Misogyny: Ruining the Female Male Relationship(esp. in the digital age)

Originally posted by Sherlock Holmes

Originally posted by kosmicjack
I do think misogyny is alive in well in the 21st century, fueled by the pervasive creep of porn into virtually everything, causing men to both lust for and disrespect women at the same time.

And who's fault is that ?

If misogyny and disrespectful attitudes towards women are being fuelled by porn, then there wouldn't be a problem if thousands upon thousands of women weren't prepared to degrade themselves in exchange for a couple of hundred bucks, whether it be through porn, stripping, or ''exotic dancing''.

Women are there own worst enemies !

I think it is more of a consumption issue, ultimately a woman would not choose this field if it were not lucrative which means full of consumers waitintg to consume a popular product. Who are those consumers? men.

reply to post by mamabeth

You forgot that diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Yes, blood diamonds, mined by downtroden peoples working for a evil multinational conglomerate.

Since it is painfully obvious that your break up
was recent.Are you going to blame all women
for what SHE did to you?

It was 4 years ago and I thought it was pretty obvious I was.

Are you going to punish
the next woman you get involved with and make HER
pay?

Punish? Hell no, I have learned from my mistake and will never willingly date another one of those horrid creatures ever again. And if I do for some reason loose my mind and actually get involved with the more evil sex, I will be sure to put a lawyer on retainer.

There's a natural arrangement (or there was) called marriage that has natural incentives, roles, and social function. This was undermined by a variety of different factors, most notably The Welfare Reform Act of 1996. This draconian and ill-considered legislation really did undermine both marriage and the male/female relationship. By removing the economic incentive to both get married and stay married, it ensured that fewer women feel the necessity to marry in order to have a child, or stay married in order to raise it. This has created a power imbalance that is reflected in the relationship itself. While in the past, the relationship itself had intrinsic value, and a clear economic rationale, these days men are not considered necessary, only their wallets are. Thank you, overreaching, socially engineering, blind-to-the-effects-of-your-meddling, Government! I don't blame the women, by the way, organisms behave the way their environment encourages. It is unnatural to expect men to be the guardians of female chastity! That's not how it's worked for hundreds of thousands of years. Men are programmed to spread their dna far and wide. Women are programmed to provide an economically stable environment for their children (in the past this meant finding a good mate) and the dance between the two is supposed to end in the compromise of marriage (with prostitution and extramarital affairs as overflow valves).

Women and men cannot have sexual relationships of equality unless they are past their reproductive ages. The rather compelling feminine wiles are relatively weak compared to the strong arm of the government. The problem is merely labeled with terms like "feminism" and misogyny" but ultimately it has very little to do with attitudes and everything to do with engineered economic reality.

reply to post by whatukno


Your voice of reason has deserted you....

I only mention this , in case you did not see it sneak away...

If you believe this way then you have the wrong girl. The internet will never be more interesting to me than my girl. You simply have to get lucky and find the one.

reply to post by whatukno


AH,I see from your avatar that you joined 4 years ago,
is there a connection between your break up and your
membership here?
You can tell Mama all about it,trust me

I have to say that in the US materialism is destroying the bonds between the male and the female aspects of our species. I can't really speak for the rest of the world but it appears that way in the US. Personally I don't think there is as much destruction in western europe both genders seem pretty comfortable with their roles over there. but the US is dismal. especially the major cities. Having grown up in Los Angeles I can tell you that it's most likely the worst here than anywhere in the US>

how quaint a tit for tat thread i was under the impression, obviously erroneously as a mod has posted in the thread, that tit for tat threads weren't allowed.

as for the thread, either women are equal or they're not. they can't have it both ways, where a man takes care of them in some situations, but in other situations is sexism. and to be honest all the versus threads are getting old....like old old, so old they'll never be married old. stop being offended by every petty thing people.

reply to post by hotbakedtater

I think it is more of a consumption issue, ultimately a woman would not choose this field if it were not lucrative which means full of consumers waitintg to consume a popular product. Who are those consumers? men.

All you do is blame men.

You never expect women to take responsibilities for their actions.

If women want to be equal...they need to start taking responsibility for their actions...and not just blaming men for all their problems.

Originally posted by 547000
I disagree, I think it is sexism and what the media teaches children from a young age that ruins the relationship.

Both misogyny and misandry.

I wish I could just say bravo and leave it at that.
I does take two to tango.
But in a world that teaches instant gratification, it will never happen.

Originally posted by whatukno
reply to post by mamabeth

 

You forgot that diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Yes, blood diamonds, mined by downtroden peoples working for a evil multinational conglomerate.

Since it is painfully obvious that your break up
was recent.Are you going to blame all women
for what SHE did to you?

It was 4 years ago and I thought it was pretty obvious I was.

Are you going to punish
the next woman you get involved with and make HER
pay?

Punish? Hell no, I have learned from my mistake and will never willingly date another one of those horrid creatures ever again. And if I do for some reason loose my mind and actually get involved with the more evil sex, I will be sure to put a lawyer on retainer.

Hahaha I think I loveyou!!

reply to post by hotbakedtater


I personally think you're a raging feminist who just got really upset over the other post you're trying to counter here. As another posted pointed out, typical...instead of trying to make things even, you simply try to take control and make yourself out to look better (or in this case, more mistreated).

Every woman perpetuates misogyny as much as the next woman. As a young man I see it EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. You go out and one girl is dressed like more of a hooker than the next girl you see. You're simply degrading yourselves FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of attracting men, which would prove, inevitably, that you equate your self-worth with the ability to physically attract a male. As if that isn't enough, of the VARIOUS girls I meet, not one has ever said to me "was that conversation more stimulating than the last girl you dated?" vs. "was that sexual encounter more stimulating that the last girl?" Because that is what you care about; who's hotter, who's better in bed, who looks better in that skirt, etc etc.

Yes, I also understand this is not true for EVERY woman out there, but I don't see any girls telling any of their girlfriends to not wear that skirt b/c it's too short....

Originally posted by whatukno
That is EXACTLY what women do. Men do want to do "male stuff" but a married man is curtailed by the wife. The wife is the bane of any and all "male stuff" as it has been said, a wife wants to take any fun a man has into the woods and shoot it dead. This is the reason that women marry men.

Are you serious with this crap?

Is this why I helped my husband change the wheel on his motorcycle? Is this why I did everything possible, including putting my projects on hold, to use my organizing skills to support my husband in having a great motorcycle camping vacation by himself? Is this why I do everything I possibly can to encourage him to have fun and do what HE wants with his extra time? Is this why I've been doing this for the 18 years that we've been married??? Because I'm the bane of all things male and want to kill any fun he might have?

The fact that I do all these things so that HE can be happy seems to fly in the face of your assessment of women above. It REALLY sounds like you hate women. Maybe you've had some bad relationships but haven't we all? That's no reason to say some of the things you have in your paragraph above about women. IMO.

Great post friend,

you have done some great work. I must disagree with your point on misogyny. It is a lack of respect that has led to the poor relationship between the sexes. In our own relationships as soon as the contempt sets in grab your coat and get out. I am a man. I can cook was clean , look after small children and domestics pets. I am alo an experieinced martial artis ( full contact) and also ex-military. n(two continents). Things can get heated but where there is respect for each other things can get better. Now to my mind respect includes equality and support for equality.

I have been in situations where I have asked whether the woman I was with respected me. The funniest thing was that those that did not had to go. 95% wanted to get back with me as they realised that they were wrong on not respecting me. Respecting a person does not mean being terrified by them or being their slave or anything else. There have to be rules in an arguement. Calling me a typical man in an arguement does not cut it. Deal with my actions and deal with the specific issue. Anything else just means disrespect by hearding you into a sterotype.

My wife knows more about cars and driving than I do and I don't feel diminished at all. I am a better mathematician and can throw a better side kick ..

my 2cts

Ok, I know what the problem is here!

Yes, men in the past, have hated women, suppressed them, and always had power over them. However, As modern day has come about, women have gained back all of these things. They are treated equally, at least here in western countries. However, there will always be men still brought up with traditional values, same with women, so there will always be a hate for women that is unavoidable. However, there is a bigger problem here.

Women have fought through hell to get where they are today. It has taken them centuries to gain the right they have now, and be treated equally. But now that they have these rights, they still act like they dont. They still expect the man to make the first move. They still expect to be wined and dined and treated like a princess. They still expect the man to take the lead and so on. Well that is the problem. Women must start assuming the role of the alpha female more. They should make first moves, and not be afraid to take a guy out. Men are being feminized, but women have yet to be masculinized....To be equal, we have to either erase masculinity and femininty completely, and come up with a new equal concept. Or, there needs to be an equal mix of both. Finding a woman that will make the first move is next to impossible. Women expect guys to come to them, they use their looks, to attract guys. They need to start using their looks, in a more aggressive manner. Women need to rise to the challenge of their new responsibilities. Otherwise, they should go back to raising kids and cooking in the kitchen. Half the men, are more like women, they won't make a move because they're too shy, because they're afraid of women. They see a hard working gal, that looks independant, but then expect him to make all the moves? It's confusing for guys, and I say that from experience.

That is the problem, between male and female relationships.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Yes! The PERFECT example!

You think by doing what you have done (helping your husband with his bike and encouraging him) you somehow, deserve a pat on the back or recognition. For what? Allowing him to enjoy time with his friends? Lending a hand as a male does, so-often around the house with someone you cannot accomplish alone?

Look how DESPERATE you are to be given the thumbs up and have one of your friends say to you "you treat that man like a king".

You think his extra time should be spent on what? You? Why? Tell me, do you spend your extra time ONLY doing things for him? And I also have this sinking feeling that all of his free time is not devoted to himself, meaning he does things with/for you as well.

FURTHER perpetuating misogyny by attempting to make yourself look like the ultimate wife...

I am a proud woman. But I am not a feminist in the sense that I have seen. I see the feminist movement not as equal treatment but more of: we are superior to men, trash men, they all suck and so on. And I do not support that movement at all. I believe women and men are equal on most things. I support equal pay, etc. But I think the feminist movement hurts women more than helps them in many ways. I also think that men are probably more afraid of women now. God forbid they compliment a women - lawsuit of harassment may happen. Or God forbid they open a door for a woman and she screams at him "Im a woman! I can do it myself!"

I do not believe that misogyny is ruining relationships. If that were to be true than I would say that ultra feminists are equally to blame in the destruction of relationships. But reality is, relationships are destroyed for various reasons, each one being unique. Im sure there is enough blame to throw at women, as there is men.

I have never experienced misogyny on a personal level in my 30+ years. I demand respect from men and women. And I get it. I have worked in offices where I was the only female. I have worked in health/fitness clubs were people where more concerned with their looks than they were about anything else in their life. I have been called all those terms of endearment a zillion times. I have heard all the cat calls, the comments, the propositions, etc. So what?! I see it more as a compliment than an insult. And I can handle it accordingly. I actually dont care if a male I know calls me babe or whatever. Im a big girl and I can handle it. I can also dish it out and do at times. I think many women need to chill out and losen up a bit. Women need to take responsiblity for their own lives, their own actions and stop blaming men for everything. As a women, I find that very weak and certainly nothing equal about it. Those are not the women I stand with. Maybe this is why I prefer to hang out with the boys more than groups of women. Every time I hang out with a bunch of women, all they do is trash men and talk like they are at fault for everything.

Ive never been discriminated against for being a woman. Ive never been held back in life for being a woman. I want a job, I get it regardless of me being a woman. Relationships Ive had that failed, failed because of various things but misogyny was not ever one of them. Some even failed because it was my fault *gasp*. I also have never been called a feminazi - never! I speak my mind on these forums. Ive never been treated badly because im a female member. Ive never been challenged because im a female.

With all that said, yes it does exist. Some guys are just plain jerks and treat all women like crap. But I do not believe that is the majority. I have seen so many women have the most rotten attitude and trash men continually and I think: you are the actual problem, not him.

Stop blaming men and stand up and take responsiblity for yourself (you in general). Sometimes our very attitude is what holds us back - not someone else.

Originally posted by whatukno
r
Punish? Hell no, I have learned from my mistake and will never willingly date another one of those horrid creatures ever again. And if I do for some reason loose my mind and actually get involved with the more evil sex, I will be sure to put a lawyer on retainer.

Man why are you giving this woman (your ex ) so much personal power? If she is as bad as you claim then she must be laughing at how bad she hurt ya. You seem to be hurting to me. I am not attacking you or dissing you.
Do man up and get out there.


Get out there and live and stop being such a..... Anyway all you need to do is to state clearly what your standards are and just how you choose to live any woman you desire. If she matches your views say "Hurrah!!" Is she disagreees say "Next please!" then say "Ladies form a queue and quit shoving". There is a woman out there within your horizon. Now if you want Botoxand or breast augmented creatures you are an idiot because you have followed Hollywierd!

Have a great day

edit on 13-9-2010 by tiger5 because: (no reason given)