Can You Understand Me ?

Yeah...I learn a lot here, but I also like to share my beleifs, and I like when people tell me in u2u that "i've open a door in their mind, they just keep on searching because of me!!!!" makes me feel so happy to know I can help someone

Keep faith
Ameliaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was reading a post and alot of things came through my head you guys are kinda like my safe house... so I will let you guys put my thught s together I gotta run right now .. hopefully you can understand them .... my thoughts are very jumbled right now I am not sure why I just cannot think clearly or in complete sentences .... OK OK ... Now that everyone is done looking in this chat HEYOKA here look at this .. you say you feel somethign I am almost to say as if you are not even sure you knwo what it is ... well here is what I have come up with so far see what you think then give me a post back ok .. =-) ...
Just look up my name and look underneath

Can you understand me ?

And there you will find my true feelings behind everything ... I believe we live in a box that someone has maybe built for us it is made of simple Mirrors ... that are scientist look way far away and see these mirrors and they reflect back over and over becasue it is a box of mirrors but the startes they are actually looking at are actually endless it is because if you build a box put one laser light in the box ... it will appear to have endlesss amounts of lights although it is just one light.... I knwo what you are thinking why woudl someone do this .. well here is why ... The people on the outside of this box have actually figured ways to stop time ... stop aging ... they are about 100X more advanced that we are ... by all means they have us in a box that we have Quoted as a galaxy lol ... endless nothing ... LoL ... how stupid is that everythign we knwo has a end except for that but anyhow ... the reason they are doing this is because they were lieft some kind of manuscript of there History ... ""AKA .. the bible ... or some part of it New testament being the History lesson .. and the new testament being the legends and stories past down through generation have changed alittle bit ... and that is why there is Mathew Mark Luek John ... which is really the last names of families .... that have translated into those names hence ... Those are all familiar names they have been around for EVER !!!!! But they all differenciate in little ways becasue they are all stories that were not recorded untill one day they decided we know everythig nexcept how we got here ... Let's set up and earth just liek we were on billions of years ago set everythign up like we were before we evolved .... SO they sent Adam and Eve b/c they thought they could control them ... and monitor them they told them only do one thing DO NO DO THIS ... and what happens as it turns out they knew we would ... Just liek they would keep in my we are them ... Juts less advanced ... ... ALL THIS IS LEADING UP TO THEY CREATED A CONTROLLED EXPERIMENT THAT NOW IS OUT OF HAND WITH BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF PEOPLE. They cannot monitor us all so they assign people to people b/c their has to be alot of them they have been around for billions of centuries ... ALL they want to know is where they came from and how everythign became Advanced and how long it actually took them to get where they are right now ... Well they mark all the Inventions they had at the time .. and I think we are getting close to that Point in our Era. And some people even stumble onto things that they chouldn't stumble upon for years, so they just take care of those people ...

my thoughts are very jumbled right now I am not sure why I just cannot think clearly or in complete sentences

those around you who have no direction, cause the confusion. ignore them! they are the person who latches on to you when they dont know how to swim and you have to carry them, an emense strain on your phsyci.

you have a pretty vivid imagination mate, wether its theory, or subconsciously injected alien thought its a possibility. try and study a little astrophysics, that field explains a lot in the general sense of universal law.

as far as the whole box theory goes, i would like to think of us on a cosmic level as the plankton of our oceans. pretty insignifigant, and numurous. the greys would be the dolphin have evovled out of eating plankton, and is very inquisative. they are in my mind the most advanced and the big brother watching over us, if not explioting our leaders. either way they are a lot smarter then we can ever hope to be. or at least until we can figure out how to stop killing each other all the time.

Originally posted by MacKiller
Interesting Bet, I just had that same conversation with my girlfriend.

Yes, I can understand you.

I just had the same conversation with my roommate. Is there a reason this concept is being brought into the global consciousness now? Thoughts? Theories?

Wow... your thoughts are so revolutionary and radical.

....not.

What you are thinking is called philosophy, and it has been around since the early ages of modern man, you're not special kid. Go read some stuff on Socrates.... one of the godfathers of philosophy.

[edit on 12-10-2004 by UnconsciousEntity]

Originally posted by HarmoniusOne

Originally posted by MacKiller
Interesting Bet, I just had that same conversation with my girlfriend.

Yes, I can understand you.

I just had the same conversation with my roommate. Is there a reason this concept is being brought into the global consciousness now? Thoughts? Theories?

Now? Subjects like these are privately discussed all over the world, and has been for hundreds of years. Philosophy is nothing new. Probably why more and more people are skeptical about the validity of our reality is because of the mainstream media, mainly the movie industry. For example the Matrix series by the Wachowski brothers.

Originally posted by bet555


Is it possible that we could almost be a Dummy Kind of toy for another greater race. And they come in and can control us without us even knowing. We were under control and when we regain control people tell us we did something and we make up something in our minds of why we did it but it was really because of something else. HENCE, have you ever met someone that FLIPS out over everything little or big, what if that wasn't there fault and something just comes in and takes control maybe because there master likes to have alittle more fun than your master. ALMOST LIKE THE PEOPLE WITH ADD or Cancer , alzhiemerz or Bi Polar, disorders come because of these other things and we do not really have that much control over it.. Or suppose Saddam Husein had a master that was just plain krazy..... They can control our minds. And if you lose your mind you have nothing.


I have a question. First of all, I am bipolar, and if I am having a manic episode, my mind goes way beyond thinking outside the box. It is not like thought control when it happens, it is more like information ( ever hear of the collective unconcious?) is being downloaded into my brain and then my confused bipolar mind tries to make sense of it all. My question is this...if people with bipolar are victims of some thought control process by some alien entity or whatever, why would the controllers allow medications to be made and administered to patients that take away the crazy thought processes? It makes no sense. When I take my medication, the voices and delusional thoughts go away. I am still able to think out of the box however, I am just able to keep it under MY control.

UnconsciousEntity, highly enlightened one...!!

You may want to consider a little tact next time, if you want to offer advice, you don't do it by making people feel small.


[edit on 12-10-2004 by Koka]

Originally posted by Koka
UnconsciousEntity, highly enlightened one...!!

You may want to consider a little tact next time, if you want to offer advice, you don't do it by making people feel small.


[edit on 12-10-2004 by Koka]

I understand, and I apologize. I just feel it is my duty to put people in their place sometimes.

Originally posted by jadestonedoll

Originally posted by bet555


Is it possible that we could almost be a Dummy Kind of toy for another greater race. And they come in and can control us without us even knowing. We were under control and when we regain control people tell us we did something and we make up something in our minds of why we did it but it was really because of something else. HENCE, have you ever met someone that FLIPS out over everything little or big, what if that wasn't there fault and something just comes in and takes control maybe because there master likes to have alittle more fun than your master. ALMOST LIKE THE PEOPLE WITH ADD or Cancer , alzhiemerz or Bi Polar, disorders come because of these other things and we do not really have that much control over it.. Or suppose Saddam Husein had a master that was just plain krazy..... They can control our minds. And if you lose your mind you have nothing.


I have a question. First of all, I am bipolar, and if I am having a manic episode, my mind goes way beyond thinking outside the box. It is not like thought control when it happens, it is more like information ( ever hear of the collective unconcious?) is being downloaded into my brain and then my confused bipolar mind tries to make sense of it all. My question is this...if people with bipolar are victims of some thought control process by some alien entity or whatever, why would the controllers allow medications to be made and administered to patients that take away the crazy thought processes? It makes no sense. When I take my medication, the voices and delusional thoughts go away. I am still able to think out of the box however, I am just able to keep it under MY control.

Jadestonedoll

I am not a psychic nor do I know what is going on or what went on here on this earth for thousands of years. I was not here I do not believe in reicarnation although I am open to hearing someones views on that. I don't remember my past life is what I am trying to get at here. The only thing I know is what I feel and I might as well say it even if it is way off ... Just because what I say may not even be for me. It is just to get some information out there to see wath you guys think about it ... Like you said you are bi polar ... and when you take medication it helps you to think clearer. Hmm .... This is interesting my g/f actually got off meds ... but I get her .. Klonopine ... Xanax and ... Valumes ... .and they all make me pass out even if I take like a 4th of them. But not her if she takes them she gets happy and exited. This could be b/c she is lacking something in her body that this seems to advocate for. But .... there is alot more theories I am sure ... I just think for one that maybe it was how they were raised most of the time ... bipolar comews from broken family ... or something dramatic has happened in you are YOUR mothers life ... If physical diasease can get passed on through GENES ... why not Stress or emotional scars. That thier child may not even be able to align with because they do not know where the emotion is coming from but it gets put into other things. I say this and I may take it back ... I do not knwo what happens when my g/f has a panick attack and has to take like Rohypidol .. or whatever ... but ... I wish I could just experience it ... she cannot explain it to me at all ... She can't even try she doesn't even like to talk about it it makes her feel wierd. SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION Jadestonedoll it really is helping me. Please any more information about your life would be amazing. What anti-depressants you were on how long it took you untill they had to switch you to different meds b/c that one didn't work anymore. When the diagnosed you with Bi-Polar the first time you ever had a panic attack. What does it feel like EXACTLY take a PARAGRAPH to describe it if you can. .... THANKS THANKS THANKS .. for all the help ...

And who knows ... you could be the HUGE part of a puzzle. That may be the only diasease that these people outside of the box watching us cannot control. And maybe I was wrong about the box maybe I was wrong about the species being the same as us.

MAYBE these aliens have destroyed every race they have come to in the whole universe around us and they are protecting us b/c we have larger brains then them ... Which this is very probable ... the problem is, is that we only use a portion of our brain ... and these aliens know that but they also know that if they protect us for a long time then our minds will fully develop. And with our brain being as big as it is it will be far more advanced then thier brain. That is why so much control throguh government and so many wierd things happen and abducitons happen to test the people that have greatly advanced in thier brain. ... WHO KNOWS ... this is so scatter brained ... I will put it more together if you guys would like . but if you have been following this thread at all lol .... You will probably not have a very hard time distinguishing between this and the rest of my posts .... ... Please reply any information is helpful ... THANKS AGAIN ALL !!!


[edit on 10/13/2004 by bet555]

Originally posted by HarmoniusOne

Originally posted by MacKiller
Interesting Bet, I just had that same conversation with my girlfriend.

Yes, I can understand you.

I just had the same conversation with my roommate. Is there a reason this concept is being brought into the global consciousness now? Thoughts? Theories?

O.k listen...I have these kind of conversation with a lot of people I meet (parties, work, friends...) since about 2 months I would say, it's like very weird...people wake-up a lot, the cosmic dimension is near hehehe
Ameliaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

People wake up because you are more applicable to explaining what you feel and you are getting better at explaining it. Not because it is becoming more close to the time when everyone is going to wake up I think it is almost oposite people are goign to be asleep when the last days come. I think anyways, that is why it is becoming more necessary to strive to make people realize that we are not in this for ourselves but ... for LIFE ...

Originally posted by bet555

Originally posted by jadestonedoll

Originally posted by bet555


Is it possible that we could almost be a Dummy Kind of toy for another greater race. And they come in and can control us without us even knowing. We were under control and when we regain control people tell us we did something and we make up something in our minds of why we did it but it was really because of something else. HENCE, have you ever met someone that FLIPS out over everything little or big, what if that wasn't there fault and something just comes in and takes control maybe because there master likes to have alittle more fun than your master. ALMOST LIKE THE PEOPLE WITH ADD or Cancer , alzhiemerz or Bi Polar, disorders come because of these other things and we do not really have that much control over it.. Or suppose Saddam Husein had a master that was just plain krazy..... They can control our minds. And if you lose your mind you have nothing.


I have a question. First of all, I am bipolar, and if I am having a manic episode, my mind goes way beyond thinking outside the box. It is not like thought control when it happens, it is more like information ( ever hear of the collective unconcious?) is being downloaded into my brain and then my confused bipolar mind tries to make sense of it all. My question is this...if people with bipolar are victims of some thought control process by some alien entity or whatever, why would the controllers allow medications to be made and administered to patients that take away the crazy thought processes? It makes no sense. When I take my medication, the voices and delusional thoughts go away. I am still able to think out of the box however, I am just able to keep it under MY control.

Jadestonedoll

I am not a psychic nor do I know what is going on or what went on here on this earth for thousands of years. I was not here I do not believe in reicarnation although I am open to hearing someones views on that. I don't remember my past life is what I am trying to get at here. The only thing I know is what I feel and I might as well say it even if it is way off ... Just because what I say may not even be for me. It is just to get some information out there to see wath you guys think about it ... Like you said you are bi polar ... and when you take medication it helps you to think clearer. Hmm .... This is interesting my g/f actually got off meds ... but I get her .. Klonopine ... Xanax and ... Valumes ... .and they all make me pass out even if I take like a 4th of them. But not her if she takes them she gets happy and exited. This could be b/c she is lacking something in her body that this seems to advocate for. But .... there is alot more theories I am sure ... I just think for one that maybe it was how they were raised most of the time ... bipolar comews from broken family ... or something dramatic has happened in you are YOUR mothers life ... If physical diasease can get passed on through GENES ... why not Stress or emotional scars. That thier child may not even be able to align with because they do not know where the emotion is coming from but it gets put into other things. I say this and I may take it back ... I do not knwo what happens when my g/f has a panick attack and has to take like Rohypidol .. or whatever ... but ... I wish I could just experience it ... she cannot explain it to me at all ... She can't even try she doesn't even like to talk about it it makes her feel wierd. SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION Jadestonedoll it really is helping me. Please any more information about your life would be amazing. What anti-depressants you were on how long it took you untill they had to switch you to different meds b/c that one didn't work anymore. When the diagnosed you with Bi-Polar the first time you ever had a panic attack. What does it feel like EXACTLY take a PARAGRAPH to describe it if you can. .... THANKS THANKS THANKS .. for all the help ...

And who knows ... you could be the HUGE part of a puzzle. That may be the only diasease that these people outside of the box watching us cannot control. And maybe I was wrong about the box maybe I was wrong about the species being the same as us.

MAYBE these aliens have destroyed every race they have come to in the whole universe around us and they are protecting us b/c we have larger brains then them ... Which this is very probable ... the problem is, is that we only use a portion of our brain ... and these aliens know that but they also know that if they protect us for a long time then our minds will fully develop. And with our brain being as big as it is it will be far more advanced then thier brain. That is why so much control throguh government and so many wierd things happen and abducitons happen to test the people that have greatly advanced in thier brain. ... WHO KNOWS ... this is so scatter brained ... I will put it more together if you guys would like . but if you have been following this thread at all lol .... You will probably not have a very hard time distinguishing between this and the rest of my posts .... ... Please reply any information is helpful ... THANKS AGAIN ALL !!!


[edit on 10/13/2004 by bet555]

You're talking out of your rectum my friend. All of these theories are just a bunch of "What ifs". You have too much faith in your imagination. There are realistic probabilities, like the probability that our solar system can really be part of a microscopic organism within a larger entity.... and then there are far-fetched elaborate conspiracy theories without enough evidence to convince anybody anything which you have been crapping out of your butt this whole time about.

This was gongi to be an edit. But when Columbus said the world was round there were people that said it was wrong but you didn't see them proving it did you ? Why ... simply because you cannot prove it wrong. Why would your brain not work 70% ... That is right 70% of your brain is not functionable ... Why is that ... ??? Why does our hands work our heart work our feet work our lungs work both of them our toungues work all of them not just 30% of it. This is WIERD to me ... I find something wrong with us not using even 50% of our minds. The Mind is a terrible thing to waste .... I am not sure whoever said that knows how true it is .... I think we have the perception that we live in a world that does not allow us to think. It is almost as if we have learned everything since people thoguht radical back in the day they get props ... But anyone thinking radically now days get just exactly what the radical thinkers back then got ... PROVE IT ... Make me the damn machine that will and I will prove it ... LoL .... Give me a grant to bad there is no king to go before and beg for money. I mean I guess it woudl be a good time to ask George W. LoL ..

Guess, If anyone else has any other information on the world being made in our head and the people that have placed us here having put a FIREWALL in our brain that will not allow us to access certain memories and certain not so much ways of thinking I am not so sure the rest of our brain is used for thinking. ...

I think this even could go on to explain why people are different .. Example ... : ADD ... What is to say that whomever put these implants in us ,that are so microscopic that we cannot even see it, I have to go write another insurance policy ... LoL . B/c I am an insuracne agent lol ... a 21 year old insurance agent LoL ... Maybe that explains why I am so special with my thoughts ..

[edit on 10/13/2004 by bet555]

And ... What prove do you have that any of this didn't go on ? This is a web site and ... Mushrooms grown outta # ... So I guess all crap isn't good just as long as it doesn't go through a human b/c a human has Acid in there stomachs that ruins the seeds. Why do stomachs of humans destroy the seeds in the #. ????? Just a thought that was an interesting use of words there and thought I might expand on what you said for you ... How you like my work ?

When Columbus said the world was round there were people that said it was wrong but you didn't see them proving it did you ? Why ... simply because you cannot prove it wrong. Why would your brain not work 70% ... That is right 70% of your brain is not functionable ... Why is that ... ??? Why does our hands work our heart work our feet work our lungs work both of them our toungues work all of them not just 30% of it. This is WIERD to me ... I find something wrong with us not using even 50% of our minds. The Mind is a terrible thing to waste .... I am not sure whoever said that knows how true it is .... I think we have the perception that we live in a world that does not allow us to think. It is almost as if we have learned everything since people thoguht radical back in the day they get props ... But anyone thinking radically now days get just exactly what the radical thinkers back then got ... PROVE IT ... Make me the damn machine that will and I will prove it ... LoL .... Give me a grant to bad there is no king to go before and beg for money. I mean I guess it woudl be a good time to ask George W. LoL ..

Guess, If anyone else has any other information on the world being made in our head and the people that have placed us here having put a FIREWALL in our brain that will not allow us to access certain memories and certain not so much ways of thinking I am not so sure the rest of our brain is used for thinking. ...

I think this even could go on to explain why people are different .. Example ... : ADD ... What is to say that whomever put these implants in us ,that are so microscopic that we cannot even see it, I have to go write another insurance policy ... LoL . B/c I am an insuracne agent lol ... a 21 year old insurance agent LoL ... Maybe that explains why I am so special with my thoughts ..

Originally posted by bet555
This was gongi to be an edit. But when Columbus said the world was round there were people that said it was wrong but you didn't see them proving it did you ? Why ... simply because you cannot prove it wrong. Why would your brain not work 70% ... That is right 70% of your brain is not functionable ... Why is that ... ??? Why does our hands work our heart work our feet work our lungs work both of them our toungues work all of them not just 30% of it. This is WIERD to me ... I find something wrong with us not using even 50% of our minds. The Mind is a terrible thing to waste .... I am not sure whoever said that knows how true it is .... I think we have the perception that we live in a world that does not allow us to think. It is almost as if we have learned everything since people thoguht radical back in the day they get props ... But anyone thinking radically now days get just exactly what the radical thinkers back then got ... PROVE IT ... Make me the damn machine that will and I will prove it ... LoL .... Give me a grant to bad there is no king to go before and beg for money. I mean I guess it woudl be a good time to ask George W. LoL ..

Guess, If anyone else has any other information on the world being made in our head and the people that have placed us here having put a FIREWALL in our brain that will not allow us to access certain memories and certain not so much ways of thinking I am not so sure the rest of our brain is used for thinking. ...

I think this even could go on to explain why people are different .. Example ... : ADD ... What is to say that whomever put these implants in us ,that are so microscopic that we cannot even see it, I have to go write another insurance policy ... LoL . B/c I am an insuracne agent lol ... a 21 year old insurance agent LoL ... Maybe that explains why I am so special with my thoughts ..

[edit on 10/13/2004 by bet555]

First of all Columbus was a nobody. He was sent on a mission to map out trade routes for his country, but accidently stumbled across exotic land already inhabited by natives. He eventually kept sailing west and ended up in the mediterranean sea, at which point he figured out the world was round. He witnessed HIMSELF that the world was indeed spheric in shape and form, and was capable of providing solid evidence to show for it.

Now about the percentage of brain usage. We DO use 100% of our brain, just not SIMULTANEOUSLY, because it's not neccesary. We use a fraction of our brain depending on what it is trying to process, not all of it all at once.

People who thought radically back then had something to show for it, like written work, scientific breakthroughs, and philosophical revelations. Your thoughts are worthless and don't amount to anything. It's just "WHAT IF SO AND SO, AND WHAT IF THIS AND THAT". They're not facts, heck they're not even theories, they're just your imagination, and with no depth and substance. Anyone can imagine something and write about it, but at least others' are actually interesting.

[edit on 13-10-2004 by UnconsciousEntity]

People have caged themselves in. Government, Nwo, whoever you want to blame, had nothing to do with it, we did it all by ourselves.

As for a god... I believe there may be an all powerful being, it surely would explain alot, I just don't think anybody on earth has a clue about what the being is really like.

Just ask yourself this: If you were faced with building a universe, then populating it, how would you do it?

Simple, create evolution. Design the most basic being capable of surving in harsh conditions, then let it evolve into more advanced being suited to that planet.

Or, create a master race, and have them populate the universe for you in a similar way to the above scenario.

Originally posted by bet555

Originally posted by jadestonedoll

Originally posted by bet555


Is it possible that we could almost be a Dummy Kind of toy for another greater race. And they come in and can control us without us even knowing. We were under control and when we regain control people tell us we did something and we make up something in our minds of why we did it but it was really because of something else. HENCE, have you ever met someone that FLIPS out over everything little or big, what if that wasn't there fault and something just comes in and takes control maybe because there master likes to have alittle more fun than your master. ALMOST LIKE THE PEOPLE WITH ADD or Cancer , alzhiemerz or Bi Polar, disorders come because of these other things and we do not really have that much control over it.. Or suppose Saddam Husein had a master that was just plain krazy..... They can control our minds. And if you lose your mind you have nothing.


I have a question. First of all, I am bipolar, and if I am having a manic episode, my mind goes way beyond thinking outside the box. It is not like thought control when it happens, it is more like information ( ever hear of the collective unconcious?) is being downloaded into my brain and then my confused bipolar mind tries to make sense of it all. My question is this...if people with bipolar are victims of some thought control process by some alien entity or whatever, why would the controllers allow medications to be made and administered to patients that take away the crazy thought processes? It makes no sense. When I take my medication, the voices and delusional thoughts go away. I am still able to think out of the box however, I am just able to keep it under MY control.

Jadestonedoll

I am not a psychic nor do I know what is going on or what went on here on this earth for thousands of years. I was not here I do not believe in reicarnation although I am open to hearing someones views on that. I don't remember my past life is what I am trying to get at here. The only thing I know is what I feel and I might as well say it even if it is way off ... Just because what I say may not even be for me. It is just to get some information out there to see wath you guys think about it ... Like you said you are bi polar ... and when you take medication it helps you to think clearer. Hmm .... This is interesting my g/f actually got off meds ... but I get her .. Klonopine ... Xanax and ... Valumes ... .and they all make me pass out even if I take like a 4th of them. But not her if she takes them she gets happy and exited. This could be b/c she is lacking something in her body that this seems to advocate for. But .... there is alot more theories I am sure ... I just think for one that maybe it was how they were raised most of the time ... bipolar comews from broken family ... or something dramatic has happened in you are YOUR mothers life ... If physical diasease can get passed on through GENES ... why not Stress or emotional scars. That thier child may not even be able to align with because they do not know where the emotion is coming from but it gets put into other things. I say this and I may take it back ... I do not knwo what happens when my g/f has a panick attack and has to take like Rohypidol .. or whatever ... but ... I wish I could just experience it ... she cannot explain it to me at all ... She can't even try she doesn't even like to talk about it it makes her feel wierd. SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION Jadestonedoll it really is helping me. Please any more information about your life would be amazing. What anti-depressants you were on how long it took you untill they had to switch you to different meds b/c that one didn't work anymore. When the diagnosed you with Bi-Polar the first time you ever had a panic attack. What does it feel like EXACTLY take a PARAGRAPH to describe it if you can. .... THANKS THANKS THANKS .. for all the help ...

And who knows ... you could be the HUGE part of a puzzle. That may be the only diasease that these people outside of the box watching us cannot control. And maybe I was wrong about the box maybe I was wrong about the species being the same as us.

MAYBE these aliens have destroyed every race they have come to in the whole universe around us and they are protecting us b/c we have larger brains then them ... Which this is very probable ... the problem is, is that we only use a portion of our brain ... and these aliens know that but they also know that if they protect us for a long time then our minds will fully develop. And with our brain being as big as it is it will be far more advanced then thier brain. That is why so much control throguh government and so many wierd things happen and abducitons happen to test the people that have greatly advanced in thier brain. ... WHO KNOWS ... this is so scatter brained ... I will put it more together if you guys would like . but if you have been following this thread at all lol .... You will probably not have a very hard time distinguishing between this and the rest of my posts .... ... Please reply any information is helpful ... THANKS AGAIN ALL !!!


[edit on 10/13/2004 by bet555]

Hi bet555,

I'm afraid it would take more than a paragraph to fill you in on my bipolar adventures hehe. Your comment that bipolar disorder comes from a broken home was interesting, however I think that it's the other way around. Broken homes are a consequence of bipolar disorder. It is a very destructive disease.
Basically I was raised by both parents, but my late father was in all probability an undiagnosed manic depressive. He was abusive, unpredictable and dabbled in white collar crime. Growing up I was depressed as a teenager, but things kind of evened out as I hit my 20's. When I was 26, my father was arrested for the murder of his father. Up until that point, I was well balanced, happily married raising 2 children. But then, my bipolar started to manifest. For the next 3 years I existed in a hypomanic state. I literally became the life of the party. You would never have guessed that I had so much trouble in my life because in the hypomanic state I was HAPPY. Then, as it started to spiral out of control, my behaviours became worse and worse ( I won't go into the things I did, but let me assure you, they were very self destructive and hurt the people I loved very much. It all culminated in a full blown manic episode with psychotic features in January 2003, when I was 30. I was hospitalized and given risperdal, which is an anti psychotic mood stabilizer. This is when I started having panic attacks. Then I crashed into depression and was given celexa, which made me feel like an uncaring zombie. 6 months later I decided that I wasn't sick and stopped all meds. I began smoking pot again, and although I don't post very much here, if you read my posts from late last year and early this year, you can see that I was paranoid and not quite right. Then in February of this year I had another manic episode that landed me in hospital again. Then depression again until May. My pdoc put me back on the risperdal, which took away the mania, then put me on paxil. The paxil helped, but had a lot of side effects. So about a month ago, I stopped paxil and started on Wellbutrin, which I think is a wonder drug. So I am feeling good and normal now.
You asked exactly what does it feel like? Well, when the manic episode first starts, I feel elated. I'm so happy, and radical thoughts come into my head. I feel like there isn;t anything I couldn't figure out. Then as it gets worse, the thoughts come more rapidly, and seem to take on a life (voice) of their own. It just continues to spiral until my thoughts are so confused that it gets downright scary. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Someone on this thread said that we use 100% of our brains, just not simultaneously. I agree with that. In a bipolar episode, its like all 100% of your brain is working and its just overload, my concious mind can't handle it.

You say that we only use a portion of our brains and the aliens know it, so they protect it for a long time to let it fully develop. I can;t say that I agree with this because of my theory, which is this. If you look at prophets in the bible like Ezekiel, Elijah, even Paul of Tarsus, it isn't a stretch of the imagination to suspect that these men were victims of mental illness. I mean lets face it, these men hear the voice of God and they are called prophets; I hear the voice of God, and I am called crazy. If as you say, the "aliens" have been protecting brains for a long time to let them develop fully, it follows that bipolar should be a thing of the past.
Does this make sense? I hope so lol.

I would say that I know exactly what you mean by what you are explaining. But to tell you the truth I am not so sure I have ever experienced anything like that. Ecept one time ... I was stupid and did something real dumb and when the next morning came around I was still up and cracked out. My mind would not stop racing every time I would get up I would pass out for about 5 minutes and when I would come to. I would forget where I was for a little bit. It was horrible but the worst thing was my own head. I could not stop thinking abuot everything. And the bad part was little stuff that I usely never think about such as taking a step forward to the bathroom. I would have to think and make each one of my feet move one at a time. And that was nothing .. compared to the other billion and a half thoguhts in my head. The bad thing was I could not control them .... Well .. untill I went and got about 25 bars and an ounce. ... Then it was pretty relaxing ... but for real I have to drive while I felt bad it was the most .... I can't explain it just so many thoughts I have never even thought before .... such as can I switch lanes ... Can I do this ... Can I do that . Should I do that ... But that is interesting that you say it may be the other way around ... Bipolarness causes homes to break up ... and this may be true but, I think it may be an easier way of letting yourself down. I think and my g/f has this too ok ... so I am not being ... Sarcastic ... or mean or anything.... Before I tell you this .. let me tell you how my days go by ... Me and my g/f usually get in an argument about 3 times a day and when we are not in an argument she is treating me liek the love of her life. But those other times are horrid. She sometimes just will break down and sometimes tell me exactly what is going through her head. And it may be b/c she is stressed but most of the times the argument is just about her thinking to much about somethign I said. Then she will talk to me about it and she will tell me that she just got mad at me b/c when she was little her mom and dad got into fights and they are divorced now and she just wants to see what I can handle before I would leave her ... She has now hit me in the face probably 20 times ... as hard as she can ... I am about 6'6 and weigh probably 240 so ... it woudl take alot coming out of her .. .5'4 .. 100 lbs to hurt me. But , it still does hurt on the inside that this girl can do that to me and really love me ? Sometimes I question it myself. but ... I guess I just feel like I have never felt towards anyone in my whole entire Life ... so ... I will ... "RUN THE RACE" LoL .. if you will thanks for talking about this with me it really does help me to better understand everything.