How To Be A MAN !!!

I can sometimes be found in chat, ... trying to give advice and steer little buckaroo's into manhood. After a thread I did with Inchworm the other day, .... I thought what better way to share knowledge and create the ultimate guide to becoming a man.

Here I will post some general rules, in no particular order, which should be followed in order to become the ultimate Tough Guy !!

#1 Learn how to fight, martial arts will give you discipline, make you stronger, and give you confidence.

#2. Be Usefull ! Learn how to do stuff, ... wether it be fixing cars, computers, hunting, chopping down trees, ... even cooking, .... women love good cooks !

#3. Be Confident, and carry the proper attitude, ..... confidence comes from praise, overcoming obstacles, and action, ..... if you dont have it, ... fake it until you do i.e see #'s 1&2

#4 Watch 80's action movies, .... Swarzennaggar, Stallone, Norris, Seagal, VanDamme, even Swayze will be your companions, .... they will show you how to handle any situation.

#5. Always have a good one liner handy ( see example )




#6 Live Dangerously, biologicaly you are a hunting, fighting machine, ..... get your blood pumping every now and then.

#7 Own a Dog, I have four of them, ... chihuahua's, ...... own a bear or cheetah if possible.

#8 Face your Fears, you don't know what your capable of until you accomplish something, nothing can hurt you, .... your a godamn tank.

#9 Be Clear, Be Concise, know what you want and dont procrastinate, if anyone questions you don't hesitate to make a fool out of them ( see example)



#10 Look the Part, grow a beard, get a few tattoo's, walk with a swagger, when you look in one direction, you want to be sure all other so called males are looking in the other.

#11. Don't Forget to Have Fun !! no one likes a negative Nancy. ( this thread was for fun )

#12 Watch this Video, ..... look at WengWeng,... he embodies everything I am talking about, he's not the biggest, or the strongest, but he has the mojo of a team of stallions, and no one would dare mess with him.

Now, .... share your strategies and pointers !!!!

#13 Have a penis

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst


Now, .... share your strategies and pointers !!!!

What is there left for anyone to share? Weng Weng is da maaan. I have a new crush

Obviously if you think having tatoos and walking with a "swagger" is being a man, you have a lot of learning to do. being a man is simple, its about respect,family, courage, discipline, and business. simple as that, you dont need material things or retarded tattoos, when I see a guy with tattoos I see a guy who is TRYING to be a man. I fear and envy the clean cut guy thats wearing a suit and tie, and is always humble as can be... for he is the one that can rip your testicles out through your eye sockets.

reply to post by WhizPhiz



Not necessarily ....

Do you know who Rosie O'donnell is ??

reply to post by WJjeeper





I guess you skipped over rule #11

..... now git outta ere before I rip yeerrrrr throat out.

ah, but see... maybe i was practicing rule numbah 6? or maybe it was my intention to get YOUR blood pumping? question is, how are you gonna take this man?

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
reply to post by WhizPhiz

 

Not necessarily ....

Do you know who Rosie O'donnell is ??

So rule #14 of being a man is to be fat and ugly? I think not...

reply to post by IntastellaBurst


Pfffttt everyone knows that manhood is directly proportionate to the size of ones television. Want to be a better man? Buy a bigger TV.

Stella, I taught you better than this young man. Now you must downsize the dimensions of your television for 6 months, as a punishment... 19 inch screen for you!

~Heff

Being a man is respecting others/family not being a panzy and not someone who goes to the salon to get a manicure or pedicure cause then your a fag nuff said seriously your fingernails don't need to be clean and no one is looking at your damn feet .

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
#1 Learn how to fight, martial arts will give you discipline, make you stronger, and give you confidence.

Does it have to be physical fighting? I am pretty crafty with a pen...

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
#4 Watch 80's action movies, .... Swarzennaggar, Stallone, Norris, Seagal, VanDamme, even Swayze will be your companions, .... they will show you how to handle any situation.

What, no Kurt Russell??

"Big Trouble in Little China"
"Escape from New York"
"The Thing" (Not so much action as horror, but still)

Of course, once he hit the 90's we got the real goods. Still I think he should be on the list.

And what about BRONSON! I know, I know 70's... But still!

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
#8 Face your Fears, you don't know what your capable of until you accomplish something, nothing can hurt you, .... your a godamn tank.

This one is bitter-sweet. My fears have been faced, and now I am bored. Try going on a "thrill ride" when the "thrill" is gone

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
#11. Don't Forget to Have Fun !! no one likes a negative Nancy. ( this thread was for fun )

Wouldn't a man like a Nancy? Though I suppose a Negative Nancy becomes a Mancy?

And where is "Be Yourself"?

"Insert one-liner here"

reply to post by Hefficide



TV !!! ????


Try finding time to watch TV when your average day looks like this :





Truth be told, coming on ATS helps restore flexibility to my knuckles.

reply to post by adigregorio



I suppose you can do yer fightin with a pen too.

... does it have a blade on the other end of it ??


anyway, .... two wise additions indeed. thats what this thread is for.

Kurt Russell !! The Thing and Big Trouble in Little China are two manly and action packed movies.

#14 Be Yourself : There is nothing cooler than originality. be a leader, not a follower, ..... unless your in some type of marching band.

reply to post by IntastellaBurst


My pen does not need a blade, the "point" fits well into the neck of an enemy. It also writes [self snip] well too!

Thank you for the additions too!

(And for the thread, fun stuff!)






EDIT (Last)
I watched the clip again, been awhile. I do not think I should post it here. Though it is quite fitting

If you wonder what the video was, just youtube search (Casino Pen Scene)

Graphic Languange
And
Graphic Stabbing

reply to post by WJjeeper












............................. ya might learn something.

Na thanks to this thread, i just be myself, which is mostly the opposite of what males are supposed to be.

One day the idea of females and males will have changed alot, and until then.....

Makes me laugh. Being a man to you guys is being egotistical, and having no real opinion worth of anything to others. Your taught to be this way.

For me i do not consider myself male or female, and i am glad, i am just me.

I do not know why any man would want to be like your heroes above. I would much rather follow a Buddhist monks route anyday.

Still think one day mankind will be just one androgynous gender, when you all get past all the rubbish of today. Of course that is long into future, but this world is planned along time in advance.

reply to post by andy1033


Number 11, it isn't just one louder you know!

#11. Don't Forget to Have Fun !! no one likes a negative Nancy. ( this thread was for fun )

That's okay, I almost didn't read the whole thread either.

Men don't read instructions!!!!

That needs to be on the list!

Bah, any real man would do what I did and read this thread thinking "What the ruddy Hell does any of this have to do with ME anyway?"

Manschooled folks, manschooled.

~Heff

How to be a man (English edition)

1. The noble art of fisticuffs cuffs should be a last resort and only used if some kind of bounder commits a grievous offence upon your personage (Such as spilling your tea)

2. Be useless, don't bother to learn to fix cars or computers, that is what your staff are for

3. Be so confident that you can with a straight face walk into someone elses country, claim they are not running it properly and claim it for yourself

4. Watch 80's action movies and marvel at the brutish behaviour that foreigners indulge in, some of them don't even have a matching tie and handkerchief

5. Everything you say must be either Ironic or Sarcastic, Irony is especially useful if you want to confuse Americans

6.Live well, While others may be fighting in the mud your place is at the back directing the battle while eating cheese in a tent

7. Own some hounds and release them when poor people approach your property