Depression is NOT a Real Disorder

i dont go to the doctors but i know that i have been feeling bad for a very long time. and its very real.

i think depression is a state of mind that can be promoted by evil govt agents.

im heavily into the ideas of psyops and disinformation. Psyops is all about affecting a persons attitude towards a particular outcome.

combined with the way i view society, being a microcosim of the main world, ie, when you read about countries at war we can scale that down to people at war, ie, neigbours etc, and trade news as being directly related to your immediate surroundings. im not explaining this well, BUT what im getting to is that its not THE GOVT attacking me, but the analogy is good. The govt doesnt want me dead, but the trickle down is the same. The powers that be in my case are essentially the govt.

what it boilds down to is that they are attacking me and their primary weapon is depression. They make me depressed. They have a whole bunch of ways of achieving this be it noise pollution, crime, work trouble or whatever.

i blog about my 'depression'. i blog so hard that i causght the attention of the internet people and ow my blog is under a password. its just a personal diary, but it has FACTS about what they do . I say facts because otherwise you forget and if you try to remember what exactly happened you cant remember. but i can open my facts and i can demonstrate that they are MAKING ME DEPRESSED ON PURPOSE. The truth is I am a very powerful person, and they cant stand the idea of me being happy.

i have not had a friend in 20 years and my phone never rings.

but i have done alot of stuff, tried etc.

what i always try to say about depression is that its a real place. its a place like happyness. and in that place reason changes. things that dont make sense ordinarily begin to make sense. And one of those things is suicide. Thats why its a dangerous place. And the reason I say that is becaue its important to know that in this place these things might make sense, but knowing that your percetions are wrong. For example, when you are depressed its hard to imagine that you will ever be happy, but you will, you can measure it. In two weeks you are happy, its a fact, but when your depressed if you say, look, you;ll be happy in two weeks, they cant see it, they cant see the end of it, because reason has changed.

depression is debilitatting. it makes you not want to try.

alot of my depression is based on getting old and not having a girlfriend. and its only getting worse. im 41 years old now and the prospect of dating 20 year olds is actually starting to look more than impossible. when i was 35 for example i tried to chat to girls that were 25 years old, fair enough, doable, but now its just insane and itrs becoming clearer tat i'll never have that carefree love of youth.its just never going to happen, and thats really debilitating. i means thats a real sourse of depression. whats the point?

the thing is, depression is very real. and for some it can be a permanent condition. in my case its resulting in me essentially bricking myself into my house. because i can. im getting to a situation where i dont need to work, and i AM WITHDRAWING FROM SOCIERTY COMPLETLY, not voluntarily. but as a logical consequence of depression. there is no point to going out.

but its real. im a real person that actually has NO FRIENDS at all and cant go out and has no family. People just cant comprehend that. they cant understand why you dont want to go out with them for a 'nice' drink. they dont/wont understand that you dont want to join their happy families like a begger for a meal or anything. And they certainly doint understand that you hate them for their priviledges of happyness.

i think people think depressed people are droppy and lazy, sleepy. but i think that one aspect of depression especially in my case is hate. my hate is so incredibly strong that im sure i have attracted the attention of the authorities. ive been communicating this for years and in tat time ive produced some gems.

ive been depressed soince 1990. in 1996 i came up with the idea for a graph that represented a happyness limit, like the pverty line. you plot your happyness on a graph over time and put a poverty line on it. The point is i would NEVER BE ABOVE THAT LINE. i might have a day or too where i reach near it, where it looks like its getting better, but in reality i never went over it. in 1990 i was happy, and then it went down hill. i have never worked, had no friends or girl.

the thing is, you cant convey all this to normal people. You cant say, yesterday i was so depressed i had a striking headache and actually felt ill, OR whilst driving i felt so numbe that it was more like driving a dodgem car, i didnt care if i hit anything and felt like i could, like id bounce off, like a ride at disney, just floating along, no danger sense anymore, no caring. you cant say that. they just say, oh, ou should have done something to cheer yourself up.!!!! Really. KILLING YOU WOULD CHEER ME UP CAN I DO THAT? er, no.

idiots, thats what causes depression.hell is other people.

the hardest thing about depresion is sharing it. you cant. its the catch 22 of it all. its as pointless as having a society for sad waaaaankers to get together and share teir hobby. they dont want to do it. it doesnt work. if someone says to me, hi, its ok, im really depressed to, im like GO AWAY I HATE LOOSERS!!! or something like that. The point is, the last thing you want is someone relating to you.

i think the best cure is to keep busy.

depression is like a flame and you have to ourtun it. if you stop it will consime you. as suchh it means that you cant relax. you cant sit down and gaze out the window else your thoughts will soon wind up back at your crappy posiotn.

have have comics about it if anyones interested,

Originally posted by Modern Americana
reply to post by Chinesis

 

I can already feel anger, so I will just let it be.

I will say this, however, I do like to write. It is my way to put my experiences and my dreams on paper. I am immensely offended at your audacity to claim that I am writing about my friend at her "expense."

A horrible assumption on my part.
I had also assumed a person that posts a statement like yours would qualify it with
personal experiences. Please accept my most humble apology.

You are very good at writing, and just because someone says something you don't like
should not be an *OK* signal to get offended, or resort to anger (which is also a choice btw)

Originally posted by capgrupAlso, about me not having any experiences with depression... If you had read my original post here, you would have a different impression. I wont get into details further than that post because it isn't any of your damn business, but suffice it to say I have "experiences" with depression.

edit on 8-11-2010 by Modern Americana because: (no reason given)

I actually know how you feel, and for you to separate yourself from me
in the form of petty one liners like "It isn't any of your damn business"
tells me you still suffer from issues stemming from this emotional based trauma.

Your post you referenced tells me you feel you are entitled
to get angry based on your own perception of me and my opinion of you (which is adolescent in nature)

Correcting people without resorting to anger should be your focus, or one of them.

See in your case you acknowledge your problem(s)
You know the issue and you actually know your solution.
Stop fighting it.


YOU cannot control what others do.
YOU are not responsible for their action/inaction.
YOU are your own person.

No one causes you to want to commit suicide.
Putting it on your loved one is selfish in nature and does nothing for
your rehabilitation.

Nobody pushes you.
YOU push yourself, take responsibility man, really.

just a few more points. im a strange person i guess, but if you reas my above post you'll note i reffer to my graph that has a theoretical 'depession' line across it. I label myself depressed because its like a thumb has DEPRESSED me to below that line. I also associate the term depressression with suppresion. they are similar things. the govt will suppress an uprising, they will suppress it with depression. They will use psyops to make you depressed and not want to fight. but the key is depressing as a downward force, fring you down, making you feel dow, Similalry when you are bouyant, you are up. depression is like a burst bubble. the govt can prick you and deflate you. The analogies go on and on.

i say this as a few people are saying that depression doesnt exist. Well, of course, it depends on how you define it. and i have defined it above. depression is therefore an absnes of happyness. like debt is an absense of money. But the bottom line to depression is this, DO YOU FEEL LIKE SHIIIIIT (excuse sweary word) its a simple self diagnosis. do you feel unhappy? bad? and is it apermemnet condition, and is it hard to shake? You dont need a certificate to qualify for that, and thats real.

other clues include not being able to remember the last time you were happy.

personaly i can correlate what i cal govt attacks with depression. they want me out, out in their govt controlled world. but i wont go, and they induce stress to chase me out. some of that stuff causes anxiety and panic.

two examples. one is the feeling of wehat i lost. its strange, but i get this warm feeling all over, i think its anxirty. my hart rate increases. i was feeling it yesterday when considering what i could have done with my youth if i had done what the govt told me. (im still in a govt prison)

the other is a different feeling, its a panic i think, i means i cant sit still, and related to what might happen, ie, take my savings away, burn down my house oi have that i own.

the first is a strange one but readinfg some of the other posts i think it is a chemical releade. its like GUILT. its like i could have been out shagging girls but i stayed home playing with myself. i wrestle with the justification, and i know its not that easy, but it causes a warmth and and kind of alarm like im dying and burin inside

i beleive the govt have the tools to effect how you feel.

i think i can 'proove' this.

i have had experiences similar to tantric sex. mind sex. in my sleep i will almost ejaculate. they are effectin my emotions and how i feel. i think its only reasonable to assume they can do the opposite. they can project depression into a person from a distance. the interesting thing is how? We;;, it needs to come from somone that KNOWS DEPRESSION.

So, in theory, i could project depression into you, make you feel my pain. i could do it over the internet. except i dont know how.

more later maybe

one other note, depression reduces your ability to spell or give a fig.

i read ATS most days but ive never signed up.

i do like reading the mad ramblings of other weirdos

today i watched the nixon assaassination. interseting film. i think it sums up how marginalised people can really look like loosers, how they become irrational and reactionary.

When you look at some of the worst mass shootings in American history including the massacres at Columbine HS and Virginia Tech, the shooters had a history of taking psychiatric SSRI drugs. If there is any reason they are effective, it is because they do what any other drug like alcohol people use to cope with reality, they numb the pain. The only difference is that psych meds blur reality into one "happy" experience if you can all it that. People kill on these drugs without remorse and for the people who don't become cold blooded killers they become brainwashed zombies who swear by the effectiveness of fluoxetine or whatever they were prescribed. A key component to fluoxetine is fluoride. Fluoride has been shown to weaken the will. No wonder people who take this drug will swear by it-- to the profit of its manufacturers. The idea that depression is a chemical imbalance is probably one of the biggest medical misconceptions there is. There are much safer natural treatments for depression than what the drug companies have been cramming down the throats of Americans with the help of misinformed and dishonest doctors for almost a century. Nowadays depression is being treated with atypical antipsychotics and the psychiatrists who engage in such activity should no longer be allowed to practice medicine.

_________________

snippet from a news article :

. . . was prescribed lorazepam in 1984 after a panic attack.
She weaned herself off in 2007 but still suffers from
neurological pains in her head, neck and feet.
"I was running two florist shops in Essex with my husband; we
had a great social life, and life was generally fantastic.
On yet another diet, I had a panic attack at a party one night.
My doctor said there was a wonderful new drug from the US,
so I took it without asking questions. I didn't feel right straight away.
The doctor said it was my illness, increased the dose and added an anti-depressant. This went on for years, new pill after new pill.
Some days I couldn't even get out of bed.

I've seen 32 doctors but no one has said it could be the pills;
for years I believed these men in white coats and Armani suits
When I decided enough was enough, it took me 15 years to come off:
five tapered withdrawals made me loopy, hearing voices,
unable even to make tea. No human being should suffer like this.
We lost our home and our businesses. The drugs destroyed our lives."
Secret documents reveal that government-funded experts were warned nearly 30 years ago that certain drugs that were prescribed to millions of people could cause brain damage.
news source :

________________

reply to post by Chinesis


I accept your apology.

You are right, with everything you have said thus far in this thread. It is just whenever someone tries to belittle MY circumstances when in my head it has derailed my entire life always irks me. I know it all starts with me, but I still haven't gotten over it. I probably wont until something big comes along, like me starting college in the spring or the job I am trying to get this weekend.

Little things like that, combined, will be enough to make me forget, at least for a little while. And then I wont be depressed anymore, until I am a middle-aged man and living alone. Then I will have a reason to be depressed

reply to post by ofhumandescent


very good advice, and i will add more from personal experience.

those tiny little chemical messengers called hormones can make or brake you. and tension in the muscles can have far reaching effects on some of us. not all doctors will be aware of the following 2 options. but if your health is otherwise good i cant see them warning you off the following below. in the usa, some doctors are osteopaths.

a regular practice of hatha yoga postures will do wonders for the hormonal system and your general level of well being. it will also slow down the ageing process considerably. keep the spine supple with good slow stretching. the spine has no direct arterial supply of blood, so use it or lose it. do the following, regardless of how supple you are. with persistence you will gain suppleness little by little. all these postures should be held for longer and longer time intervals providing you are comfortable. you may like to start with only a half minute.
1. plough.
2. cobra.
3.with leg outstretched on floor, other foot bent in groin, reach forward and hold ankles.(name unknown)do both sides.
4, spinal twist.
5. half shoulder stand. (not if you have high blood pressure)
6. get a book and look for others.

excluding those who have arthritis in the neck, the other thing is to go to a competent osteopath or chiropractor, have your neck thoroughly softened with massage and/or muscle energy techniques, and then, and only then, have the vertebrae adjusted-especially the occipital- atlantal joint where the skull meets the 1st vertebra.

these techniques will help some of you, but maybe not all, i wish you all well and hope some will try them.

Is it possible that the medical industry is using "depression" as a tool to eliminate unwanted emotions from the people?

Here in Australia, you can too easily be diagnosed because you are feeling angry or sad. Even stating you are having a hard time coping with financial difficulties.

Eliminating these emotions will make people more productive, that is for sure.

It's seriously that bad here that a friend of mine wanted to take an audio recorder with him to appointments with doctors and "sting" them and make a documentary about how easily you can get a prescription for antidepressants, and therefore, a depression diagnosis.

That would actually be a good scientific way to find out if the medical industry is up to no good.

reply to post by PETROLCOIN


"Depression" - does not exist outside "civilization".

paimei01.blogspot.com...
www.raw-food-health.net...

If you are depressed - think like this: you are not "faulty", the machine world around is. More about the machine here:
www.primitivism.com...

The importance of this self-respect as a prime motivator of human nature can hardly be overstated; it may enable an individual to defy civilization, even in the face of the hatred of the whole modern world. When an individual acquires fundamental self-respect, then s/he will be made a fool no longer, and all the blows of civilization are nothing but the battle scars of a proud warrior. Civilization is powerless against it, because a person who has re-claimed fundamental self-respect cares nothing about the laws and standards of civilization.

This self-respect leads to genuine self-love, the second and decisive step on the path to sanity, for self-love (and happiness in large measure) consists in becoming one's own ideal again, as in childhood. This self-love eventually overflows and becomes love for others and for external nature.

And here:
paimei01.blogspot.com...

The child has to become unloving, unspontaneous. He has to deaden his sensitivity just to survive -- every child, more or less; the difference is only of degrees. Every child has to learn tricks to survive. And the basic trick is: never be spontaneous. Be formal, never be natural, because your spontaneity is bound to be punished and your formality praised, rewarded. The parents enforce a subtle strategy: they create fear in the child if he says the truth. Nobody wants the child to say the truth, and the child is not yet capable of Lying. But he has to learn."

"But they learn one thing sooner or later: that they have to be diplomatic -- with the grown-ups you can't be true, honest, sincere."

We are not just "a bunch of substances" - that can be treated with some other substances. Substances do not "feel". That is crazy. Search for "preschool depression". Unheard of - for free people. And they give those children drugs. Nobody sees the machine, the fence around.

Originally posted by slopeofyourmind
Depression is a lie and the medications used to treat it are a scam. Psychiatry is a hoax.

So says the brainwashed scientologist
Yep, I have your number my friend.
Go back to your auditing chamber and tell xenu I said hi

reply to post by Xcalibur254


I was actually laying in bed watching the end of the Sunday night football game. I did a bit more research and found out alcohol consumption can lead to what happened and I did just spend a weekend in Atlantic City celebrating my birthday with friends.

However, I still don't believe this is the trigger, as I've felt this way before just not as severe. The day it happened was actually very relaxing...watching football, eating pizza and killing my hangover with a friend or two was practically all I did.

reply to post by PETROLCOIN


Thank you so much for your help and explanations, it gave me a much better insight than the doctors at the ER did at 6:30 am after running tests and keeping me awake all night.

The particular part you spoke about regarding the muscle spasms and cramps is dead on to what I've felt in the past. I can remember several times where I would just be relaxing on the couch and would all of a sudden start to shiver, feel cold and uncontrollably shake (not violently, but more of a shiver as you described) for about 10-15 minutes. I had a slight feeling of this in my most recent attack, however the breathing and chest constriction was more prominent.

I know you said you are not a doctor, however have you found any particular techniques to nip this in the bud at the onset? If my muscles are spasming, should I take a brief jog despite the discomfort to properly use the adrenaline or is it better to attempt to convince myself that I'm perfectly fine?

I have a follow up with my doctor tomorrow evening and want to discuss it with him, however I'm not a fan of medication or prescriptions and have heard they tend to prescribe Xanax for situations like this. I've also heard that many forms of relaxation techniques are good (aroma therapy, yoga, etc) and was curious if anyone has experimented with those?

My apologies if this is not directly related to depression, but I saw this mentioned and due to the recent nature of my attack, was curious. Thank you all very much for the help, opinions and suggestions!

This is something I learned, I hope it helps quell the debate and bring some laughter also. Peace. More videos of Dr. Amen on youtube, he uses brain imagery to diagnose with a bit more exactitud the cause of the depression. Its kind of a new way of treating mental problems, like he says "psychiatrist should use technology" like brain imagery to produce more accurate diagnosis and compare images before and after treatments.

i used to want to strangle people who would tell me, Its all about perspective, Just pull up your boot straps, Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Well after 30 years of hell ten of those being medicated, i hate to say it.....but they where right. Worse yet, i am now saying the same thing although with much more understanding and compassion than those who "just don't understand"

A depressed one while having the ability to be extremely empathetic is often self absorb at the same extreme. That is part of the sickness, to only focus on self and the negative. Rejecting positive words from caring people who may...or may not understand. Perpetuating the cycle of harmful thinking which for sure screws up the chemistry. Thinking is chemistry! Screwed up thinking results in screwed up chemistry.

Getting off meds is extremely hard. Body gives up trying to make any feel good chems of its own. Took me two months of wanting to die before i saw the light. Then....i got a taste of power and actually fought like hell to get more.

Rest of story here, www.abovetopsecret.com...

i truly wish all suffering can have the same

reply to post by LoKito


Any doctor would know that at this stage of the game it would be impossible to use neuroimaging devices to regularly diagnose mental disorders. Pretty much the only places that have access to them are hospitals and the occasional university. They are almost constantly in use as it is and cost millions of dollars to operate. It simply isn't feasible to use them for clinical psychology and psychiatry, outside of research.

reply to post by The Great Day


It really is all about perspective. Most people's lives are about the same rollercoatser of ups and downs. The difference is the depressed brush away the ups, and dwell on the downs. The drugs I have taken just flatten the track and turn me into a zombie. No ups, no downs, not too much brain activity at all, can't even think straight. To beat depression you have to take control of you mind, start brushing away the downs and dwell on the ups. Once you are consciously doing this all the time, you subconscious follows.

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by The Great Day

 

It really is all about perspective. Most people's lives are about the same rollercoatser of ups and downs. The difference is the depressed brush away the ups, and dwell on the downs. The drugs I have taken just flatten the track and turn me into a zombie. No ups, no downs, not too much brain activity at all, can't even think straight. To beat depression you have to take control of you mind, start brushing away the downs and dwell on the ups. Once you are consciously doing this all the time, you subconscious follows.

True, but soooo hard when you are in the hole and can not even see the light of day.

This book really helped me to brainwash myself with positive thinking. Once i got a glimmer of light and realized i had the power, things really took off for me and i no longer fell back on "diagnosis, childhood, dad, mom, ex wife....etc. etc. " as an excuse.

Hard work ensued.

I have pretty much overcome my anxiety attacks these days (first started getting them around 99).

Interestingly my first was watching fight club, around the time the twist kicks in, I had picked it but it was like something flicked inside of me, almost like I associated with it. My hands went clamy, my heart rate went up, I got tunnel vision, started breathing heavily etc etc. Other symptoms I have had with anxiety attacks is ranting and pacing (when you start ranting against someone who is trying to help you it is quite embarrasing).

Anyway a few of my techniques for diffusing anxiety attacks are
1) laughing at how silly I am being, this started with my wife laughing at me (in a caring way of course).
2) distracting myself from the anxiety attack ie play guitar, read a book or the internet. I can't focus on doing these things, but it seems to slow the attack down.
3) any tense movie seems to be a bit of a kicker for me, so i tend watch any movie with wikipedia and imdb open. If I feel one coming on I will read facts about the movie and if it gets hardcore I read a detailed plot synopsis. Sounds weird I know, but it works.
4) The most important one to me is to realise that you are having an attack and not dying. Once you get that into your head, that is half the battle.

My triggers seem to be; health and safety concerns and tense movies. They have never been that hardcore or regular but I have on occasions called ambulances telling them I was dying, which was embarrasing.

I believe the attacks I suffer are light compared to a lot of other people, so I never seriously considered drugs to fix it. I still live with it, however my control mechanisms makes it manageable to the point of non-existence.

Originally posted by jfj123

Originally posted by HunkaHunka
Uhm... Happiness is a choice...

Some people have a harder time making that choice than others... Some don't realize that it is a choice, still others have been taught that happiness is wrong to feel...

Some forms of depression are not a choice. So you can't just choose to be happier any easier than choosing to grow wings and fly.

No matter your objective condition, you ALWAYS have the ability to CHOOSE how to respond or FEEL about it...

Don't be fooled into helplessness...