What would you do if you catch her(him) in bed with another?

Yes,you come home unexpectedly from your delegation,(you forget to call before),in the middle of the night,and in the bedroom there she(he)is,in bed with another person!

Your first reaction will be to:

-'Sorry for interrupting you!'

-'I should call before!'

-Take a bottle of booze and get yourself drunk!

-Get out of the house and never come back.

-Make them a coffee,while they are dressing!

-You lay on the edge of the bed and you put your hands in your head.

And the list could continue.

What would be your first reaction?

Please,give decent answers,use civilized and appropriate language!

This actually happened to me. She is my ex. I went crazy, walked out and took a long walk and in my mind a very long journey. I came back, told her I was filing and left.

In my instance, it was with several people (yes men and women). I got off of work a couple hours early.

I can tell you that for a very long time, I thought of women as only good for a few things and being used for sex was one of them. Thankfully that mindset is gone, and it kept me from actually going out and trying to get some (thankfully porn was on the net, free, and didn't hurt my feelings. Plus I had a mute button )

She didn't even fight the divorce or try to come up with any stories. Here I was constantly horny, wanting her almost all the time, and it turns out she was getting "taken care of" by some other people.

And another thing, I would have been into swinging at that point in my life too.

reply to post by calnorak

TextShe didn't even fight the divorce or try to come up with any stories

I am sorry she didn't fight for your marriage,giving up without a fight,it's a proof of the absence of the feelings.

find another boyfriend/girlfriend just like all the other american "sheeple" and breed. because thats what the government is telling you to do. people can't fuse together and become one, it just doesn't work that way. we are all individuals that should live individual lives.

Cheating is the absolute lowest someone could go in a relationship (aside from murder or genital mutilation).

It shows a complete lack of respect for the other person, and such a lack of respect could not exist if you loved the person.

I wouldn't see it as "I am in bed with another man", I would see it as "I don't love you anymore".

And SHE would be leaving, not me.

Originally posted by Adyta
Cheating is the absolute lowest someone could go in a relationship (aside from murder or genital mutilation).

It shows a complete lack of respect for the other person, and such a lack of respect could not exist if you loved the person.

I wouldn't see it as "I am in bed with another man", I would see it as "I don't love you anymore".

And SHE would be leaving, not me.

This 'lack of respect',is very common now days,you never know who is the person,that you live with!

Originally posted by Rekrul
find another boyfriend/girlfriend just like all the other american "sheeple" and breed. because thats what the government is telling you to do. people can't fuse together and become one, it just doesn't work that way. we are all individuals that should live individual lives.

The absence of feelings,it's worst then the absence of water!

Originally posted by diamondsmith
Yes,you come home unexpectedly from your delegation,(you forget to call before),in the middle of the night,and in the bedroom there she(he)is,in bed with another person!

Your first reaction will be to:

Make sure they both see me. Silently turn around and walk out of the room. Take a long walk and return home after about an hour. Listen to all the pleading.

That's what I would (and did) do. All the while preserving my own dignity, even though theirs was destroyed.

reply to post by Iamonlyhuman

TextMake sure they both see me. Silently turn around and walk out of the room. Take a long walk and return home after about an hour. Listen to all the pleading.

That's what I call a positive and a constructive attitude,good for you!

Things like that worry me...

I have a very short temper but i'm an easy going person.

I think I would see red, reach for the nearest hard object and....

Cheating is a horrible and soul destroying act of betrayal.

Originally posted by SilentE
Things like that worry me...

I have a very short temper but i'm an easy going person.

I think I would see red, reach for the nearest hard object and....

Cheating is a horrible and soul destroying act of betrayal.

Yes,cheating is horrible,but violence is more horrible,with calm problems can be solved out!

Originally posted by diamondsmith
reply to post by Iamonlyhuman

 

TextMake sure they both see me. Silently turn around and walk out of the room. Take a long walk and return home after about an hour. Listen to all the pleading.

That's what I call a positive and a constructive attitude,good for you!

Well, I don't know how constructive it was but I do know that both of them will never forget it. That happened 25 years ago and, after about 20 years, they both (separately) came to me again asking for forgiveness. I had long ago let it go and forgiven them for my sanity. The woman had been my best friend at the time. They had lived with that day in and day out haunting them because I had not given them something to be angry with me about. It was all on them.

Revenge is best served cold.

reply to post by Adyta


This Knight of the Round Table opinion tells me you are young. When I was young I also rushed to make categorical judgments. However with the age you will find that the things are a little bit more complicated in real life. The mistakes are sometimes made. They hurt no doubt about it. But they can also be amended in some cases.

Originally posted by Rekrul
find another boyfriend/girlfriend just like all the other american "sheeple" and breed. because thats what the government is telling you to do. people can't fuse together and become one, it just doesn't work that way. we are all individuals that should live individual lives.

...maybe.


Im a bit of a perv when it comes to my day to day routine, if a sexy girl - in fact if any girl which is the slightest bit pretty walks past me, i'll look at that booty, no doubt.

When im driving, i'll be like - Im sure i know that girl!
Or, im sure she went to my school..Or worked with her before (looking at her ass)

When i go out, i'll flirt a little bit, but never to the extent where it gets to contact, and i 100% make sure that the girl knows i have a partner.

I have my fun, and i enjoy it - i know my own boundaries. I'v been happy in my relationship for 7 years, just had a baby at the beginning of this year too. We're a young couple, im 24 and are lass is 23.

I did used to find it hard to keep faithful, I'm an attractive male and my women is beautiful, we both get attention when out. We understand that we're very happy together, not only that but we understand each other. I like looking at girls asses, and she knows this. Are lass enjoys the odd look at another male but her taste is very weird and i still dont understand it lol.

If a person feels the need to cheat in their relationship, and you cant work it out, end the relationship as it will torturer your other half and nobody deserve to be cheated on. As for people like me, who was sex crazy for over 3 years wanting it everyday, i talked to my women and she wanted to do the things i wanted, same applies with things she wanted, i tried most things for her and vica verca, gradually coming to an equal balance of whom gets what and how we do it for the best etc.

People cheat because of many factors, but one big one is physical attraction, which yes it is hard to fight it but gets easier when you deal with what you want at home, with your own partner. You can both adapt the things you wnat because you've known each other for long, and are in a relationship at the end of the day. . ##snip## doesn't feel any different(ok maybe in some cases), its just the initial experience which another person can give you. . if you enjoy this type of random experience then fine yeah, relationships aint for you

If you dont want to talk to your women, or listen to what she wants, then yeah i suppose your not meant for a relationship and need to live your life more until you understand the above.



And as for walking in on my partner. . Id think she'd at least have the decency not to ##snip## in my bed. .

If you gets angry and confrontational, the two in bed start defending your attack.
If you remain silent and smile, they are left to to battle their own demons.

This unfortunate scenario has happened to me before and it changed my life. I am a better person now and I would never hate my ex for being the catalyst.

Sometimes rising above a situation results in exactly that

reply to post by Iamonlyhuman

TextThe woman had been my best friend at the time. They had lived with that day in and day out haunting them because I had not given them something to be angry with me about. It was all on them.

This is the biggest punishment they can get ,the absence of the words.

reply to post by diamondsmith


Ofcourse, calm is definitly the best way but it's very easy to say that.

Not everyone would be able to deal with a situation like walking in on the person you love and then calmly say, ''lets talk about this.''

Cheating is what you tell the person you're with that they did because you want to hold them down like you own him or her.

If you really love someone then you should let them do what makes them feel good.
If you feel the urge to "cheat" then you probably shouldn't be in a traditional relationship where we are told that doing so is a bad thing because you are going to hurt someone based on the level of brainwashing they have been subjected to to believe that you are owned and that you own another human being who you can forbid from doing what he or she wants to do.

I dont see what the big deal is here.

TextIf you gets angry and confrontational, the two in bed start defending your attack. If you remain silent and smile, they are left to to battle their own demons.

reply to post by dyllels
The weapons to defend yourself,are sometimes above the immorality,of the two persons you catch in your bed!

reply to post by Fishticon84


I agree. I was just on a similar thread and said this--

The reason that we want our partners to be faithful is because we are insecure and jealous. If your partner hooked up with an attractive member of the opposite sex you should be happy for them. Why wouldnt you be? See that is pure love. Unrequited love.

It works if you are in love or not but especially when you are in love. People have desires. We should act on them. We should encourage our partners to act on their desires.