Women Abuse... Would You?

Originally posted by ziggyproductions05
My mother was with an abusive guy and there is something I learned about him, he is a coward, and so are every guy verbally and physically abusive to a woman! After my brother and I saw a large bruise on her thigh, we knew exactly what was happening and confronted him with force. It may not be the right way to do it, but my mother did not deserve his abuse. If anyone sees this happenig stand up for a woman no matter what. Most of the time the guys are only willing to use their power on physically weaker people and are scared when confronted by someone they cannot control.

completely agree with you there, they prey on weaker people, quite often due to childhood abuse.
My ex had an abusive father, and all that hate, anger, and lack of control he had as a child, came through in his adult life.

thanks for sharing, you are very brave for standing up to him

That's horrible. But i watched a video experiment where nobody did anything to a woman who was hitting a guy either.

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
I could tell you some horror stories about my ex but I have resolved to forgive and move on. Were I to hang on to the anger I would surely choke on it.
Any person, regardless of gender, race or age has the right to NOT be abused.

thank you for sharing
and yes abuse by women is also a problem, i have a girlfriend who treats her man like #, her man doesnt fight back because he is scared of being labeled abusive and instead ignores her.

there is a real problem of women and men staying in relationships like that. Some feel its harder to leave because they either have kids or have no place to go.

That said, I feel bad for abused women and will always stick up for them.
REGARDLESS over my personal safety.

i have to say with some of the comments i have read, some men here need to grow a pair!

The rest of you who have helped, a big thumbs up

thats like asking if im going to come between a lion and its gazelle for the evening. dont women have some type of support group for identifying how to make proper choices in who they allow themselves to fall victim to?

reply to post by Ausar



I believe it is easier for a man to take down a woman due to the fact that men are physically stronger.
However, that power is actually there for him to protect her, not beat her.

I was at a local yokel auction when a BIG younger guy in the audience started being just verbally abusive to a woman who had outbid him fair and square. The lady thought he was joking at first and made an equally snide comment back. It was like she didn't believe it was happening to her. I was up front, but I could hear it all, and he was escalating.

It went on for maybe 10 minutes when this older man sitting there with his wife got up and told him to get OUT, that he was NO gentleman and didn't belong in polite company.

The guy was clearly older, smaller but he was doing what he thought was the right thing in the situation. The guy started back at him but when he did, the rest of us started glaring and the OTHER men got behind the small one - and they escorted that guy to the door.

There was no violence, and no cops called - but there WAS a show of force by the rural southern audience.

Originally posted by LuckyMe777
reply to post by Ausar

 

I believe it is easier for a man to take down a woman due to the fact that men are physically stronger.
However, that power is actually there for him to protect her, not beat her.

That's really beautiful. I'm going to share that with my son.

It would really depend on the context of the situation etc i don't think it's as easy as saying yes or no. But in all likely hood i would step in. BTW i have only seen a man hitting a woman once, which a friend stepped in and stopped. But i have seen woman being extremely violent towards men more times than i should have. I don't think people would be as quick to step in and stop such a situation as they would if it was the other way around, there is a mindset that while it may not be acceptable it's still 'just' a woman hitting a guy so it's not a big deal, even when the violence involves objects that could do a lot of harm.

[edit on 21-7-2010 by Solomons]

If possible i will help the person in need.

My opinion is that any guy who abuses his girlfriend or wife isn't a guy at all but a rather pathetic piece of ... well you know the words.

When I was fifteen I was in an abusive relationship with an older guy (18). Once he stabbed me in the leg with a pencil, (I still have the lead in my leg!) I've been hit, stabbed, thrown from a moving vehicle, kicked while I was down, been spit on, had a gun put to my head, my car window broken, etc.

We were seeing each other secretly, so my parents had no idea, plus they always worked. We dated for three years, and the abuse didn't start until about a year and a half after we started dating. He would hide my keys so I couldn't leave and threaten my family. I was scared to call the police, since my parents had no idea and I really thought he would hurt my family. So it went on for a while. Towards the end I would start to fight back when he would hit me.

One night, all this pent up anger and rage I had towards him came out. I'm a small woman (5'0'') and he was a big boy (5'11''). I weighed less then, and he was very muscular (hoping one day to be a personal trainer). He backhanded me and my nose started bleeding. I gave a war shriek like no sound I've ever made and just jumped him! I beat the living sh*& out of him until he was coughing up blood and laying on the ground moaning and crying, this big tough man! Then I grabbed him by his hair, drug him out to my car, and tossed him in. I drove him to his parents house and dumped him on the front step.

He never called me again. But I hear he's married now.

reply to post by Sianara


Several years ago,I lived in an apartment that had
an upstairs apartment over mine.One morning,I heard
the couple upstairs fighting.I had heard them several
times before this.It sounded like he was throwing her
across the room.She started pleading with him to stop
and I finally broke down and called the police.

Well,the police showed up and she wouldn't press charges.
She had gotten angry with me for even calling the police.
Later,that same morning,she attacked me on my front porch.
The landlord used this incident to help evict them from the
apartment.

A couple of years later,the same woman and I ended up
working at the same factory.When she realized who I was,
she apologised for hitting me.

For me it’s not really a man/woman issue... It’s about bullying...

Not all women deserve my intervention... now before i get flamed allow me to explain...

A few years ago i was on my way home from work... Decided to get myself a bag of chips because i had to work late that night and couldn’t be bothered to cook... Anyway, as i was walking past a bus stop, eating my chips, i see a young man and woman having an altercation... Both shouting at each other at the top of their voices... Both appeared to be drunk or high (or both) There was also two old ladies at the bus stop who seemed to be trying to ignore this argument...

This couple were both using language not suitable for ATS and when the man pushed the woman to floor i just kept on walking... She was still shouting and swearing and i could tell that this was probably a usual occurrence for this couple...

However, once on her feet the woman gave the man a slap and he responded by punching her clean in the face... It did anger me, but to be honest they seemed as rough as each other... I am not going to risk my neck for a scag-head who hasn’t got the sense to leave an abusive bloke... Unfortunately though, one of the old women decided to intervene... “Leave her alone” she shouted as she stood up... The man then swore at the old lady and pushed her over...

That was it... threw my chips down and walked towards him... I remember him looking at me and saying “what you gonna do” seconds before i punched him in his face...

Anyway... can’t say that i won the fight or anything heroic like that... we both ended up rolling around on the floor trading blows... i got a nasty gash in the corner of my eye from his dirty thumb nail... He was bleeding heavily from his nose and mouth... and his girlfriend helped by kicking me in my back several times... This scuffle must have only lasted a few seconds when a group of guys who has just got off a bus decided to break it up!!

The point is this... I will always help those that are being bullied or picked on by a stronger violent person... But i have seen so many people who stay with abusive partners against the advice of friends and family, who they go crying to every time he decides to use her as a punch bag... I am not defending the men that commit these crimes because, and let me be clear about this, i think they are scum... But some women constantly goes back to abusive partners using pathetic excuse’s like “but i love him” and “he says he will change”

These woman need to take responsibility for the effect that his abuse has on the whole family... not just themselves!!

I will always try and weigh up a situation before i get involved... If it’s simply two scag-heads having their usual row about drugs then i am not interested...

Peace

reply to post by Muckster


Hey, don’t feel bad friend. Years ago, I was walking home from dinner one night and spied a woman in her early thirties at a bus stop, being harassed and threatened by a gang of Crypts a Los Angeles Street Gang, who appeared to be in the process of attempting to rob her.

I intervened, dragged the fight between six of them and one of me across the street well out of her harms way, and to my dismay, even though the bus stop was right next to a public pay phone, she made no attempt to call the police, and was still sitting there calmly like it was just another day in L.A. 10 minutes later when the altercation was over.

Not a nod, not a wave, not a gesture of thanks or appreciation of any kind.

It proved to be a very costly altercation for me, and I won’t bore anyone with the details of that, and I truly have no regrets and would probably make the same decision today 27 years later.

Playing a hero and being seen as one, and appreciated as one, are two very different things.

I know the lady wasn’t part of some elaborate scam to attract someone like me, she was Mexican woman, they were black youths, and she eventually boarded her bus safely, as I did wait around to make sure they wouldn’t come back and attempt to go after her again.

The truth is though; it didn’t seem to matter to her one bit that I intervened.

All I got to say is...
If I ever see a man touch a women in an aggressive manner in person...

It won't end well for him.
I don't take kindly to that stuff

reply to post by ProtoplasmicTraveler

the rewards for interference may not always be present at the time...not that anyone is expecting rewards for their actions they are just trying to help..

BUT...

the karma of acting on the behalf of others is all the reward that is necessary...

SO well done to you mate.....





[edit on 21-7-2010 by plube]

reply to post by Sianara

Would appreciate your thoughts on this and hope that there are true gentlemen out there who would stand up for a lady in trouble.

Very interesting topic, as I have real life experience to share. This happened in a small S. Texas town, pop around 17000, 1978.

When I was 17 yrs. old, I was a varsity defensive lineman weighing in at 225# 6'3". I and about half of the starting lineup were gathered after a Friday night football game, sitting on our vehicles across the street from a convenience store. I noticed a skirmish between a couple going on at the gas pumps, and a very pretty blond walking rapidly away down the street. I had seen her before, and I thought I would offer her a ride if the guy took off. Instead, the hairy-hippy guy, a member of a road crew conducting oil-field measurements (doodlebugger), ran after her when she was around 30 yards away.

He ran up behind her, grabbed her hair from behind, and pulled her to the ground. He then proceeded to beat her with closed fist, on the pavement. I jumped up and ran across the street, yelling at the guy to get up, by the time he did he had pulled a Buck Folding Hunter lock blade knife. He had it hidden behind his palm, with only about 1/3" of the blade extending past his middle finger. I barely saw it glinting from the streetlights. I yelled at him to drop it, and he came running at me, swinging the knife.

At that time, I had no knowledge of how to defend against knife attack, so I turned around and made a 40 yd dash to the other side of the street. To my surprise, all of my teammates were hiding behind their vehicles. During my short run, the attacker quit chasing me, and ran back over to his truck at the pumps. He pulled out a long barreled revolver, causing everyone to jump behind the vehicles again.

One of my friends, not on the team, pulled out his own snubnose .38 from his truck. He rested it on the side of his truck bed and took aim at the hippy, saying "Don't worry I got him.". The hippy seemed to come to his senses a little, and went back to his truck to put the revolver away. He then came back across the street, brandishing the knife, and heading toward our linebacker who looked somewhat like me. I jumped out and said "hey it's me you want", and right after that two police cars pulled up to the guy, he dropped his knife in the street, and put his hands behind his head. They arrested him and took him away.

Meanwhile a couple of local girls were attending to the blond "victim". The cops had asked her to file charges, (and myself). After the guy was arrested, she said she did not want to file charges. She just wanted to go back to the motel where the rest of the doodlebugger crew was staying. When the local girls came back after dropping her off, they told me that the other guys there threatened my life if I filed assault w/ deadly weapon charges as the police had asked me to do.

I went to the police station anyway, saying I wanted to file on this guy. The sargeant on duty told me to just go home and go to bed!
I was so disillusioned, I can't describe that feeeling.

My teammates were pu$$!es. The girl was getting beaten, but she did not file. The cops had the knife and him standing in the street wielding it, and a gun in his truck. I was willing to risk my life to file charges,but the cops didn't want to hear it.

Again, in 1981, in Laredo TX, a guy was slapping/beating his girl around in the parking lot of a dance club. My friend who considered himself a semi-pro boxer, rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to take the slapper apart. However, the girl being beaten jumped on his back and started screaming for the police. The security guards arrested him, and the cops took him away. I don't know what happened to him after that.

I don't know of anyone who got involved in a relationship abuse scenario who came out for the better. Real heroes are for war, and they're mostly all dead.

I get involved no matter what sex is being abused. I am always the only one to stop the violence and I have gotten hurt. Yes, women are usually less powerful than the attacker, but I think people need to get involved regardless of chivalry.

Thats pathetic, I remember standing up for my mom one time when she was being beaten, The cops came and tackled me instead!

reply to post by State of Mind


wow
amazing story, thankyou so much for sharing that
you are a very brave woman indeed

power to ya

reply to post by Alexander the Great



uhm, what about if a woman touches a man in a violent way?
You shouldnt just protect one gender, but two. And apparently you cant give me that men are stronger than women stuff, as in a thread on this forum, because i guess its 'inaccurate' or not 'provable'.

[edit on 21-7-2010 by LuckyMe777]