Women Abuse... Would You?

Originally posted by sweetliberty

Originally posted by reesie45

Originally posted by LuckyMe777
reply to post by reesie45

 

Of course but there are woman who abuse men too, but nobody seems to care about that. What i find is unbelieveable is that if men are physically stronger, why the hell dont they stop the girl?

EXACTLY Thats why I said, Men need to man up. I think they are emotionally unstable and the female makes them feel so low that they dont even defend themselves.

As for emotionally unstable: I say it's the woman (as per your post) that is the emotionally unstable one here! ....to quote you "the female makes them feel so low that they dont even defend themselves."

HUH? No, the woman who "makes" a man feel low is the one unstable.

As for: "man up"! Let me tell you, you don't want to say that in the face of a man who has put up with a mouthy woman! With ONE "man up" moment, he could hit a woman ONCE and kill her instantly.

I tell my son if a female is aggressive and becoming violent, he is to block any blows but not to hit her unless he feels she will kill him (if she has a weapon, et) But that he is to get away from her FAST! Then if need be, report this to the police right away.

Men can't just "man up" in the way you and LuckyMe777 seem to referring to.
To man up is to lose the drama queen and real fast. That includes making sure they (the man) always has at least one witness if they are in close proximity of each other. Keeping himself out of trouble and NOT "manning up" to the female abuser IS being a man.

edit to add Im female and not anti woman at all, I just think that old school language is not very smart and could be misinterrupted (as I may have done) to be a challange.


[edit on 22-7-2010 by sweetliberty]

What I meant was, to not sit there like a little B***h and take it, I meant for the man to simply show he has feeling, not to hurt the woman, just to speak up for once.

reply to post by reesie45


I wouldn't speak either if someone was so angry or emotional as to stoop to calling me names and attempting to force me to talk, only to know already it didn't matter what I would say, the aggressor would find fault in it too.

On the other hand. If I wanted someone to talk to me, I would realize I needed to back up and reassess the situtation, my approach and my words. I would do a "self check" and try to figure out why I'm so intent on being the REAL B***h here. Why am I so angry/emotional.

In my area it can get you shot. Tooo many thugs and gang members, and you don't know who is carrying a gun.


I agree with the poster. Support womens shelters, help with reach out, Carry cards and numbers of places to go with you. Even a cell phone, in the US any cell can call 911. Doesn't have to have a contract.

The beating is just a symptom. Best way to stop it is to help the cause.

How about this....
Nobody should take crap from another person. That is if they are able to stop them,

reply to post by nixie_nox



Well im sure most of the feminists would think that there should be men shelters too so they can hide from the abusive crazy women.

Originally posted by LuckyMe777
How about this....
Nobody should take crap from another person. That is if they are able to stop them,

And if they aren't there's plenty of REAL men out there that will. That's a fact.

Originally posted by LuckyMe777
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

Well im sure most of the feminists would think that there should be men shelters too so they can hide from the abusive crazy women.

Do you mean to say men don't need a place to regroup?
I don't think the feminists are that rigid as I understand them to be of equal rights, not female rights only.

Originally posted by sweetliberty

Originally posted by reesie45

Originally posted by LuckyMe777
reply to post by reesie45

 

Of course but there are woman who abuse men too, but nobody seems to care about that. What i find is unbelieveable is that if men are physically stronger, why the hell dont they stop the girl?

EXACTLY Thats why I said, Men need to man up. I think they are emotionally unstable and the female makes them feel so low that they dont even defend themselves.

As for emotionally unstable: I say it's the woman (as per your post) that is the emotionally unstable one here! ....to quote you "the female makes them feel so low that they dont even defend themselves."

HUH? No, the woman who "makes" a man feel low is the one unstable.

As for: "man up"! Let me tell you, you don't want to say that in the face of a man who has put up with a mouthy woman! With ONE "man up" moment, he could hit a woman ONCE and kill her instantly.

I tell my son if a female is aggressive and becoming violent, he is to block any blows but not to hit her unless he feels she will kill him (if she has a weapon, et) But that he is to get away from her FAST! Then if need be, report this to the police right away.

Men can't just "man up" in the way you and LuckyMe777 seem to referring to.
To man up is to lose the drama queen and real fast. That includes making sure they (the man) always has at least one witness if they are in close proximity of each other. Keeping himself out of trouble and NOT "manning up" to the female abuser IS being a man.

edit to add Im female and not anti woman at all, I just think that old school language is not very smart and could be misinterrupted (as I may have done) to be a challange.

Liberty, I have to agree with you 100% here. You absolutely correct that no one, especially a stranger woman should mouth off to a man about mouthing up, especially when he is already having to deal with that.

It is being more of a man to "keep himself out of trouble" as you put it than getting himself into it.

As for a man, there is no reason except for defending himself that he should fight back to a woman. And you would definitely want a witness. Or get to one as quickly as possible. I think your giving your son really good advice there.

Very nicely put Liberty.

reply to post by LuckyMe777


Actually there are a lot of men who also suffer abusive relationships.

A 1997 survey conducted among dating couples showed almost 30% of women admitting that they had used some form of physical aggression against their male partners within the dating cycle. This runs counter to official documentation of female abuse against men.

link

Trying to find information on it however it not easy, as men rarely report it. But it happens.

I worked with a guy who was in a very abusive marriage. he even went to support groups. He finally left the relationship when he landed in the ER after she beat him with a pipe.

Is this really that wide spread of a phenomenon, I have never seen a situation were it got to be that bad as to actually come to blows, I have seen some come to screams a couple of times once at a lake in summer were apparently this one dude who was there with some girl, had a girlfriend who followed him incognito and from there conversation it was a cheaters type of thing confrontation and "why are you here with this slut" type of thing. I remember one black dude with his girl there tried to interfere and be a hero, and I was thinking dam dude this ain't the place or time to be a hero this situation will happen sooner or later in this supposed couples relationship. The funny thing is after the dude got caught and was like sorry told the girl he came there with to take a hike, the loud female that got cheated on took him back and it was all goody goody from there between them, they even chilled at the lake for a while and left. But there was no actual blows or any abuse other then the sleeping around kind.

Anyways that situation in the op's vid is not realistic no real abuser or anybody on a power trip would go off like that in a public place, most that I have sensed would go miles to avoid a thing like that, so how would one know who is abused and who is abuser, I don't think its all cookie cutter like that vid shows. But if it is, "disclaimer". "I am not advising anybody being a hero, in fact one should go out of his way to avoid having to be a hero being a hero is not a good for you, and it sucks and usually ends bad". But if that situation happens I cant believe no one just clocked the dude and called the cops that was not a old lady or little kid, either way it's going to end bad for the victim might ass well make sure it ends bad for the abuser too when the cops get there, hopefully the victim knows a little of the law to pursue this thing, but then again if she knew most likely the dude would be in court or paying child support or something, its the least one could do and the only thing that is realistic to ask anyone, because everybody got's there problems and I don't think they could exactly take care of a distressed stranger/victim. I mean don't hurt him/abuser just you know knock him out or break his arm or leg if he does not comply to reason, and let the cops sort it out and if he pulls out a gun or knife then get rid of him he just gave you probable cause for termination in most courts, and if you can don't stick around for the cops these things usually give you more trouble then worth most likely you will be sued and waste time and money on this. So like I said don't be a hero....the only heroes are in graves.

To the op you say you were on the receiving end of abuse, what do you hope to say with this, what was your situation the same as that in the vid?

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by LuckyMe777

 

Actually there are a lot of men who also suffer abusive relationships.

A 1997 survey conducted among dating couples showed almost 30% of women admitting that they had used some form of physical aggression against their male partners within the dating cycle. This runs counter to official documentation of female abuse against men.

link

Trying to find information on it however it not easy, as men rarely report it. But it happens.

I worked with a guy who was in a very abusive marriage. he even went to support groups. He finally left the relationship when he landed in the ER after she beat him with a pipe.

And why did you feel the need to respond to me and tell me that?
I never said that men could not get abused. You must have mixed it up with someone else, because in a previous post I said that men should ALSO be able to get help in shelters.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
that situation in the op's vid is not realistic no real abuser or anybody on a power trip would go off like that in a public place

maybe you have lived a sheltered life, i have seen it many times and also been on the receiving end of it (in public)

just because you have never seen it, please dont pass it off as unrealistic.
trust me that this happens more often than you realize.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
To the op you say you were on the receiving end of abuse, what do you hope to say with this, what was your situation the same as that in the vid?

some of you here have questioned at why girls don't leave their abusers, i guess each case is different, for me it was hard due to not knowing where to go.

I left home at 17 with a guy that my parents didn't like, he got a job in a different state and i moved with him, the whole time before the move, he treated me nice and with respect. After a few months of being there, he lost his job and started drinking.
thats when he started taking it out on me. at home or in public, it didn't seem to matter.

so this is where i found myself in a situation, where i couldn't leave an abusive relationship, i had no friends of my own, since we just moved there, i had no money due to the town we moved to was so small and jobs were scarce, my parents were poor and no doubt pissed off at me leaving home against their will.

So when that happens you have no choice but to stay and hope that he is just going through a bad patch and he will go back to the guy you met.

When you are young things are not so clear and sometimes you need to be shown whats acceptable and what is not, you psychologically tell yourself that you are the problem and what he is doing is justified because no one says anything.

Thats why i stayed until he beat me up one too many times, and someone stepped in and said something. Yes there was a scuffle, but no one got more than their ego bruised.

What this did for me, is wake up to the fact that this is not OK.

I got my butt out of that town, although it meant i had to hitch hike back home, i was lucky enough that my rides were nice and nothing bad happened.

Now i know better and wont ever accept a situation like that again.

If you ever stop an abusive situation, theres a good chance just by saying something that it may empower her to leave him.


food for thought

[edit on 23-7-2010 by Sianara]

reply to post by LuckyMe777


I apologize, I interpreted your wording that you thought society didn't acknowledge that men could suffer the same situation.

Originally posted by Sianara

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
that situation in the op's vid is not realistic no real abuser or anybody on a power trip would go off like that in a public place

maybe you have lived a sheltered life, i have seen it many times and also been on the receiving end of it (in public)

just because you have never seen it, please dont pass it off as unrealistic.
trust me that this happens more often than you realize.

Affirmative I will trust you that this happens often. In fact ill trust you so much as to not ask as how often is often.



Sorry to hear that I'm not going to pretend that I know what you went throw because I don't, but I know what it's like to be in a world were there are no choices in sight, a world of mental anguish a cloudy/foggy world were nothing is clear. Have a nice day.


edit to add more words.

[edit on 23-7-2010 by galadofwarthethird]

[edit on 23-7-2010 by galadofwarthethird]