A - Fix the radio to call for help.
E - Helps C with no payment
D - Average fellow
B - Horny fellow
C - Too lazy to build her own raft
Only A was the one who's likable.
E is selfless (probably)
D is your average Joe.
B is your above average horny Joe.
C lets her emotions go wild. Not good in this type of situation.
The next day, A (Al) soon realizes that he can't get enough peace and quiet with people asking him to make a raft, catch a fish, wash a shirt, or some
other random thing every minute, so he moved his workshop somewhere else while trying to remember if he turned the stove off.
Meanwhile, E (Eli) is still "taking care" of the heartbroken C (Cathy) who's looking at the hairpin that the cheapskate D (Doug) gave her as an
anniversary gift. As for B (Bob), he's somewhere getting it on with a green monkey. Doug in the meantime has cooled his head after a nice long sleep
in his comfy hammock that was left behind by a previous inhabitant.
Doug, still in bed, looked at his right side and saw a raft. He then unwillingly got off of his hammock and used the raft that the previous
inhabitants left. Angrily he hauled the lightweight raft on the waters. "Why should this raft be a foot away from the sea?" he ungratefully thought.
Finally, after moving his muscles after years of inactivity, the raft went on the water and he begins his voyage. "Goodbye comfy hammock!" he
cried.
Doug has reached the shore after 5 minutes. Cathy greeted him sobbing, saying "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Doug, surprised, said "It's ok. Everything will
be ok." On the inside, Doug thought: "I'd never get a girl as hot as her anymore". This short term reunion was greeted by Bob, who just came out of a
small jungle grinning with his new non-human lover on hand. Doug confronted Bob shouting "How dare you lay a hand on my girlfriend!". Bob just
answered by flexing his biceps and wimpy Doug walked back to Cathy with his tail between his legs.
Unbeknownst to everyone, Eli never liked vegetables and fruits ever since he was a kid and he had no such luck with seafoods because he's allergic to
everything that came from the sea. What Eli prefers though is meat. Fresh, red meat [I think you know where this is heading]. Eli gazes at the two
pairs of lovers Doug and Cathy, Bob and the green monkey from his little hut with knife and fork on hand.
Al, remembered that he wasn't alone on the island and gathered some food and freshwater and brought it to his comrades. He said to them "Here are your
supplies, just holler if you need some more", then quickly disappeared to his workshop on the far side of the island. Doug and Cathy dug in, while Bob
hand feeds the green monkey with choice bananas that Al picked for them. Strangely enough, Eli didn't come out of his hut to join the others.
After a hearty feast, Doug and Bob had a smoke c/o some local 5 fingered leaves they found while Cathy and Greenie played around. This is when Eli
came out of his hut with desserts (washed ashore that he had deviously picked-up beforehand). He lured Cathy in with a trail of candies to a secluded
location and cooked her on the spot. "THIS is a hearty feast", he exclaimed to himself.
Doug was wondering where Cathy was and called out for her. Alas, there was no reply. "Maybe she just wanted a long walk", he thought, and slept.
The next morning: Cathy was still nowhere to be found. Too lazy to look for her, he looked for Al and asked him to make a hammock. Doug, in his
insincerely annoying nasal voice said: "Please, please, please, pretty please. to Al. "NO!", Al shouted. Doug went on and on for hours until Al got
fed up and made Doug a hammock. Doug then said to Al: "Please tie this up for me. Please. Pretty Please". "NO!" shouted Al. Doug became annoying
again, and Al wanting to just work in peace tied Doug's hammock and went back to work.
Doug was napping away in his new hammock while Bob and Greenie are playing around somewhere. Eli wants to eat Doug so he laid a candy trail to bait
Doug. Unfortunately for Eli, Doug only eats Raspberry flavored candies so he didn't fall for the trap. Eli, disappointed, tried to lure in the two
lovebirds (Bob and Greenie) instead and it worked without a hitch. What resulted was a Bob and Greenie stew. "Could use a bit more salt", he
thought.
The next day, Eli is hungry so he placed a bonfire underneath Doug's hammock. Doug being lazy doesn't want to move and was roasted alive. "A bit bony
but still MEAT!", he shouted ecstatically as he munched away at Doug's face.
Meanwhile, Al finally finished the radio and called for help. The coast guard asked for his whereabouts and coincidentally, he made a gps out of his
watch while repairing the radio thus making the coast guard's life much easier.
A few hours later, the coast guard came and Al greeted them. Al asked Eli where the three other castaways were. Eli replied with a smile while rubbing
his tummy and saying "mmmmmm". Al asked the coastguards: "Did you bring some real food with you? We're sick of fruits and fishes". The coastguard
said, yeah, we have some burgers at the back. They proceeded inside the ship and ate.
After an artery-clogging meal, the two survivors went on deck. Looking afar, Al muttered to himself: "I hope my wife turned off the stove" while Eli.
on his side with a mouthful of hamburger beef shouted "MEAT!" as they sailed away in the Caribbean sunset.
edit on 16-10-2010 by Unregistered
because: MEAT!