What causes emotional suffering?

I was having a conversation today with a friend about her divorce. She has been emotionally suffering for 8 months now over this.

I also have another friend who was divorced 2 months ago under very similar circumstances. And yet she was only sad for a couple of days, at most, then got on with her life and is generally happy.

I also have rich friends who are very happy, and rich friends who are very depressed.

So how is it when external circumstances are similar, one person can be happy, and another suffer?

What causes emotional suffering?

It seems to me that if we can figure this out, and teach how to be happy instead of suffer, the entire world can evolve into something much greater than what we have today.

the answer to suffering and removing it lies in mystical christianity,sufi islam and buddhism.

some people pay for a good whipping
some people get paid


I guess its all in one's point of view
the glass is half full - joy
the class is half MT - suffering

there is a line in the new alien movie ( Promethous) where the android is watching Peter O Toole act in an old movie....(the android resembles and tries tio imitate Otoole somewhat...an actor acting emotively)
O'Tooles line is to someone who is trying to do something O'Tools character can do, and they can't..(yet)
because of the discomfort involved....:
( like the android watching O"toole and trying to learn emotion)
" the trick is to not mind the pain"

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


It is expectation and the fear of not getting what you want that causes human emotional suffering.

I believe it is the internal creation as a means to "learn" and "grow"; if we refuse to accept the changes, the beginnings of a world we feel we have lost control over, then certainly the emotional strife kicks in. Most will wallow for a bit before deciding that life is more worthy with happiness and peace, joy and laughter, but the stubborness of man to open to our hidden selves can set us into "stone".

We have to be very careful, throughout our lives, that we do not become old and bitter! It should be a declaration of Spirit to live vicariously in Love and Joy, Happiness and Peace! Instead we wallow in the mire for the most part!

Your friend needs to wake up!

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


objectively emotionnal suffering is due to the perspective of lacking to have its ownd rights, when for instance others conditions are clearly better then oneself conscious

subjectively emotional suffering is due to the state of lacking being a plus sense, so wether the knowledge that no else is exclusively meaning u to sense being more then only u, or the knowledge that u cant do anything more then what it is

this fact is bc of truth, existence is about truth absolute fact stating any in individual constant free superior positive terms

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1

 

It is expectation and the fear of not getting what you want that causes human emotional suffering.

Where expectation is something which is learned from one's parents or anyone who one looks up to as a child.

I also believe there are 3 kinds of mindset out there; people who can 'entertain' themselves in their minds and don't need nobody for creating their own happiness, they don't even let anybody touch their own happiness.

There are those who cannot and depend upon others to make them feel good or bad. And there are those who cannot control their own minds without those people depending on others to make them feel good or bad. They play into anothers' expectations and can satisfy them in a way it makes it all feel good or right, on the surface they appear to be of strong will but without being able to exert their will in anothers' mind of emotional life they are usually nothing. Kind of like there is no good without bad, no light without darkness, compared to weak individuals they hook up with they always appear strong.

Not having your emotional needs met.

reply to post by satron


And who is it that can meet those needs? What is an 'emotional need'?
Do people expect those needs to be met and by who?

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


Much emotional suffering is caused by brain chemistry being all wonky from a bad diet, ugly drugs and sloth. Combine that with personal trauma and you got a nasty situation.

Voice of experience here....

Originally posted by olaru12
reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1

 

Much emotional suffering is caused by brain chemistry being all wonky from a bad diet, ugly drugs and sloth.

Voice of experience here....

The emotional suffering was already there, the rest are just symptoms.

reply to post by Dragonfly79


it is ok to mean else before self, bc truth cant b relative fact since objective is always in absolute terms, so it is normal to expect when truth is not yet existence reason
in negative truth justifications way, since truth is not absolute fact, then noone should b true unless the absolutely true

the problem is what mean being positive bc truth do not exist, so enjoy the fact knowledge that it is ok to b objectively in much better shape then othres shapes

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1
Emotional suffering is part of life, to deny it is not to live fully. In short, this friend of yours has a unique life, with unique challenges and unique lessons she must learn, its all part of her life. To every life a little rain must fall. But basically, the pain is caused by a need that is not being fulfilled.

We are not all carbon copies of one life, and that is what makes life interesting and worth living. Her sadness is someone else s challenge. Its simple really, if you never experience a storm, emotional or those nasty thunder heads, you can never really know what it feels like being happy sitting in the sun shine. This friend of yours day, will come, in her time.

Herman Munster sings a little song called "It takes all kinds of people, to make a world". It is so very true.
Be a friend, and give her a hug, it might be all she really needs.

Here is another one that emphasizes the point.

I am no Pyscholgist but I think it depends on their lives.
Your first friend was very emotional because maybe she really did appreciate her marriage. It was a big deal to her and maybe she really love her husband deep inside. When the divorce happened, she realized it was too late but couldn't do anything because it was to late.

Your second friend maybe wasn't to committed to the divorce. I'm not saying that's true but sounds like it or maybe she was strong and positive about it. A divorce can be a tough situation but she got over it. She wasn't as emotional and just let go off the past to live the present.

I think rich people have very different lives. When you say rich person, I think of a person with a couple cars, 3/4 room house, and with a lot of money. People change with money. Most of the time it's for a worse. Rich people think they can do whatever they want and feel they have power with all the money. Money makes these people have problems with their personal life and social life. At the end, thy realize money can't buy happiness. Maybe your other friend has a good life for now or maybe he/she really does appreciate what's first and then money.

I'm not Psychologist but this is what I think. hope it helps.

Originally posted by UltimateSkeptic1
I was having a conversation today with a friend about her divorce. She has been emotionally suffering for 8 months now over this.

I also have another friend who was divorced 2 months ago under very similar circumstances. And yet she was only sad for a couple of days, at most, then got on with her life and is generally happy.

I also have rich friends who are very happy, and rich friends who are very depressed.

So how is it when external circumstances are similar, one person can be happy, and another suffer?

What causes emotional suffering?

It seems to me that if we can figure this out, and teach how to be happy instead of suffer, the entire world can evolve into something much greater than what we have today.

Personality. Some people thrive on being miserable.

If I could pin it to one thing?

Unobserved thought.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain

Originally posted by olaru12
reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1

 

Much emotional suffering is caused by brain chemistry being all wonky from a bad diet, ugly drugs and sloth.

Voice of experience here....

The emotional suffering was already there, the rest are just symptoms.

I stand by my original statement....

of course I don't really expect anyone to read this but....

psychcentral.com...

Originally posted by UltimateSkeptic1

What causes emotional suffering?

Too many emotions without the ability to prioritize them. The way I see it is how a person adapts to change. In the case of rich people though, I really don't know. If you have a lot of money and are still unhappy, there's something inside that's making you that way.

In the case of your divorced friend, it might have something to do with her ability to adapt. Some people handle change well while others don't. When divorce isn't wanted by one of the people involved, it's a negative change as well. In the end, only the person who takes it really hard can answer your question. They need to find out why they're staying miserable longer than they should.

I've been told that my adaptability skills are above average, which goes a long way in explaining why I can just change courses in life without really missing a beat. I'm emotional, but I learned a long time ago that you can't let your emotions get in the way of change when it's needed. Your friend needs to learn that. I made the mistake of being miserable about a change in my life a very long time ago and I ended up wasting what could have been a very good time in my life. But I was young, stubborn and did NOT want to be where I was at. So I copped an attitude and ended up being a real shi**y person for a few years. And a few more after that. Being miserable about something isn't going to change what is. Or was. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and realize that there are going to be times when your're not fully in control of your own life. That's just the way it goes sometimes.

If you're unhappy about something because of external circumstances, and you have the option, turn and walk away. And on your way out the door, remember the good times you had and the positive changes that happened when you were with that person. Accentuate the positive as they say. That's what I learned years after that bad time in my life and it slowly made me a better person. You live and you learn. And what I learned is that I made those years terrible with a bad attitude.

Your friend is making herself miserable by not letting herself get over it. That's really the long and short of it.

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1

What causes emotional suffering?

The word is attachment or a feeling of dependency, or the breaking of an attachment or dependency. Your friend who's been suffering for 8 months still cares. Amongst my über rich acquaintances, those who worked for what they have tend to be generally more happy than those who inherited their privileged lifestyle. Basically being self-sufficient is what makes people happy. Understandably. Who wants to feel trapped or dependent on others? If there's an underlying thing that we should work towards to remove emotional suffering. It's the complete self empowerment of all people.

reply to post by UltimateSkeptic1


What causes emotional suffering?
You do. The individual that is experiencing 'emotional suffering' is the one that is causing it.
Go and find that one and the suffering will end.