This is a question for all you single women in a shtf....

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Originally posted by Avyuir
I don't need a man if SHTF, I have plenty of friends and family that would be glad to lend a hand if I asked. I'm already very observant and overly aware of my surroundings (that's how I ended up here) so if anything were to happen, I'd probably know it was coming and do everything to keep myself and the people I care about safe. Don't need a man for that.

Everybody needs a man!

We're generally tall enough to reach the top shelf, and some of us are bulky enough to hide behind when bullets start flying.

My friend here says were sort of handy on payday, too.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Uh huh... (mental note: no meat on bones to speak of)

So how's your liver and heart ?

*cough*

They're there.... I think they're still there, anyhow. Can't really vouch for their condition, though. I'd avoid the brain. That "mad cow" thing, ya know?

Kidneys may be a little crunchy. Lungs are shot - not even good for a decent haggis.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Uh huh... (mental note: no meat on bones to speak of)

So how's your liver and heart ?

*cough*

They're there.... I think they're still there, anyhow. Can't really vouch for their condition, though. I'd avoid the brain. That "mad cow" thing, ya know?

Kidneys may be a little crunchy. Lungs are shot - not even good for a decent haggis.

Damn.

(crosses nenothtu off of potential food list... must have haggis)

Okay...

Next ?

Originally posted by damn_ummmm
If you watch almost every disaster movie ever made, we down here are pretty much left out of every apocalyptic scenario that has been thought of

"On the Beach".

"The Road Warrior" et seq.

'Nuff said.

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Damn.

(crosses nenothtu off of potential food list... must have haggis)

Okay...

Next ?

See? That's part of my strategy - make yourself unappetizing, and nothing wants to eat you! A corollary is to act as crazy as a loon. Folks are scared of crazy folks, and avoid them like the plague, 'cause you just don't know what they might do next.

I'm still working on the crazy part, but I've about got it down pat, I think. Dogs bark at me, babies cry, and adults avert their eyes and pick up their pace, so I MUST be doing SOMETHING right!

Originally posted by spy66
reply to post by pimpinette

 

I dont think the US coped very well with the disaster they had a few years back "Hurricane Katrina 2005"

A lot of people were stored or forced to be located at a stadium.

I think FEMA is going to ruin a lot of survival dreams for a lot of people in the United States. And most of the US is going to be in one way or another dependent on FEMA for resources. Maybe by force as well.

It took 4 days for NOLA to strip off every shred of the veneer of civilization and descend in to complete chaos.

4 days.

Snakes and frog sounds good, lol...
I don't know about people though..people been eating a lot of strange crap for a long time now (especially in the US)..and the hidden communicable diseases that humans can harbor make me a bit hesitant. What with everything bad enough to begin with, to wind up zombiefied because you ate someone you thought was ok - that could be a real drag, lol
The snakes and frogs have had more or less natural food sources and may be healthier and better to eat overall...
Unless of course, you know your soon to be human meal, lol
I still think cicadas might be good fried crunchy with catsup....

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by spy66
reply to post by pimpinette

 

I dont think the US coped very well with the disaster they had a few years back "Hurricane Katrina 2005"

A lot of people were stored or forced to be located at a stadium.

I think FEMA is going to ruin a lot of survival dreams for a lot of people in the United States. And most of the US is going to be in one way or another dependent on FEMA for resources. Maybe by force as well.

It took 4 days for NOLA to strip off every shred of the veneer of civilization and descend in to complete chaos.

4 days.

If one is unused to really tough times, it doesn't take long for most people to start to panic and that's when things get dangerous and disorderly is when panic sets in. I'm not sure I want to be part of the FEMA thing, though..no telling what they may have up thier sleeves once they got ahold of you.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Damn.

(crosses nenothtu off of potential food list... must have haggis)

Okay...

Next ?

See? That's part of my strategy - make yourself unappetizing, and nothing wants to eat you! A corollary is to act as crazy as a loon. Folks are scared of crazy folks, and avoid them like the plague, 'cause you just don't know what they might do next.

I'm still working on the crazy part, but I've about got it down pat, I think. Dogs bark at me, babies cry, and adults avert their eyes and pick up their pace, so I MUST be doing SOMETHING right!

Hmm... crazy as a loon... crazy as a loon...

Damn, why didn't I think of that ?!
I was too busy trying to be all stealth-like.

Okay, so if you're going to do the looney tunes gambit, you need hairspray and plenty of it, the waterproof kind. This way you can spray it all over your head, and then muck up your hair in 6000 different directions (you know, like Einstein or Phyllis Diller). Nor rain, nor sleet, nor shine will ruin that AquaNet sprayed hairdo.

And then of course you need to perfect that Charles Manson crazy-eyed gaze thing...

I think you're onto something here !

reply to post by PaganArchangel


Nope, ain't planning on eating people - there's too much else out there that can be eaten, and I'd rather AVOID people if at all possible. Hard to eat 'em unless you kill 'em first. If you don't, they tend to run away squealing every time you take a bite, and it takes more energy to eat that meal than you get out of it.

Bugs are OK, I reckon, but I'd prefer they be pre-processed in the form of a frog or lizard that has eaten them and converted them to useful muscle mass.

I was out in the brush one time, camping with a guy that knew about half of what he thought he did. I'd killed a copperhead, and was skinning it. So he says "Whacha gonna do with that?" and I said "eat it, of course. No point in wasting it." So he starts looking all horrified, and says "Those are POISONOUS! You can't EAT them!"

I looked at him a minute, and then said "So does that mean I can have your share?" ROFLMAO!

Originally posted by PaganArchangel

If one is unused to really tough times, it doesn't take long for most people to start to panic and that's when things get dangerous and disorderly is when panic sets in. I'm not sure I want to be part of the FEMA thing, though..no telling what they may have up thier sleeves once they got ahold of you.

That's a fact. Folks around here in this city panic if a storm runs over head and zaps their satellite reception for a few minutes. No telling what would happen if the power went out, and never came back on, or the water just stopped running out of the faucets - forever.

As far as FEMA goes, the trick is to not let them GET their hands on you. If you're avoiding people, well, FEMA are people, too, so it ought to take care of itself.

Originally posted by nenothtu
reply to post by PaganArchangel

 

Nope, ain't planning on eating people - there's too much else out there that can be eaten, and I'd rather AVOID people if at all possible. Hard to eat 'em unless you kill 'em first. If you don't, they tend to run away squealing every time you take a bite, and it takes more energy to eat that meal than you get out of it.

Bugs are OK, I reckon, but I'd prefer they be pre-processed in the form of a frog or lizard that has eaten them and converted them to useful muscle mass.

I was out in the brush one time, camping with a guy that knew about half of what he thought he did. I'd killed a copperhead, and was skinning it. So he says "Whacha gonna do with that?" and I said "eat it, of course. No point in wasting it." So he starts looking all horrified, and says "Those are POISONOUS! You can't EAT them!"

I looked at him a minute, and then said "So does that mean I can have your share?" ROFLMAO!

Yes, I knew copperheads, cottonmouths were poisonous if they bit you but I was curious as to whether they were poisonous if you ate them...
Boy those coppermouths and cottonmouths are gonna be real suprised when people start running towards them to catch them as opposed to running away in horror..
It'll take some time before they realize they have become part of the menu, lol

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by PaganArchangel

If one is unused to really tough times, it doesn't take long for most people to start to panic and that's when things get dangerous and disorderly is when panic sets in. I'm not sure I want to be part of the FEMA thing, though..no telling what they may have up thier sleeves once they got ahold of you.

That's a fact. Folks around here in this city panic if a storm runs over head and zaps their satellite reception for a few minutes. No telling what would happen if the power went out, and never came back on, or the water just stopped running out of the faucets - forever.

As far as FEMA goes, the trick is to not let them GET their hands on you. If you're avoiding people, well, FEMA are people, too, so it ought to take care of itself.

If TSHTF I feel real sorry for the youngsters (anyone younger than 35)..they grew up on all the internet stuff and creature comforts..I wonder how they are going to handle that. OMG

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Hmm... crazy as a loon... crazy as a loon...

Damn, why didn't I think of that ?!
I was too busy trying to be all stealth-like.

It's that whole ninja with painted toenails thingy. OF course, that by itself means you have potential for the crazy derby.

Okay, so if you're going to do the looney tunes gambit, you need hairspray and plenty of it, the waterproof kind. This way you can spray it all over your head, and then muck up your hair in 6000 different directions (you know, like Einstein or Phyllis Diller). Nor rain, nor sleet, nor shine will ruin that AquaNet sprayed hairdo.

Wouldn't I need hair first? maybe a wig will do... but I'm working on a glorious Einstein moustache, if that helps!

And then of course you need to perfect that Charles Manson crazy-eyed gaze thing...

I think you're onto something here !

Oh, I've got that Charles Manson Crazy Eyes thing! Got that down pat! Haven't got the swastika tattoo, but I've got a felt-tipped marker for emergencies!

This is me on a happy day, a few years ago when my step son was testing out some night vision stuff:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/29632ef1f8a2.jpg[/atsimg]

Just the eyes alone are potentially deadly.

Yes, avoiding all other people at all costs is the key. Except for a handful of the ones you love and trust, but otherwise, hell no. More people, more trouble.

I live in a small town surrounded by uninhabited bush 2 hours drive north of the nearest city, so I'm already one step ahead of the game.

Originally posted by PaganArchangel

Yes, I knew copperheads, cottonmouths were poisonous if they bit you but I was curious as to whether they were poisonous if you ate them...
Boy those coppermouths and cottonmouths are gonna be real suprised when people start running towards them to catch them as opposed to running away in horror..
It'll take some time before they realize they have become part of the menu, lol

Nope, you can eat them. Poison glands are in the head, towards the back of it. If you've killed 'em right, the head isn't going to be attached to be eaten - or to bite at you while your taking their coat off to get 'em ready to cook.. Some fancy restaurants even used to serve rattlesnake steaks.

You know, now that you mention it, they do look a little surprised...

reply to post by CranialSponge


Me too, fellow ninja. I live away from the city and I have an extra property in a 3rd world underdeveloped country for when S REALLY hits the fan. You can never be too prepared. Buy land, any type of land, as much as you can afford, away from the cities. The best defense is going far away: Once you are in the midst of the chaos, the lower your chances of escape.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by CranialSponge

Hmm... crazy as a loon... crazy as a loon...

Damn, why didn't I think of that ?!
I was too busy trying to be all stealth-like.

It's that whole ninja with painted toenails thingy. OF course, that by itself means you have potential for the crazy derby.

Okay, so if you're going to do the looney tunes gambit, you need hairspray and plenty of it, the waterproof kind. This way you can spray it all over your head, and then muck up your hair in 6000 different directions (you know, like Einstein or Phyllis Diller). Nor rain, nor sleet, nor shine will ruin that AquaNet sprayed hairdo.

Wouldn't I need hair first? maybe a wig will do... but I'm working on a glorious Einstein moustache, if that helps!

And then of course you need to perfect that Charles Manson crazy-eyed gaze thing...

I think you're onto something here !

Oh, I've got that Charles Manson Crazy Eyes thing! Got that down pat! Haven't got the swastika tattoo, but I've got a felt-tipped marker for emergencies!

This is me on a happy day, a few years ago when my step son was testing out some night vision stuff:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/29632ef1f8a2.jpg[/atsimg]

Just the eyes alone are potentially deadly.

Nope.

Your too normal looking. You don't have that freaky homegrown inbred-from-the-hills-of-kentucky thing happening...

Time to ugly yourself up !

Quit cutting the hair, stop shaving, grow out the stache until the hairs get stuck between your teeth, carve an "x" between your eyebrows (actually if you can grow a unibrow you'll really have it made), eat a ton of chocolate so you break out with humongous zits all over your face (folks will think you have some kind of contagious disease going on), and you're good to go !