You Might Be Christian If.....

reply to post by awake_and_aware

I'm more than thankful for being in good health, and having a roof over my head. Despite being an "unholy" disbeliever God seems to be blessing me already.

you are aware any household or kingdom divided against itself cannot stand right?? - "thankful..God"

For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you. God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us.. Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead.-Acts17

All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. -John1

For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe. -1Timothy1

I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon.
And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth. -Revelation5

www.biblegateway.com...

Its pretty hilarious, all you christians coming out to say that the OP is ignorant. Isn't that a bit ironic?

You ask that other people accept the FEAR of some diety, accept the FEAR of burning for eternity. You ask to much I think, for most reasonable people.

Your cowardice need not continue. You are the arbiter of your own actions my misguided friends, not some man who lives in a golden box.

What is certain is that your own ignorance will continue to betray the raw intelligence I have found many of you christians to posses. It is possibly the saddest thing on earth when that disgusting little joke book, steals away one of humanities treasures.

There are things that deserve faith from us. Humanity will only behave in an acceptable manner when faith in people is restored. This should be your worthy goal. Focus on the here and now friends, not some man pinned to a torture insturment.

If a baptist from the Midwest were instead born and raised in Afganistan they would most likely be a Muslim just as devout to Allah as to the Christian god. All religion is for the simple minded, relying of faith instead of proof.

reply to post by Stovokor


But my threads get dismantled by the moderators due to "etiquette".

I'm starting to detect a little bias. Thanks for your comments, i agree with you ( obviously )

reply to post by awake_and_aware


Mods on here have always been bias toward the ignorant..i mean 'faithful'.

You might be a Christian if you wear one of the new "What Would Jesus Do Penis Rings".....

Originally posted by awake_and_aware
reply to post by Stovokor

 

I'm starting to detect a little bias. Thanks for your comments, i agree with you ( obviously

)

Maybe you're right, it's bias.....against ignorance. You don't understand christianism now and it seems to be so little the hope that one day you will. You shouldn't start this thread.

Originally posted by Trueman

Originally posted by awake_and_aware
reply to post by Stovokor

 

I'm starting to detect a little bias. Thanks for your comments, i agree with you ( obviously

)

Maybe you're right, it's bias.....against ignorance. You don't understand christianism now and it seems to be so little the hope that one day you will. You shouldn't start this thread.

Think the ignorance all falls squarely on your slumped shoulders.

reply to post by Trueman


Perhaps i don't know it now, perhaps it's changed, but i know the doctrine on which it was founded, and i know the means by which it's gained it's followers for centuries.

And if it's a "changed" religion now, doesn't that just prove it to be equivilent to secular democracy? One rule today, another tommorow? Suddenly the word of God doesn't seem so absolute.

And perhaps that's a good thing.

Originally posted by Stovokor

Originally posted by Trueman

Originally posted by awake_and_aware
reply to post by Stovokor

 

I'm starting to detect a little bias. Thanks for your comments, i agree with you ( obviously

)

Maybe you're right, it's bias.....against ignorance. You don't understand christianism now and it seems to be so little the hope that one day you will. You shouldn't start this thread.

Think the ignorance all falls squarely on your slumped shoulders.

I am christian, that means I know christianism. What are you ? Besides your insult, I don't see signs of intelligence. Therapy must be your religion and you are late for church.

reply to post by Trueman

Besides your insult, I don't see signs of intelligence. Therapy must be your religion and you are late for church.

If you feel i insulted you, report me to the moderators. My intention has never been to insult or ridicule individual members of any religion.

Originally posted by awake_and_aware
reply to post by Trueman

 

Besides your insult, I don't see signs of intelligence. Therapy must be your religion and you are late for church.

If you feel i insulted you, report me to the moderators. My intention has never been to insult or ridicule individual members of any religion.

Not you....lol, check again, the first line :

Originally posted by Stovokor

reply to post by Trueman


to be honest it is neither ignorent nore intelligent to follow religion as noone will never know. well, ofcourse when you die you will but noone will be telling that story

Thanks for posting this, I laughed out loud at and found many of them to be true among Christians. Number 20, 11, 10, 8, 7 are probably my favorites from the list.

20) You trust a book written by sheepherders in a time when humans thought the world was flat and that women determined the gender of offspring, but you don't trust a book written in modern times by a scientist.

I remember hearing this saying a while back and thought it was great: "Religion is science for idiots". No offense meant, because I'm sure many religious people on here have an extensive knowledge of science. I just find it funny that when some religious people are presented scientific theories with heaps of evidence to back them up, they deny it and say "God is responsible". I think everything has a natural scientific explanation, and before we understood why the sun sets or where Earth came from, we had to come up with our own explanation that made sense to us. God was this cop out for science and I guess people just stuck with it even though we have learned so much about the universe since then. Some powerful all-knowing entity created everything but he cannot be detected in any way, until you're conveniently dead and cannot prove to the living that he exists.

8) Your cringe when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

This one reminds me of the juicy statistic that God killed a total of 2,270,365 people within the Bible, and Satan killed a whopping 10 people. But watch out, Satan's gunna GETCHA!

7) You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

The way this one is worded just cracks me up, but I can't remember meeting too many Christians who openly make fun of other religions while simultaneously believing in their own.

reply to post by awake_and_aware


as a believer , i would have to agree! even jesus himself was angered by organized religion. it is a personal understanding between YOU and GOD! in the end You will answer for this post to GOD himself. being an ANTI-CHRIST person makes you a preacher of sorts......just not of God but certainly of the WORLD.

reply to post by TylerDurden2U


I am against and disagree with all religions, and consequently I disagree with all of their dieties and other people involved in the religious stories/teachings, so I guess technically you could call me the Anti-Christ

reply to post by TylerDurden2U


I have no invisible means of support. I can't extract human characterists by observing and living in the natural order. I don't find the logic nor the argument from design to be compelling enough to warrant belief.

But i do fight for liberty for the emancipation of my fellow comrades. I do wish better for our future as a whole, and i do feel selfless when i give to charity.

In other words, I don't need to be ordained to be decent.But i agree, Jesus was deemed to be blasphemer in the eyes of the state, just because he was anti-goverment, doesn't make him God sent, and doesn't make him any more of a martyr than Martin Luther King, or Mahatma Ghandi.

Most "Christians" aren't real christians, and by real christian I mean the type Jesus described. Like Nietzsche said, "There was only one christian, and he died on the cross."
The people that do the things you list aren't true christians precisely because they do those things.

It doesn't matter what belief system exists- they will always be used to assimilate and abuse the people.

The Christians caused millions of deaths over the last 1000 years...

But then again, atheist-fueled Hitler and his neo-Darwinism caused the deaths of close to 25 million in 6 years alone.

Point is, all religions and belief systems have a sense of ethics and humanity that should be the focus of their daily practice.

Since we all knew this was going to turn into a christian mud slinging, I can offer only this:

Theists are quick to laugh at atheist jokes, cartoons and funny articles, but you better not say anything about Jesus!!

It's hypocrytical that the majority of the posts here are "cruicifying" (pun intended) the OP because he posted what he thought was funny and wanted to share. They come from the shadows to "pray" for him and to put him down for even suggesting such a thing, yet they will be just as eager to laugh at an atheist just the same.

Shame on all of you,

It's just a joke, grow up and laugh.

King