The last chapter to my story

reply to post by Serizawa

If you drop out early, you probably will burn for eternity. If you stick it out to your natural "end," you probably will not burn for eternity. You might not even ever die. I'm convinced there are people alive today who will never know death. These are the end times, or very close. It has to happen within about 20 years. Would you like to spend 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years on fire because you couldn't handle being on fire for 20 years, or because some bad things happened to you/others?

And while I'm on the subject... Nobody Ever Dies. The body dies, but it's not you; it's just a life support system for the brain. The brain decays after "death," but it's not you either; it's just the "modem" through which your soul controls the body and experiences life, the medium in which the information that makes you you is stored right now. That information does not just vanish like a crashed hard drive. Your consciousness will persist forever. The consciousness of everyone you've ever "lost" is still around somewhere, and you will be reunited with them. I'm kinda sad that my Aunt Myrna isn't around anymore too, but I know we'll talk again someday, so I'm patient. I don't blame God for "taking her" or "allowing" her to be taken. Cancer (one of Satan's gifts to mankind) took her. Early. And it was her time. I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore in fact. Nobody you lost is suffering anymore either. Death only affects those who survive; the dead are past grief. Grieving is a selfish act. "I'm sorry for YOUR LOSS," we tell people. And that's exactly what it is when a loved one dies: it's our loss, not theirs. They've simply passed Go and either collected $200 or gone directly to jail. We grieve because we think that separation will last forever, but it won't. Learning to think that way will save you untold misery.

You know the worst feeling.......Having to hold all of this inside me, Without being able to tell people. They would probably think I'm crazy.

reply to post by Thought Provoker


Nobody Ever Really Dies huh? N*E*R*D one of my favorite bands out there. I get what your saying.

reply to post by Serizawa


Artistry is not drawing, Julia Cameron has helped many people from screenwriters to actors to sculptors! An Artist is a person who can see the world creatively.

Sorry you took that the wrong way, I did not mean that you should doodle, but you did mention music!

Good luck anyways! Open a door for a change my friend and quit trying to close the ones that others open!

See ya around!

In the end, everything comes down to perspective. How you perceive the field is what really counts. A pessimist will continually fall by the wayside, while an optimist will embrace their short-comings as opportunities to rise. So, if the hand that you've been dealt just doesn't suit your betting mood, fold it in and wait for the next one. The dealer never stop dealing. You'll learn that eventually. The events which unfold in life are cyclical; they start off slow, gain momentum, and always come to a head, before releasing steam again, and repeating the whole process. So, quit looking down, or looking back, or wishing for something you just don't have. Grow up, and step out into the real world. Life is what you make of it, if you spend all your time regretting than you'll never acquire anything worth remembering.

As for the Iluminati... and all these grand conspiracy theories... ignore 'em. They can't hurt you unless you let them. A couple hundred shady men meet at the Bilderberg Group to plan and plot their nefarious deeds, and yet I still can read whatever I want, say whatever I want, surf the internet however I want, eat whatever I want, and speak whatever comes to my mind. For all their "dark power" the Bilderberg and Iluminati have absolutely no control, or influence over me. Neither you. Just keep doing your thing, and watch all of these evil doers come and go. Every generation needs a boogey-man. When you grow up, you'll realize it was just a story meant to keep you morally in line.

Take a walk outside. Go sit by a stream. Play some sports. Read a book. Watch a movie. Get a girlfriend. Go be active. Verb it up, it's what you do. Your mood and outlook will change.

~ Wandering Scribe

reply to post by Serizawa


go to the nearest health food store and talk to the manager about what natural remedies you could use to help your situation.

Take care of the toxic side of things first and drink TONS of water.

I apprecitate your courage and honesty.

reply to post by Serizawa


We may not like the past but it gives us all a general idea of where we have been and why we are where we are today. It also gives us insight in what best to avoid if we wish to change the path we are on. You may not like what you see when you look back or up ahead but at least when you are looking ahead you have the endless possibility of choice. That is, provided you have a good look at the passed and present and use your critical thinking skills to make better informed choices. Or you can sit and wallow, that too is your choice. I thinks it's also very important to stay on top of your depression and make sure you see someone frequently regarding this and have a good support system in place.
Cheers

reply to post by Serizawa


you said you are of mixed race well celebrate that at least. you encompass the best of both worlds you don't have to choose but that in itself is a choice. as for the depression, why are you on ats? this site makes me depressed with all the doom and gloom (but secretly I kind of like it) no one here can cure you of YOUR feelings they can offer advice kind words to soothe your troubled soul but in the end only YOU can help YOU look within do some reading I suggest the teachings of buddha and try meditating deep breathing here try this

www.youtube.com...

good luck

Originally posted by Serizawa
You know the worst feeling.......Having to hold all of this inside me, Without being able to tell people. They would probably think I'm crazy.

Thats why you should do your writing and music. It will help you cope with your current situation, maybe making a new situation, or you and someone else a situation.

Remember some of your happiest moments. Even if they were when you were a kid, does some of those things that made you happy. Youll be fine if you continue to fight.

You get only one chance to live this life. Screw it up if you wish, but it's not worth it. I had a friend about 4 months ago blow his damn head off his shoulders with a shotgun. I mean, clean off. His wife came home and found him like that. He had just switched to some new anti-depressants.

Life is tough. I've learned through my own depression and hard times that the first thing you need to do is learn to be your own best friend. Nothing can do you harm if you know your better than the hatred, ignorance, and general hostility of the world. Face the world with all you have, fight against the things you disagree with, don't let people talk down to you, don't be anyones' b**ch. All you got is yourself, that's the most important thing to remember. You will eventually find others to share life with, but all of the crap that's engraved in our minds growing up about being liked and disliked is just that, crap.
Find yourself and be it, fully. Screw everyone who isn't on your team, they're not you. Look out for number one, man. Depression is certainly real, and I'm not gonna sit here and tell you pretty, happy things. I just know how I've survived, and I'm just trying to pass that on. I've gotten through a lot by defending myself and being my own best friend.

Don't keep anything inside. LET IT OUT. Get EVERYTHING off your chest. I do not watch my mouth around anyone, I do not bite my tongue. If I have something to say, I will say it to anyone. Can't let the burdens build up too much or you'll crumble, and it seems you're more than half way there. Let it out, man. Scream it at the top of your f#ing lungs. Let everyone know how you feel, and if they don't like it, SCREW THEM. You're the only one that has to like it.

Don't waste your only chance on Earth. You'll seriously disappoint me. I don't know you, but you have a fire inside, and THAT is what it takes to live life to the fullest. You have a fire for life, and that's what the masses are missing now. FIRE. PASSION. People who are so blinded by materialism and success that they couldn't even have the capacity to understand these feelings.

Ya' dig?

reply to post by Serizawa


No matter what is happening in the world, or who appears to have the power, know that G-d is in control. These things are allowed to happen for His purpose. We all have a role to play when you realize the truth. Then it is not a bad thing. It is a nesessary evolution. There is a purpose to all things. You are just beginning to see the truth but the real truth is yet to be unfolded. Everything about this world comes down to one truth, your soul depends on it.

Don't believe what you feel.

I was born as an unwanted child, rejected by both parents, bullied at school, teasing colleagues, robbed, victim of an attempted manslaughter and always been alone. Finally met the girl of my dreams but she suffers from borderline and the relationship is more like a rollercoaster in a haunted house. You just don't want to know.
But hey, life goes on. I'm 37 now, when I was 21 I suffered from a heavy depression but got myself out of this without medication.

It's all in the mind and you have the ability to pull yourself out of it. No one else will do that for you. Just start by "erasing" (NOT BY KILLING!!!) all the things and people that drag you down out of your life. If your stuck with them, ignore their words, don't let them get to you anymore. Try to live your dreams!

You can do it!

Thanks for all the advice I've read all your comments. I'll be taking a little break from ATS but I'll reply to all of you as soon as possible.

Cast your body and soul into the vast and boundless deep. Let go. Hear the whisper of my voice drawing you to take that step into salvation. You have no love gained, but only love lost and I still accept you. Come to me not for love, but for despair and torment for it has become you and you it.
You made a decision, remember this. Never will I let man tempt me with with grief only to find he has stayed his hand against his own mortality. I will take all who you placed false hope in, if not you now. Know that I will haunt their dreams with doom and shadows and dread as you weep on your broken vow begging for me to consume you. But I will...I will be whispering from now until your end, waiting.

Do not keep me waiting.

Weeks have gone by and nothings changed, Left with one friend around here. This is crazy........So I just stopped giving a damn about anything. I'm never doing anything for anyone anymore....

reply to post by Serizawa


Your life is your own regardless of the circumstances you are born into. Once your an adult, you have to reckon with yourself that from this point on you make your own choices that mold the path your on. You no longer need to blame anyone for your life or feel victemized.

A vessel was needed to give birth to you and have you enter this world for a purpose. We all suffer and have baggage but ultimately you must embark on a life for yourself without any expectations except for one attitude. This attitude is one of service in some way. Why else are any of us born but to serve and make the suffering a bit lighter. It is a disposition of understanding that everyone suffers in this world and our plight is to try and do the very best with what we have. Aspiring to make choices that do not hurt other's.

That is what we can do. This is not to say that you don't have a right to your own suffering and heart felt desires. We do not get to choose the vessel and life circumstance that we are born into. At least not that we can remember. But the important thing is that you are here in this world for a purpose, even if you don't have any idea of what that is.

The entire planet is depressed, stress ridden, lonely, lost and weeping. We just have to do the very best we can and always try to uplift one another in what ever capacity we are able to tap into.

All our journey's are so that we can find our way back home, to the one truth of all things. All our path's unfold towards this end.

You are in control of your thoughts my man, once you realize this you can change and free yourself from the hell you beleive you live in.

You can be in prison and live in paradise

and

You can be in paradise and live in prison

I know life can be tough bro and although many obsticales come our way no matter what happens we have a choice over our thoughts and emotions.

I sincerley wish you the best. I have been there...I have been to the edge... They told me I have bi-polar and would need to be on medication the rest of my life. I am now medication free and I realize how It was my creation. Through alot of hard work I now live a happy life. Don't give up...you will most likely regret it.

OP,
haven't really read your story, but i get the drift
Donate a pint of blood to the local blood bank, red cross, hospital.
Let them stick you with that needle and watch your blood go into the bag and just keep watching it.
Do it every 60 days, tell the nurse you see her back in 60
Be a bone marrow donor to be a possible match for someone that may need you to be their match!
Seek out the toughest jobs, jobs that wilt the talkers, the jobs that are dirty and dangerous
I'm mean what do you have to lose? your life? HAHA yea if god takes you out he doesn't get blood, he doesn't get bone marrow that may save a life that wants desperately to be saved and yea saved by a kid that doesn't want to save himself. The boss doesn't get to have the kid that tells him let me be apart of the next hard job since the last one wasn't hard enough because you didn't spit enough blood. You are in a perfect position to challenge god to take you out, while you save people in a simplistic way as you can.

What do you got to lose?

Nothing helps.........