I fear my wife may be a Reptilian

reply to post by Blargcakes


ROTFLMFAO

An alligator....

those are so cool.

I used to have one drink milk I would set on my front porch. I think it was for the cat it ate though. As far as kimono's , in mother Russia, you follow kimonos.

reply to post by BIHOTZ


Noooooooo,do not stop by the pet store.
Cats are not on the menu!

reply to post by Blargcakes


So your wife has an extremely long tounge, she likes to play with snakes, she "dissapears" in the bathroom and leaves you alone for hours at a time, and she eats cats.


I'm not seeing the problem here.

Originally posted by Blargcakes
Hello ATS. After many years of worrying, yesterday I believe I saw proof that my wife is a Reptilian shape shifter.

When I first met her, she seemed like a normal woman. She was eager to get married, she proposed to me after we dated for 4 weeks. We haved lived happily for 12 years now, but around year 3 of our marriage I began to notice strange things. For years she would dissappear into our bathroom for long periods of time (hours), and I would hear tearing and grunting noises, along with some sort of rythmic hissing. She refused to be in pictures or video, even for our wedding we had no cameras. She loves snakes, and has an aquariam filled with them. Her tongue in unnaturally long and I've seen it become pointed late at night. She can see extremely well in the dark. She has superhuman strength. She has said strange things about time travel. One morning she remarked how JFK's hair looked lighter in person than the films show, and she has said strange things like that.

But yesterday was the eye opener. My wife was outside in the yard playing with her pet Komodo dragon. A stray cat ran in our yard. My wife grabbed the cat, and in a split second her jaw expanded and she ate the entire cat. I ran to my car and drove to a far away hotel and decided to post this thread. What do I do?

I believe someone has just been watching a 'V' marathon....

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Oh come on freaked out by a long tongue... I doubt it lol

reply to post by mamabeth


well, they could go to an animal shelter and get a sick cat they were going to euthanize.

That or put a dog inside a hello kitty stuffed animal

That sounds like a typical female to me (sorry ladies present company excluded..) griping hissing

Originally posted by Starchild23
Reptilians...pure-blooded reptilians...are incapable of carrying human relationships convincingly, to the point of simply being inhuman on all levels. Their hatred of the human race is too great for such a sensitive task as being a wife. Additionally, they don't "shape shift". They have holographic projectors. That's it.

Therefore, your suspicions are completely bunk. You need help...not for her, but for yourself.

edit on CTuesdaypm141402f02America/Chicago01 by Starchild23 because: (no reason given)

Sounds like your experience is only with Reptilians drones. I believe I nearly mated with an alpha queen. Much more intelligent and able to form fake emotional relationships with humans. Also, she was capable of shape shifting, and I believer her friends were as well. She would introduce me to her friends, and then next week the same "person" had different hair or eye color. I believe one even changed skin color iirc. But i appreciate someone else with Reptilian experience commenting and offering your opinion.

reply to post by Blargcakes


Excuse me for being skeptical

but where is the reptilian hierarchy? is this something you can google?

or do you need to use a lizard search engine?

Originally posted by Blargcakes


Good advice. Sounds like you have experience running from "them" as well. Was it Reptilians after you as well?

No, alcoholic ex wife. Far scarier than any Reptilian.

Have you considered going to the FBI, telling them your story and having them help you hide? If you know, you know they know and are on the lookout for this. Try them, see how they respond.

reply to post by Blargcakes


And you weren't worried about living with an komodo dragon or an alligator in your back yard because either of those beasts would have me running for a hotel stay in no time... never mind a cat eating spouse...

Originally posted by Zcustosmorum

Originally posted by ManBehindTheMask
Single post.........

No replies from OP to any of this........

I say trash it.......deliberate Hoax and Trolling, which is against T and C, some mods seem to forget that...........not even Gray Area material.........

Nah, not so hasty mate, they could be having a domestic about how they've been holding out on each other

AHHHAAA touche' my friend well played, well played!

I suppose i should reserve judgement, who knows, maybe he will get a video.........

im not sure we can post it on ATS tho lol

Originally posted by Blargcakes
She would introduce me to her friends, and then next week the same "person" had different hair or eye color. I believe one even changed skin color iirc. But i appreciate someone else with Reptilian experience commenting and offering your opinion.

I love versatile women...

Originally posted by OutKast Searcher
reply to post by Blargcakes

 

So your wife has an extremely long tounge, she likes to play with snakes, she "dissapears" in the bathroom and leaves you alone for hours at a time, and she eats cats.


I'm not seeing the problem here.

edit on 1-5-2012 by OutKast Searcher because: (no reason given)

....and we have a winner. Do what you will to me Mods.

reply to post by Blargcakes

I believe I nearly mated with an alpha queen.

You've been married for 12 years and haven't mated yet???

I think I found a video of your wife bro...

she has been practicing and not just in the bathroom.

You guys can scoff, but is this really all that different from any number of other threads here that talk of space being a hologram, or the moon being Noah's Ark, or Tia Tequila being Illuminati?

Point being, most of the people reading this post are probably wackdoodle.

reply to post by BIHOTZ


Wow that is amazing detective work. Star for you!

Originally posted by OutKast Searcher
reply to post by Blargcakes

 

I believe I nearly mated with an alpha queen.

You've been married for 12 years and haven't mated yet???

[/quote

By mating, I mean intercourse for the sake of reproduction