A Parent's Worst Nightmare Come True: The Death Of My Daughter

Shoulders are for crying on, if I know anything, this community will be there for you. I lost my son in 2000, he was my heart, the light of my life. For two years I was lost. There is no pain like it in the world. You are not alone. It does not get better, it does get less often.

My heart is going out to you.

May you feel the peace, love, and warmth of her spirit, that is so evident in your daughter in her photo, and may it surround you and your heart and bring you comfort.

This will take time, so allow yourself to feel all that you need to feel. I'm so glad that you are courageous enough to share this pain here. It may help someone else, you just never know.

OldCorp, you are a strong man.
Myself, and many others I know, would be either dead or in jail if one of us had to go through what you are going through right now. You, however, are still able to keep your head and not do anything that would cause even more grief.
My condolences for your loss, and the trouble your ex is putting you through.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. Wishing you the strength and courage you need. Hugs!

Bobby...may you be warmed in the coming days of nothing but your fondest memories of your beloved child. May you find ultimate comfort in your dreams - where she WILL be waiting for you.

....you won't be able to make sense of any of this - so allow yourself the time to grieve and come to terms on your own schedule....be kind to yourself even when others are not.

Please know we are ALL mourning your loss and send you our heartfelt condolences as a whole.

Whos

As a parent of 3 wonderfull children I cannot even begin to comprehend what you are going thriough.

Be at peace, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

reply to post by OldCorp

Before I knew she was dead, I was on the phone waiting to speak with the doctor. He had told me the night before that in addition to everything else, they had chilled her body to preserve brain function and that in the morning they would warm her up and repeat the EEG to see if there was any improvement. As I was holding, a girl's voice broke in on the line and said, "Dad." That was all, just "Dad."

That was definitely her, they always signal their loved ones never doubt that! and you have to cherish that moment for ever knowing that she's in that beautiful place.you have to drawn the strength out of that to make you stronger, Because its also her saying to you for fill your purpose here in life.

I wish you all that strength, to pick up the pass you were heading to...good luck

reply to post by OldCorp


Jesus Bob. I don't know what to say.

What a heart wrenching ordeal. It is not natural for a parent to outlive their child.

The guilt. It is like an anchor, a penance, a burden you have to bear. You will struggle under it but bear it you must - it is a part of lifes harsh lesson (if you are cursed with a conscience) we cannot escape our own minds though sometimes we might like to try. Over time...I wish I could say it would get better but it won't ever get easier. It just will stop hurting AS MUCH soon. You are a believer Bob - ask for the Lord to give you some peace. Help keep your heart from breaking. You will get that at least and if you ask I know you WILL get some peace for your troubled heart.

The second guessing and thinking you could have done things differently. I am not sure our entire lives are not preordained. Not sure you could have changed anything.

I have read many NDE's and I believe that only when your wife took her off the life support could she see and finally realize your entire heart, true feelings and great love for her. Before that she was grappling with the human condition and the pain of being flesh and blood - and not a released and free spirit. When her spirit was released to see the wold for what it is, I think only then did she KNOW how much love you had, how much she meant to you all of her life. Nothing your wife can do to conceal the FACT of your undying LOVE from her now, from the free roaming soul of your beautiful little girl. Now she knows Bob.

This helped me to grieve another untimely passing. Listen to the song by Train - Drops of Jupiter...know that she is safe. Slipped the surly bonds of Earth..."back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair." She came from a shooting star. And she IS gonna miss you - while she's looking for (finding) herself out there...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Depack Chopra calls death the Souls Wedding with Eternity.
I know you wanted to be there for her wedding in this life but you will always be there in the background on this earthly plane while she is wedded with God, our source and eternity itself.
We will all get there.
She might have been "special" and God wanted her now. I think that about all the good people that die young. Their lives seemed to shine so brightly and so briefly... for us to admire. The shock of their passing makes us never able to forget them while others longer lived may drift off almost without notice because by then we are so old.
It is only time we have lost. You have not lost your girl though you may not hold her in your arms she is secure and protected in your heart. You will never have to worry about her. She is finally completely safe.

Starchildren - Beautiful post.
Iamschist - So true.

Hi Bob,

So sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say that hasn't already been said on that front.

I was looking at your site, and I came upon the pic of the beheaded girl kind of unwillingly. I would suggest removing that pic since it's on the same page as the post(s) about your daughter (she was also someone's "baby girl").

I also don't think you should air that conversation with family publicly, at least not after the rage subsides. They are the closest thing to your daughter that still walk the Earth.

That's just my two cents so that a horrible situation doesn't grow worse (with remaining family). Stay strong.

reply to post by OldCorp


Mr.Bob I saw and commented on your FEMA Camp thread, so I wont say I know you and you dont know me.
This is reading like a Mel Gibson movie....Keep your head about you. With regard to your daughter, you'll never get better, just different, Memories and dreams

Keep the faith,
Semper Fi
Mike S. USArmy sep,

So sorry to hear of your loss, although nothing can bring any real comfort right now, at least you know you have the support of your ATS family.

We are here 24/7, 365 days, although not simulatneously I might add, but hey at least we can do shifts.

It's an oldie, but a goodie, "time heals"

Be strong, let it out, we are not going anywhere

I read this thread earlier today and
couldn't reply I was so sad. I have
lost 2 sons - one at 4 days and one
12 years old. I know your heart
is breaking - it will get better but
you will never completely be over
it. Birthdays and holidays are
the worse - prepare for that. If
you don't feel like participating
let those around you know that.
Blessings - may your daughter
rest in peace.

Originally posted by OldCorp
He told me that my daughter may have been murdered by TPTB as a warning to get me to stop posting videos.

I would be wary of this friend. He may not be good for your mental health. We have to be careful not to surround ourselves solely with people who could think this way/immerse ourselves exclusively in conspiracy-type media, or we'll all lose it...

reply to post by OldCorp

A Parent's Worst Nightmare Come True

Bob,

Both my boys are around that age. I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. And there are no words that I can find that I feel might comfort you.

So just know that you and your loved ones are in my prayers.

Marc.

reply to post by OldCorp


Much as I feel bad for your situation, I have to say that nothing said here will make any difference. In order for us to make you feel better (which I really think has to come from inside your own heart) you have to be open to what we're going to say. I think you're determined to be miserable, and this is a bid for attention. I am, of course, open to the possibility that I'm wrong...

But that is the impression I am getting. Realize these two things: One, your agonizing won't bring her back. It will never raise her from the dead. You must accept that she is gone, and that you will never speak to her again. Two, you must remember the best times you had with her, and know that she would never have wanted you to let yourself go. She would never have wanted you to tear yourself apart over her death. She wants you to be happy, and to remember her with a smile. How do I know that? Because she was a nice person, wasn't she? And no nice person would ever want your life to be awful because theirs was cut off.

Don't let the end of her life be the end of yours. She wouldn't want it to be like that.

Bob, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Your show is amazing and incredibly informative and we appreciate your efforts more than you probably know. This loss will probably affect a few people on here as we felt closer to you than other members of the site because of your show.

Stay strong my friend. My prayers are with you and your family.

weird that I came into existence EXACTLY 1 month before your daughter's birthday. same day, same year.

Dear Bob

You have my condolences and the real tragedy is not the death of your daughter though you may feel the guilt there was nothing you could do. The real tragedy is that you had so little time with her.

Time does not heal such wounds they just turn to a dull ache that will trouble you from time to time.

Go with God OldCorp

reply to post by OldCorp

Glad to see ATS coming together to offer you a little support in this most difficult time. It was a heart wrenching story Bob, you seem to have had many obstacles in your life through they years. I can offer you nothing more than my heart-felt condolences. She looks like a beautiful and happy girl.

I've lost a few people over the years. Life is a string of moments and at the end all we are left with is memories. She will always be with you in your mind. Cherish the moments.

Much love and strength Bob.

Bob I don't know you as well as most since I'm new here, but I led a loss support group for a few years and there are a few tips that seem to help.

Talk about her. People will be afraid to bring her up, so you will need to be the one in most cases. Share those memories and celebrate the time and memories you all had with her.

Keep a private journal of your thoughts. It helps to do this at night near bedtime as the body wants sleep after an emotional release.

Sleep. Lack of sleep can make the depression much more severe and have adverse health effects. Get some chemical help from your Dr if you can't sleep, it's very important.

Eat right. Your body has been through a shock, so proper nutrition is also very important. If your appetite is gone eat things that aren't full of simple sugars as you will peak and trough on candy bars and most snack foods.

The next year will be the hardest as you experience special days without her, so think of ways to honor your daughter on days that were special to her.

One family I worked with always went mini golfing on the birthday of their child since that was her favorite family activity. Another eats at their childs favorite pizza place on her birrthday every year.


It's going to be a tough time but you have another great support system here at ATS, don't hesitate to use it.

reply to post by OldCorp


Well brother, I pray for the Lords understanding to come to you and that his love holds you. I know you through your videos and that alone can only tell me so much. But your blog has told me of the amount of love and dedication that you have had to rely on in your life and it sounds like you are tapping into it at the source, Christ. Ashley, looks as if she was a very lovely girl in a way that would have shown through in her personality. Since my words alone may not suffice to bring comfort, I must state that my intent, that this message be recived with the love that it was sent, and acts as a mile marker in the path of your personal faith, as if to say hold strong good things are coming for you. May her impact on your life be one that keeps your heart full of love and your hope ever strong.

Your brother in Christ.