How Do You Stop a Bully?

reply to post by apporro


You are exactly right man. I remember being bullied once in 4th grade, and I got tired of it so I devised a plan. When he started the verbal abuse, I responded with a bait insult to get him enraged. When he did, I ran up a few stairs, and he followed as planned. I ran up the stairs and waiting in this corner where he couldn't see. And as he turned the corner, I grabbed him quickly without letting him react and I hemmed him up in the corner with my eyes all bugged out and yelling all kinds of things. Face all distorted and everything. I can't remember what I yelled but I know it was along the lines of "DONT F******K wit me me" Just all uncontrollably.

After that day, we became friends.

So yeah, scare the crap out of them. Do this by pretending you are going bat# crazy, or however you choose. But do it.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest

While I'm not advocating violence by any means - however sometimes, a person needs to do what a person needs to do....
The Casey Heynes story
The Telegraph

I went to kindergarten from when I was 9 months old until first grade .My parents had three children,both worked all the time,and still we were poor.I remember that it was mandatory for parents to bring a pair of pajamas to the kindergarten for the daily nap.Well I only had one pair of pajamas and I slept in my tights,other kids relentlessly bullied me for that,and my speech because I was stuttering.I will remember that until the day I die,it never leaves you,but it also brings something inside you that makes you or breaks you.People are mean and will be your whole life,you have to learn how to deal with them without being whiny little bitch .Assholes are assholes and they are not worth any your time or consideration.In the wise words of George R.R Martin

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.

Look, bullying has to be reported in order to be stopped. A lot of children that are bullied are afraid of tattling, fearing that the retaliation would be much greater than if they just stayed mute about it. To stop the bullying parents and educators must act, and punish the bullies severely. It has to begin with the parents

reply to post by adnachiel21

I went to kindergarten from when I was 9 months old until first grade

You started kindergarten when you were only nine months old ??

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


if you ever encounter a bona fide bully, this is my advice to you:

try and talk your way out of it. make a whole bunch of excuses and try and bore him to death. maybe he'll leave.

many people will say bullies are just afraid...but bullies are not afraid. they are brave.

actually trying to stop one, unless you've exhibited bullying behavior yourself is just going to make the pounding worse.

i've seen those types in action...a real bully will stand before a Judge, while in the company of police and threaten the Judge and the Judge will relent in his presence.

after seeing this wild performance, you begin to realize that guns and other weapons were not made for bullies, they were made because of them.

the best thing is to put away the violence and try and reason your way out.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


Short term solution to bullying: give them a taste of their own medicine, hit them back where it hurts and show them you're not afraid to defend yourself, tell them to leave you alone etc. The reason this works is almost all bullies pick on weaker people to feel good about themselves so this will prove you're no weakling.

Long term solution: Find out why they are so insecure so they end up feeling powerful out of the angst of others. More than likely its a problem with roots at home, parents etc. Fix the problem.

Voila!

reply to post by nusnus


NO! do not listen to that person as they do not know what they are talking about.

Bullies almost always bully people that are larger and older than themselves and if you encounter one, its because of something you did to someone smaller than yourself.

attacking a bully is suicide.

Originally posted by sith9157
Look, bullying has to be reported in order to be stopped. A lot of children that are bullied are afraid of tattling, fearing that the retaliation would be much greater than if they just stayed mute about it. To stop the bullying parents and educators must act, and punish the bullies severely. It has to begin with the parents

More often than not the tattling makes things worse. Like the bully getting his/her friends and finding you after school hours.

I hate to say it but violence or physical self defense is the single best way to handle a bully.
Been there, done that.
Now my kids are experiencing the same. You'd better believe I've taught them my signature left hook.

when you are bullied, the best defense is to fight back with all you got.

Instead of coming to take your lunch money, they will pick on a weaker target next time.

In school, this natural balance is disrupted and children become subjects of the State.

So the bulling will continue.

THIS GOES FOR GOVT BULLIES AS WELL

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest
Hello ATS,

There is an increase in bullying behavior, it would seem. Part of the problem undoubtedly stems from difficult times around us, but bullying was always there.

We seem to focus a lot on individual cases, etc., as there are many dimensions to this: be it child, or an adult, the same phenomenon under different names.

Detecting a bully is rather easy, if not patently obvious. Some would claim they are psychopaths, some would say they are lost souls, some would claim that bullies are victims themselves.

The question remains: how do you stop a bully?

What do you think?

Cheers!

Bam ! Bam Bam Bam !! Take that you bully ! That should do it.

My daughter was bullied in school. I instructed her the next time to not think but do the right thing and break the other girl's nose. Never had a problem in school after that. It is everyone's duty to protect one's self.

Originally posted by michaelbrux
reply to post by nusnus

 

NO! do not listen to that person as they do not know what they are talking about.

Bullies almost always bully people that are larger and older than themselves and if you encounter one, its because of something you did to someone smaller than yourself.

attacking a bully is suicide.

Attacking a bully can be suicide. In my experiences bullies were popular, had everything and came from wealthy families and had lots of friends.
What "they" tend to tell you is that the "bully" has a rough home life and is often bullied themselves. Bull#.
The majority of the bullies only bully to assert dominance.
The best way to handle them (the arrogant types) is through physical retaliation and if need be on their freinds as well.

reply to post by kimish


i'm sure Bullies all over the country will be interested in hearing your beliefs.

you've doomed non-bullies everywhere because all the bullies will adopt the Bush doctrine of Preemptive Strikes.

are you happy now?

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


I would argue that bullying isn't necessarily on the increase as much as its the awareness of it that makes it appear so...much like how everyone thinks earthquakes are on the increase because every year there are more and more sensors out there to detect earthquakes on every scale virtually everywhere.

As far as stopping a bully goes part of the equation is ignoring them and give them zero-feedback. Bully's use negative feedback as positive feedback so zero feedback is best. The most effective method that I have seen in bully management is on the victim side of things.

Surround them with support and healthy coping options and you could potentially turn those bullies into fuel for someone to do great things. The problem lies when the victim has no support or healthy resources to cope with their nemesis at school or whatever, this is when they turn into drugs, self abuse, suicide/depression, etc...

The key is teaching kids healthy ways to rise and overcome adversity. This turns them into their bully's boss 10 years down the road. As far as the actual "bully's" go...they are best left alone to eventually realize there is no return on their abusive investment in others. Once they see their victims succeeding and enjoying life their only victim left will be themselves.

Here is a website:
www.bullymanagement.org...

My brother in-law started this organization up to focus on victim support and educating youngsters about bullying. in the local area in which we live. I know he has plans to expand on it but for now locally is where we are at.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


Spray them with Fox 5.3 and kick the snot out of them

Oh and kick the snot out of them....

When I was in Jr.High, I was with the middle crowd..neither reject, nor popular..just the ones that got along with pretty much everyone, had some select friends, did our own thing. I had never experienced bullying. I have an older brother, a year above me, who was pretty popular so his friends were mine.
In 8th grade, there was this girl who was from a troubled home that liked to pick on everyone. I remember others saying "Don't mess with her..she will kick your a**!" and the like. I recall wondering why I would even be involved with her to begin with. She would punch girls and cause fights and get detentions and suspensions but somehow kept coming back to school. I never paid her much attention til that fateful day in the girl's locker room.

We were dressing and getting ready to go to the next bell, when this particular girl, "LaKeesha" came up in my face out of nowhere. I did not understand half of her mutilated English but finally understood she was accusing me of taking her purse or wallet or something like that. No sooner had I said "What on earth are you talking about??" and she slapped me hard in the face. I paused in great disbelief and the inanity and pure unfairness of it hit me even harder. She was still there yelling in my face. I recall a great hot rage deep inside and before I could stop myself, I punched the daylights out of her. As if in slow motion, she fell back into the triple mirrors and slumped, surprised and hurt. I had tears of rage in my eyes and she broke out bawling.

A female gym teacher took us both to the office and the girl cried and cried. She apologized and said she was just upset. I kept asking her why she had slapped me. I wanted an answer that never came.
Well, from that day forward, she stayed quiet, in the background. Her reign of terror had come and gone and all that year and the next, she remained a blip in the background. I would pass her in the hall and her eyes would drop down. She would mutter a fast "hi" and keep on walking.

Sometimes I think maybe I cured her issues, who knows. No one had stood up to her before and so she continued, unimpeded in her search for limits. When someone finally hit her back, she stopped.

it used to be simple, punch them in the mouth

but schools hve gotten so lazy, they punish defensive behaviour and .....label it bullying !!!!


but in the end, I'll tell my son the same thing, stand up and defend yourself, it's always better than taking it and then hating yourself

My tactic for bullies has been the same from when i was a child until today.

Stand up for yourself, make it very clear that you are done dealing with the crap. Give the bully the option to do something, or back off.

One of two things will happen, the bully will either back off because they are all bark, but no bite. Or the bully will step it up a notch and do something that will open the door for "Self Defense".

I am not a fighter, and have not, and never will be the one who throws the first punch. If someone hits me? Be ready to watch this gentle person get mean real quick.

tl:dr make em crap or get off the pot, most the time they get off the pot.

DC

Originally posted by michaelbrux
reply to post by kimish

 

i'm sure Bullies all over the country will be interested in hearing your beliefs.

you've doomed non-bullies everywhere because all the bullies will adopt the Bush doctrine of Preemptive Strikes.

are you happy now?

you're missing the point. they will be forced to look for weaker prey. it's the law of the jungle. even a big cat will leave a smaller animal alone if it puts up an impressive display



and they will look for easier prey

almost all bullies are abused at home, so they are looking for a victim to abuse

don't be a victim

keeping silent is suicide

I think that non violence is inferior to violence in the case of bullies because, well. SOME people arent nice, or fair, they dont give a # about the rules, or non violent techniques. SOME people dont, wont, ever care to be fair, or try to understand.

Again. Make it hard on the aggressor, and next time he will pick an easier target.