Misogyny: Ruining the Female Male Relationship(esp. in the digital age)

Unsurprising that a thread about misogyny would appear after a thread critical of Feminism was posted. I'm sure you will get a bunch of flags and stars from fellow Feminists and echo-Feminists alike, but your "misogynist" label will not deter those opposed to Feminist Indoctrination from speaking up on the issue.

Originally posted by ChrisCrikey
One thing I find increasingly alarming is the incredible demands and expectations men and boys have in regards to sex. I see this in media and in comedy shows and I am so glad I am not dating. While I realize there's a lot of pressure on men too it's nothing compared to the invasive nature of things now being demanded of women and certain acts which in the past have been thought of as exceptional, special or very rare are now routinely or daily demanded by men. I hope this is not truly the reality in most relationships...I find many of these acts demeaning to women and suggesting a more brutal type of dominance desired by men.

I too see this as a sad problem, and there is only one way to combat it, with proper parenting and upbringing. Be honest how many parents here really sat down with their male children and discussed pornography?

reply to post by hotbakedtater


Great thread, tater.

I'm not so sure it's actually misogyny that is ruining relationships, though. I don't think men HATE women. I think there is a large portion of men who are afraid of, threatened by and jealous of feminism itself.

Feminism: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

Men have been in power for so long that equality of the sexes is a threat that many of them are not willing to face. This can appear to be hatred of women and can grow into hatred of women, but remember, the driving force behind hatred is fear. What they hate is the possibility that women will have as much political, economic and social power as they do and have for many, many years.

It's similar to the people who are "afraid" that soon, whites will be in the minority. They wonder what we will do then! They think something terrible is going to happen because whites are no longer the dominant race. I don't want to turn this thread into something about race, but it's a similar fear, I think.

Now, I'm not speaking of all men here. I'm married to a feminist and he's 100% supportive of and committed to equality of the sexes and equality in our relationship. And, as we know, there are plenty of women who "don't mind" the inequality of the sexes and are happy to be in 'second position' in their homes. So, I'm not speaking of all men or all people.

One thing I want to mention is that men (IN GENERAL) spend their 'fun money' on things that serve them. Cars, "toys", electronics, video games, computers, motorcycles, etc. They buy things to please themselves. Women (again, generally speaking) spend their money on stuff to make them more attractive to men. Their hair, nails, clothes, make-up, shoes, tummy tucks, etc. They ALSO do things to please the men. If women turned their attention from being attractive to pleasing THEMSELVES... I wonder how the relational dynamic would shift. It probably would "ruin" some relationships... and some men would blame feminism.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
Beginning with religion, which oppresses women, and causes the whore/virgin phenomenon

Religion exaggerates the whore/virgin idea, but it did not create it.

The cause is biological and social.

Sex equals babies, and if a woman is sleeping around with men that she hardly knows, and who may not stay with her if she gets pregnant, then it is to the inevitable detriment of society.

Women are biologically inclined to be more sexually selective, and it seems that there is a large amount of media encouragement and peer-pressure, for a girl to become sexually active.

Although it would be impossible to find out, I'd love to know the percentage of criminals and delinquents that were conceived outside of a steady relationship. I think the figures would be quite breathtaking.


This is especially dangerous, as at that age most children think ''it won't happen to me'' when they are indulging in an activity that most adults would take a little more time to consider the risks of partaking in.

There's also the long-term effect of a woman being a slut; no man wants to have a serious relationship with a woman that's been around the block many times over.

So, if a woman has slept around in her younger, carefree days, she'll probably live to regret it by the time she gets to the wrong side of 30, when her sexual attractiveness usually starts to go downhill, and she wants to settle down with someone, but no respectable man will have her because of her ''reputation''.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
where to this day some women still have to tolerate being called Sunshine and Honey Baby while on the clock, misogyny is alive and well, and ruining relationships all over the globe.

This is only offensive to those who spend their waking hours looking to be offended.

Flirtation is usual in most workplaces, and calling people suggestive terms of endearment is harmless banter.

It happens to me, and I'm a man ( although I've never been called ''honey baby'', much to my disappointment ).

The only time it's wrong to do this is if the recipient of your flirting is uncomfortable or unhappy with it. Most people have good enough judgement, to be able to tell when it is and isn't appropriate to say this, though.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
Misogyny is the hatred of women.

Every day, more and more people are turning to their internets for entertainment and brain exercise, especally after a long day of work, and little extra money to go out much any more.

''Misogyny'' is one of those words like ''racism'', that is thrown around so flippantly, erroneously, and at such an alarming regularity, that it takes the sting out of its genuine use.

It's like the parable of the ''boy who cried wolf''.

I don't mind admitting that some of my views may be considered as ''male chauvinist'' or even sexist, by some, but I certainly don't hate women.

I am against all forms of hate against people, because of something that they can't help, or have no control over.

To me, labelling someone a ''misogynist'' is just an attempt to make someone feel bad, and derail any conversation that the accuser is uncomfortable with.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
What I see as a huge ruin to the future of male female relationships is the high incidence of misogyny being displayed on a lot of message boards where both sexes post.

Maybe you just see it more, because you're female ?

I see plenty of male bashing on ATS, too, but that is also probably because I am more likely to spot it.

There seems to be quite even numbers of male and female contributors on ATS, so every thread on gender relations is usually ''six of one, and half a dozen of the other'' in terms of name-calling, and people crossing the line.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
Here we have a thread in which a misogynistic Judge declares that a woman wearing skinny jeans could not have been rapoed due to the skinny jeans.

I haven't read the replies to that thread, but from the story itself, it was actually members of the jury that made this query.

It wasn't the direct reason the defendant was acquitted.

Skinny jeans are very difficult to take off, even when it's a willing participant, so I don't see any problem with the question that the jurors asked.

Again, maybe you are looking for there to be ''misogyny'' when there isn't any there ?

Would you have been equally offended, if the question was about whether a guy with a tight-fitting t-shirt or vest could have it removed against his will ?

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
This thread, which claims Rape is the Fault of the Victim], (note the ironic date the initial post was made), should be required reading for anyone who wants a clear picture of misogyny in action.

Again, I haven't read the replies, but the article clearly states that more women than men blamed the woman for rape.

How does this fit in with your idea of ''misogyny'' ?

Are the women that were polled all ''misogynists'', too ?

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
There are women posters here, all over the internet. When we speak up in defense of our gender, we are called feminazis. We are told we are harping on, bitching moaning groaning whining complaining.

No, there is a specific kind of woman that is a ''feminazi'', and they are usually to tell by the content and manner of their posts.

On the other thread, there were plenty of posters ( both male and female ) that made perfectly reasonable and valid defences of genuine feminism ( ie, Full social equality between genders ).

If truth be told, most men aren't against feminism, but dislike the ''feminazis'' !

Excellent points, BH.

I particularly agree with the sentiment that men are threatened by feminism.

However as we look at our world, we see how threatened people soon embrace hatred (terrorism, Muslims, etc.).

It is a fine line many many men walk between being envious and threatened by a female secure in the power of her essence, and an outright misogynist.

reply to post by SearchLightsInc

In that case, the weak male should have picked a better mate to marry. But i guess in your eyes a man can do no wrong, eh?

Men are stupid. We can't help it, and yes men can screw up. Women know this and take advantage of that fact at all times.

Women have rules that they never publish, if men were able to get a hold of these rules, we probably would be better in a relationship, however, as it stands, we are walking on a minefield. Where anything and everything can and does screw us.

Originally posted by whatukno
Women will not be happy till any masculine activity or belief is totally and completely destroyed.

I tend to think this says more about the type of women you date than women in general.

I, for one, love all the things about my husband that are uber-male. He's never more sexy than when he is sweaty from conquering some epic yard work, taming a beast of an engine or swaggers home, victorious in some other worldly endeavor, and just want's to get it on and eat dinner, not necessarily in that order.

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
Unsurprising that a thread about misogyny would appear after a thread critical of Feminism was posted. I'm sure you will get a bunch of flags and stars from fellow Feminists and echo-Feminists alike, but your "misogynist" label will not deter those opposed to Feminism from speaking up on the issue.

edit on 13/9/2010 by Dark Ghost because: formatting

You are absolutely correct, DG, I was greatly inspired by the Feminism thread, and wanted to explore the topic from a different viewpoint.

It is part of what makes membership on web boards fun, the being able to participate and speak up on issues dear to their heart.

Feel free to do so yourself.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

One thing I want to mention is that men (IN GENERAL) spend their 'fun money' on things that serve them. Cars, "toys", electronics, video games, computers, motorcycles, etc. They buy things to please themselves. Women (again, generally speaking) spend their money on stuff to make them more attractive to men. Their hair, nails, clothes, make-up, shoes, tummy tucks, etc. They ALSO do things to please the men. If women turned their attention from being attractive to pleasing THEMSELVES... I wonder how the relational dynamic would shift. It probably would "ruin" some relationships... and some men would blame feminism.

This is an excellent point! From my experience some women tend to rely on others for their happiness whereas men are more inclined to go get it themselves.

Your OP was wonderful and its right on! The inequality and keeping the femine energies of equality, world equality, substantive (equalizing all circumstances and valuing work of equal value as needed including child care, and equal living from it), and cooperation (far more valuable to survival of the species from the majority view point, by the way by age 20, 52% is female according to the stats than dog eat dog, pyramid system, survival of the fittest), down and in a box, even under a burka for some, to try and keep the slave pryramid war machine system up and running. Oh did I mention that wide awake, intuitive women don't support wars either, they tend to see all children in the world as their own children.

Misogyny is the biggest ruining of relationships but also is one of the biggest reasons our world is the way it is too, and billions are suffering.

Equality is the answer and equal meshing of energies.

reply to post by kosmicjack

I tend to think this says more about the type of women you date than women in general.

Actually I have stopped dating women altogether, I don't need the headache, and I certainly don't need the bull [snip].

I, for one, love all the things about my husband that are uber-male. He's never more sexy than when he is sweaty from conquering some epic yard work, taming a beast of an engine or swaggers home, victorious in some other worldly endeavor and just want's to get it on.

Yes, I know how it is, you con him into doing manual labor for your benefit, you seduce him using your feminine wilds, he is of course powerless to fight it. Wanting only your happiness, he ignorantly and faithfully obeys your every evil whim to gain your approval.

Oh I know it well, it's a vicious and evil thing women do.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Or it could be that women tend to be more insecure than men in regards to recognition and compliments from a third party perspective. You say that women tend to spend their money trying to please men, but is this because men tell them to or is it because their feelings of insecurity threaten the confidence of the relationship they are in?

Originally posted by kosmicjack
I, for one, love all the things about my husband that are uber-male.

After reading this paragraph, I wondered how many men get similarly excited when their woman has just finished mopping the floor or doing the laundry...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/cfe7bf570de5.jpg[/atsimg]

Unless, of course, she's dressed in revealing clothes or a cute little maid's costume...

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

I wondered how many men get similarly excited when their woman has just finished mopping the floor or doing the laundry.

Women don't do that That's just a fairy tale that men hear. I suppose you want us to believe that women cook too!

Where are these mythical women? I certainly haven't found any. I doubt seriously that these women actually exist.

Women cleaning and doing laundry That's a good one!

Originally posted by Dark Ghost
You say that women tend to spend their money trying to please men, but is this because men tell them to or is it because their feelings of insecurity threaten the confidence of the relationship they are in?

It's because of social conditioning. Things like that take a lot of thought, time and social progress to overcome. We are moving in that direction, but we have a long way to go. For example, I don't spend money on ANY of those things that most women do. I buy expensive dogs, and tend to their needs, I buy art supplies, fabric, and other gear that serves ME and makes my life happy. So does my husband. We are equals.

reply to post by March of the Fire Ants


i would say the same is true (lots of components in the problem, broad stereotypes abused, solution proposed and begins to actually work, and then WHAM, the whole thing gets blown out of proportion and the cycle repeats itself) for the black vs. white issue as well.

reply to post by whatukno


Hey for those of us who don't want to spend the money to pay someone to do it, yes, we do housework. I've spent this morning washing the bathroom walls and cupboards in preparation to paint (which I will also do because I like it). There are plenty of us who do windows.

I think this male/female quid pro quo is getting old.

I'll lay out some points before I speak my mind about the topic.

- Women should never have had to fight to be treated equally under the law. Period
- Feminism isn't strictly the domain of the positive/defensive, it also houses many grade A man-haters

So, the problem with the male/female relationship is entirely too multi-faceted to lay blame entirely in any one area since it has been a problem since man first started talking to woman.

The problem is language.

Sure, the rise of the independent woman has created a bit of a confusing situation for men, which can account for some of the anger men might show. Women now enjoy quite a large variety of choices in how they interact with the world, which creates a large variety of women.

All in all, this is a stupid argument just as much as discussing the evils/virtues of feminism.

Personally, I don't think women want to be equal to men under the law, but only in the areas they want. Equal under the law, in my mind, is that legislatively, there would be no distinction to gender. I've discussed this in greater length in other threads, so I won't repeat myself.

Peace
KJ

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

Hey for those of us who don't want to spend the money to pay someone to do it, yes, we do housework. I've spent this morning washing the bathroom walls and cupboards in preparation to paint (which I will also do because I like it). There are plenty of us who do windows.

Obvious Amazonian propaganda, designed to fool men into thinking they will too find a woman who does these things. But there are those of us who know the truth, that woman are evil creatures never to be trusted. This is why they separate the man and women for sex ed classes, in the women's sex ed the education is how to use your feminine wilds to completely destroy and bankrupt a man. It is of course every woman's ultimate goal.

I for one will not be fooled again. I know the truth.

reply to post by KrazyJethro


Is it getting old now because the topic is misogyny vs. feminism?

I have not run across many threads discussing the topic from the misogyny angle, most threads I run across are against feminism, then combust into straight up female bashing.