Twin Flames and how I found mine.

Met mine, but we ended it tonight. Sucks...

reply to post by Subconsciously Correct

Good luck with that. (I mean that in a nice way) If they really are your twin. There is no "end".

great thread star and flag from me!!

This is very hard for me to read - I don't know what to think of it. Please read my brief story and help me to understand.

In middle school, I was acquainted with a girl through my girlfriend but nothing grew right away. A couple summers later, we spent countless hours on the phone just talking. That same summer, she started dating my best friend and we started fighting.

A couple years later, they had broken up once, but she was dating my friend again, and we were being cordial, catching up. Unfortunately I discovered my friend was cheating and I sold him out. While she was hurting, I did my best to be a good friend and we became great friends actually.

As I went to college, I called her and said goodbye. She said almost nothing, but something inaudible sounded like she was breaking, like someone had just stabbed her. That one semester was the hardest I had ever had. I was constantly anxious, and something pressed me to drive and write endlessly. At some point I discovered it was because of my emotions for my friend, but try as I might she wouldn't go out with me.

We started fighting again and it ended very badly. I joined the military to try and run away, but almost 5 years later, she showed up again, wanted to repair her relationship with my then wife. After helping them rebuild for 2 years, I was joking (flirting) with my friend and I accidentally broke her walls. We had an emotional affair for a few months, but she ended it because I was unable to share the same emotions with my wife.

Somehow, we managed to be just friends again, but last year everything fell apart again. We spent hours on the phone, and one time she called me out on my fear that "we" would never happen, but told me it was just a matter of time. Flirting again, I told her one time that some day I wanted to buy her a ring. Hours after that conversation, she sends me a text message saying, "I already wear one for you." and she instantly stole my breath.

Shortly after that, her grandfather died, and her son had his second birthday and she pulled away. The whole experience tore me to pieces and has shown me all of my greatest fears. In our history, she has said some very cruel things, and some terribly sweet ones, and while I was struggling with her changes I asked her if any of this was real, but she refused to answer me.

Back in college, she killed one of my greatest dreams, and last year she brought it back to life, and I am unable to find contentment with my current relationship. I have tried, I even removed my "friend" from every contact I have, but even without her around, noone can shine as bright.

What are the questions I should be asking? What are the answers? I fail to believe that so many of our collisions occur by accident. Because she is friends with my wife, and I seem to be the problem here, I would leave and let them be friends, but I am still so confused. I am afraid that I have to leave the life and family I have built, but in the same breath, my friend inspires my higher self and I am hungry for that feeling. I have tried to find the same feelings with my family, but they don't exist. Is this my trial? In order to be happy, must I really give up my base?


Edit:
I forgot to mention just how much this whole experience has hurt me. I've never cried so much in my life. First, having to leave my friend to try and be true to my wife, and now to be away from someone who understands me, fights with me, who has shared their dreams with me. It's been a year since I walked away from my friend and it still hurts. We bump into each other every few months but there's nothing to say, and even if there was, I feel chained to the floor and lose my breath.

reply to post by obnoxiouschick


Your words match these feelings I've been struggling to accept. How are you now? Do you write or make some other art?

reply to post by RisenAngel77


You're kidding right? She's in a relationship and you still went ahead and tried to coax her out of it? Doesn't really sound like you respect the girl much to cause her that pain of trying to bring down her castle. I could see it possibly if you two had something together beforehand but the fact is that you met this girl online and all from "intuition" that led you to a site. That leads to my first problem with this. If you're meant to meet this person, it'll most likely be through coincidence. Like she's from Seattle and you're from Miami and somehow you're both in Atlanta on the same weekend and she drops something and you happen to be walking by and pick it up for her. Not ohhhh, i've been searching for 12 years, something tells me she might be hanging out on craigslist.

I do believe in twin flames although I think the name is retarded as all hell. The thing is though that most stuff I've read about it just sounds like a bunch of new age ridiculousness so I wouldn't really trust much you read, especially from a blog. The thing that is concerning though is the fact that you've been "searching" for this other half of you for 12 years now. That leads me to believe that you're just trying to attach that label onto anyone that matches what you believe your twin flame would be and somewhat resembles the sketchy memory of that dream you had so long ago. A dream that most likely by now doesn't even resemble the actual one you had. One that's been imprinted with all your emotions and ideas that you've attached to it is more likely what it resembles now.

I think you should consider yourself lucky that this communication between you two is only online. I'm sure her bf wouldn't be too happy to find out some creeper with a fantasy is trying to snatch his girl.

ETA: I really don't mean to sound like a jerk but from what I read, that's what I gathered. Believe me, I opened this wanting to read about some great story of how you met your other half but this just sounds like a lot of wishful thinking mixed with assholish behavior with no regard for anyone but yourself so you can live out your fantasy. Added to the fact that I know what it's like to have guys trying to snatch your girl behind your back... it's just one of those things that I have a problem with. Maybe if you added some of these great experiences you've supposedly had you could sway my opinion but I don't have time to go through 12 pages right now. Regardless, trying to break up her current relationship is really not cool at all. It's not just her "castle" you're trying to destroy but the dude's too.

reply to post by LCValentine

Sounds like the whole relationship is difficult for you to deal with. From the stuff I've been reading it seems a lot of "near" twin relationships are intense and deal with a lot of karma. You would experience specific things with a twin flame vs the near twin. It's possible she may not be the one, just close to your frequency enough to arouse the same intensity.
I am sorting though my own karmic relationships so experiencing the bizarre twin flame one is throwing me off. I apparently reached a higher frequency and connected with mine on a spiritual level. I wasn't expecting this, neither were we looking for this. It just happened. I do think all things happen for a reason, especially when there are strange coincidences that go with it.
The twin flame thing actually blows away every idea you have about your emotions and feelings. Especially how you feel about love. It's not a romantic love but a more universal uplifting unconditional love.
I had my thread on poetry, is that what you were referring to by my writing?
I haven't been in the right mind set lately to write more.
My muse runs away a lot.
So I wait.
Patience is everything.

reply to post by RisenAngel77


By the time I got to the end of this extraordinarily long thread that really said amazingly little I was sure it was satire.

I mean no one that's had any real life experience can believe in this twin flame stuff. Already assigning yourself lifetimes of imprisonment to get her?

I mean despite my cynical jaded heart I really am a true romantic. I love and have loved a few women but the perfect man or woman is a fairy-tale best done by Disney.

Originally posted by ISHAMAGI
reply to post by RisenAngel77

 

By the time I got to the end of this extraordinarily long thread that really said amazingly little I was sure it was satire.

I mean no one that's had any real life experience can believe in this twin flame stuff. Already assigning yourself lifetimes of imprisonment to get her?

I mean despite my cynical jaded heart I really am a true romantic. I love and have loved a few women but the perfect man or woman is a fairy-tale best done by Disney.

It isn't about the perfect mate, it's about the perfect mirror. The problem lies in the romantic ideas. For which one who has been down a Twin Path learns pretty quickly is not "the point".

reply to post by seagrass


seagrass, please, i would like to hear your opinion

i have heard it many times mentioned in the past, but did not pay too much attention to it -- the possibility that (as i have heard it phrased) often a person is sent that mimics a twin soul relationship but actually only prepares a person for the real twin experience (i know the change within oneself is important, but still………). i remember you mentioned you had more than one twin soul experience

and…… i also have come across the idea, that you can actually experience and meet someone who is part of your own soul. they are called ‘parallel souls’ or ‘near twin’ which i believe to be an enormously profound experience, maybe even more so than a twin flame experience. this might be an even clearer mirror one encounters to figure out the pain and joy within what is perceived as duality and also one’s experiences with oneness, not necessarily toward humanity as such but specifically in a union with an other person

i believe this parallel soul brings the possibility to experience oneness to its most capacity within duality, even more so than a twin flame which could leave space for duality and relationship, a total union between two people including the physical - whereas, as i believe to have experienced, is not at all possible with a parallel twin

have you any ideas about any of this

Originally posted by bestintentions
reply to post by seagrass

 

seagrass, please, i would like to hear your opinion

i have heard it many times mentioned in the past, but did not pay too much attention to it -- the possibility that (as i have heard it phrased) often a person is sent that mimics a twin soul relationship but actually only prepares a person for the real twin experience (i know the change within oneself is important, but still………). i remember you mentioned you had more than one twin soul experience

and…… i also have come across the idea, that you can actually experience and meet someone who is part of your own soul. they are called ‘parallel souls’ or ‘near twin’ which i believe to be an enormously profound experience, maybe even more so than a twin flame experience. this might be an even clearer mirror one encounters to figure out the pain and joy within what is perceived as duality and also one’s experiences with oneness, not necessarily toward humanity as such but specifically in a union with an other person

i believe this parallel soul brings the possibility to experience oneness to its most capacity within duality, even more so than a twin flame which could leave space for duality and relationship, a total union between two people including the physical - whereas, as i believe to have experienced, is not at all possible with a parallel twin

have you any ideas about any of this

This is the circle of confusion which technically becomes moot. You see, the twins SHOW us the connection. First we meet "other people", then we meet what we think are "soul mates", then we meet Twins and Near Twins and Karmic Twins and parallels. etc. All of these experiences "prepare" us for the eventual understanding of ONENESS. That we are connected to the ALL. A fabric.

The first encounter with a Twin Soul is the "final" blow. And if we do not get it then, we meet yet another. Until we get it. The mirrors are everywhere, as are the coincidences and signs, the patterns throughout our lives, the repeat performances.

The continuing build up of evidence will occur until you finally accept that there are messages being sent, examples being given, and chances and opportunities to "get it" over the course of your lives. Understanding the mirror and what is being shown in the mirror is "knowing self" in action. The more you see yourself in everything, recognize it, and own it, accept it, Love it, and let it go, the more you will see that you are everything reflected. The good and the bad, the twisted and the ugly. The wrong and the beautiful. As above, so below, as within so without. It's not a joke, it's not crazy, it's not meant to hurt you, it's not meant to make you feel insane, or new age or weird. It's the divine truth.

The Twin is a specific, lesson. One that we finally can't ignore. It causes us to throw away our common explanations of how the universe is. We can no longer deny that we are one with something else. Our Egos, have a very difficult time with this knowledge due to fear. We spend so much time learning we are "separate" from our world. Our egos have to die, in a way, in order to accommodate this new knowledge. Our "Ego lives and structures" fall apart in order to build a new belief system that accommodates the idea of Oneness.

Our Ego, the separated consciousness, wants to believe it is special. That it is the owner of another heart all for itself. But that denies the very divine truth that we are ALL connected. Science is proving this in physics.

"The Twins" is a duality (Our world is built and structured as Duality, Male/Female Light/Dark, Good/Bad) which when finally understood becomes funneled into the only place you can go from there... One. Some people describe it as a trinity. (The two unite with another higher self.) But that is not how I understand it.

One is One. All is one. You would then be Me you see? Through twins we come to realize not only are we connected to another but we are connected to ALL and the romance dies. (Another belief system that has to crumble.) I believe only when we can truly love self as one with all, unconditionally, can we actually unite as one with those who are our "twin mirrors". Because when there is fear, love and connection is lost. It takes a total surrender of beliefs in dualities, and total acceptance of Oneness to bridge the Ego fears which cause us to believe in separation to begin with. When one says "he hurt me" you have to turn that around and say "I hurt me", ad infinitum.

I repeat, Oneness means One. ALL. Can you imagine how the world would change if we understood this? Not one with other humans. One with ALL... Never ending Oneness. How do you live here, understanding this, when the "game of life" is about separateness?

My belief (believe how you wish) is that when one meets a "twin" of any kind, that their consciousness is ready to learn Oneness. First through the experience of duality in connection, and then as Oneness of self. Many places and information exists out there for one to find others who have taught this idea. Many who speak about Oneness, and teach it, have come and gone. It can be found in religions, in customs, in scientific study, and in ones own knowing. It can be found without a twin experience. It can be seen anywhere, from a forest. within a temple, or under a microscope.

How that comes about is unique and individual as we are unique as individual conscious souls of energy. Each experiencing a part and parcel of it ALL. Each needs another soul to experience that awakening through the love and connection to another in the Twin experience. That Twin is the Twin in the Mirror... And mirrors can take any form. And perhaps we chose beforehand, perhaps we have favorites, who knows how it really works. But after my experience I cannot deny that I came to understand as part of spiritual awakening, that I can track and trace back to my youth. Perhaps through other lives I have experienced. Perhaps as genetic inheritance. Those details do not matter to me as much as the idea of learning how to live with that knowledge in this place right now does. While I am here, as a separate consciousness, I am going to learn how to see myself as part of the ALL, and that is not easy to do.

I am learning how to let the Ego take a back stage, while enjoying what life I have left here, and to try and help as many other versions of "myself" that I can while I am still learning how to be one with what I see, smell and taste with my (human version of) senses. To offer a hand up to others who I know are also on this journey of awakening is all I know to do in order to help myself. (I believe this is called "service to others" in some circles, but if you are one with all...then service to others is the same as service to self. )

Anyone who thinks they have met a twin is, to me, a person seeking to understand this connection to ALL. Call it God, call it the universe, call it other dimensions outside our perception, or whatever you like. Understand it however you like, it's all the same thing. Hypocritical Christians, waring politicians, philandering sexual addicts, atheists, competitive athletes, tribal members, murdering thieves, homosexuals, monks, celibate priests, they are all "right". They are all a part of the diversity of consciousness which seeks to experience itself as "separate" from the ALL. They all might have a Twin experience which wakes them up to Oneness. My consciousness seeks to understand how I am one with it. Other than that, I am just a girl who found a key with many doors to open. My Twin (yes multiple) helped me find that key.

Now when I meet people, I try to see what I am showing myself. When I walk in the woods, I am concentrating on how I am part of it. When I see someone afraid, I recognize that I too am afraid. That I too feel separate. When I am lonely, I sometimes have to laugh because I am also aware that it is not possible. To be alone. That my Ego is just the prominent awareness at the moment. And my awareness of Oneness returns. Sometimes I think it was more fun not to know. The "game" was much more fun that way. Asleep. But then, imagine how much the world could be more fun, knowing it is a "game of separateness" that ends eventually.

For me it took a big wake up call in a Twin Package. One that was very painful to open and explore. But once I had the "Aha!" moment that finally made it all make sense...(after much begging to "higher selves" for guidance) I finally got my answer. When the mirror was glaring too obvious in my face that "he was me".. did I finally see that they ALL were. Everyone I have ever met were mirrors.

Even if I were wrong about it all, and none of this is divine truth, then so be it. It works to make me understand everything that has happened to me this life. It makes everything make sense to me. Even what doesn't. Because if the ALL wants to experience it ALL, then I am off the hook. No more guilt, no more needing to be "right", a little less fear, and a whole lot of EVERYTHING to accept. It's quite simple. One.

reply to post by seagrass


thank you so much for your reply that made me think and contemplate hard and made me see more clearly what is relevant for me - and this is where i differ to your perception :

i am convinced that if one has not been able to experience oneness to a very evolved level already one does not meet any twins. i think, to know oneness is a prerogative to the twin experience. (i perceive everybody and everything as a teacher holding the mirror for me, but would not go as far as calling that a twin.)

i think that the twin experience does further one to bring the experience of oneness to yet higher levels. and only when one has reached that certain level one is able to form a relationship with a loved one (irrelevant whether this is the twin, an other twin or whoever) to be in total union and create together the experience of a wholesome oneness on the path to perfection of what the human condition is.

i thank you again very much in providing the resistance for me to be able to find my resolution more clearly.

i thank everybody here in this and other threads to be inspirational !

i came across the term and concept of a parallel twin in contrast to a twin flame only a very little while ago, this was very important to me in the sense of knowing myself more. everything i know slid into a perspective that i understood.

i offer some of my experiences in all humbleness, maybe someone here can benefit from it, maybe it will reach someone doing research in this matter and it could be of help. i will be as brief as possible without loosing important context.

almost all texts on twin flame experiences mention that one of them is either not at the same level or is in an other relationship that would prevent the two of having a relationship and if they have one it is usually short lived. this was not at all the case for me. it went on for years and years and neither was it because either of us would block in any way.

both of us seemed to be at the same level and the attraction was the same for both of us from the moment we met and we came to experience the full impact bit by bit, as we met over time. without words we also knew of each other that the other also knew. we knew this by reading each other, it was as if we were an open book to each other. telepathy also played a big role. i don’t think that i’m much more telepathic than the average person, but when i was with that person, telepathy (sending and receiving) was phenomenal. no matter how cunningly i would test this phenomenon, it worked hundred out of hundred times.

on one hand we were attracted like magnets and on the other hand we were like the same pole that could never meet. very strange. it was clear that life or a higher intelligence itself would interfere and would not let us approach each other to actually connect. something was repelling us. if either of us would approach the other with an intent, something would come up that would prevent us actually meeting, e.g. people would appear suddenly as if from nowhere and interfere with us connecting. there was nothing we could do, we noticed that both.

some of the most amazing occurrences ever in my life happened also in connection with this person. it is not easy to describe or explain it, since it is an experience not of ‘this’ world. i would hear a loud ‘pang’ maybe most similar as i would imagine a single thunder clap. i would only hear it inside myself but yet it was not happening inside me, i don’t know where it happened. and i knew without a shadow of doubt that this noise had to do with the other person in a significant way. i knew there was a special energy flow from one to the other that seemed to be complimentary and we would equalize our energies. and again that knowing that the other person knew too. i heard that pang at least five or six times.

being me, of course i decided to push past that barrier. i had the strong intent to get to the bottom of these weird experiences. when i got close to the person i experienced that electrifying pang again. and this time it was simultaneously accompanied by a voice telling me something. as a consequence i fainted.

i tried to break that attraction but the attraction just grew stronger. as i have mentioned in an early post, i knew something very different to a normal romantic attraction was going on and i recognized and called the person my twin before i even heard of the concept of a twin soul. the concept made kind of sense and gave me enough to be able to rationalize but not as much as the concept of a parallel twin does. also i always considered that this person would have to be operating on a very similar frequency to me for this to happen.

it also had unexplainable metaphysical sides to it, like objects would manifest themselves. i only know now, quite a while later, that these occurrences were carrying a meaning that goes beyond those specific experiences with that person.

i also heard that specific voice on a few more occasions and analysing it now, they also were mentioning things that have significance beyond that attraction. it is as if they were protecting and guiding me through those unusual difficult experiences and today even seem to be prophetic of something else.

over the years of our extraordinary attraction we learned that we could actually talk to each other but just not on a personal level. we engaged professionally and organized a project of great beauty and success. but the pain i felt in doing so, and feeling the other person’s pain also, was near unbearable. i then decided to deliberately go against that attraction by transforming it. it took a long time to find a way to do that without hurting myself despite all the knowledge and experience i have to do so. now it is an integrated part of me.

and yes, the path to learn to be wholesome and healthy never stops.

Originally posted by bestintentions
reply to post by seagrass

 

thank you so much for your reply that made me think and contemplate hard and made me see more clearly what is relevant for me - and this is where i differ to your perception :

i am convinced that if one has not been able to experience oneness to a very evolved level already one does not meet any twins. i think, to know oneness is a prerogative to the twin experience. (i perceive everybody and everything as a teacher holding the mirror for me, but would not go as far as calling that a twin.)

i think that the twin experience does further one to bring the experience of oneness to yet higher levels. and only when one has reached that certain level one is able to form a relationship with a loved one (irrelevant whether this is the twin, an other twin or whoever) to be in total union and create together the experience of a wholesome oneness on the path to perfection of what the human condition is.

i thank you again very much in providing the resistance for me to be able to find my resolution more clearly.

i thank everybody here in this and other threads to be inspirational !

I agree with you that one has to be at an evolved level to have a Twin experience, my purpose in saying that everyone can is because I believe everyone, every soul will eventually as they evolve. But there are degrees to this, I have found. Because it has increased, accelerated, and compounded. I suppose I cannot agree with the total union aspect of it because I have not experienced it. The only wholesome oneness I have found has been alone. Perhaps that is my eventual path, and perhaps with more "work" I will be able to reach that level. Mine is only a mental understanding, a lifestyle I am trying to live, but have not reached that level completely in my heart. Other wise if I was at that level, I would be attracting that. And I am not. I am attracting those who are questioning and seeking and searching, be cause that is my "mirror" right now. My level.

Years ago I met, and lost, mine. I have, over the years, wondered why we were not meant to be in this lifetime, despite knowing who we are together. I came to the conclusion that we choose our paths for this life and for whatever reason, we had pre-decided that we would not share this life together. We both had other purposes etc that we needed to fullfill.

I have no doubt, however that in another lifetime we will be together as we have been before.

Miho Wada - Fancy Tango [2012]

reply to post by seagrass


i think that you could be speaking about us!
the last aprox two years have been so strange for me ! all my life especally after i was about 19 years old i have had dreams and premonitions that have come true even strangly enough they have come to me years before they happen i have spent most of my life trying to ignore it and i felt that i was different than everyone els and it made me very uneasy but in the last two or three years it has been very strong and ive somewhat ecepted it i guess you could say. aprox a year and a half ago i was really searching for answers to some very deep subjects like comparing different religionsand spirituality, beliefs, cultures, civilations. i really found myself being drawn to issues of dreams and meditation as i was what i felt getting closer to the answers i was looking for some family issues came up and everything that was suppose to be going well for me crumbled before my eyes! i was so frustrated and i felt like giving up. i was in a way forced to travel half way across the country and be around people i really didnt want to be and i was about one hour away from their house and i had a very uneasy feeling come over me and it kept growing..then i stopped dead in my tracks and went to a friends instead(someone that i had not known for very long) while visiting this friend i went for a walk and i started to pass a house that was dark and looked like no one was home as i continued down the road somthing stopped me a feeling i cant explain so i walked up to the house as i did i felt the pressence of two dogs(later found out that they lived there just at another time before) the owner of the home came to the door and i introduced myself and we began to talk and to make a long story short everything that we talked about was the same . same life happenings same likes same dislikes and the people that we secretly wished to be with in the past we quickly realized was eachother it was very intense when we spoke to each other for the next couple of weeks we were so shocked at what one would say that we often had a moment of speachlesness veerything was the same even the food we loved the habbits pet peevs prefences it was so bad that we teased one another about being twins BUT then we started thinking each others thoughts several times! i do belive this was whom i wished for and i did already know that i was suppose to meet them very close to the end of this world or at a big turning point of it. please tell me what you think of this i would love your opinion p.s. its not exactly hapily ever after like i thought it would be i think they have a personality dissorder and i am worried i feel like i am about to go through somthing and they wont be able to go if they cant change for the better. i feel it but i dont know what it means and its strong i know we both know we were suppose to meet for this time peroid in our lives there is so much more i could tell you




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sumrluvngrl

A bump i guess, a decade + a year since Ive met her, 5 years since i last saw her, no trace of her on the internet, So much has happened but nothing has changed. Sucks when you can forget for a few weeks then a dream crushes any kind of progress you thought you made. Even worse when everything reminds you of them, one cannot enjoy a sunset/sunrise/midnight stroll, etc. without feeling misery. Kindof makes you wonder if those who commited suicide from this sort of pain ever found peace. But being stuck as a ghost with it seems so much worse.

the strange thing about my soul connection, was, we couldn't be involved, it was just too difficult on an energy leve, because of who she was energetically

my energy field, was certainly encouraged to grow by her, shortly after she nearly destroyed it, it was devestating

and yes still now, sometimes, songs remind me of her, the love felt, but it is not the same as wanting to be with her

anymore