What causes emotional suffering?

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by satron

 

And who is it that can meet those needs? What is an 'emotional need'?
Do people expect those needs to be met and by who?

edit on 10-6-2012 by Itisnowagain because: (no reason given)

When you've reached a point where you're basically stable within society. That is a rough way I'd look at it. What are emotions? Happiness, sadness, angry, hatred, fear, grief, pain, pleasure, etc.

They are the things that will give androids the toughest time passing the Turing Test.

If you're hungry and you eat, how do you know when you are full?

reply to post by satron


I will be happy when.........but i cannot be happy until.
Who is it that can satisfy you when there appears to be emotional suffering?

It is my believe that WE cause our own emotional sufferings. Especially when it comes from a broken heart (either divorced, past away, etc) the mind and heart does not want to leave the past in the past and we repeatedly bring the past to our present or future, thereby inheriting the suffering that comes with it.

Some are easy to deal with it because they have learned that thinking or living in the past will just bring chaos and suffering and as a result just move on!

Some fear that what they had with this particular partner will not get with someone else and as a result they dig deep within the wounds of a broken heart.

Things happen for a reason, it doesn't matter if a couple looks like they are the happiest couple in the universe and unexpectedly they break up one day.

My suggestion to your friends, especially the ones having a hard time dealing with their break ups, is to do self-reassurance every day upon waking up and going to bed. Tell them to tell themselves that "This happened for a better and brighter future and there is someone out there who loves them and who are also hoping to cross paths with them"

Look forward, not backwards, take one step at a time and don't rush things in order to deal with problems in that suffering moment (also known as making mistakes)

Hope that was helpful!

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by satron

 

I will be happy when.........but i cannot be happy until.
Who is it that can satisfy you when there appears to be emotional suffering?

edit on 10-6-2012 by Itisnowagain because: (no reason given)

"I will be happy when.....but I cannot be happy until."

I take it this is supposed to be a generic-stereotypical statement people make when describing how they feel.

Most of them that say that don't even know what they are talking about, and when they reach the goal, it wasn't what they envisioned, and so they trudge on to a different thing that will make them "happy".

Think about this. If everyone became happy from the first thing that made them that way, then we'd all be playing with our childhood rattles and snuggling with our teddy bears.

We cannot be made happy so easily. Some people may not find happiness, but that's not to say they didn't find the extreme opposite that everyone wants to stay away from, which is depression.

People desire to have their "emotional needs" because it broadens their horizons. Successful people tend to have their emotional needs met, especially those that put a lot of effort into their selves. It's very rewarding and can make you feel on top of the world.

Originally posted by satron
"I will be happy when.....but I cannot be happy until."

Or as I like to put it, "The lack of something causes its pursuit."

Most of them that say that don't even know what they are talking about, and when they reach the goal, it wasn't what they envisioned, and so they trudge on to a different thing that will make them "happy".

Think about this. If everyone became happy from the first thing that made them that way, then we'd all be playing with our childhood rattles and snuggling with our teddy bears.

Yep you nailed it. Without lack there's nothing to direct our attention towards attaining. How boring would that be? When we tie our happiness around what we lack, we can never be happy because lack is a moving target.

So are we playing the "profound game" now?

How about this....

"Fear of losing what you never really had in the first place."

reply to post by satron


it is the evil ways to reason in terms of opposites, meaning to b by killing what exist really so to claim being the only one all existing fact right, the only way to profit from existence effects

who mean to profit from existence would perceive it as an effect in order to stay out judging what is nice or not to get to pretend n possess
while what perceive existence as a fact act as existing themselves, so all their claims about anything is always relative to positive objectives, then they cant reason in terms of opposites

that is how u can sense that the statement, suffer is from meaning happiness, is false
what is not happy is never suffering while meaning as a may b more positive state

suffering is denoting a problem being an absolute else fact that could b pointed as the reason of total impotent situation of being standard, so suffering reason is the existence of else fact but also the nonexistence state of oneself right

Originally posted by UltimateSkeptic1
I was having a conversation today with a friend about her divorce. She has been emotionally suffering for 8 months now over this.

I also have another friend who was divorced 2 months ago under very similar circumstances. And yet she was only sad for a couple of days, at most, then got on with her life and is generally happy.

I also have rich friends who are very happy, and rich friends who are very depressed.

So how is it when external circumstances are similar, one person can be happy, and another suffer?

What causes emotional suffering?

It seems to me that if we can figure this out, and teach how to be happy instead of suffer, the entire world can evolve into something much greater than what we have today.

Has to be the circumstances. I was in a 16 year nightmare marriage. I can't tell you how relieved (positively euphoric) I was when it ended. Honestly, the only sadness I felt was that her new man was about to enter the twilight zone. Poor guy.

Without going into too much detail, they have been together over 20 years, have a son in a Texas prison for some terrorist act, and found their daughter dead in a closet. She had hung herself. It makes me very sad to think that if I had stayed with her, these kids might not have been born, but they wouldn't have been so mentally tortured either.

reply to post by satron


It is the belief in lack that causes the unhappiness.
There is nothing lacking but that is not understood by the human mind, in fact it caused by the mind.
The mind believes there is more than this, it imagines more and then it says 'why can't it be like that?' That is not, this Is. The mind produces images of 'what is not' and does not want 'what is'.
The mind is delusional.

reply to post by jiggerj


how can u share 16 years with someone u cant respect as urself, make ur expressions about anything empty of truth

Attachment causes emotional suffering, letting go gets rid of it. If we weren't attached in the first place, we would not be emotionally suffering. Uncondition your self to get unattach to everything and your problems will cease to exist.

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


In the examples you offer I would think that the difference in how your two friends view their repective divorces is that one probably takes more of the blame for the failure of the marriage than the other one does.
Neither is happy about a failed marriage lets be clear about that but the one is handeling it better probably because she feels less responsible for the failure or she was less emotionally invested in the relationship in the first place.

Originally posted by absolutely
reply to post by jiggerj

 

how can u share 16 years with someone u cant respect as urself, make ur expressions about anything empty of truth

At the time the courts were (and still are) prone to giving custody of children to the mothers. I was NOT going to let that happen. I had to stay and protect my daughter, and I do not regret it. 20 years later and we are the BEST of friends. My daughter tried connecting with her mother after she was 18, but the mother was just too mentally abusive.

reply to post by jiggerj


it is not my business sorry for my reaction while i dont regret it bc i know what i mean inn for truth

it is a fact that everyone mean to profit from existence instead of existing, that is why everyone expect that all is one right, while it is impossible, right cant b but relative fact since there is always smthg right to consider positively existing

it reveals kind of god minds, judgin everything wrong for never willing to point smthg right
if god or any powerful present existing one stand, meant smthg being right everyone wont look being all wrong while things would b easily perceived being free facts of being relative rights

meaning to profit from everything existence is like willing that everything would b wrong always so race for truth oppositions, truth tht mean existence rights

one cant profit from smthg value, it must then recognize its existence as else while only if the thing is looking negative that one could mean its own superior justification to pretend existing instead

so the belief that one big living is all living things is surely false, what is wrong cant b all only what is right can b one freedom fact

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


For me emotional suffering comes from the psychological belief that you have lost something. The greatset feeling of love you will ever feel is your first true love when the emotions are new to you and the experience is enlightening. You then spend you whole life trying to recreate these feelings and emotions. Which draws you to those that spark similar emotions or experiences that make you feel similar.

So Emotional suffering comes from the realisation that what you thought you had, did,nt turn out to be what you expected or hoped it would be. Then Psychology does the rest. If your not aware that this is the case you can convince yourself that its something else. So your the creator of your own emotional misery, although you always try to find a different excuse. As in it was the other persons fault.

reply to post by EncompassAll


depression is the opposite to suffer, so u prove the insensitive u r to suffering fact in the world while never in suffer urself

suffer is the struggle for living right that exist while forced to accept the will rejection as constant fact
suffer is the dynamic positive sense in constant strike terms down
suffer is the objective conception of negative superiority to positive sense

depression is the opposite to suffer

depression is the rejection of being, in absence of will the acceptance of negative superiority upon all and oneself

Originally posted by absolutely
reply to post by EncompassAll

 

depression is the opposite to suffer, so u prove the insensitive u r to suffering fact in the world while never in suffer urself

suffer is the struggle for living right that exist while forced to accept the will rejection as constant fact
suffer is the dynamic positive sense in constant strike terms down
suffer is the objective conception of negative superiority to positive sense

depression is the opposite to suffer

depression is the rejection of being, in absence of will the acceptance of negative superiority upon all and oneself

Who mentioned depression?

Can you please use full words as i find it hard to understand what your saying.

reply to post by absolutely


moron hypocrisy, the sense of loosing urself end is cause of depression not suffer
suffer is constant present living fact, deception is cause of death

desire and want for that which one cannot have or is failing to obtain.

content, satisfaction. these are foreign words to most humans.

que sera, sera

words i live by