me, to the point that I made an effort to forget it. Or perhaps it was just an irrational and unexplained fear that child often have. Anyway, I also have to confess that, after I read your story, these fears partially came back - now I am a 35 years old man and I have a bit more of control over my fears; and yet, every night I think on the subject before going to sleep or if I awake in the middle of the night, and a few times I even had an intimidating feeling that I would see a grey, or remember if I had a previous encounter with one.
Anyway, have you ever read Aldous Huxley's essays "The Doors of Perception" and "Heaven and Hell"? I think you would agree with his basic thesis, that our conscious mind is a kind of filter that selects only the "useful" information, that is, those which are necessary for our material life. But some things (some drugs, meditation, dreams, fasting, etc) may stop, at least temporarily, this "filter", and we have access to other realities. Like I said, I've never had a so-called "paranormal" experience (or at least I don't remember), but Huxley's ideas fit perfectly with the descriptions I see from people who had genuine experiences, like yours.
If you can, I would be very interested to know about your theory that tries to explain your experiences, as you mentioned recently, even though it may be incomplete.
Best regards.

reply to post by Romanov


First of all, I am so pleased you signed up with ATS. Please let me know if you need help navigating the website at all.

We must ask ourselves the hardest question of all: Why—why are some of us so absurdly afraid of these unseen, unknown ‘aliens’ or ‘grays’; why do we feel so vulnerable to something we’ve never actually seen? Why do we feel at their mercy?

We can ask, but we seldom come up with an answer. Many have told me, “That’s what fear is, an irrational phobia.”

I tend to disagree when people tell me that it is an imagined fear and meant to be ignored. After all, fear is key to nearly every creature’s survival. It is fear that alerts us to potential danger for our well-being. Many times fear is indeed irrational, but it can also be a tool of self-preservation.

There is a fable of a man who is walking through an alleyway in the dark. He spots a coiled up bundle in his path and freezes with terror as he struggles to see it in the dark. He imagines that it is a deadly cobra ready to strike. His hearts pounds and sweat rolls down his neck. The man has options: he can step back slowly and turn around, he can stand frozen in terror at the mercy of his imagination, or he can walk forward to get a better look. Now, if the man walks forward, he may find that the coiled mass is indeed a venomous snake, or he may find that it is simply a length of wound up rope.

Then there is the man who imagines at first that the coiled mass is a harmless rope and walks past only to be savagely bitten on the ankle by a lethal reptile.

My point is—the fear always comes from within ourselves. But it is often there for a reason (it could be a snake). Furthermore, that reason may even be unjustified in many cases (but, it’s really a rope.) Unfortunately, we are not always equipped to know exactly what we’re looking at through the shadows of dark alleyways.

What bugs me is this: why is this fear so deeply rooted in me (and, apparently others) that we still sometimes wonder before we go to sleep, “Am I alone? Am I safe or vulnerable?” I cannot answer this either. Again, some jump back to the irrational phobia and suggest psychological therapy. Others may cite evolutionary precedence (primates are always vulnerable while sleeping.) It's more likely that people will just call me "crazy" and dismiss the whole notion altogether; what I like to call the coward's way out.

So, you ask me what is the nature of these sightings I had? I really can’t tell you if it was a rope or a cobra, because I simply do not know. I do not think these encounters were simply dreams or hallucinations as so many say. No one can tell ME what they think I experienced without having experienced it themselves. That’s ridiculous.

I have not read the books you mentioned, but I believe the same as what you described. I believe there are unseen realms of consciousness that we as human beings are not fully equipped to perceive or experience. Essentially, we are in that dark alleyway without a flashlight and snake repellant. Only through special means can we see in the dark. That is to say, altered states of consciousness attained through meditation etc. (I do not advocate hallucinogenic, mind-altering substances at all; to know what’s inside you, you already have the tools necessary to discover.)

I do believe that special conditions were created in which I was able to see through the damask, if you will. I still sense a presence sometimes. I do still hold a fear that something watches me while I sleep. It is not every night; only at certain times. It does not seem to be correlated to anything I’ve noticed—just sometimes, yes, and sometimes, no. Don’t worry folks, I’ve felt the good presences as well and I feel them often.

Now, I have considered that it could be angels, demons (snakes and ropes, right?), hallucination, insanity etc. etc. All of these things have been proposed to me as explanations as well. I dismiss insanity and psychosis outright. It does not fit AT ALL, nor did it fit at that time in my life. There is really no evidence to tell me whether these sightings were benevolent or malevolent—Hell, I’ve even asked supposed “channelers” here on ATS to tell me what it is that I saw. Any such luck? Nope!

No one seems to be able to tell me what it is all about. It was a subjective experience in the middle of a seemingly objective world. Only a subjective answer may be attainable. It’s up to me and others to explain our own subjective experiences. But we must do so with observation and empiricism, not with faith alone.

[continued below...]

[continued, from above..]

I do think that the Hooded Entity was a catalyst of sorts. It got me wondering for 10 years. It got me digging and searching outside and within myself. It jumpstarted me on the path to know myself. I also began the transformation from ‘teenager hellion’ to a straight-arrow, honest and respectable citizen. I honestly believe the Hooded Entity was something like a slap of reality. “Get back to where you once belonged” And, well, I did.

I cannot answer for my other sightings. I believe that while we see through the veil, there are many bizarre and strange things going on. Just read any account of shamans in the trance-world. They often describe very surreal and bizarre entities, but they are usually not harmful. We are often afraid of what we don’t understand and it can often appear ugly if we are unfamiliar, and ugliness usually means that it’s dangerous in our conditioned minds.

I’m sorry, but the only answer I have to give is that: there are many things going on inside of us and outside of us that we’re in the dark about. The physical reality around us can only be perceived through the human senses and technological instruments, and both can be woefully inadequate at times. I do believe that there is a lot going on backstage that we are unaware of though. I’m sorry for the disappointing answer, but that’s all I have. Remember, I’m still looking for the answers myself—my investigation is still ongoing. I still have many decades to figure this out!

Thanks for taking an interest in this thread. You have also revived my interest in it as well! I would like to share a few sleep paralysis experiences I’ve had recently for you or anyone interested! Now, those who have been following this thread know that I think sleep paralysis is a special condition that *sometimes* allows us to see through the partitions. Admittedly, sleep paralysis is sometimes just mental chatter likened to the dream state, but sometimes I believe it is a genuine glimpse of something beyond physical, waking consciousness. What determines which is which? I believe, fear. A high amount of fear seems to muddle the sleep paralysis experience, while a calm state of mind seems to open up other avenues.

Last week I had an experience while sleeping wherein I appeared to wake up suddenly and could see my body on the bed writhing and twisting while the Hooded Entity stood above my head (I sleep with my feet against the headboard and my head at the foot of the bed.) It only lasted a few moments but my body seemed to be in a state of terror. But, this only felt like a dream or possibly sleep paralysis. It was only a flashing image, but it was definitely strange as I very RARELY see these entities during dreams. Okay, I don’t believe that was anything more than a dream. No big deal, right? Just a nightmare, I think.

But then a few days ago I got sucked into the sleep paralysis state (I usually sleep on my side to avoid it, but I often turn onto my back during sleeping, which is almost a guarantee that I will experience sleep paralysis.) I couldn’t see anything, but I felt the inevitable presences around me. One of “them” walked over to my abdomen and pointed down and pressed its finger against my stomach. I want to say that the finger resembled that of the Gray Man, but I can’t say that with any confidence or accuracy. I just seem to remember seeing a strange wrist and finger. It pointed and kind of pressed down on my scar.

Now, what is this scar? What’s so important about my abdomen? Those who have followed most of the thread know that I had a grapefruit-sized tumor there. I now have a 14 inch scar straight up and down my abdomen. To be honest, this sleep paralysis experience was a bit unnerving. Ordinarily, they don’t bother me much, even if they are undesirable. But, for something to point down at my scar kind of bothers me!—even if it was just a sleep paralysis dream.

Frankly, I am starting to wonder again what the connection between those sightings and my cancer diagnosis might be.

At one time, probably a year or two ago—I asked, “Why do you do this to me?” while in the sleep paralysis state, talking to those ‘presences’ (I couldn't see the source of the voice--if anything WAS there, it was out of my view). I heard a voice almost female and angelic answer, “We are preparing your body.” For what?! I don’t know. Whenever I ask questions, I only get vague and undecipherable answers. I did ask once, “Are you God?” and it kind of retorted with a bit of humor in its voice, “No, we’re not God?” It wasn’t a mocking tone, but the kind of tone you might answer a child who is attempting to learn something but hasn’t quite grasped the concept; one of humility. All I know is that maybe I should be asking more questions!

[out of text space again? very well!..concluded below...]

[concluded here...]

However, I did manage to get into the floating state during the scar experience as I kept as calm as possible. I let out the feeling “I really miss you, grandpa.” My grandfather died in March of this year. I felt a tight squeeze around my whole body that felt a little unsettling, yet comforting at the same time—kind of like being hugged too tightly. And a voice (that appeared slightly masculine, but not his that I was familiar with) said, “I will always be with you and watching.”

I know there are certain members whose names I won’t mention that would just love to come in here and give me a good tongue-lashing over these experiences! But, as I said, I believe there is some stuff going on that we can’t experience in normal, waking consciousness. Altered states of consciousness open up these doors to mystical experience. Good luck finding a technological gadget that can measure these subjective experiences, but I believe they are no less real and valid.

Here’s a hint, how many of the skeptics have actually TRIED meditating for a prolonged period of time?—hours, weeks, months? If meditation is not your thing, have you prayed for any answers? How genuine is your search? I admit, I used to think it was silly to see someone on TV or someone talk about meditating going “OMMMM.” That is, I thought it was silly until I researched it and tried it myself. It’s so much easier to doubt when you don’t even try. The pitfall is that trying without honesty and determination often meets with failure. The key is well hidden, but it is there for those who are determined to find it. Patience is also necessary. This is really one of those cases that requires you to try, try again. How many people actually keep trying through repeated failures? Not many, but the prize is definitely there for those who are willing to search for it.

Thanks for posting, and please remember that I am not an ET abductee/contactee. I do not pretend to have the answers or claim to have a life-changing message for anybody. My experiences simply lead me to believe that there is more going on than meets the eye—and that the answer lies in altered states of consciousness that we do not ordinarily experience. Please, read any good book on shamanism or mysticism to learn the basics. Above all, just have a good time but go slowly down that rabbit hole!

[phew! ]

reply to post by NarcolepticBuddha


WOW! What a wonderful read that reply was. I always enjoy reading your posts/replies. They are so informative, and well written.
(Now, if only I could put things into words the way you do, I would be able to achieve my dream of writing books for a living.)

I'm so happy to see people still taking an interest in this thread.

reply to post by sled735


You can write books, but it's never guaranteed that anybody will make a living that way Write because you like to write. That seems to be the key to success right there.

I don't like to write. That's why I'll never make a living doing it, no matter how talented I may become. Write because you like to write. That's the first step.

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha
I’m sorry, but the only answer I have to give is that: there are many things going on inside of us and outside of us that we’re in the dark about. The physical reality around us can only be perceived through the human senses and technological instruments, and both can be woefully inadequate at times. I do believe that there is a lot going on backstage that we are unaware of though. I’m sorry for the disappointing answer, but that’s all I have. Remember, I’m still looking for the answers myself—my investigation is still ongoing. I still have many decades to figure this out!

This is one of the reasons why I think you are authentic, you don't pretend to have all the answers. Thanks for your very clarifying, interesting and detailed reply.

This is one of the reasons why I think you are authentic, you don't pretend to have all the answers. Thanks for your very clarifying, interesting and detailed reply.

Thanks for your vote of confidence. Personally, a lot of the time I just have to stand beside myself and make sure I'm not losing my head. So much of what I have been through--whether the 2-3 years I lived as a pediatric cancer patient, or the paranormal sightings, or the sleep paralysis/ astral travel experiences, or even the mysticism of my meditation which I have been doing since I was 16--is bewildering to say the least!

It all feels so natural until I stop to think about it and write it down in microsoft word or ATS. Then I realize how absurd and fantastical it all sounds. And really, it's scary in a way haha! I have to often take an appraisal of everything just to make sure I'm not becoming delusional. Thankfully, this self-diagnosis has always kept my head screwed tight on my shoulders. It is tough reconciling some of the bizarre things I've been through while remembering that there is still a 'normal' and functional life to be had in society.

I used your quote from above because one of my psychology professors said something similar to his classes. He said something to the effect that "If you're ever considering seeing a professional therapist, ask them if they've finalized their theory or if they're still trying to figure things out." He said that if they're 100% sure of their theory, find someone who is still trying to figure things out and open to other methods. I think that was one of the smartest things I've ever heard anybody say. And it seems to apply to all aspects of seeking guidance. I truly believe that anybody who claims to know 100% of the answers is a liar by default.

Please feel free to share anything you think is relevant or ask any other questions that I haven't addressed. Also, I am always curious to get anybody else's ideas on my experience as well. It was my experience, but I must also draw on the collective experience of others as well. If you have any insight or feelings on the subject, please share!

thank you for sharing your story with us , I know it can be intimidating

I am very intrigued. I also wondered , and forgive me if you've been asked this and I missed it , do you think any of these entities had anything to do with your cancer?

i'm glad you made it , you've been through quite a lot , you're brave and a wonderful example for all.

Okay, so now that my attention has momentarily been recalled to this thread, there is something I'd like to update for anybody who gives a hoot

Recently, I got in contact with a cancer buddy of mine who was going through treatments at the same time I was. We both were treated in a children's hospital in another state from where we live. We met there in the hospital and found out that we actually only live mere blocks away from each other! He and I even went to the same high school together--a few years apart, though.

There was also another chap in the hospital undergoing treatments at the same time who went to the same high school as us (who, very sadly, did not make it in the end.) [For anybody familiar with my threads, I have found his gravestone, totally by accident, in the same cemetery as the 'Flower Girl'. But that's another story!] The three of us would have been going to the same high school together and might never even have met or become friends; the illness is what brought us together.

So, we had a brief email correspondence recently. The walls were already down and the ice broken. We weren't actually more than familiar acquaintances at the hospital. But we jumped right into it asking each other, "How has this changed your life?"

We both found out that we had taken strangely similar paths! We were both arrogant jerks who had undergone a transformation. We had both found God. We had both started, almost spontaneously, studying mystical teachings from all world religions as well as the mystical and shamanistic traditions. We both pray, we both meditate. We both seem to have found some great secret and power within ourselves.

It truly is uncanny how much we have in common and how dramatically we both have changed through this experience. Our conversations really boiled down to, "So, have you read this book? Are you familiar with this teaching? Have you experienced this?" And it was amazing how little we could actually teach each other! We had both gone down this path simultaneously, and yet, removed from each other.

At this point, I am unsure if we will actually meet and continue our conversations. Neither of us really talked about doing so (even though he still lives in town not far from me.)

So, if the opportunity arises, I will ask him about the sightings as well. I wonder if he saw a similar sighting that got him digging and searching like it did for me. At this point, we're just beginning to get in touch again. I suppose I could always email him and ask bluntly, "Did you ever see anything unusual, unexplainable, or paranormal?"

I am worried that such a question might damage any chance of us becoming good friends though. Remember, sharing this aspect of my life has already damaged, irreparably, so many relationships and friendships for me.

What do you guys think? [Sled735, I am asking you too! I know I already mentioned my buddy to you in U2U]

Originally posted by ujustneverknow

I also wondered , and forgive me if you've been asked this and I missed it , do you think any of these entities had anything to do with your cancer?

It has been asked and addressed a couple of times. No worries because 30 pages is A LOT to sift through to find specific answers. Luckily, I have posted a 3-post series up above on this very page (in fact, all my posts on this page serve as a great crash course for people who haven't read the entire thread) as an update of sorts to the OP. It includes my answers to some of the most common questions I've been asked and some added insight into things. I also delve a bit more into some of the subsequent sleep paralysis experiences I've had.

In the above posts of this page, you'll also find that I'm starting to reconsider my position on the cancer and connectedness to the paranormal sightings. Throughout the thread, I have had the steadfast belief that the Entities were not directly related to the cancer. After a sleep paralysis episode I've recently had (described above,) I have begun to wonder if the Entities played a bigger role than I thought. I still don't know in what manner they were related though.

So far, I really don't know. I wish I did, believe me!

In fact, after reading the new posts this morning I went out for some coffee and light breakfast to think over the posts and how to respond. I picked up one of my books on shamanism to refresh myself. I figure since I've been encouraging others to read them, that I better at least refresh myself on what I'm talking about haha

In the shamanistic view, those who experience extreme illness and disease in the 'ordinary consciousness' are either being attacked in the 'shamanic state consciousness' or have been somewhat abandoned by their guides (through one's own negative habits, behaviors, actions, and thoughts.)

Although, there are many such non-scientific theories on the nature of extreme disease. I have received answers from all different sources. Some say that the Entities were trying to harm me; others say that they were my guides.

I am still inclined to think that the Entities had no direct influence over my illness--but really, how can I even know? I have no basis to form a supported answer. Just putting the two of them together in the same room doesn't convince me that they were responsible for causing it. I wonder if they might have been attracted to it? I wonder if the Hooded Entity watched me from the doorway knowing I was literally only weeks away from death. They may have been attracted to it in some way, but not necessarily responsible.

You see, the speculation is endless! But, unfortunately, that's all it is right now--speculation.

Thanks for your post and interest in the thread.

The fact that you developed a prominent scar/rash in the area the entity pointed at is incredible, any photos of it so we can analyze?

Originally posted by therovers
The fact that you developed a prominent scar/rash in the area the entity pointed at is incredible, any photos of it so we can analyze?

Oh, no...to clarify...The scar is a surgical scar from when the tumor was removed back in 2003-ish. Nothing unusual about this scar. And trust me, nobody really wants to see photos of this scar! I did ask the surgeon to take photos of the 14-hour operation and she did! She was present for the entire operation and said it was the longest and most challenging operation of her career. But still, the photos are going to remain in the photo album. I just wanted to give the surgeon another congratulations for her incredible feat!

The sleep paralysis dream I mentioned actually happened very recently (not even more than a week ago) where some unseen 'being' pointed at the scar and even seemed to apply a bit of pressure with its index digit. I did see the arm and fingers but everything else was out of view. You can't exactly shift your eyes during sleep paralysis. I can't anyway! The eyes are just open and they see what they see.

The scar didn't "develop" as a result of the sleep paralysis episode. The scar has been there since the surgery (obviously.) There is nothing unusual about the scar after the sleep episode either. It was just highly unsettling that anything (even in the scope of a dream/hallucination) would press down on my abdomen in this way.

Sorry for the confusion.

Apologizes, misread your post Fascinating reading non the less

Alright, folks. I feel that the investigation is important enough to risk giving someone the heebie-jeebies. It is a risk I'm willing to take. I have sent an email to my cancer survivor buddy asking if he has ever seen anything unusual, unexplainable, or perhaps paranormal in his lifetime.

I tried my best not to lead him in any particular line of answers with my wording. But, perhaps using the word "paranormal" did just that. Hopefully any answers I receive won't be tainted by my poor word choice.

I am anxiously awaiting to see what he has to say about it and will share with this thread if there's anything of note

Originally posted by NarcolepticBuddha

I am worried that such a question might damage any chance of us becoming good friends though. Remember, sharing this aspect of my life has already damaged, irreparably, so many relationships and friendships for me.

What do you guys think? [Sled735, I am asking you too! I know I already mentioned my buddy to you in U2U]

edit on 2-9-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)

I appreciate your confidence in my opinion.

Well, since you already sent the e-mail, my answer is no longer needed. But, if you're curious for my answer, I would have said to ask him.
I would assume if your association with this person is indeed meant to progress, the question will have no bearing on your future friendship.

I'm anxious to learn if he has had any paranormal experiences. Keep us posted on this, please.

reply to post by sled735


I know--sorry, Sled. I decided to send it no matter how he might respond to it. The guy is on cloud 9...heck, he's on cloud 9000 really...right now. So, I don't think the notion of making a new friend has even occurred to him. So, hopefully he'll just give me an honest answer.

I don't blame him though. The thought of making friends with me is never an exciting prospect for many people haha!

He is a young man with friends and a romance. He has a good job and spends time volunteering. He has every reason to be very happy right now and I'm ecstatic for him. I don't want to slow him down!