Twin Flames and how I found mine.

We understand, and it's not something anyone can ever forget. It can fade, but the experience isn't meant to be forgotten. Its like getting a big box of information for you to sort through when you need it. it could be the most important "box" we ever get..A gift. Not exactly one you want to put on a shelf and have people go "what the heck is that thing? Why do you keep it?" Many of us only have a few people we can show it to. A few people who benefit from seeing another have one. When you find them, they are precious people. True friends on the journey. Some of us are proud to have it. It's quite possibly our most important possession.. This knowledge. This medal. This perspective is fragile. "Egos" of the world make fun of it. Usually because they are playing the "game" quite happily and successfully. They enjoy the "separateness" of duality.

Many of us lose everything. I believe we do this on purpose. It's much easier to build a new philosophy from the ground up without the old structure there. Building a new home.. vs remodeling. The ego has to be stripped to the core.. and then hopefully both the soul and the ego build something more compatible.. They become willing roommates. With shared "remote control" time. Hopefully....

The pain.. like opening many wounds simultaneously. It's a very intense surgery of the soul. It truly is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. So much that suicide seemed to be a positive thinking process. But once you hurt that deeply.. not much scares you anymore. I am strong today. Stronger than I ever thought I could be. When I think back over the last 4 years.. I have made tremendous leaps and bounds.

The Dark Night of the Soul isn't for everyone. But what a place to visit. A haunted house of horrors with your own personal Boogy Man.. that lives within. But then when you find your way out.. You aren't so afraid of yourself anymore. You laugh when you figure out it was all your own smoke and mirrors.

Originally posted by liveandlearn
May I express my gratitude for this thread and all who have posted and thank you for the confirmation. You think there is no one who understands or, at least in my world, who has been where we have been and understands.

It has taken me a full day to just go through the first 3 pages as I had to walk away and absorb what I have been reading. It is a difficult journey this one. Thank you seagrass, RisenAngel and BestIntentions. So much information and help.

I won't bother you with my story (except for a few points) as it has been told many times on this thread.

I am much older, 58 when I met the person, so no hormones, and 66 now. I thought my life was whole till I met the person. I was willing to give up my progress in this life to be together and for that I lost everything. Many precognitive dreams, knowings, just weird stuff all around. When he left, I felt half of me was gone...a half I didn't even know I lacked until he came into the picture. Someone said they wished they had never known them, this is true. I told a psychologist that if you could take my whole miserable life and roll it into a ball it would not compare with the pain I had gone through.

Someone else said that they could not be with another because someone would have to meet or exceed the person and it would be unfair to get involved with another when your heart is somewhere else. I have thought this many times. It was good to hear another express this understanding.

I won't go on, though I would like to, but just to say thank you again for this thread. So old I am and so many lessons to learn. I will check the many links as my 'emotional state' will allow.

My sincerest wishes to all who have laid out their stories for others to see we are not alone.

Originally posted by Dharma Employee
reply to post by seagrass

 

brilliantly summed, up, seagrass, luxus, I am presuming has no idea what the experience of a soul connection/twin flame feels like( apologies in advance if I have all this wrong dude)

He's lucky that way. Would be nice to blame it on age and innocence.. wouldn't it? To just be delusional and need a little dose of 'reality'.. to cure it. Ironic. Because, reality is last place you find the answers.

ye, true, do you ever tune into peoples energy seagrass

i sometimes wonder how she is these days, though do not want to be with her

You don't need me to tell you. As her twin you would know best. Learning to trust your instincts is important and a key component of "knowing self". How do you think she is?

(My skills lie in dream interpretation. I do sense the energy of people, but its usually through words and such. Not from a remote standpoint. And of course, Astrology.)

I know my "flame" is very much burrowed far into his "separate" life. Instead of letting go of his ego defenses, he built them up even more. Now he has a bigger house, more yard to mow, the new beautiful wife (the one he complained to me about) now ever more narcissistic, more perfectionist, and most likely feeling more alone than ever.
He's probably quite pleased with himself. From that perspective. It was more important to his ego to do so. Than the risk to chose me.
We stopped contact around last summer. (although he left the ends untied) And I have been on an upward swing ever since.

Originally posted by Dharma Employee
ye, true, do you ever tune into peoples energy seagrass

i sometimes wonder how she is these days, though do not want to be with her

The idea of becoming intimate with someone again, the idea that we would be settling for less with someone else is an important topic for Twin Flamers. One they rarely speak about. This is a touchy subject.

Firstly, that means we have failed. If we do this. Find another. Failed, because the ultimate goal is to reach that "perfect potential", that brilliant irreplaceable feeling of "sameness" and "likeness". Of family. Of connection to something divine. Something so big .. and so full. Complete. We were compelled to succeed. We tried so hard.

Secondly, it's about both people failing. If one was ready and the other not, how long do we wait? If both aren't ready how long will it take? And how do we become ready? How do we help them? Do we need to? Can we?

Third, Can we even feel good about loving another knowing what we know. Wouldn't we feel guilty for knowing that there is a place in our soul no one can touch quite like that. And...Is that even true?

And.. Maybe the point is to have a relationship with self now. So that one day you might be able to love in the way you had intended. The way you had a glimpse of. Sensed.


But yes, we have to try again right? We need the practice. Loving unconditionally. Teaching. Sharing. Hoping. Connecting.

This is a very informative thread, I have enjoyed following it. Many thanks to all of you who are contributing!

hey seagrass, well my first soul connection that the satire I wrote refered to, I dont think was a twin flame as much of it did fade, once I got away from her, although she does pop up in my thinking probably daily but not majorly

I think I shut down a little after what happened the first time around and then had a 2nd connection was actually a poster on astro, which was very weird but this time around, it was much more peaceful and harmonious and I ackowledged the bond, but the depth of feeling was nowhere near the same for me as it was for her

I have no idea how Alison feels now, I think she has been somewhat challenged by my 3 emails over a an 18 month period, and sense, it has impacted her a little but think it will be a lifetime unfoldment for her, wheras for me, it felt like much of the impact was more immediate and is unfolding in a different way

I wonder how much 1 10mg anti d a week is supressing pain or whether I have cleared quite a bit of it and transfromed since the experience occured

Originally posted by Dharma Employee
hey seagrass, well my first soul connection that the satire I wrote refered to, I dont think was a twin flame as much of it did fade, once I got away from her, although she does pop up in my thinking probably daily but not majorly

I think I shut down a little after what happened the first time around and then had a 2nd connection was actually a poster on astro, which was very weird but this time around, it was much more peaceful and harmonious and I ackowledged the bond, but the depth of feeling was nowhere near the same for me as it was for her

I have no idea how Alison feels now, I think she has been somewhat challenged by my 3 emails over a an 18 month period, and sense, it has impacted her a little but think it will be a lifetime unfoldment for her, wheras for me, it felt like much of the impact was more immediate and is unfolding in a different way

I wonder how much 1 10mg anti d a week is supressing pain or whether I have cleared quite a bit of it and transfromed since the experience occured

Yes, I understand. The Twin Flame lessons are sometimes with more than one person. My first TF lesson came here at ATS. Then another after, but much more intense even than the first one. But the same lessons prevailed. Slightly from a different angle though. In some of my research I have found that this is a very important part of the lesson. The fact that there can be more than one TF. But in my research there they describe it as ONE true TF and other such substitutes. Which function in a very similar way to the one TF. Again here is an example of yes, no, and maybe being a proper function of duality here. Substitute TFs are labelled Traveling Companions in one teaching.
But really that is all just semantics to the fact that there are others who can show us our reflections when we need them to.

I shut down majorly after both. A very difficult time, but I got off my anti D's early on. And I recommend you do too. We don't need the numbing of our true self and emotions. We have to deal with this at some point. All the fears and such will not go away until we deal with the original cause.. the original sin so to speak. Our fears must be conquered. MUST> in order to get where we are trying to go. These TF's show them to us. They show us our wounds. They also show us all the greatness inside of us and so we must eventually balance and integrate them. Or it will have all been in vain.

edit: I totally don't believe it will have all been in vain.. but lets say it feels like that and it's the driving force to accomplish once you get to this point.

Try not to worry so much about her growth and the impact. It's about self now.. and try to focus on your own growth. In that I mean about dealing with fear in daily life. You are already divine. But as a human life we are separate from the oneness as a choice and with a separated consciousness. And, this is my deepest belief.. we are never really separated from that oneness. It only feels that way while we are here. The TF experience teaches you that more than anything else.. you cannot ignore or deny or hide behind ego for long. Realization and illumination on that aspect of living here... is that we are connected to everything. And the more you spend time in that state, that awareness, and that consciousness, you will be making great strides in every direction of your life. It has a certain fulfillment of it's own, to keep grounded in that state. It reduces all kinds of fear and loneliness. It creates all kinds of changes. It will bring your curiosity and joy of life back. Forgive yourself for your human fears. They are not our natural state. And it's not like you only get one chance at this whole business. reply to post by Dharma Employee

Originally posted by seagrass

Originally posted by Dharma Employee
hey seagrass, well my first soul connection that the satire I wrote refered to, I dont think was a twin flame as much of it did fade, once I got away from her, although she does pop up in my thinking probably daily but not majorly

I think I shut down a little after what happened the first time around and then had a 2nd connection was actually a poster on astro, which was very weird but this time around, it was much more peaceful and harmonious and I ackowledged the bond, but the depth of feeling was nowhere near the same for me as it was for her

I have no idea how Alison feels now, I think she has been somewhat challenged by my 3 emails over a an 18 month period, and sense, it has impacted her a little but think it will be a lifetime unfoldment for her, wheras for me, it felt like much of the impact was more immediate and is unfolding in a different way

I wonder how much 1 10mg anti d a week is supressing pain or whether I have cleared quite a bit of it and transfromed since the experience occured

Yes, I understand. The Twin Flame lessons are sometimes with more than one person. My first TF lesson came here at ATS. Then another after, but much more intense even than the first one. But the same lessons prevailed. Slightly from a different angle though. In some of my research I have found that this is a very important part of the lesson. The fact that there can be more than one TF. But in my research there they describe it as ONE true TF and other such substitutes. Which function in a very similar way to the one TF. Again here is an example of yes, no, and maybe being a proper function of duality here. Substitute TFs are labelled Traveling Companions in one teaching.
But really that is all just semantics to the fact that there are others who can show us our reflections when we need them to.

I shut down majorly after both. A very difficult time, but I got off my anti D's early on. And I recommend you do too. We don't need the numbing of our true self and emotions. We have to deal with this at some point. All the fears and such will not go away until we deal with the original cause.. the original sin so to speak. Our fears must be conquered. MUST> in order to get where we are trying to go. These TF's show them to us. They show us our wounds. They also show us all the greatness inside of us and so we must eventually balance and integrate them. Or it will have all been in vain.

thanks dude, I hear you about the anti d but its like 1 a week,which I am not even sure is a therapeutic dose, coming off, at present, given I have done well in my job role for the last 14 months, does not seem a good idea, given I am studying for the early stages of diploma, which I am trying to achieve to put on a CV in a terrible econmic climate, it's not I want to be on these, things, I only take 1 baby dose every 7 days, it's that , given my refusal to take, them before, during soul connection no 1, nearly lost me my job and triggered a formalised meeting with HR, I cannot chance it at present, thanks for your responses and feedback dude

I was unable to play the "game" for quite some time. I could not function. Somehow, I was sustained and my needs were met whist losing everything. Not everything.. but from success in the game standards.. I wasn't playing the game so hot. That down time was when I began seeking, if not obsessively, days on end, month after month, and I was able to do it from my computer in my "prison" room. I wasn't able to spend money, go places, like most people and I didn't want to anyway. I isolated and cried myself to sleep every night. That time was given to me as a gift to search and search and meet people online. Very valuable "teachers" came along my internet path. And of course many of the contacts with TF came this way as well.

I realized how ridiculous the game is anyway.. and only now am I willing to try "playing a little" in the 3d paradigm in any meaningful way. Only this time I know it's a game. And I have those moments when I fall asleep in the game and actually enjoy it. The rest of the time I spend trying to feel the oneness as much as I can. It is hard to stay in that state for long. The world is a blinding light and the crap will find you at home if it has to. You can't hide.

You know what is best.. again follow your instincts. It's a goal.. though. And you already sense it is a thing to relinquish eventually. But yes, keep playing the game as best you can. It doesn't help when you are trying to deal with outer life and inner life at the same time.. It's a lot of work. It's exhausting. So baby steps, and baby dosage, it's all good. reply to post by Dharma Employee

You know what is best.. again follow your instincts. It's a goal.. though. And you already sense it is a thing to relinquish eventually. But yes, keep playing the game as best you can. It doesn't help when you are trying to deal with outer life and inner life at the same time.. It's a lot of work. It's exhausting. So baby steps, and baby dosage, it's all good. reply to post by Dharma Employee

yep dude

thanks

So I don't want to kick a dead horse however. . .
This thread is exceptionally intriguing. And as I rarely post and am mainly on here, usually just for information purposes, I was compelled to post.

I have only read a few pages and I need to read the "middle" ones yet. However I have read most point of views coming from the "twin flame" who was left behind. Not as many from the one who left them behind. (so to speak)
I'm not really sure if said person is my twin flame. I'm not sure if I want to allow it or not. And more than once I have thought about it. We remain close friends as to make a long story short were involved. I can't be near him. I can't bring myself to even be in the same vicinity of him. why? It is like this pulsating energy that hums with in me. And dammit but my soul freaking sings.

Now... Does this make him my Twin Flame? I honestly don't know. I just know that I cannot be near him with out being close to him. And I cannot be with him. I cannot. There are reasons outside all reason for this. We are purely combustible. I want to cut off all contact. And my heart cannot. I know I should. And yet I do not.

But does this make him my Twin flame? Or just a soul mate or a part of my soul family? It could be any of those answers. Because I have felt those emotions before. It is a terribly confusing feeling to be so unsure and question it. I also feel if you question it. The it cannot be.

Originally posted by NixieJean
I'm not really sure if said person is my twin flame. I'm not sure if I want to allow it or not. And more than once I have thought about it. We remain close friends as to make a long story short were involved. I can't be near him. I can't bring myself to even be in the same vicinity of him. why? It is like this pulsating energy that hums with in me. And dammit but my soul freaking sings.

Now... Does this make him my Twin Flame? I honestly don't know. I just know that I cannot be near him with out being close to him. And I cannot be with him. I cannot. There are reasons outside all reason for this. We are purely combustible. I want to cut off all contact. And my heart cannot. I know I should. And yet I do not.

But does this make him my Twin flame? Or just a soul mate or a part of my soul family? It could be any of those answers. Because I have felt those emotions before. It is a terribly confusing feeling to be so unsure and question it. I also feel if you question it. The it cannot be.

I found this thread quite intriguing still reading most of it.
But from the way you describe yours it does seem like it would be a twin flame. The timing can be off when you meet. Or from what I've come across it isn't always possible for the 2 to be in an actual relationship.

I agree with the above post. The "twin flame" relationship is not at its core about romantic love and its expression within our cultural practices. It is about divine love and service. It is a very real phenomena, but like many concepts the truth gets buried when it captures the attention of the masses.

And this link explains it in more detail.

enlightenedawareness.wetpaint.com...

I agree with this concept, I find it very fascinating.

reply to post by obnoxiouschick


Thank you for the link. It does a good job of explaining my understanding and perspective.

Very interesting thread. I can't offer to much advice but all I can say there many women out there, sure they may not be your twin flame but they are on the path of awakening and can offer the same type of love that you are searching for, you have just have to search in the right places.

Funny thing is lately I have been having a yearning to connect with a twin flame or soul mate so I learned that's what it's called. I've been looking at women not at a physical level but more in a spiritual level.