Christianity, is it child emotional abuse?

As a child I can remember being forced to wear clothes that choked me, so I could sit (quietly) and listen to a man rant about fire and brimstone. About how we are all sinners doomed to hell. Then he would pass around a plate, and my parents would PAY for this. I soon learned to block the preaching out so I would not allow myself to feel damned and worthless.

However, I have other friends that also had the wonderful experience of forced confession (remember we are talking about children here), it does not take a lot to make a child feel forced. Certainly a man dressed in fancy robes, standing on a pulpit 9ft above you and screaming damnation could cause a child to feel forced.

Many I know would, as children, invent things to confess.....simply out of fear of what would happen if they had nothing to confess.

Years later while attending a LE academy, we covered the emotional abuse section of the child abuse subject. From that education, it really appears that my (and others) childhood experience with christianity seriously borderlines (if it isn't actually) emotional abuse.

Just curious to know how many others out there have this same viewpoint.

reply to post by vogon42


If it involved corporeal punishment, shame mockery or ridicule - yes it is.
That is just my personal feeling and that could be true of anything - Christianity included.

Short answer yes.

Longer answer: Yes, if the faction of believers are more concerned with sin and punishment rather than teaching their children to be loving and kind.

Children should learn how to be loving, caring, considerate etc. rather than learning to fear.

A god you need to fear has no value as a role model.
I guess that rules out Catholics.

reply to post by vogon42


Sounds like you were never in a Spirit-filled church growing up.

all religeon or spirituality taps into the very most basic part of the human mind, a part of the mind that evrey one has even if your not spiritual you still got it. here is a diagram that shows the filters.

The way our brains work is that it speaks its own language no ones knows what language and evrey one elses is diffrent hence why we all think and act diffrently but for this post we just call it "brain language":

before we try to engage in speach we think of what to say in english with our "brain language" and in the rpocess of turning it into english we go through these filters

once we have put what we want to say through them filters we say it

when your brain decides to share a thought vocally your brain first evaluates all those things before it even comes out your mouth. You can see spirituality is at the top and that is becuase when anyone speaks there mind automatically thinks "does this go agianst what i belive" and this is the reason religeon is such a hot debated topic is becuase of this. now i reckon that the reason that so many people are religeous is becuase there parents made them go to church or temple or mosque it been programmed into our brains as young or almost brainswashed since it plays on the very basic way we think and speak.

if that post makes sense

reply to post by vogon42


When the church started to replace faith with fear, it became a dangerous environment to raise hamsters, let alone children trying to learn how to love and be good to one another.

"I am greatly troubled by what you say. I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' & 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, & it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to this day I cherish an unappeased bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was 15 years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean sweet breath again on this side of the grave." - Mark Twain.

Mark Twain doesnt sound too happy about being compelled to learn about christianity at a young age. I agree with him. You should learn about religion when you are old enough to understand it.

I remember being troubled by the idea of hell amongst other things. Religion can be pretty scary stuff. Worse than any horror movie. It can traumatize children for sure.

Originally posted by definity

... it been programmed into our brains as young or almost brainswashed since it plays on the very basic way we think and speak.

if that post makes sense

Yes, it does make sense (although the graphic you link to is dated 1979...that's a bit before my academy training)

Some people I've meet religion is so in control of their lives brainwashing is (maybe not EXACTLY), but very close to the correct description. Or, at least thats what I see living in the "bible belt" of the USA.

No, christianity isn't abuse at all. It's up to each person how they teach it.

Originally posted by Ambrose169
No, christianity isn't abuse at all. It's up to each person how they teach it.

OK, I'm not going to disagree with you, but I feel that MANY (not all) do seem to teach it incorrectly.

Incorrectly of course meaning "in a way that could be traumatic to children"

Originally posted by vogon42

Originally posted by Ambrose169
No, christianity isn't abuse at all. It's up to each person how they teach it.

OK, I'm not going to disagree with you, but I feel that MANY (not all) do seem to teach it incorrectly.

Oh yes, I agree with that. All I'm saying is that that is the issue, not the religion itself.

reply to post by Cuervo

When the church started to replace faith with fear, it became a dangerous environment to raise hamsters, let alone children trying to learn how to love and be good to one another.

Exactly. You know, the funny thing is, when I explained to my mom how the church made me feel bad about myself (note the OP, mine was a similar Protestant upbringing) she was thunderstruck.

She exclaimed "No! That's not what it teaches! It teaches us to love and be forgiving and humble."

I said, "Well, it taught me to feel like a piece of crap who couldn't get it right, ever. That's why I quit going."

So, perhaps things are changing just every-so-slightly, if it is more widespread now that people find organized religion to be more about control and very little about kindness, acceptance, tolerance, and love.

My mom has since left the church herself, after much self-study and research and thought. My own kids were exposed to church and a variety of different options and faiths. They are left to choose what they want to align themselves with. I didn't see it my place to "pigeon-hole" them into any "team" of spiritual believers, especially when I myself had defected long ago.

Whatever my mother's faith that it would help me and my brothers (and she honestly thought it was uplifting -- and never thumped the Bible at us, or threatened us with hell), my own awareness only enforced that I would not put my own through any such thing. I guess "saving grace" is in the ear of the listener.

It's abuse in the same sense making them clean their rooms and eat broccoli is. People who don't like broccoli may call it that.

Originally posted by 547000
It's abuse in the same sense making them clean their rooms and eat broccoli is. People who don't like broccoli may call it that.

I've never seen broccoli threaten a 5 year old with an everlasting fire full of gnashing teeth and agony before.

reply to post by theovermensch

Mark Twain doesnt sound too happy about being compelled to learn about christianity at a young age. I agree with him. You should learn about religion when you are old enough to understand it.

Have you ever read his book "Letters from the Earth"? It's a must-read, and shows exactly how Twain saw religion. It's a collection of "letters" written by Satan while he is visiting earth, to his pals Michael and Gabriel. Hilarious!! Another part of the book is "The Adam Papers", which is a sort of biographical look at the family of Adam. Twain was by NO MEANS a subscriber to organized religion.

I highly, highly recommend it to anyone interested in his philosophies on life.
Free to read online, Letters from the Earth

reply to post by 547000


Wow....I hope you don't have children.....or maybe you don't understand. This is about the way religion is taught, and its effects on children. (if your church is not that way wonderful!....but this is not about your church)

A parents duty is to protect his child and raise him right. What will you do if your child goes to hell because of your inability to give him any discomfort? What if your child grows to become a 300 pound third grader because you abused him by not making him eat the right things because he doesn't like how they taste?

Originally posted by NOTurTypical
reply to post by vogon42

 

Sounds like you were never in a Spirit-filled church growing up.

Amen and Amen.
Two things that made me run from, not just leave a congregation is #1 begging for money from the pulpit, spirit lead giving is the only option based on scripture
#2: preaching fire and brimstone as a default method.
Scripture is clear that NOBODY is saved from fear, only love.
Get that everyone? Nobody ever, ever, ever was saved out of fear.
It is a tool of the enemy.
Anyone who was ever lead into the Kingdom got there out of understanding that our Father in Heaven loves us and first loved us before we loved Him. He went to the greatest extremes for us, out of His love He has for us.
If you were scared into the kingdom you lie!

So for those that pretend that is the case whether you are a believer or non-believer, I agree with scripture it is a lie and anyone who claims it is a truth is a liar.. It is impossible to be scared into the Kingdom.

Our love for Him is based upon this foundation..."He first loved us"

reply to post by definity


No, I personally came to know the Lord at 34 years of age. 20 years ago.
I had to battle through all those years of media and public school indoctrination to settle my mind in faith. I was inundated with all those years of programming and brainwashing leading me away from His love.
It was His love for me that allowed me to endure in sanctification and deprogramming to know Him intimately.

Children most definately need to be taught His love, the earlier the better. Anything less is child abuse.
An example would simply be in how a mother would teach her child about the love of the childs father who has been and is away at war.
Would she teach the child about the horrors of war, or the fathers love?
It would be wise and prudent to teach a child in the ways a child thinks and teach the adult things to an adult with a mature mind. But to pretend the childs father does not exist until it is older is most definately, child abuse.

Originally posted by 547000
A parents duty is to protect his child and raise him right. What will you do if your child goes to hell because of your inability to give him any discomfort? ...

Seriously....you see nothing wrong with punishing your child for something he/she did NOT do?

What YOU call religion, others would call sadistic. (and law enforcement would classify as abuse)

you remind me of a case where a mother burned her daughter with a cigarette to "teach" her that life is painful.