Child Support -- Vendetta Against Males

Knowing all too well how the child support system is corrupt, I came across this article and decided to post it.
I myself have to pay child support. Paying the child support is no problem when the amount of money needed to take care of a child is split equally and fair. The problem lays in the fact that the system can take up to 55% of my earnings no matter how often I have the child. Right now they take a day and a half per week worth of my income. They give this money to the mother. The mother does NOT spend this money on the child because she uses money from the welfare system, which I also pay into via taxes. She collects food stamps and cash assistance, lives in a house for free, has unreported income from her husband, but tho he lives there, they have seperate addresses so his income is not counted. If I dont have a job I go to jail, if she doesnt have a job, she gets handouts from the government. I work hard at low wages and can not get back on my feet because I am constantly being harrassed by domestics. They increase my payments everytime I get a raise, leaving me at minimum wage earnings. The courts will not allow me to have custody of the child, tho no abuse or anything like that has ever occured. The system is set up to benefit the mothers, it is ridiculous in a country where everyone is equal, if that were the case, then she too should be forced to get a job or go to jail...Instead she takes my money and your money, sits on her ass and works the system and the hard working citizens of this once great country everyday of her life!

www.henrymakow.com...

Bitter much?

I paid child support for many years after my divorce and did so proudly, even when I disagreed with my ex because I knew it was MY responsibility to care for my children. And to be honest my ex put me through the ringer.

It's not about your ex sitting on her butt. It's about you doing right by your kids.

~Heff

Reply to post by Hefficide

Yes, do you send 50% of your check to her, she sits on her bum And blows it on cigs and alcohol, while getting free food And housing from the government, then tells your kids that you are a loser who never sends money to help them out of the hole.

Makes a lot of sense.




Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

reply to post by Lemon.Fresh


What I went through with my divorce tops, by far and away, what is being talked about here. For example, two years into paying my child support to the state my ex decided, for giggles, to have a warrant taken out for me for "felony abandonment of a minor child" and successfully had me arrested and detained until I could make 250k in bail. That's just one fun moment.

Again, a persons child support is CHILD SUPPORT. Not a weapon against an ex-wife or an excuse to punish one. My child support was always way less than what I would have paid had I been custodial.

To try and bend ones responsibility like this is just whining.

~Heff

Really, Heff?

He quite clearly said that the child support funds were not being spent on the child at all and then your only argument is "Think about all the wonderful things that money is doing for your child"

Is that your argument? What are you a republican?

If the child is in the custody of the mother, and he is not going hungry, or homeless, go to school, and visits, then whatever you contribute is going to the child. Though it may be an addition to other services she receives, the situation with your child could be worse. So be thankful, that you know that if you still hold resentment towards the mother, that you can always tell your child that you manned up and made sure that you did your part.

What your kid thinks of you, and the love and yes even financing that you provide, goes a long way in the end.


BTW there could be another way around it this is what I helped someone do, though places may vary.

I did that with an ex of mine years ago, when we began to date, his child's mother decided to get really nasty with him, about visits, and money. So I told him to shop and spend the full amount that she was to be awarded monthly and make sure to get receipts for every transaction. He did and when she took him back to court, because cash wasn't being given, he had a box full of receipts that she was unaware he was saving, and the judge lowered his payments, and told him to continue what he was doing.

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by Hefficide

It's not about your ex sitting on her butt. It's about you doing right by your kids.

~Heff

Amen brother.

I've got a girl who isn't even my daughter and I haven't seen in 12 years. ( Raised her until she was five.) Who I still pay child support and medical,dental,vision. I will keep paying until she turns 18. if she deides to go to college and asks, I'll help her there too. (Directly-not through the mother)

Why?

Because no matter how screwed up her mother may or may not be, It's not the kids fault. She needs to be taken care of until she is grown. The custodial parent can't handle all of the bills in most cases. That's where child support comes in.

It's sad that custodial parents abuse the system but once again it's not the kids fault. You do the best for the kid that you can within the law. If that's not good enough then make the necessary changes to get custody and do a better job than the ex is doing.

reply to post by Hefficide


Im talking about the equality of the law. I do support my kids, I bust my ass 6 days out of 7 so I can support my children. I was not complaining about the support itself but the equality of the law.

reply to post by Lemon.Fresh


You nailed it on the head. This is such a familiar situation to a lot of people. Im not saying all woman do this, but where I live, it is common practice. These ppl that milk the system when the only thing stopping them from contributing is laziness are nothing but a burden on society and the economy.

reply to post by logicalthinking


I'm a single father. I see my child 5 days in a 2 week period. I pay my child support.

... and I don't agree with you.

You say that the system has a vendetta against males? That's so not right!
If it was the other way around and you had custody of your child and he/she lived with you, the MOTHER would have to pay child support.

The rules might be flawed in some places but as far as I know they DO treat everybody equal and even I don't agree with everything they say, but I can still see the logic.

It's not the system's fault if the mother doesn't use your money on your child (but she might do afterall what with all the food, clothes, shoes, diapers, daycare, etc. that you might not have to pay for).

One more thing that is VERY important to understand: if the parent is happy, the child is happy.
Keep the mother of your child happy and you are a better man in the end because a father's number one priority when being a parent is to take care of his child, EVEN when they're not physically together.

Originally posted by Brood
Really, Heff?

He quite clearly said that the child support funds were not being spent on the child at all and then your only argument is "Think about all the wonderful things that money is doing for your child"

Is that your argument? What are you a republican?

You put quotes around something I did not say - very tricky you...

If the child is being provided for then it's not his concern what "his" check pays for. And if the child is being neglected then he has recourse through DFACS. All else is just bitterness and spite.

Children are NOT ropes to be used in a tug of war or a power struggle.

How does knowing my paternal responsibilities imply any political affiliation? Or is it just that implications are easier than actual debate?

~Heff

Once again a decent thread is hijacked by self-righteous men who do everything right and condemn those in different situations for not being exactly like them.

Maybe I whipped out the republican card too soon.

This man did not say he was getting his child in the middle of this. He said the money that he wishes to be supporting his child is not going to his child, it is going to his mother. He also believes that he would be more fit for custody but the court denies it to him because he is not the one with the vagina (and let's not pretend that's a rarity). Relating a secular situation that provides the child with the support he needs from the child support bills to this story is fruitless, yet it is all anyone has done.

reply to post by Brood


Exactly my point, back to the equality of the law. All the burden is put on the male. I almost spent 10 days in prison because of a bad economy literally shutting down 95% of industrial business in my area. I found a part time job, busting my hump making poor wages, I would make 35 a day, all going towards child support that was not spent on the child. There is no system in place to assure this money is being spent on the benefits of the child. Yet there are so many restrictions on the male. Thank god I now have a decent job where I can advance but it angers me that my hard earned money for my child does not go to the child and that there is no law in place for the mother to prove these funds are in fact going to the child.

Maybe this would happen less if men decided to take full custody of their children. I know of just a few men, that have actually decided on taking on full parental rights, and figured that they would provide for the child as opposed to the regular mind set of women having to do it.

Then the mother can deal with the system, and you can raise your kids, then you know where the money is going.

Peace, NRE.

you sound just like my exwife who emailed me the other day,after the CSA caught up with her after 2 years,when she ran off one night never to come back or any contact,till the CSA finally tracked her down,I HAD TO LEAVE MY JOB OF 12 YEARS,to look after my 3 young kids all under 10,or they would of gone into care..

the CSA are now taking 25% of all her earning from now on,AND RIGHT ASWELL...

and your rant here sounds just like the first email contact i've had with her in 2 years a few days ago...

so it works both ways..and to be honest looking after 3 kids on your own is not easy,infact it more stressfull then the full time job i had for 12 years before,and trust me what you have to pay dont even cover food,let alone clothes and all the other things that come with raiseing a child.

and to be honest i don't know how you got the front to post on here moaning about paying for your child.

MAN UP deal with it !

child support is against god; as god has decreed that a woman carries the burden of child birth and labor.

reply to post by Brood


Then he has the ability and right to petition the court for custody/joint custody. Again, as long as the child is provided for, it matter not an iota what "his" check is paying for. Kids cost a lot of money and child support, in most cases, does not cover the whole expense.

There is nothing self righteous about my thoughts here. The best interest of the child is all that matters, not the parents animosity towards one another.

~Heff

Children need support and both parents are obligated. It matters not, how much or little, the child is seen. Both adults have a duty. However, I would tend to agree that the system (as is) works against the non-custodial parent and really should be re-evaluated. I would love to see a system by which a specific account is set up that child-support pymts. are paid into and any withdrawals from this account would be audited at the end of the year to ensure that funds were used specifically for the children they were meant for. Now, any egregious spending (i.e. Momma decided she wanted breast implants of Daddy spent it in Vegas) would be a mandated refund to the account, etc. Since the majority of child-support is set up by the Courts, this auditing should be taken place by a court appointed children's advocate or some 3rd party.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if both parents would be able to work out such an arrangement on their own and leave the Courts out of this? It is what should happen from the moment two adults decide that they must, for whatever reason, break up their family. However, sad that so many cannot act like adults and have to be mandated by the system, a broken system at that.

reply to post by Ausar


Women do bear the pain of birth and labor - and this has nothing to do with providing for a child.

~Heff