I am just a girl..

reply to post by Tripple_Helix


Tripple_Helix,
Wow! Thank you for taking the time to actually read my thread and respond! I do believe from your response we have quite a few things in common!
I want to quote you seriously, because I know EXACTLY how you feel and how frustrating it is when you know someone is feeling opposite than they are letting out. Because exactly what you said is what I've argued to myself.. Well I can't tell someone ,"No you're not really feeling that way, you're feeling this was and lying and I can tell."
It is always because we feel it so strong it is obvious. Ha. I love that!
Go ahead and friend me, I have been needing friends on here that I can relate to and read their threads as well!
I am keen to the fact you share experiences with dark figures, and animal connections, as I do.
I do find peace in knowing I am not alone, and there are others out there just like me, who actually desire intelligent conversation and sharing with one another.
I am once again, Thankful for every post I get. Yours is one of those I am thankful for.
Thank you for making me smile and being my one of my first friends! I hope to learn more about you and from you!

reply to post by Hellas


Hellas,
I was waiting for you to stop by.
Thanks for taking time to read a little bit about me.
You're message is short and sweet, and I love it.
You know I have grown fond of you since I started on ATS.
You were literally the first person to speak to me.
I wish the best and all well for you too Hellas.

reply to post by newcovenant


newcovenant,
Thanks for stopping by and writing me! I will share with you the respect for such a great writer and quote. My mother actually has quite a few inspirational quotes from Mae West on her board above her computer. If you enjoy reading her work, check out GoodReads.com
Thanks for stopping by

reply to post by HumansBeing


HumansBeing,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and respond! To be honest I did not think about that.
When I put 2 and 2 together though, it would make sense to research the type of green enviroment around me. Considering in my dream I was told, "I can play, but NOT on the lawn.." Hmmm..
Thank you so much for being so inquistive and having a mind like a problem solving machine.
I will now, no doubt check into it. Even if it is not the cause, I want to thank you enough for caring to respond with your advice. I still think it is awesome you listened to my dream and what he really told me.
When I do finally figure out the meaning, Oh that'll be the day!
Anyways.. The reason I came to ATS was for intelligent opinions and offerings of advice.
I will add your comment to the list of comments I am thankful for.

reply to post by Katharos62191


No probs, you sound like a cool cat, we would likely talk for hours in person...but you had to go and be on the other side of the planet!

c ya around

Hello Katharos. You have a lot to share as i can see which as a person who loves to observe and read others experiences is great. (That is the main reason i come to this website. To observe peoples patterns of understanding based off their environment they have portrayed and how they came to these understandings.) As being one of the younger members (just turned 22 on 2/22) it is refreshing to see more younger people who have gigantic understanding or curiosity about life as it is presented to us 'as is' and how life is not understood fully.

I have always been interested in the many things you have written about. One thing first and foremost is schizophrenia. Since i was a teenager i have always been fascinated with peoples personal psychology on things. Psychology and sociology is one thing i have a great understanding for and as i've observed many people online and in person i have grown to better understand and recognize underlying issues which result in such behavior. In schizophrenia i have hypothesized that it is a personal perception brought out by internal vibrations that are synch with oneself. A person with schizophrenia who sees things or hears things are tapping into a different spectrum of consciousness or awareness be it their own inner projections or their environmental perceptions. Their subconscious thoughts are projected via sights or sounds. This is too in depth to explain fully in this post.

Understanding why people are the way they are has been an odd and painful journey for myself as personal relationships have brought me to sorrow filled lows. It has forced me to look within myself to work out my problems i have projected externally due to the trauma i have been through since a young age. It was because of one of this toxic relationships and an abrupt spiritual experience whilst on "#ake" mushrooms that has lead me down this path. Since i turned 18 around 4 years ago my life has drastically changed. I see everything on both sides of the spectrum so to speak. I can understand both sides of an argument and see where both parties are trying to get at and i have been a mediator many times to help others understand fully the bigger picture of what they are trying to explain to another. I see so many disconnections with peoples communications due to impatience or just plain ignorance.

Through my painful, yet experienced journey i have grown exponentially. I have witnessed many children, lost and in a world of their own hell living in adult physical bodies. I see the beauty of this world, yet i see the chaos. I left school during middle school due to a debilitating trauma i experienced at the age of 12 which caused me severe anxiety, depression and agoraphobia for many years. Since then I have been able to learn for myself and have seen a different perspective of the education system which i despise. People who have gotten to know me and talk with me are shocked when i tell them i don't have a systematic education past the grade of 6th. I have recognized my intelligence and understanding of life on all levels and because i have always loved to write, i can articulate myself very well. I have learned to research things myself and i've realized anything i put my heart into i can understand very quickly. Though because of pressure from family members and the social pressures that they've become conditioned with, i received my G.E.D the 2nd day i went at the age of 16 . I've seen the indoctrination and illusion the 'education' system gives people to live lives of materialistic distraction from ones self.

Through researching many eastern religions i started meditating to heal my trauma. Through these meditations i have had many spiritual experiences which have brought a greater understanding of myself, my potential as one single person and the potential of humanity if it is set on an ultimate evolutionary goal. I think my problem though is that i am too idealistic in my dreams and that my ambition is thwarted by the hoops i would have to jump through just to have my plans and solutions recognized by others in a positive light.

I think you are an interesting person with much curiosity and i think that curiosity will lead you down a broad spectrum of paths that pave your life's journey. Just be aware that on this forum there are a lot of people with many belief systems and that trying to get your point understood at times can be very difficult. Although there is more i can write about i am going to leave that for another time.

Welcome!

Originally posted by timidgal
reply to post by Katharos62191

 

Not to step on DanBones' shoes but this was a thoroughly enjoyable discussion for many of us. The tone of your writing and emotions have changed significantly since your OP and I think I speak for many of us who are going to sleep with a smile on our faces.

Be well, Katharos. Keep your eye on the big picture and keep in touch!

Timidgal

hey, I wear workboots when I go dancing you may step as you please

reply to post by Imtor


Imtor,
You are obviously humble, you are very knowledgeable.
I absolutely love to hear about dreams, your dreams in particular are very interesting.
You said that you dreamt of a Valley, and later on the Mountain you travelled to that Valley you saw in the dream?
I realize, and you obviously realize too that you have almost premonition type dreams pertaining to future travel. Like you just stated. But for some reason, that one struck a chord with me.
Mainly because I have had dreams of a certain house, (that I got shot in the back with a staple gun in the dream actually) But I had a dream of the house, tall grass grown up around it, and an old dingy car in the yard.
Only to travel years later to a town I had never driven through, for my car to die and run out of gas on a long road, literally in front of this house I dreamed of so long ago. So maybe I can throw that into the travel premonition dreams genre as well!
Also, I do not want to press you to write of war because if you are like me, I completely understand not wanting to further into that subject. But I would love to hear more about your dream of feeling impending doom, almost like you're about to be physically blown away in your dreams? That is a very powerful dream, it sounds.
Were there any situations in your dream you remember before that, like where you were or why it was happening? Sometimes I only remember clips from my dream, that could be the case. I still would love to hear more anyways!
Also.. lets hope your dreams of an empty ocean was not premonition, but insinuating some type of emotional state you were in while dreaming, because well honestly.. I want to to go to the beach soon, and I hope there's water to do so! hehe

reply to post by NotSmilingAtYou


NotSmilingAtYou,
Haha, one thing I do find frustrating is the distance between the people I actually have connections with, or like you said, Could chat away for hours with. I guess I can say for once I enjoy the internet in that aspect. Or Heck I would have missed out and never met you!
At least we can speak on here, instead of not at all.
Also one day you never know, I am determined to travel the world, maybe I will make pit stops at the cool kids houses!
P.S. Im going to be honest and let you know, you're name reminds me of all those awkward moments, I look at people and smile back or wave , When in all reality they are really smiling at the person next to me or behind me. Yep your names makes me relive my embarrassing social awkward moments. haha.

Originally posted by Katharos62191
reply to post by AwakeinNM

 

Thank You Awakein for your gracious opinion! Like I said, I do respect every ones opinion here on ATS. Where did you get your M.D., Google?

I will reiterate respecting your opinion. I will also however, not change who I believe I am for the likes of one mans silly comment. However, I do like your avatar.

Thanks for the compliment. The only reason I say that about schizophrenics is that the ones I have known have expressed some seriously unrealistic notions.

reply to post by Katharos62191


Being young (I'm 10 years senior to you) & observant, I do not think I can totally wrap my head around everything you have written. Quite a remarkable personal essay though. I am going to have to re-read everything a few times to actually give you my take on it. S&F for the effort, we need more of that

29INFDIV

reply to post by jvm222


jvm222,
First and foremost, Thank you for actually taking the time to read my story, and respond with such a post.
Since I was young, I have also been nearly infatuated with studying people , they absolutely fascinate me. The way they act, what causes them to dress talk and be a certain way. Dream a certain dream. Also learning the psychological state they are in, and why they are in it. We share interests there!
Every one is different and to me it is like a never ending work of art, and a topic never short of people to study!
Also, that is very smart of you to study and learn about how their upbringings and eviroment attribute to beneficial factors of who they are as a person.

I honestly can tell you, with how well you articulate yourself and how you presented your response to me, NEVER would I have believed your schooling education ended at the 6th grade. However, I do believe school is just that, school, and a stepping stone. & I also believe even if you are not in school, if you in your heart want to learn something you will. I will be honest most of everything I have learned of any importance to me came to my knowledge after schooling. I guess that is just how it works. You my friend are an example of that as well.
I encourage you to and don't mind helping you in any way learn or further your knowledge on opinions with people who have dealt with schizophrenia. I just like to believe, no matter what the case or cause, I have a beautiful mind.
You are extremely well spoken and articulate, also not to mention very bright and interesting. I love the fact you study people and want to research more into them.. I feel I just read a quote that you might laugh about..
"People think I am quiet because I am shy, but really I've been silently judging them from afar, determining they're all idiots."
I thought it was funny, but it did remind me oh what you said, I feel you may watch and observe people sometimes to form theories and opinions on them. However, I am sure, unlike the quote , that you have taken an interest into interesting people.
Thanks jvm222 for responding! I cannot wait to hear more from you another time and to learn more about you and your interest in this life! Have a great day!

reply to post by AwakeinNM


Awakein,
That is alright, I do understand! Considering I have met some people that are diagnosed, who are completely off their rocker, so to speak. So I do not feel you should have to explain yourself for a completely legitimate response.
You're welcome for the compliment, it really is cool. It reminds me of one of my favorite old movies, A.I... just with Obama instead. Hope all is well and that you have a great day!

reply to post by 29INFDIV


291NFDIV,
I understand completely! It is very much information, in a very big dose! I do respectfully thank you for attempting to read and understand my story! I know you will be able to wrap your head around it once you have read it a time or two again.. Heck I had to read it more than twice to understand it myself
I also thank you for the S&F! I am very thankful for your comment, and the time you took out of your day to read, and commend me for my effort! Once again, another response I am thankful for!
I do hope you come back to re-read and understand!
Also, my future threads will be more, short and sweet and easier to read for you guys!

You have a fascinating story at such a young age, do not worry you will live a long and very interesting life.
The part of your story about the shadow figure, I can relate to. Remember anything not wiling to show itself should not be trusted, there is a reason to hide in the shadows, perfect example.....Shadow Government. If you have the means to get rid of this shadow you might want to consider this.

Peace to your heart and good health.

reply to post by Katharos62191


Well my dear, I find what you have experienced in your short years in this world quite fascinating. I have to say as much as you hate that doctors call you a schizo, it is my opinion that you should never stop talking about it, and though you may not feel you have any mental disorders, quite often many others can seem like schizophrenia... I too have been misdiagnosed in the past with schizophrenia and been put on some of the most extreme medications available through my younger years, it wasn't until I was 20 that my Dr retired and through the Dr that replaced him it was found that I am not a schizo. In fact there is nothing wrong with me, aside from PTSD from a few experiences that have happened to me over the years, I currently take a mild anxiety medication only when I have an attack ( IF anyone cares to know the names of the medication I was on, and am on now you will have to PM me as the T&C rules prevent me from posting them.)

You mentioned healing with your hands, as well as inflicting pain. I'm a little on the fence here, but it sounds like you could naturally be gifted in the practices of Reiki and or the Asians refer to Chi. This is a powerful energy that resides in all of us, that many individuals spend their whole lives honing their skills. I will advise you to learn proper grounding techniques as well you should look in to the practices of Reiki to learn how to expel the pain and negative energies you absorb through this practice. As much as movies like the green mile are hollywood stories, I strongly believe that when you " Heal " another individual you need to release that pain from yourself or you could experience negative results, and harm yourself in the process. This could be why at a young 20 years you have become so ill. You've literally taken on the pain and illness of those you've tried to help, and even though it is not your intent to take it into yourself, it is very possible that you have. My mother is a Reiki master, and she is trying to pass these skills down to me, as I too have the power of touch. So please, my advice to you is learn to ground and protect yourself, and it would be even more beneficial for you to practice meditation, to heal and communicate with your inner self. It may provide even more answers, and increase your abilities. This may also help you to control the things you hear and see. I personally cherish the gifts I have been given, and through sheer luck have shed the label of schizophrenic and come to understand there are skills at my disposal many others would kill for.

I want to extend to you my warmest welcomes, and I will try to send warm, healing and comfort bringing energy your way, as well I will ask mother to send you her Reiki as well. I sincerely hope you feel better soon, and look forward to reading more of your experiences, and if you have not already find someone you are comfortable to talk to about the things you experience, you may not feel like a schizo, but never stop looking for help understanding what ever it is you are faced with. I personally believe many mental disorders are misdiagnosed, and many of them can be worked through with out medication. Good luck, and blessed be.

-Ilyich.

reply to post by Katharos62191


Thanks for showing interest. Those related to travel, some of them were nothing unusual as that's what I was expecting anyway. The ones unusual were about the places I've never been before. It's common, Im not saying im some sort of super power freak as others do have the dreams. Im only saying dreams are definitely worth the research. If Dulce is real as my reason to stay here is to see what's new around all these stories and correspondences of leaders in America about aliens. So if this base is real, even if it weren't such experiments are likely done somewhere, cause it seems to be part of the unrevealed capabilities of human brain. Probably telepathy or the way people think about the same thing at the same time is somehow more than a coincidence.

About war all I'm saying is that I do not usually read about it, about WW3 or such, and therefore having such dream was unrealted which further proves it was not because I am too much into reading about wars or smth like that. I'm not saying I can't talk about it. Like I said I dont remember having so real dreams about cataclysms before or I would've remembered them if they had left strong impression. About this nuclear related dream just like with the other cataclysm dreams, I don't remember feeling any others so real. I felt I could wake up so I woke up before the explosion reached me.

Later I learned that some homeless have stolen a few things from our yard in my villa, to sell metal for money. So these dreams could be simply related to something more earthly happening and not cataclysm. Which again brings to the point - DO we really possess more than we currently know? I was dreaming about it probably around the days this robbery happened without even knowing about it.

Another example: Around my graduation, I had to take some exams. I did not tell anyone because I wanted to deal on my own, not tell my parents, relatives, it was totally my own business. My grandpa had dreamed that I haven't taken some exams and that I was not gonna graduate around that time. - It happened exactly so - ofc I eventually graduated but again, how is this happening, dreams like as if telepathy? I would bet the Dulce base is real and such experiments on dreams and telepathy are real and so are these abilities themselves.

reply to post by SmertSpionam1


SmertSpionam,
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story and to respond!
Honestly, I am happy you said that. I will remember, that nothing hiding itself from me can be good. I do feel if you have to shadow out and completely block who or what you are when visiting me, its probably because I would not like what I saw very much!! Thanks for taking the time to respond. Your statement will stay with me, and most likely bounce through my head when I question those things. As does every statement that actually spoke to me, further helping me!
I thank you again! Hope you come back and read when I post new threads as well!
Have a great day!

reply to post by Katharos62191

But when you say they are in the sky, not moving.. are you just already weeding out the ones that do move, drop, and spread out into clouds that DO actually lower in altitude and DO actually spread out to the point they cover the sky?

Of course he's not

I've seen those with my own eyes. Tell him to prove those pics were taken in 1967....

Cos I for one would love to see the real proof, not circumstantial evidence as they say.

Take care and peace.

Z

reply to post by Katharos62191


Your very welcome!
2nd line because I'm kind.