Paying the rent? 50/50?

Hi everyone,

I just want to have some more opinions on the topic in the title.

Living together with someone Is it okay to split the rent half half for an apartment or would you say it should be divided percental because one partner has more income than the other one?

- Dal

(P.S.: Just had the discussion with my girlfriend and it's becoming more an argument than a discussion anymore, that's why I posted it in this forum)

Depends on how you do things,

As a rule i have always felt niether one should have limitations and both people should share there money.

so... essentially 50/50

why dont you set up a joint account...

put 200/300/400 whatever into the joint account and use that for all your bills.. essentially this should keep all the arguments of who uses what from occuring...

like say you pay for (im going to be generic, i dont want flamed off folk...) a larger bill on the TV for sport, but she uses more electricity with hair dryers/straightners etc. this would then even out too, then anything left after all the bills are paid works like a savings account sitting there...

If she is struggling to afford food or gas or other essentials I would rather offer to help her out in those areas.. why mess with rent agreement.

Be careful my friend, dont let money become an issue..also helping someone else out if you are making a little extra income would be a really nice thing to do, as well.. im sure they would be motivated to return the favor in the future indeed.

I'd say it really depends upon whether you're doing this in a combining assets, but not going so far as a joint bank account thing or not. If it is that way, then a ratio is more fitting because that's the way things actually work most of the time.

I'd also say this: I see time and time again that generally both parties work, but one winds up doing the bulk of household chores. The person doing that deserves to pay less rent because their overall contribution to the household is made up by doing the bulk of the chores.

reply to post by Dalbeck


She's not your room mate. She's your girlfriend. If she cannot afford to go 50/50 you let her pay what she can. Do you share the chores 50/50 ? I know it's not 50/50 in the bedroom because men are faster than women so if she is willing for forgo her own pleasure for you , why can't you return the favor ?

I can't believe you have to ask these things.

reply to post by Dalbeck


Hello Dalbeck.

So she is your girlfriend right.
I am sorry to say this, but if you cant go with the thought of paying everything just because you love her, why are you even together? The worst thing you can do is to start a dispute over money...
If she is having problem with money, sort it out for her without any second thoughts. And if you feel wrong about that, well, then it does not sound like a loving relationship to me.
What is money compared to having a partner that you love?

I do wish you the best of luck in solving this situation.

LS



(Or perhaps you mean that you talked with your girlfriend about this issue to get advice, and the fact that you live with someone else than your girlfriend? In that case measure the personal space each one of you use in the apartment and do a rent percentage according to that, and then split the incoming bills. If your girlfriend aggressively argues for not having to pay anything, that could also be a sign... Since she also should want to do as much as possible for you)

Interesting topic.

I'm a man, lets just put that out there. I've gone the 50/50 route and its worked the best. I slacked a little and told the women, pay what you can but that always leads to excuses of why they can't afford so and so. I've also encountered women that once you date them and they move in, their job gets lost. I'm a nice guy, its my biggest fault. So I say something to the regards of "keep looking for a job and ill pay the bills in the mean time". Then they never get a job till I break up with them.

I know what you're thinking. My opinion is jaded due to past experiences. Wrong, I did the same thing with the next girl!

50/50 or you'll get taken advantage of. Period.

Side note, he/she shouldn't pay 50/50 for your house, car or anything you're going to leave the relationship with. Day to day bills he/she should definately pay 50/50 of.

my wife and i come to an agreement.all money is one hundred percent ours.find your best friend for a mate,not the best lover.mr winky wont stay up forever but a great friendship will.on my second marriage.had to learn the hard way.there is no fifty fifty with best friends.only love and patience.

This is the way "I did it"..

My GF at the time would pay the utilities (electricity, phone, internet, tv) and I would pay the rent and most of the food.

This is what actually happened; I payed the rent on time and she blew the money for the utilities on her hair and other junk.
Now because I stupidly put the utilities under my name, I'm way in debt and she's gone and accused me of being a dead-beat who cant afford to pay ALL of the things.

It would have been 50/50 either way we cut it. So the moral of the story is... Get the money from her first and YOU make the payments.
Do it 50/50 if you wish but be very careful because you might end up having to pay ALL of it later on.

reply to post by robomont


A very good friend of mine ones told me that; in the lifetime of a friendship, everything evens out in the end.
I think that goes for a serious relationship as well, since as you said, friendship should be the foundation of that as well.

Personally being the independent being that I am. With every girl I have lived with we have always split the rent 50/50......

In fact, every girl I have ever lived with has insisted on paying half the rent....

Why move into a property if you cannot afford your half of the rent?

Wow guys, thanks a lot for all your statements, I appeciate it!!!

Um, let me give you a little bit more info on my/ our background.

So I'm with her for 7 years now (please no judging why we decided to move together after that long time, there were reasons like family issues and our jobs) and my income is as much again her income.

Problem is (in my opinion): her mother. She is working in a good position of a credit bank where my bank account is sitting so I'm guessing she already knows about my financial situation to the last penny.

Of course parents always want the best for their children so she was talking to me some days ago about her daughter with me and she was like "Um, you know you earn a lot more many than her, so I think it's only fair for you both to divide the rent per percents." (besides in my opinion it's a sass that she obviously looks into my bank account(s) but that's another story ).

I didn't even know what to say to her (and I'm always a nice guy and the last one you couldn't talk to if there are any problems....).

I think it's a thing between my gf and me and not me and her mother but the problem is she (my gf) still does/ listens to a LOT what her mum tells her (to do/ not to do).

Originally posted by litterbaux
Interesting topic.

I'm a man, lets just put that out there. I've gone the 50/50 route and its worked the best. I slacked a little and told the women, pay what you can but that always leads to excuses of why they can't afford so and so. I've also encountered women that once you date them and they move in, their job gets lost. I'm a nice guy, its my biggest fault. So I say something to the regards of "keep looking for a job and ill pay the bills in the mean time". Then they never get a job till I break up with them.

I know what you're thinking. My opinion is jaded due to past experiences. Wrong, I did the same thing with the next girl!

50/50 or you'll get taken advantage of. Period.

Side note, he/she shouldn't pay 50/50 for your house, car or anything you're going to leave the relationship with. Day to day bills he/she should definately pay 50/50 of.

This guy has it right. Don't think your girlfriend is gonna be so innocent if you start paying for all her things, you might just get taken advantage of. It is not a case of "Women are after your wallet, bla bla bla" it's a case of simple human behaviour.

I won't be surprised if internet white-knights start coming on here to say that women aren't like that..

reply to post by Dalbeck


Hmm sounds like you are suffering from the classic situation of a "psychotic" mother in law...
To me, something like that would be a big warning sign of what possible madness to come in the future.
She is obviously taking advantage of her position in the bank, and if she is secretly looking at your account, you should take that up with her superiors. If then she and her daughter gets mad at you, well so be it.
You have your rights, and some people are just not good to have around.

Splitting per income percentage seems most fair.

And....How important is your girlfriend to you? How much do you want her to live with you? Because everytime you have this argument, it says to a woman that those extra $25 or whatever are more important than she is. edit: 7 years is a long time, I guess she hangs around anyway.

edit: just saw your response & see you are the one with the big income...

Originally posted by ovumcranium
Splitting per income percentage seems most fair.

And....How important is your girlfriend to you? How much do you want her to live with you? Because everytime you have this argument, it says to a woman that those extra $25 or whatever are more important than she is. Expecially if you are the one who makes a lot more money than she does.

Not real encouraged about your long-term.

To be honest the idea for moving together was initiated by my gf, I'm fine with our current situation (living in different apartments; we spend every Wednesday and the weekends together) and I'm also fine with moving together even though it was not my initial idea.

But: it's really hard for me to comprehend why I should pay more just because I have better paid job. 25$ (okay € where I live ) would not be a problem - not at all, but I think she is about a 40%/ 60% situation (which is about ~150 €/ month more for me to pay for the rent, just do the math for one year...).

I love her wihtout a doubt and I don't want the "lovely" money to be such a big issue for our future buuuut: I had to put A LOT of effort(s) into getting the job I have and being in the (fortunate) position I'm in now and I can tell you it's not by chance.

I think it's open for her to get a better job OR for her mum, if she doensn't want her daughter to "suffer from less money", to give her daughter some money.

Bottom line: I love her, but do I have to "suffer" just because I have a better paid job than her?

My solution at the moment would be: Talking to my gf, without her parents (esp. her mum) of course, propose the 50/50 thing, and IF my gf is badly off and can't afford some pairs of new jeans, I of course am willing to get her the clothes.

Men should pay 100% or they will regret it down the line.

My opinion only. Your milage may vary.

reply to post by silent thunder


If men should pay 100% then women should not work at a job but instead stay at home and do choirs and stuff all day.
Otherwise what's the point? No matter where you live or who you live with, you always have to pull your weight.

I am against that a person should be forced to give away money for anything, just because that person have allot of it. In my opinion no one has the right to force hard earned money of of anyone else.
But, as I said in posts here before, people should give away money because they care and want to help.

Dalbeck, it sounds like your girlfriend is the democratic tax collector/government and you are the entrepreneur having to pay up

Originally posted by LiberalSceptic
I am against that a person should be forced to give away money for anything, just because that person have allot of it. In my opinion no one has the right to force hard earned money of of anyone else.
But, as I said in posts here before, people should give away money because they care and want to help.

Dalbeck, it sounds like your girlfriend is the democratic tax collector/government and you are the entrepreneur having to pay up

Thanks for your input.

Hehe yes it's really almost the same (and in fact I am working for the government so it should be even way around )

On a more serious note, I think it's not even my gf, it's the idea and the way of thinking of my mother in law. And my gf is still listening to her a lot... that's the problem....