Paying the rent? 50/50?

reply to post by Merigold


Like I said before, I can't do it for now... I guess times have changed you'll never know. Having such a mother in law on her (and my lol) back it's hard...

reply to post by Dalbeck

If you have to ask, then you already know the answer bro.

This story is ages old, and everybody knows its beginning, it's middle, and it's end. Ask yourself some questions....If you did not have the money, or could not afford to pay this rent?...Do you see your girlfriend sticking with you? Or would she even say two words to you, if you were not who you are now?


Really this is something you should be talking to her about, and tell her mother to bugger off and that it's your life and your finances and you will do it them what you want, and that your plans might in the end be totally different then her, or her daughters plans.

For people change, oh yes you would be surprised how fast some people will change under the right circumstances.

But I will tell you this because everybody know it already...All love is bought, even if it is not always bought with money, and when it comes to females, most wont say two words to you unless there sure you have "finances" or going places that they want to be at. But ya it, and everybody has there price even if that price is not a paper price. And for some its just simple and obvious what they want, or why.

Really like I said this is something you should be talking to your girlfriend about, and asking her what the hell she wants. "Communication" I do believe it's called, some even say that it's important in relationships, try it and see if it works, if not....oh wellzzzz, all things eventually come to an end.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by Dalbeck

 

..If you did not have the money, or could not afford to pay this rent?...Do you see your girlfriend sticking with you? Or would she even say two words to you, if you were not who you are now?

Hey thanks a lot for your kind words!

So my (hopefully) last update on this story:

I joined up with her just yesterday in a café and we got to talk really calmly and it was all good. I said to her to pleeease let her mother out of our business and she was also fine with my 60%/40% idea.

We will pay the rent seperated BUT we will also open a new account at another credit bank than her mother is working at and pool our reserve assets for everything household related. Today we will buy our first shared kitchen

Thank you guys again for your pieces of advice, I love you!!!

reply to post by Dalbeck

All's well that end well, I suppose. See told you communication works, well at least in most cases. And everybody has there different particulars. Trying to emulate others and what worked for them. Really is kind of a hit and miss, mostly miss attempt.

But anyways (hopefully) this will be the last update, because this stuff though I read it for some strange reason, it gives me headaches.

Peace out dude.

Glad you got the Mother in Law out of the equation (and if I were you, I'd move ALL of my assets to a bank she didn't work at)... She simply has NO say in this whole matter, and I'm glad you both realized this.

That kind of invasion of privacy though, is simply inexcusable, and she's lucky you don't report her to management.

It's one thing to snoop, but when she all but confirms she's done it, in front of you...too far. She should count herself lucky.

Originally posted by Dalbeck
reply to post by spacedoubt

 

You're right about it and I'm willing to pay more for the rent, but you know, her mother's idea to take our salaries as a basis is utter bull**** to me, sorry. I'm definitely not willing to pay that kind of rent 1.) just because her mother wants to impose how much I have to pay and 2.) the rate of my gf's part of the rent would be so damn low that she couldn't even afford a one-room-apartment alone.

There has to be any solution but my ML's idea is definitely absurd.

Well I am going to give you some words of wisdom, because I was baptized by fire.

First off you think that your GF's mother shouldn't be involved, but when you marry or live with the daughter, you'll marry and live with the family, 100% of the time, unless their family lives in another state. A man that thinks he has put his foot down with a meddling mother, or mother-in-law has only further polarized an already emotional situation.

Moving in with the opposite sex and living with them after time denotes a contract, by law. Marriages are contracts also it takes two to marry, but only one to end it, with that being said all the legalities still remain after the split, and it can be very costly.

My personal recommendation is have separate residences if you have any doubts whatsoever, going into a already rocky situation will most likely only get worse, but if you chose to live together expect that it will change, women want to be taken care of, it is in their make-up, and I am not talking about Avon or Cover-girl. Women need to feel secure and it doesn't matter what position they have or job they hold.

It already appears you have issues paying for more than 50% of the rent, so with that being said, you really need to look hard at the entire situation.

I wish you the best of luck. I am sure you'll be fine whatever the outcome is.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


reply to post by Gazrok


reply to post by Realtruth


Thank you guys for your kind words, it's really appreciated!!!

Just a little update: So my gf and me came to an (financial) agreement last week and I sent an e-mail to our realtor we would like to sign the lease contract of an apartment we chose and one day later I got a call by him and he told me we are too late (just one day ).... He was an a**h**e.... really.... I told him to call me if there are other people interested in this particular apartment and he agreed but didn't do so...

Sooo.. After all the stress we've been through and coming to an agreement we were really upset.

Today's a whole new start with another realtor and we have to start all over again... (other lease costs, district of town etc...)... Three apartments for today. hopefully we find something that fits our current situation

reply to post by Dalbeck


Keep your money separate...you have your bank account (which you only have access to) and she has hers.

Split the bills right down the middle 50/50.......and have receipts for everything.

You both have an income...so you both should pay. Don't let her talk you into paying for everything...just because she is a woman...nor do not allow (your intimate moments) to have any influence on you either.....many women will use sex to get their way.....be wise...see through that and don't allow yourself to be used.

If she won't pay her fair share...then....maybe she should get her own place...and you 2 should live separately.

reply to post by silent thunder


that is captn save a hoe talk sir.